BRM Reviews the 4/21/2014 Raw

[Big Red Machine]

OPENING SEGMENT-okay
Dragon and Brie are in the ring. Then Steph comes out and heavily implies that not only will Kane attack Dragon, but if Brie is around, Kane might attack Brie, too. Then Kane’s music plays and Steph keeps saying that “this is not the time” and doesn’t want Kane to attack… but Kane doesn’t come out. Dragon and Brie try to leave the ring but Kane comes from the crowd and attacks Dragon, while Steph screams for Brie to run and keeps telling Kane to stop. This would have been fine (though Steph’s performance was a bit too convincing, here, because I was wondering why she cared when Kane took Dragon out, and it didn’t even occur to be that she wasn’t sincere until Cole mentioned it).
The assault continued, and Kane gave Dragon a Tombstone Piledriver on the floor. This, too, would have been good. They could sell it as the big deal it should be and give Dragon some time off to be with his family after his father’s sudden passing.
Kane did not stop the attack, instead going over and giving Dragon a Tombstone Piledriver on the ring steps. Then EMT’s came to take Dragon away. This, too, would have been fine. They could really sell the injury and have Dragon take off until Extreme Rules when he comes back to get his revenge on Kane. I can understand why people might think that taking Dragon off of TV so soon after Mania would be a bad idea, but this would let even more focus go on the Shield vs. Evolution match.
But Kane KEPT UP THE ATTACK, knocking Dragon off of the stretcher, picking him up, and giving him a THIRD Tombstone Piledriver, this time on the announce table. At this point, they would have to keep Dragon off of TV for months. Plural. Which would mean they would need to strip him off the WWE World Heavyweight Title, which would create its own major set of problems:
1. People would be extremely pissed off if just take the title off of Dragon right away after his big victory… for a third straight time! The idea that Dragon being screwed out of the title each time he won it would lead to this major payoff of Dragon winning the title clean at Mania and then having a proper run with it was the only thing that kept fans going (which is why everyone was so outraged when Batista won the Royal Rumble).
2. The way things have been set up, the most obvious choices to put the belt on would be 1) Randy, and 2) Batista, which would cause them to feud and thus ruin the Shield vs. Evolution angle (because the heels wouldn’t be united).
3. Taking Dragon off of TV for such a long time while he is so hot (combined with #1) might actually do a significant amount of damage to him.
Also, with how much everyone was supporting Bryan back in the fall and with Bryan being a babyface and a nice guy… why did none of his babyface friends come out and try to stop Kane from attacking him?
The good news, though, is that at least they did spend a lot of time focusing on this injury angle, even after the commercial break.
INTERCONTINENTAL TITLE #1 CONTENDERSHIP TOURNAMENT SECOUND ROUND MATCH: Bad News Barrett vs. Sheamus- 6.75/10 (but very close to a 7. Probably would have been one if I had seen the stuff during the commercials).
Does anyone else find it suspicious that Barrett turns his elbow pad inside-out before hitting his KO elbow?

Cole hypes up “one of the most controversial app votes in history. An app vote that could have repercussions for weeks and weeks to come.” What was this app vote? Whether Cena would face Harper 1-on-2, face Harper AND Rowan in a handicap match, or face all three Wyatts in a handicap match.
Technically Cole did not say anything untrue (the “repercussions for weeks and weeks to come” could be Cena getting such an ass-kicking that he will be injured for a few weeks), but it was still very disappointing. I was expecting something bigger.
What they were trying to do with this (as Cole put across for us), was that if you are a Cena fan and want to see him get his hands on Bray, the only way to do that is to put him in a 3-on-1 handicap match, thus creating a dilemma for you… except that Cena already has a 1-on-1 cage match against Bray signed for just thirteen days from now at Extreme Rules, so why would anyone vote for the 3-on-1 match if they can see Cena face Bray in a fair fight by just waiting two weeks?

BRAY WYATT PROMO- awesome.

“WWE Extreme Rules is presented by Juicy Drop Candies.” That made me laugh.

LOS MATADORES & EL TORITO vs. 2 1/2MB (Drew McIntyre, Jinder Mahal, & Hornswoggle) (w/Heath Slater)- 4/10
Torito and Hornswoggle did the same spots they did on Smackdown while Cole and JBL made the same jokes they made on Smackdown. Drew broke up the pin, then got the tag and knocked Los Matadores off the apron and was about to beat up Hornswoggle, but they did some comedy allowing Los Matadores to come back. The babyfaces hit their triple-team finish and Torito pinned Drew.
Remember four years ago, when Vince McMahon declared Drew McIntyre to be the “Chosen One” and the future of the WWE and all that, and how he was the IC Champ and was an awesome heel, tormenting Teddy Long and putting on great matches with Matt Hardy and Kofi Kingston? It’s astounding to think that that is the same guy who has spent most of his time since then as a jobber, and just got pinned by a midget. Never has calling the cops because your wife was beating on you ever cost a man so much money.
JBL referred to this as a “five man tag team match.” I laughed uproariously. Cole corrected him, which has necessitated me drawing the following diagram:

*JOKE*

Michael Cole



Torito
Hornswoggle






EVOLUTION ARRIVE AT THE BUILDING- an hour after the start of the show. They couldn’t have done whatever they were doing in an office backstage?

EVOLUTION & SHIELD SEGMENT- eh.
Evolution come out and they all cut promos. Hunter has such a bad case of laryngitis that he sounded like Batista. Then they show a video package. Then the Shield show up and Evolution retreats up the ramp. Then the Shield guys each cut promos, with Rollins trying to sew dissension between the three heels. The Shield go to fight Evolution, but all the guys who beat Evolution up last week show up, so the Shield don’t go fight Evolution.
THE USOS vs. THE RHODES BROTHERS- 3.75/10
Rhodes Brothers lose and show dissension after the match. Ryback & Axel, who were doing commentary, jumped Usos from behind after the match.

EMMA (w/Santino Marella) vs. LAYLA EL (w/Fandango)- 0.5/10
This was the FOURTH match in this feud in the past eleven days, and NOTHING HAS HAPPENED. JBL said there were bubbles for Emma, but I didn’t see any. Santino attacks Fandango for no reason. Santino is supposed to be the babyface. Emma gets the win by pulling a cobra-sock out of her boot. She and Santino to dumb crap with their cobras after the match. No one cares.

JOHN CENA PROMO- okay.
He says that if the WWE Universe wants him to fight all three of the Wyatts, he will do that. He actually said it twice. The first time he said it like a normal person. The second time he said it with clearly scripted dialogue. Then he finished off with a combination of the two.

INTERCONTINENTAL TITLE #1 CONTENDERSHIP TOURNAMENT SECOUND ROUND MATCH: Rob Van Dam vs. Cesaro (w/Paul Heyman)- 7/10
They did the finish they had to do. RVD advances (to lose to Barrett next week, I assume), while Cesaro doesn’t really get beaten and the Swagger-Cesaro feud gets some build )can’t really call it heat because Cesaro came out on top, but I’m kind of fine with that in this feud).

RVD, CESARO, & HEYMAN SEGMENT- great!
RVD tells Cesaro “if you really want to make it in this business, keep your wallet, your house, and your future as far away from this guy (Heyman) as possible.” This would have been good if Heyman hadn’t just led Lesnar to break the Streak.

PAIGE vs. AKSANA- 3/10
Because this match was soooo good on Smackdown that apparently WWE felt we needed to see it again. There wasn’t another jobber Diva they could have booked Paige against? They had to book the exact same match as on Smackdown for absolutely no reason?
Anyway, Paige spent WAY too much time getting her ass kicked by a jobber. Again.
The announcers tried to build up the Divas Title match at Extreme Rules by telling us that Tamina is the “toughest diva on the roster.” This would be fine, except for the fact that we have seen her get pinned in less than five minutes approximately three billion times in the past few months. THIS is why you need to protect your monsters and your stars!

SIN CARA vs. ALEXANDER RUSEV (w/Lana)- no rating. Great squash.
This was an ROH-style extended squash where squashee still gets some offense in without taking away from the squasher. Another good pre-match promo by Lana, too.
Apparently Rusev vs. Truth & Woods has been booked for Extreme Rules.

HANDICAP MATCH: John Cena vs. The Wyatt Family- 4/10
I really wasn’t into this at all, and they called for the DQ WAY too quick. I absolutely hate when they do that, and especially here, where you know they did it just so Cena wouldn’t have to lose. It’s a F*CKING 3-ON-1 HANDICAP MATCH! Losing it won’t hurt Cena at all, SO JUST LET HIM TAKE THE LOSS!
Bray sings and laughs while cradling Cena in his arms.

A good Raw with a bad main event.

[NWK2000]

The only reason why Daniel Bryan is being taken off TV is because his dad died directly after the honeymoon. But from a kayfabe point of view I think Daniel Bryan getting beat up will only make him look like a greater underdog.

[Big Red Machine]

The only reason why Daniel Bryan is being taken off TV is because his dad died directly after the honeymoon. But from a kayfabe point of view I think Daniel Bryan getting beat up will only make him look like a greater underdog.

My point, though is that they beat him up so badly that I don't know how they can possibly justify him coming back for at least a few months. Just one of the tombstones they did would have sufficed to take him off of TV for a few weeks. All three (combined with the stretcher thing) is WAY too much.

[badnewzxl]

The only reason why Daniel Bryan is being taken off TV is because his dad died directly after the honeymoon. But from a kayfabe point of view I think Daniel Bryan getting beat up will only make him look like a greater underdog.

My point, though is that they beat him up so badly that I don't know how they can possibly justify him coming back for at least a few months. Just one of the tombstones they did would have sufficed to take him off of TV for a few weeks. All three (combined with the stretcher thing) is WAY too much.

that's a good point, esp considering he was out for a whole week just from the "shoulder injury" caused by HHH before WM.