BRM Reviews the 3/3/2014 Raw

[Big Red Machine]

CM Punk chants from literally the moment the show went on the air.

PUNK’S MUSIC! (HUGE POP!)

But HEYMAN comes out!
JBL is amused by this. Lawler looks aghast. Great selling from both of them.

Heyman is now encouraging the Punk chants.

Heyman is now sitting down with his legs crossed in the middle of the ring, Punk-style.

PAUL HEYMAN PROMO-
“I came here tonight to tell the story of a Paul Heyman guy. A Paul Heyman guy who was really never wanted in WWE. A Paul Heyman guy who they thought was too small to main event Wrestlemania.”
Paul E. tells us that Punk isn’t here… which means that he is, because they wouldn’t be doing this otherwise. Heyman says it is the fans’ fault that Punk isn’t here because the fans made Punk turned babyface and leave him. He also says it is Taker’s fault that Punk isn’t here because his problems with Punk started after the loss at Mania and thus Heyman wants to see The Streak broken as revenge… and the only man who can do that is Brock Lesnar. Brock comes out, they show a replay of Taker stabbing Brock with the pen last week. The crowd responded by chanting “CM Punk!”
Brock says that Taker attacked him last night because he is scared of him. Brock tried to say his name the way Heyman does. It was hilarious.

As Brock and Heyman were walking back up the ramp, Mark Henry came out to get revenge on Brock! Brock and Henry are brawling! Brock gives Mark an f-5 through the announce table. The crowd is responds by chanting “CM Punk!”
The brawl wasn’t bad, but it was nowhere near as awesome as their brawl from the last Raw before the new year.

WWE TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH: The New Age Outlaws(c) vs. The Usos- 6/10
Road Dogg decided that Chicago was not worthy of his catchphrase. More CM Punk chants in the beginning of this match, but the crowd soon got really hot for the Usos… and this was a damn good night for it, too, because the Usos won the belts!
It really feels like the only reason they did this was to give the crowd something to cheer about because it really doesn’t make much sense to have them win the belts now instead of at Mania.

After a preview of the guest host’s new movie, we got a backstage segment with a bunch of Divas talking about how impressive the trailer was. Then Brie Bella says that she heard that the guest host is “on his way.” IT’S HALF AN HOUR INTO THE SHOW! HOW THE F*CK IS HE NOT THERE YET?! This was horrendously scripted and entirely pointless. Let the f*cker show up and plug his show, but don’t waste any more time on it than you have to.

BIG E. LANGSTON vs. CESARO (w/Zeb Coulter & Jack Swagger)- no rating. Decent segment. Same finish as last week, but Claudio and Zeb seem to be more angry. Big E. gives Cesaro the Big Ending afterwards. Jack doesn’t seem to care at all.

THE SHIELD vs. THE WYATT FAMILY- 7.5/10
HUGE pop for the Shield. Same for the Wyatts. Bray’s “we’re here” is now being personalized for each city. Immediate “this is awesome!” chants. SETH ROLLINS IS A F*CKING WRECKING BALL!
They told a great story with the Shield’s ability to work as a team totally breaking down through basically a series of unfortunate coincidences. Nothing was malicious, but it became too much and ROLLINS walked out on Ambrose. Reigns tried to convince him to stay, but he didn’t. Reigns and Ambrose tried to fight on their own, and did a good job considering the odds, but ultimately lost. Major props are due to whoever came up with the idea to have Rollins stay and watch from half-way up the ramp because the whole time you were just waiting for the point when he would have a change of heart and rush down to make the save.

RENEE YOUNG INTERVIEWS BATISTA- Great promo
They piped in some cheers for this and the crowd mic was definitely been turned down, but you could still hear the chants for Bryan and Punk.

NAO will get their rematch live tomorrow night on Main Event on the WWE Network.

MIXED TAG TEAM MATCH: Santino Marella & Emma vs. Summer Rae & Fandango-
BUBBLES FOR EMMAS ENTRANCE! CM Punk chants. Santino and Emma confuse everyone by high-fiving while one of them is on the apron, constantly causing the legal gender to switch. I was rolling with laughter. “We want Ziggler!” chants. Babyfaces win. Crowd is happy. Emma tried to jump into Santino’s arms in the corner, but Santino moved so she wound up Stinger Splashing the turnbuckle. Santino then gets Emma to do the giant trombone. Have fun with that, pervy gif-makers.

STEPH PLUGS THE NETWORK- she advocates it as a family building tool because you can share great moments with your children. She makes certain to put Hunter over as one of the best of all time.

CHRISTIAN vs. SHEAMUS- 6.75/10
We got CM Punk chants at the beginning of this one, too, but more importantly, someone held up a sign that read “Lesnar is ticklish.” There is definitely some chant being muted here. I think it is “we want Ziggler!” There were also some totally undeserved “this is awful” and “this match sucks” chants.” Hilariously, these came right before false finish which everyone popped for. Then they started chanting “boring.” Idiots.
Punk chants are back now.
Cool finish. Great match. F*ck the crowd.


SCOOBY DOO/WWE CROSSOVER PROMO- Attention Wrestlemania XXX crowd: I am giving you fair warning. If we don’t get a loud, sustained “SCOOBY DOO!” chant at Wrestlemania exactly like the one in this trailer, I will be extremely unhappy.

RENEE YOUNG INTERVIEWS SHEAMUS- Christian attacks him and beat in the ribs something heavy. Great segment.

THE BELLA TWINS vs. FOXANA- 1/10
The graphic for Alicia Fox and Aksana did not say “Foxana.” BOO!

DANIEL BRYAN PROMO-he says that the fans have a voice and that “tonight we are going to hijack Raw!” He says that he will not leave this ring until one of two things happen. The crowd responded by chanting “CM PUNK!” Dragon had a good laugh at this. Dragon says he won’t leave the ring until either Batista shows up to fight him or Triple H accepts his challenge for a match at Wrestlemania.
Well… that didn’t take long. Hunter and Steph come out. Steph tries to provoke him but is drowned out by a sea of boos. Dragon laughs it off. Hunter turns down the match once again and says that everyone who doesn’t make it in this era always blames the Authority, but they should really be blaming themselves. Hunter calls Dragon a B+ and says it will take a lot more than a B+ to get him to lace up his boots again.
Dragon says that they need to listen to the fans. Steph tells him the fans will turn on him, but Steph and Hunter never will. Steph says that without the McMahon Family, Dragon would have nothing. Hunter says that Wrestlemania is the showcase of the immortals and Dragon doesn’t measure up. He tells Dragon to get out of his ring. Dragon says “make me.”
Steph calls for Kane, so Dragon takes it to Kane. Steph calls for security, who force Dragon off and he goes to the back. This was a FANTASTIC segment, and they made sure to get plenty of shots of the whole arena chanting “YES!” in support of all of Dragon’s points.

ALBERTO DEL RIO vs. DOLPH ZIGGLER (w/Aaron Paul)-
Dolph showed up with the guest host in a fancy car. He got a huge pop when people realized he was in the car. Crowd was very into Dolph and actually booed when the guest host distracted Del Rio because they knew it meant Dolph wasn’t going over clean.

PAUL BEARER IS GOING INTO THE HALL OF FAME- YAY!

BIG E. LANGSTON vs. JACK SWAGGER (w/Zeb Coulter & Cesaro)- no rating. Okay segment. Cesaro immediately jumps Big E., causing Jack to be DQed. Jerry Lawler immediately comments that “what’s good for the goose is good for the Swagger.” WIN!
Swagger and Cesaro argue. Swagger shoves Cesaro! Cesaro dous a double leg and goes for the big swing, but Zeb tells him not to do it. Zeb tires to make peace between them by demanding that they hug it out. A great segment, but it shouldn’t have happened this week. Why would you not wait until Smackdown to do this? Or next week? This just felt so rushed.
Dragon vs. Kane has been added to tomorrow night’s Main Event.

JOHN CENA PROMO- not so good.
Deafening boos for Cena. Not as bad as Steph, but close. His knee is taped up and he is selling it. CM Punk chants. “Last week I was injured by the Wyatt Family.” Cheers. “Because of doctor’s orders, this week I will not have a match.” More cheers, and “YES!” chants. More Punk chants.
Cena’s promo wasn’t bad. The problems was that he basically said the same stuff he said a few weeks ago about new stars having to go through him.
Bray showed up on the Tron to cut a promo. The people chanted “CM Punk” through the beginning of it. Bray’s promo was awesome.

ORTON WISHES BATISTA GOOD LUCK- that was weird. It was like someone realized that they forgot to write something for Orton to do, so they just quickly wrote this.

RUSEV & LANA SHOW UP- pointless.
I thought Dragon vs. Batista was up next. What gives? They do the same crap they did in those videos, but live.

CLIPS OF HOGAN ON THE TODAY SHOW- Wow. He never worked anywhere NEAR this hard for TNA. I bet if Dixie saw this she would throw something at her TV. And I wouldn’t blame her.

DANIEL BRYAN vs. BATISTA- 4.5/10 WAY too short.
They definitely turned the crowd mic off for everything until Dragon got to the ring, which just plain doesn’t make sense. If Dragon is a babyface and Dave is a heel now, why would you want everyone to hear the people booing Dave and cheering for Dragon.
“Daniel Bryan” chants, “CM Punk!” chants, “you can’t wrestle!” chants, “Boo-tista!” chants, and even a “skinny jeans” sign. The authority distract Dragon, allowing Dave to get the advantage. Dave throws Dragon into Orton. “Overrated!” chants for Batista. Dragon sets up for the running knee but Orton attacks him, causing a DQ. Orton goes to RKO Batista, but Dave pushes Orton off, right into the running knee. Dragon then hits Dave with the big running dropkick in the corner. He dropkicks Kane off the apron into Triple H. Batista spears Dragon. Kane goes to attack Dragon, but Kane stops him.
Hunter goes to lecture Dragon, but Dragon KICKS HIM IN THE FACE! Dave gives Dragon the Batista Bomb, then Hunter gives Dragon a Pedigree. The show ends with the Authority standing over Dragon while the crowd chants “CM Punk!”

It definitely seems like they are constantly adjusting the crowd mic. They were ready to fight the “hijacking” and did a decently successful job of it if you don’t realize they are controlling the crowd mic.

[badnewzxl]

what's your overall rating for this show?

[cero2k]

CHRISTIAN vs. SHEAMUS- 6.75/10
We got CM Punk chants at the beginning of this one, too, but more importantly, someone held up a sign that read “Lesnar is ticklish.” There is definitely some chant being muted here. I think it is “we want Ziggler!” There were also some totally undeserved “this is awful” and “this match sucks” chants.” Hilariously, these came right before false finish which everyone popped for. Then they started chanting “boring.” Idiots.
Punk chants are back now.
Cool finish. Great match. F*ck the crowd.

IT WAS boring, there is just so much sheamus vs christian one should endure in his lifetime.

CLIPS OF HOGAN ON THE TODAY SHOW- Wow. He never worked anywhere NEAR this hard for TNA. I bet if Dixie saw this she would throw something at her TV. And I wouldn’t blame her.

of course he does, WWE sends him everywhere and pay all costs.

[Big Red Machine]

CHRISTIAN vs. SHEAMUS- 6.75/10
We got CM Punk chants at the beginning of this one, too, but more importantly, someone held up a sign that read “Lesnar is ticklish.” There is definitely some chant being muted here. I think it is “we want Ziggler!” There were also some totally undeserved “this is awful” and “this match sucks” chants.” Hilariously, these came right before false finish which everyone popped for. Then they started chanting “boring.” Idiots.
Punk chants are back now.
Cool finish. Great match. F*ck the crowd.

IT WAS boring, there is just so much sheamus vs christian one should endure in his lifetime.

But the matches are always good. If you want to chant "same old sh*t" maybe that's fine, but don't chant "boring" then pop for false finish. It makes you look stupid and invalidates everything else you say as just trying to troll the show.

CLIPS OF HOGAN ON THE TODAY SHOW- Wow. He never worked anywhere NEAR this hard for TNA. I bet if Dixie saw this she would throw something at her TV. And I wouldn’t blame her.

of course he does, WWE sends him everywhere and pay all costs.

Doesn't matter. It was part of his job when he was in TNA> That was what he was brought in for. To get them more exposure, and from all accounts, he made no effort to do so whatsoever. He barely (if ever) mentioned them in any interviews he did.

[Big Red Machine]

what's your overall rating for this show?

I don't know. I guess I'd have to call it good with the Dragon-Authority segment and the Shield vs. Wyatts match and even the tag title win, but I was really looking forward to the main event and was very disappointed by how short it was.

Not going lie... I made an effort to watch this show live just to see what crowd would do and whether Punk would return (both Meltzer and Alvarez had been told that he would), and that stuff wasn't as.... fun? as I had been hoping.

[badnewzxl]

I wish they'd make a wrestling themed Leprechaun just as they're making this Wrestlemania Scooby-Doo. The Leprechaun movie writes itself simply bc all you have to do is throw the lil guy in there.

Imagine all the folks backstage mistaking Hornswoggle for the Leprechaun and vice versa. Miz would be the Antagonist who steals the gold and melts it down into a belt; Hornswoggle has the only piece left so he has good luck too. Leprechaun comes to get his gold, hilarity and horror ensue. DAMMIT I NEED TO WRITE THIS MOVIE!!!!

[cero2k]

I wish they'd make a wrestling themed Leprechaun just as they're making this Wrestlemania Scooby-Doo. The Leprechaun movie writes itself simply bc all you have to do is throw the lil guy in there.

Imagine all the folks backstage mistaking Hornswoggle for the Leprechaun and vice versa. Miz would be the Antagonist who steals the gold and melts it down into a belt; Hornswoggle has the only piece left so he has good luck too. Leprechaun comes to get his gold, hilarity and horror ensue. DAMMIT I NEED TO WRITE THIS MOVIE!!!!

you mean this?



http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leprechaun:_Origins

[badnewzxl]

see, that seems like they're taking the Leprechaun WAY too serious, lol. I wonder if Vince has seen any of the others besides the first one because they are AWESOMELY ridiculous! My second favorite Horror Franchise (Freddy Wins, Jason and Wishmaster follows)

[badnewzxl]

btw, can't believe you didn't note the Jawbreaker Lariat Ambrose hit on Harper!

[Big Red Machine]

btw, can't believe you didn't note the Jawbreaker Lariat Ambrose hit on Harper!

I guess I missed it.

[kirbs2002]

THE BELLA TWINS vs. FOXANA- 1/10
The graphic for Alicia Fox and Aksana did not say “Foxana.” BOO!

You didn't like this? I thought this match was especially good for a divas tag match, even if on the short side.

[Bob-O]

btw, can't believe you didn't note the Jawbreaker Lariat Ambrose hit on Harper!

I guess I missed it.

Definitely worth another look, it was one of the highlights of the show for me! As far as marking out, it ranks right up there with the first time I saw Swiss Death...