BRM Reviews the 12/20/2013 Smackdown

[Big Red Machine]

OPENING SEGMENT- of course Cena is the first one to come out and confront Orton. Shouldn’t Dragon be doing this, seeing as how he was the one screwed out of a win last night? Anyway, Dragon came out and said the things he should have said. Cena’s presence was really unnecessary. It feels like they are trying to force him into this spot. The end result of this is that the main event will be The Shield vs. Dragon, Punk, & Cena. Should be awesome.

BIG E. LANGSTON (w/Mark Henry) vs. JACK SWAGGER (w/Antonio Cesaro & Zeb Coulter)- 1.5/10
Swagger lost WAY too quickly.
Has a sign that says “Deport Santa Claus” on one side and “Santa Claus is an illegal immigrant” on the other. This was debated on commentary. At one point JBL simply said “if Santa is a mythological being, why do you care if he is deported?”

TAMINA vs. BRIE BELLA (w/Nikki Bella)- 0.25/10
Tamina loses clean in two minutes to Brie Bella. WHAT THE F*CK?! SHE’S SUPPOSED TO BE A MONSTER! The only reason I’m not giving this a dud is because I got to see Tamina kick someone in the face.

SIN CARA vs. DREW MCINYTRE (w/Jinder Mahal)- 2/10
After Cara gets the win, JBL declares "Sin Cara is on a roll! It's like we've got a new Sin Cara." I laughed my ass off.

TENSAI vs. BRODUS CLAY- no rating. Decent segment.
No Funkadactyls at ringside here. These two had a short but great big-man match until Woods and the Funkadactyls show up and distract him, allowing Tensai to get the roll-up. Brodus attacks Tensai after the match, but Woods comes down and he and Tensai fight Brodus off, then celebrate with the Funkadactyls. The booking here wasn't bad... it's just that the match was going so well that I really wanted to see a clean finish, not the babyface getting lucky.

CODY RHODES & GOLDUST vs. THE WYATT FAMILY (w/Bray Wyatt)- 6.5/10
Apparantly Cody & Goldust's official team name is "the Brotherhood." That name sucks. If they wanted to pick a sh*tty name, they should have found one that didn't make me think they were going to go off and fight the X-Men after their match was over.
JBL plugs his Twitter, breaking kayfabe by revealing that his middle name isn't actually "Bradshaw."
Cole tells us that his sources tell him that Luke Harper "used to be a truck driver." JBL asks "who did he work for?" CHIKARA REFERENCE FOR THE WIN! (though Cole's comments about how Bray took Harper in and "made him believe in himself again" seems more like Age of the Fall-type stuff to me).
Goldust hit Harper with the Crossrhodes, which the announcers seem to have totally missed. I'm really not happy with how often Cody and Goldust are losing.
After the match, the Wyatts went for a beatdown or something, but Dragon came out with a steel chair and made the save. This might be the first time that someone has really gotten their hands on Bray for more than one shot. I'm not too sure that i like this, either, as it takes away from the fact that the Wyatts just beat the tag champs pretty much clean.

DAMIEN SANDOW PROMO- he says people are spoiled and thus he will cancel Christmas by beating Mark Henry on Raw. Good stuff. Then a babyface comes out to interrupted him. Which babyface, you ask? Why THE MIZ, of course. So let's review: Over the course of the past two months, the Miz was a babyface. Then he turned heel on Kofi. Then he turned babyface again to do a goofy segment with Michael Strahan. Then he turned heel again so he could turn on Kofi again... and now he has turned babyface again just to tell Damien Sandow to not be a Grinch. WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU PICK MIZ FOR THIS SPOT?! Was the entire rest of the roster in the bathroom or something?

DAMIEN SANDOW vs. THE MIZ-
On commentary, Cole declares Mark Henry to be "the real Santa Claus." This would be the same Michael Cole who, less than an hour ago, was insisting to Zeb Coulter that Santa didn't really exist.
This was all to build up Good Santa vs. Bad Santa match on Raw to determine whether Christmas will be cancelled. Sandow will be the Bad Santa, while the Good Santa will be Mark Henry. So whatdo they build Sandow up for his match against the World's Strongest Man? They have the Miz beat the crap out of him, then have him get a roll-up win. WHAT THE F*CK?!

KOFI KINGSTON vs. FANDANGO (w/Summer Rae)- 4/10
Very good for the time it got... and a clean win for Fandango.

RENEE YOUNG INTERVIEWS DANIEL BRYAN- The Wyatts ambush Dragon and beat him up. I really liked the fact that they set this up as an interview instead of just having the camera happen to be there. That is the way everything should be handled, if possible.

HANDICAP MATCH: The Shield vs. CM Punk & John Cena- 5.75/10
Another f*cking handicap match! GRRRRR!!!
Holy crap that Superman punch to Cena looked AWESOME!
The match started well bt had a sh*tty finish (the Shield got DQed for having too many guys in the ring... and it wasn't even for that long!) The Shield wind up beating both guys down afterwards (the babyfaces had a brief advantage when Cena came up on the Shield from behind, but a spear by Reigns changed the momentum). Cena eats a triple powerbomb and Punk was about to as well when Big E. Langston came out to make the save. The Shield, for some reason, chooses to run at him one at a time, and thus Big E. takes them all out. Reigns gets up and he and Big E. have a staredown. The other two Shield members go to join Big E., but Punk grabs a chair and the Shield retreats.

I'm not saying this was bad, but I don' think it was a good idea. Big E. just won the IC Title. He is already being pushed. There was no need to put him in this role. This is the sort of thing that he should do to stay hot after he loses the belt. Not what you do to push him while he is champion.

Overall a bad Smackdown.

[Big Red Machine]

Okay. Finally posted everything!

[Bob-O]

SIN CARA vs. DREW MCINYTRE (w/Jinder Mahal)- 2/10
After Cara gets the win, JBL declares "Sin Cara is on a roll! It's like we've got a new Sin Cara." I laughed my ass off.

I loved this too. Although, nobody has mentioned Sin Cara's giant new tattoo... which is gonna make it hard for them to go back should they ever want to...

I'm not saying this was bad, but I don' think it was a good idea. Big E. just won the IC Title. He is already being pushed. There was no need to put him in this role.

I disagree. I'm still not a huge fan of Big E, but things like this are EXACTLY what the IC Champ should be doing, especially after unifying the Title. Seen with the main eventers, defends against the midcarders. I know management is high up on Big E, but I'm wondering if putting him with Cena and Punk isn't more about getting some of the stank off the IC Belt.

[Big Red Machine]

SIN CARA vs. DREW MCINYTRE (w/Jinder Mahal)- 2/10
After Cara gets the win, JBL declares "Sin Cara is on a roll! It's like we've got a new Sin Cara." I laughed my ass off.

I loved this too. Although, nobody has mentioned Sin Cara's giant new tattoo... which is gonna make it hard for them to go back should they ever want to...

Just tell him to put a shirt on... but I'm pretty sure they won't be switching back.

I'm not saying this was bad, but I don' think it was a good idea. Big E. just won the IC Title. He is already being pushed. There was no need to put him in this role.

I disagree. I'm still not a huge fan of Big E, but things like this are EXACTLY what the IC Champ should be doing, especially after unifying the Title. Seen with the main eventers, defends against the midcarders. I know management is high up on Big E, but I'm wondering if putting him with Cena and Punk isn't more about getting some of the stank off the IC Belt.

It's possible, but I don't think that really works. If you want to make the title matter, things have to be about the title. Not about the guy who happens to be the champion.

[cero2k]

SIN CARA vs. DREW MCINYTRE (w/Jinder Mahal)- 2/10
After Cara gets the win, JBL declares "Sin Cara is on a roll! It's like we've got a new Sin Cara." I laughed my ass off.

I loved this too. Although, nobody has mentioned Sin Cara's giant new tattoo... which is gonna make it hard for them to go back should they ever want to...

Just tell him to put a shirt on... but I'm pretty sure they won't be switching back.

Mistico could come back and say "really dude? again!?"

I'm not saying this was bad, but I don' think it was a good idea. Big E. just won the IC Title. He is already being pushed. There was no need to put him in this role.

I disagree. I'm still not a huge fan of Big E, but things like this are EXACTLY what the IC Champ should be doing, especially after unifying the Title. Seen with the main eventers, defends against the midcarders. I know management is high up on Big E, but I'm wondering if putting him with Cena and Punk isn't more about getting some of the stank off the IC Belt.

It's possible, but I don't think that really works. If you want to make the title matter, things have to be about the title. Not about the guy who happens to be the champion.

they need to work both things at the same time, a strong title needs a strong champ, and the champ shouldn't be brought down from a weak title. I think Big E is a guy that is being worked along with the title. he's touching the level of the main eventers and at the same time, he's still defending the title against Sandow, Axel, and now fandango to keep the title relevant.

[Bob-O]

It's possible, but I don't think that really works. If you want to make the title matter, things have to be about the title. Not about the guy who happens to be the champion.

Sound logic, but they've screwed up SO BAD with the IC and US titles over the last few years that'd at this point it'd almost be ridiculous to make it about the title. I don't think the fans would buy it. It's to the point that I DON'T WANT any of my favorites to pick these titles up, because almost immediately after the burying process begins. Winning either of those titles might be a push on paper, but nobody cares... nobody gives a shit about the titles, because they don't mean anything anymore. It means whoever is holding it is about to lose 6 televised non-title matches to their next PPV Opponent (if they have one), or you're Dean Ambrose and they forget you even have it. The damage has been done.

That said, having the IC Champ looking strong with two of your top draws is a GREAT way to position the title so you can get the people to start caring again. They have to start somewhere...

they need to work both things at the same time, a strong title needs a strong champ, and the champ shouldn't be brought down from a weak title. I think Big E is a guy that is being worked along with the title. he's touching the level of the main eventers and at the same time, he's still defending the title against Sandow, Axel, and now fandango to keep the title relevant

Exactly what I was trying to say.