BRM Reviews the 10/28/2013 Raw

[Big Red Machine]

YOU CAN VOTE FOR A STIP FOR PUNK VS. RYBACK- Why are these two men wrestling tonight?! And especially in a gimmick match! They just had a Hell in a Cell match with a clean finish last night, after which Punk got his revenge on Heyman! If they are going to wrestle again, you need to do a damn angle to set it up again! Why not do the angle on tonight’s show so you can do the match on Smackdown or on next week’s Raw. This is f*cking Booking 101!

For some reason there appears to be a speaker in one corner of the ring.

OPENING SEGMENT- Cena comes out and cuts a promo. “Some people like me, some people don’t. Corny joke. The haters and fans motivate me.” Same old sh*t.
The good news out of this is that Cena said that he would be back on Smackdown. Hopefully this will lead to a lot more attention being put on Smackdown and it actually being used as a real show. Anything that cuts down on the number of obnoxious repeat-matches/segments from Raw to Smackdown is a good thing in my book.
Then Sandow comes out and says that his knowledge of medicine tells him that Cena is clearly more hurt than he is letting on, and therefore Cena is weak. He teases cashing in, then assaults Cena, completely destroying his injured arm, then announcing his cash-in.

WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH: John Cena(c) vs. Damien Sandow- 7.5/10
So Damien Sandow, the smartest guy in the world, decided to let Cena have an entire commercial break to recover, rather than just roll him in the ring and start the match?
Yes, the match was great. That being said… (and keep in mind that this is coming from a big Cena fan)
I thought that putting Dragon over Cena clean at Summer Slam meant that WWE had learned their lesson, but apparently not. They still seem to have this counter-productive, almost self-destructive need to protect John Cena.
WHY?!
We all know he is a star. You have spent most of the least eight years telling us this! He has won more WWE Title’s than anyone else, and has won more world titles than anyone other than Ric Flair (and he will almost certainly pass Flair by the time he retires). He has competed for a World Title at Wrestlemania every single year since his first world title aside from one year… and he still main evented that Mania against The Rock!
He has beaten almost every damn star you’ve had in the last ten years! He’s beaten Orton and Jericho and Angle and Mysterio. He’s beaten Kane and Lashley. He’s beaten Del Rio and Mark Henry and Dolph Ziggler. He has beaten HBK, Triple H, Batista, and The Rock at Wrestlemania! He’s beaten Big Show at Mania. You made Umaga a huge monster, then you fed him to Cena. You made Ryback an ever bigger monster, and then you fed him to Cena, too. He beat Edge in Edge’s match in Edge’s hometown! HE’S BEATEN BROCK LESNAR!
He almost always comes back from his injuries MONTHS before he is projected to. He’s won the Royal Rumble twice, he’s won Money in the Bank, and he always wins your major worked awards. WE GET THAT HE IS A F*CKING STAR! LOSING A MATCH THAT HE WASN’T PREPARED FOR AND HAD HIS ALREADY INJURED ARM OBLITERATED RIGHT BEFOREHAND WILL NOT HURT HIM IN THE F*CKING SLIGHTEST!
All that WWE did here is reinforce the feeling among fans that Cena will never lose (and each time they do this it turns more and more people who didn’t really have a problem with him against him), and more importantly, they COMPLETELY KILLED DAMIEN SANDOW! HE LOST TO A ONE-ARMED MAN WHO WASN’T PREPARED FOR THE MATCH AND WHO HE JUMPED BEFORE THE MATCH STARTED! HOW THE F*CK IS ANYONE EVER SUPPOSED TO TAKE HIM AS A CREDIBLE THREAT ANYMORE!


Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Damien Sandow… LAMEST AND MOST POINTLESS MONEY IN THE BANK WINNER EVER!

SHIELD PROMO- great

WWE UNITED STATES TITLE MATCH: Dean Amrbose(c) (w/the Shield) vs. Big E. Langston- no rating. Great segment.
Like Rollins said in his promo, they take it “back to basics” by ganging up on Big E., resulting in a DQ win for Langston. They set up for the Triple Powerbomb, but the Usos make the save, and Brad Maddox comes out to make a six man tag team match.

THE USOS & BIG E. LANGSTON vs. THE SHIELD- 6/10
Great finishing sequence

SHAWN MICHAELS & DANIEL BRYAN SEGMENT- awesome. HBK starts off being brutally honest and gets progressively more angry at Dragon for not accepting his apology until he finally yells at him. Dragon then turns the handshake into a Yes Lock! Awesome segment.

THE WYATT FAMILY ATTACKS DRAGON- I’m confused. How do the Wyatt’s take over the TV feed?
I hope this means we’ll get The Wyatt Family vs. Team Hell No next week.

HANDICAP MATCH: 3MB vs. Los Matadores (w/El Torito)-
I was about to get super-pissed that we were getting this match YET AGAIN… but then Heath Slater came out carrying a giant butterfly net and I popped huge. This is much better than that rope Drew was supposed to bring a few weeks ago! To make things even better, when Lawler calls them out for bringing a butterfly net to the ring, JBL the Texan cowboy, corrects him, proclaiming “that’s a bull-catcher if I’ve ever seen one, King!” Michael Cole was incredulous, but JBL insisted that he used to use them all the time back home in Texas to catch little bulls! FANTASTIC!

Later in the match, Lawler says “I hope you don’t think that little butterfly net is going to hold El Torito.” You know, after twenty years of announcing, you would think Lawler would have learned that the joke is a lot funnier if you don’t explain it.

Slater’s attempt to catch El Torito in the net led to hilarious antics.

THE BELLA TWINS vs. AJ LEE & TAMINA- 2.5/10
Now that Dragon will likely be out of the title picture for a bit, Brie’s push ends, too, so the Bellas give the win back to AJ & Tamina on their way down.

KANE vs. THE MIZ- good squash. Kane for the win!

KANE CALLS OUT STEPH- out of nowhere, Kane decides to pledge himself to loyally do whatever is best for business. Hopefully between the Wyatts attacking Dragon right after he put HBK and the Yes Lock and this seemingly random turn of events, it will be revealed that this is Kane “following the buzzards” and he is only doing this to get close to the Wyatts.
Kane also took his mask off and handed it to Steph for some random symbolism. Major props to Steph for her body language and facials here. You could really tell that she didn’t expect this, but that she recognizes it for the major resource that it is, and that she is determined to use it in whatever way she and Hunter deem “best for business.”

BIG SHOW IS TRYING TO SUE THE WWE- I’m confused. Is Otunga WWE’s lawyer or Big Show’s lawyer?

CM PUNK PROMO- Bad, but it was the fault of the bookers, not Punk. Punk says that now that he has beaten Heyman, all he has left to do is beat Ryback… except he beat Ryback clean last night in a Hell in a Cell match, so why the hell is this happening?

STREET FIGHT: Ryback vs. CM Punk- 6/10
WAY too short. Seriously. Ryback just lost clean in under ten minutes.
After the match the Wyatts jump Punk, and like with the attack on Dragon, Wyatt says that “the devil made me do it.”

CODY RHODES & GOLDUST vs. THE REAL AMERICANS (w/Zeb Coulter)- 5.75/10
Pretty good match. The Real Americans go over the tag champs clean.

DEL RIO PROMO- he wants a rematch. He says that Cena’s injured arm is a target. Yeah… Cena’s one-armed victory tonight pretty much kills this.

SUMMER RAE (w/Fandango) vs. NATALYA (w/The Great Khali & Hornswoggle)- 4/10
Unfortunately Summer Rae is in her dancing attire and not her NXT attire.
So Summer Rae is wrestling cleanly, although heelishly. Fandango gets up on the apron to kiss her, and Hornsowggle, totally un provoked, tries to pull him off. Fandango retaliates, tossing Hornswoggle, so Khali comes over and takes out Fandango. This distracts Summer Rae, and the distractions allows Nattie to lock in the Sharpshooter. WHY THE BABYFACES ACTING LIKE HEELS?!
A very good showing for Summer Rae in the ring, though. I was quite surprised that they gave this as much time as they did. Summer Rae should have gone over, though.

CLOSING SEGMENT- eh.
The heels cut promos. Big Show shows up. The Shield beats him up until the Rhodes brothers and the Usos make the save.. The Shield brawls with everyone while Show sends the McMahons fleeing. He cuts a promo saying he is going to sue WWE for millions of dollars. Orton hits him the back of the head with the title, but Show recovers and knocks Randy out. Raw ends with Show in the middle of the ring and Hunter looking on angrily.
We’ve seen Show crash Raw every single week at this point. I don’t care anymore. Something new needs to happen. The lawsuit was that… so why do this segment. All it does is give us something repetitive.

Overall, a good Raw, aside from some absolutely baffling (and in some cases, horrible) booking decisions.

STUPID ANNOUNCER QUOTES:
1. Lawler “John has let Damien Sandow goad him into this”
No he didn’t! This is a Money in the Bank cash-in. Cena doesn’t have a choice! If he could refuse the match, it would completely defeat the purpose of the gimmick!

[KILLdozer]

Aside from the moment that's had me saying "Fuck this company.", and just the hornswaggle golfballism for no reason other than because, with Summer Rae' s loss, shit was great. Who needed it more? Natalya, who hangs with fools, who should be able to get the win, or Summer Rae, who in her first singles match would get the major upset? Don't know who booked that one.

Kane' s been brainwashed it seems, as to me, Wyatt obviously meant Hhh by "The Devil". Heyman could fit due to the Punk thing, but we already know H does NOT think Punk is best for business either. You could be right though, Kane could be just playing an elaborate mind game scheme, not out of character at all. Think about it though...something between Wyatt and the Regime...if Kanes been served kool aid by him....of course he offers his power to Stephanie. I'd say it's more a deal though than forced hands...one thing about cult leader types...You gotta know the right moves to gain recognition and notoriety for yourself and actions , along with words also...it's all about playing every card right, to come out just how you want in the end. What better way? I was waiting for her to bring Kane out to neutralize Big Show, though.

So much intrigue, so much suspense!

[KILLdozer]

And yea, Ryback looked like an idiot jerk tapping just like that...so Cena and everyone else who's ever fought out of it, can make it through the A Vice longer than Ryback "The Monster".

Get that shit out my face.

Another one too though, same thing on the match to begin with! He got his hands on Heyman and that's that. Beat Ryback too which I never thought of. It's OVER now from that standpoint. My exact word though when it was announced: "Why? Why? He already got hold of Heyman, majorly, live, on PPV. What else is there?

[Big Red Machine]

Aside from the moment that's had me saying "f**k this company.", and just the hornswaggle golfballism for no reason other than because, with Summer Rae' s loss, s**t was great. Who needed it more? Natalya, who hangs with fools, who should be able to get the win, or Summer Rae, who in her first singles match would get the major upset? Don't know who booked that one.

Kane' s been brainwashed it seems, as to me, Wyatt obviously meant Hhh by "The Devil". Heyman could fit due to the Punk thing, but we already know H does NOT think Punk is best for business either. You could be right though, Kane could be just playing an elaborate mind game scheme, not out of character at all. Think about it though...something between Wyatt and the Regime...if Kanes been served kool aid by him....of course he offers his power to Stephanie. I'd say it's more a deal though than forced hands...one thing about cult leader types...You gotta know the right moves to gain recognition and notoriety for yourself and actions , along with words also...it's all about playing every card right, to come out just how you want in the end. What better way? I was waiting for her to bring Kane out to neutralize Big Show, though.

So much intrigue, so much suspense!

You're thinking the Wyatt's brainwashed Kane after dragging him off at Summer Slam? Could be. Wyatt working with McMahon-Helmsley Regime is interesting, though I assume that the must be playing his own game because anything else would seem out of character.

[Big Red Machine]

Another one too though, same thing on the match to begin with! He got his hands on Heyman and that's that. Beat Ryback too which I never thought of. It's OVER now from that standpoint. My exact word though when it was announced: "Why? Why? He already got hold of Heyman, majorly, live, on PPV. What else is there?

The next step (if you are going to continue the feud) is Ryback wanting to get revenge on Punk, but you should at least set that up with an angle rather than just throw the match out there and blow it off in one night. This really felt like an excuse to have Punk out in the ring so the Wyatts could attack him, but having Punk just cut a promo before being jumped would have both saved you time and saved face for Ryback.

[cero2k]

THE BELLA TWINS vs. AJ LEE & TAMINA- 2.5/10
Now that Dragon will likely be out of the title picture for a bit, Brie’s push ends, too, so the Bellas give the win back to AJ & Tamina on their way down.

not necessarily, it's the Survivor Series vaccum that sometimes hides pushes in order to get those stupid 5-on-5 matches. I'm expecting a Total Divas vs Wrestler Divas SS match with Brie and AJ as captains.

Kane also took his mask off and handed it to Steph for some random symbolism. Major props to Steph for her body language and facials here. You could really tell that she didn’t expect this, but that she recognizes it for the major resource that it is, and that she is determined to use it in whatever way she and Hunter deem “best for business.”

this! her face of triumph was great

CODY RHODES & GOLDUST vs. THE REAL AMERICANS (w/Zeb Coulter)- 5.75/10
Pretty good match. The Real Americans go over the tag champs clean.

i'm wondering if we're getting a title shot at SS or are the brotherhood going in the big SS match of that night.

CLOSING SEGMENT- eh.
The heels cut promos. Big Show shows up. The Shield beats him up until the Rhodes brothers and the Usos make the save.. The Shield brawls with everyone while Show sends the McMahons fleeing. He cuts a promo saying he is going to sue WWE for millions of dollars. Orton hits him the back of the head with the title, but Show recovers and knocks Randy out. Raw ends with Show in the middle of the ring and Hunter looking on angrily.
We’ve seen Show crash Raw every single week at this point. I don’t care anymore. Something new needs to happen. The lawsuit was that… so why do this segment. All it does is give us something repetitive.

i got sooo pissed off at this ending. I really don't know why they insists on having Big Show be the hero of the night, and why doesn't it have to end up in lawsuits, i fucking hate when they do lawsuit stories in wrestling! If i wanted to see problems solved by a judge, i would tune in to Judge Judy and not wrestling! That being said, i now imaginen that Vince will come back and say, da fuck are you doing Hunter, we're getting sued blah blah. Vince vs Hunter feud.

[Big Red Machine]

THE BELLA TWINS vs. AJ LEE & TAMINA- 2.5/10
Now that Dragon will likely be out of the title picture for a bit, Brie’s push ends, too, so the Bellas give the win back to AJ & Tamina on their way down.

not necessarily, it's the Survivor Series vaccum that sometimes hides pushes in order to get those stupid 5-on-5 matches. I'm expecting a Total Divas vs Wrestler Divas SS match with Brie and AJ as captains.

Yes, but if AJ's team wins, that would be Brie losing on her way down (or if someone like Nattie or Naomi eliminates AJ and is the sole Survivor, it will be the start of her push, and still the downswing of Brie's).

CODY RHODES & GOLDUST vs. THE REAL AMERICANS (w/Zeb Coulter)- 5.75/10
Pretty good match. The Real Americans go over the tag champs clean.

i'm wondering if we're getting a title shot at SS or are the brotherhood going in the big SS match of that night.

Obviously it depends on what the Survivor Series match is, but if it is Babyfaces vs. The Authority (which is needs to be in order t feel big- maybe with Show's job on the line?) it would feel wrong to not include the the Rhodes Brothers on the babyface team. I see them, Dragon, Show, & either Miz or Punk vs. Shield, Orton & Kane (or maybe the Wyatts get worked in instead of Orton & Ambrose while Orton defends against someone (maybe a babyface that the Authority respects, like Ziggler) and Ambrose defends against Big E.

CLOSING SEGMENT- eh.
The heels cut promos. Big Show shows up. The Shield beats him up until the Rhodes brothers and the Usos make the save.. The Shield brawls with everyone while Show sends the McMahons fleeing. He cuts a promo saying he is going to sue WWE for millions of dollars. Orton hits him the back of the head with the title, but Show recovers and knocks Randy out. Raw ends with Show in the middle of the ring and Hunter looking on angrily.
We’ve seen Show crash Raw every single week at this point. I don’t care anymore. Something new needs to happen. The lawsuit was that… so why do this segment. All it does is give us something repetitive.

i got sooo pissed off at this ending. I really don't know why they insists on having Big Show be the hero of the night, and why doesn't it have to end up in lawsuits, i f***ing hate when they do lawsuit stories in wrestling! If i wanted to see problems solved by a judge, i would tune in to Judge Judy and not wrestling! That being said, i now imaginen that Vince will come back and say, da f**k are you doing Hunter, we're getting sued blah blah. Vince vs Hunter feud.

Agreed. Lawsuits ( and cops) are tools that heels use because they don't want to fight the babyface fairly. Stuff like Vince getting Austin arrested all the time or the way I booked Del Rio in the lead up to his Mania match with Rey in my fantasy booking. Babyfaces don't use lawsuits!