BRM Reviews the 4/11/2014 Smackdown

[Big Red Machine]

OPENING SEGMENT- Cena recaps the week’s events from all around the WWE. Then the Wyatt’s cut a good promo on him. The problem is… that having Cena win clean at Mania has totally destroyed my ability to believe that this will ever go anywhere.

THE BIG SHOW vs. CESARO (w/Paul Heyman)- 5.75/10
Swagger attacks Cesaro, causing a DQ, but Show makes the save… then Cesaro beats Show up. If you were going to have Cesaro beat Show up afterwards, keeping Cesaro heel. I guess this sets them up for a Triple Threat at Extreme Rules and lets them to a rematch for Cesaro to beat Show at some point down the line (as well as saving Swagger vs. Cesaro one-on-one for a later date).

CURTIS AXEL & RYBACK vs. LOS MATADORES (w/El Torito)- 4/10
El Torito dove onto Ryback right in front of the ref, but there was no DQ.

RVD PROMO- okay.

ROB VAN DAM vs. DAMIEN SANDOW- 4/10
A rematch from Raw. Why is thing even happening? Well... Michael Cole explained to us that Damien Sandow demanded a rematch after being embarrassed that he lost to RVD so quickly on Raw. A perfectly reasonable explanation. That's all it takes to not make this feel like extremely lazy booking on the B show.
Sandow lasts longer than last time, but still loses. The match was pretty much pointless, but at least it wasn't extremely lazy booking.

Cole tells us that Zeb said that Cesaro leaving him and joining Heyman is exactly what a sneaky immigrant would do. This was a great line... so why have Cole just mention it to us instead of having Zeb say it in a promo?

DRAGON & HOGAN SEGMENT- very fun.

BAD NEWS BARRETT vs. KOFI KINGSTON- 4/10

SANTINO MARELLA (w/Emma) vs. FANDANGO (w/ Layla El)- no rating.
The segment was great for what it was, but the whole set up for it drove me nuts.
So they broke Fandango & Summer Rae up on Twitter. Because it's not like they have five weekly TV shows on which to do this. He dumped her via text message, announced on Twitter, because she cost him a match on the one-year Anniversary of his victory over Chris Jericho at Wrestlemania- a match so important to him that he hasn't mentioned it in about 11 months. Look... if you want to break them up, that's fine. If you want this to be the reason, then that's fine, too... but you need to make it mean something!
Have Fandango cut a promo or two talking it up and announce that he is going to follow that big win up with another one on the anniversary by defeating a big-name WWE superstar. Have him make an open challenge, which is answered by RVD (which would have been a much better way for Rob to return). Have Fandango actually have a competitive match against Rob, THEN have Rob get the win and have Fandango find some way to blame it on Summer Rae.
Then do segment where he either sends her to the back before matches start or refuses to let her come to ringside with him before finally dumping her. Once he has dumped her, you have him say that he is going to avenge his loss to RVD (which was totally Summer Rae's fault and not his) and book a match at Extreme Rules where Layla helps Fandango win. From there you can have Summer feud with Layla and build up to a mixed tag match at the next PPV.
That gives you months of TV (including two PPV matches), elevates Fandango (and Layla, too, although the was pretty much at rock bottom before), and most importantly, it is a story people will be moire likely to care about because EVERYTHING HAPPENS ON-SCREEN. Fandango thinking the anniversary of beating Y2J is important, Summer costing him the match, Fandango dumping her, Layla turning heel... it all happens right where we can see it.
Also, the way they did it makes Summer Rae the babyface, and Summer Rae should not be a babyface.

KANE, ORTON, & BATISTA BACKSTAGE- okay

DANIEL BRYAN & THE USOS vs. RANDY ORTON, BATISTA, & KANE- 5.5
They wrestled for a while, with the heels working over the Usos injured ribs. Dragon got a hot tag, but the match got thrown out because the ref lost control (with no official announcement of the finish). The heels beat up the babyfaces, until the Shield made the save (though it was a bit too late for the Usos at that point). Kane eats a running knee from Dragon and a Triple Powerbomb from the Shield.

Overall, a bad outing for the first Smackdown after Mania.

STUPID ANNOUNCER QUOTES:
1. Cole "The Shield are faceless and anonymous no more."
WHAT?! When were they ever faceless or anonymous?