BRM Reviews the 9/26/2013 Impact (bad)

[Big Red Machine]

OPENING SEGMENT- They really need to have Knux stop calling Brooke a ho. Bully is supposed to be the heel here, but you can’t blame then man for standing up for his girl’s honor. Add in the fact that he is at a 3-on-1 disadvantage and that two of those guys are untalented chumps who are only employed because of who their daddies are, and Bully is starting to look way too much like a babyface.

EY & JOSEPH PARK BACKSTAGE- Good
Eric stops Joseph from shaving with a cheap razor because he might cut himself and turn into Abyss.

GAIL KIM & BRO-MANS vs. ODB, ERIC YOUNG, & JOSEPH PARK- 1/10
So apparently this is an intergender match, meaning that the men and women can fight each other… although we all know that SPIKE TV won’t allow male-on-female violence, so why would TNA book it?
This did give me a great idea for an angle for Joseph Park, though. If you have him Abyss out on PPV and chokeslam a chick, you could then have Joseph constantly apologizing to her and trying to get help for his Abyssing-up problem (meanwhile feuding with said chick’s boyfriend or something).
The only offense that Gail took all match was when ODB threw her out of the ring onto the ramp, and she never got up from it.
One thing I did like in this match was the stop where Robbie E. went to punch ODB but then stopped and said “YOU WERE SCARED!” Props to Robbie for thinking up a way to get heat on ODB in a match where he wasn’t allowed to touch her.
AUSTIN ARIES BACKSTAGE INTERVIEW- I HATE when TNA does these stupid little segments where the camera guy asks someone a question, and that person then wastes time talking before saying “I’m going to go out to the ring and give you an answer.” Either answer the question right here, or have the guy just cut an in-ring promo and don’t do the backstage interview. It wastes valuable wrestling time!

HOGAN PROMO- so after seeing everything that went down last week, Hogan has decided to wait an entire week before trying to fix things. THIS is the guy running the show.

AUSTIN ARIES & KENNY KING SEGMENT- Great…. Aside from Aries getting up after the sucker punch. Just have Kenny hit Aries with the mic and beat him down, then have a very angry Aries call King out next week. King refuses to come out, saying he has already hopped Aries’ ass and he doesn’t need to do so again, but some authority figure forces him into a match for the next week. Have Kenny intentionally get DQed in that match, and then, on the go-home show, have an authority figure make a match for BFG where if Kenny intentionally gets himself DQed or counted out or whatever, he will be fired. It is simple booking and sets up a match for BFG that everyone wants to see.

AUSTIN ARIES vs. KENNY KING- 5.5/.10
Apparently Austin Aries has booking power.

ARIES & SABIN SEGMENT- decent

MEM BACKSTAGE- Sting tells Magnus that he needs to focus on Aces & Eights now instead of E.G.O. because they are so close to accomplishing their reason d’etre of eliminating Aces & Eights from TNA… and then I thought about it and said “what the hell have you guys really done to accomplish this goal?”
They forced Devon out of the company, but all that did was create dissension within the group… and that is only because Bully Ray is being a complete and total idiot and failure of a leader. The same problem exists in Hogan’s master plan to have Anderson and Bully fight each other. Yeah, it got Anderson out of the group… but Knux, Garrett, and Wes helped Bully do that, and the only reason that there was any dissension after that was because Bully was an idiot and gave all of the credit to Tessmacher. The babyfaces aren’t the ones doing anything here. They haven’t created some genius plan that makes the heels own egos cause problems and cause them to fight each other. The real cause of Aces & Eights falling apart has been Bully heaping unpredictably ridiculous amounts of love on Tito and Tessmacher at the expense of everyone else.

HULK HOGAN PROMO- A SH*TTY, POINTLESS WASTE OF TIME!
Hulk reminds us that he is “responsible for the day-to-day operations of this TV program.” Which makes all of the times that he has waited until next Thursday to try to resolve a situation idiotic. Then Hulk says that airing your dirty laundry in the ring is “something that should never ever happened in this business.” This is coming from a man who spent MONTHS using his national wrestling show as a platform to air his family’s dirty laundry in public, as it related to his daughter’s love life… and that was LESS THAT A YEAR AGO!
Then, to but the ass-cherry on top of this sh*t sandwich of a segment, it turns out that Hulk has come out to the ring to tell us that later tonight he will come out to the ring again and try to resolve the dispute between AJ and Dixie.
WHAT?!
Why not just do it right now?! Seriously! What the f*ck was the point of this segment? All it did was tell us crap that we already knew!

Tenay keeps hyping this six man tag match between Aces & Eights and the MEM by saying “will Aces & Eights lose another member?” but there has been no build to this at all! There are no stips or anything in place that would make this happen, so why is it even being discussed as a possibility?

AJ STYLES PROMO- holy sh*t was that AJ Styles? He looked a lot more like 2008-2009 Tyler Black.

TNA X-DIVISION TITLE MATCH: Manik(c) vs. Chris Sabin (w/Velvet Sky)- 3/10
I know that this is a nitpick, but it seems like there are more effective ways to play possum than to roll to the outside and hide by Velvet and look like your are going to walk to the back in the hopes that your opponent will out to you. Something like playing possum in the ring but saying that you can still go, then when the other guy comes in for the kill, you go for a small package.
Much less of a nitpick is that the fact that Sabin playing possum didn’t even matter in the match. It was just a spot early on, but they didn’t make a big deal of it (or of using Vevet as a human shield at that point in the match), so why do it. What they did towards the finish was much more effective heel stuff. The pin looked like crap as it was clear that Manik’s entire leg was underneath Sabin. Sabin beats Manik down after the match, then Austin Aries makes the save.
I think it would have been better to just not do the earlier segment with Aries and Sabin and have Jeff Hardy make the save again to set up a three-way match for the X-Division title between these guys.
Jeff beat the champ clean so he deserves a title shot. Sabin is being a jerk and thinks that he made the X-Division, so he would want to hold the title to prove that, and Manik lost his challenge match against Jeff Hardy last week so Manik he has something to prove (in his own mind, at least) against Jeff, and he wants revenge on Sabin for jumping him. I’d have Jeff just play the straight babyface here and have Manik thanks Jeff for saving him, but ask him to stay out of his business in the future because he can take care of himself and he doesn’t need Jeff Hardy watching his back. You have Manik go over at BFG to retain and have Sabin claim that Jeff stole his pin so he now wants revenge on Jeff. They would feud until Genesis, which would hopefully help move Sabin up the card more.

ACES & EIGHTS BACKSTAGE- more talk about how tonight’s match could make them lose another member. WHY?

KURT WILL RETURN AT BFG- I hope this doesn’t set Kurt’s rehab back.

E.G.O. PROMO- eh

At this point I would just like to point out that last week Bobby Roode hit Magnus in the back with a baseball bat. THIS EVENT WAS NOT MENTIONED ONCE ON THIS ENTIRE SHOW!

ACES & EIGHTS vs. THE MAIN EVENT MAFIA- 3.5/10
Apparently the “if Aces & Eights lose, they lose a member” stip was added by Bully Ray earlier tonight. Maybe they should have mentioned that at some point, or added it to the graphic or something.
Some of the babyface in peril stuff was good, but this was just a failure of booking. Aces & Eights seem like they areabout to start feuding with Bully… so they get make to look like chumps for losing cleanly despite having a 3-on-2 advantage.
E.G.O. said that they wanted to shake Magnus’ confidence by making him lose again… well his team won anyway, so not only did they fail in their goal, but their attack had no effect on the outcome of the match.

BULLY RAY DEMANDS THAT WES RESIGN FROM ACES & EIGHTS- Wes refuses. Bully then orders Knux and Garrett to beat him up, but they won’t do it… but they will stand there and watch Bully beat him up. This was as boring was watching paint dry, but at least I had Tessmacher to look at.


HOGAN, AJ, & DIXIE SEGMENT- bad
Dixie was getting loud boos… but every time we saw them, the crowd appeared to be sitting on their hands and not making any noise at all. Hooray for the magic of television.
Hogan offers AJ a contract but Dixie rips it up kicks AJ out of the building. Then she starts to talk about being the 1% and how the 99% depend on her to create their jobs. Because we all know that its always a good idea to mix wrestling and politics.
She also says that she and Hogan both know the hard decisions that it takes to take a company to the next level. It that’s true, then why haven’t you done so already? You have been kayfabe working together for over two and a half years!
So the main event for Bound For Glory is AJ Styles vs. Bully Ray for the TNA World Heavyweight Title… and the angle that closes the show is Dixie Carter and Hulk Hogan. The angle in the semi-main event spot involved Bully Ray feuding with members of his own stable. TNA has THREE MORE WEEKS until Bound For Glory. So far they have only announced ONE F*CKING MATCH, and they have done a completely atrocious job of hyping that match up.
No one has any idea where the BFG card is going. So far the only matches we can really glean are Sabin vs. Manik and Bro-Mans vs. Joseph Park & EY. So the feud between the comedy jobber tag team and the comedy babyface tag team has gotten more screen time than whatever the hell the tag champs are doing. TNA really needs to get their act together FAST.

Another bad show from TNA. I have a scary feeling that BFG might turn into an unmitigated disaster, at least in terms of hype and card-construction.

[cero2k]

OPENING SEGMENT- They really need to have Knux stop calling Brooke a ho. Bully is supposed to be the heel here, but you can’t blame then man for standing up for his girl’s honor. Add in the fact that he is at a 3-on-1 disadvantage and that two of those guys are untalented chumps who are only employed because of who their daddies are, and Bully is starting to look way too much like a babyface.

they're all heels, why can't Knux call a heel Tess a ho? that doesn't make him any less heel or face, same as Ray, defending his chick doesn't make him a face. Cena used to call Lita a Ho for soooo long and Edge would constantly defend her honor. alignments never changed there.

[Big Red Machine]

OPENING SEGMENT- They really need to have Knux stop calling Brooke a ho. Bully is supposed to be the heel here, but you can’t blame then man for standing up for his girl’s honor. Add in the fact that he is at a 3-on-1 disadvantage and that two of those guys are untalented chumps who are only employed because of who their daddies are, and Bully is starting to look way too much like a babyface.

they're all heels, why can't Knux call a heel Tess a ho? that doesn't make him any less heel or face, same as Ray, defending his chick doesn't make him a face. Cena used to call Lita a Ho for soooo long and Edge would constantly defend her honor. alignments never changed there.

Edge & Lita were a different story because had done something to deserve being called a ho and she and Edge were so hated by the fans for their legitimate horrible betrayal of a super-popular guy.

[cero2k]

OPENING SEGMENT- They really need to have Knux stop calling Brooke a ho. Bully is supposed to be the heel here, but you can’t blame then man for standing up for his girl’s honor. Add in the fact that he is at a 3-on-1 disadvantage and that two of those guys are untalented chumps who are only employed because of who their daddies are, and Bully is starting to look way too much like a babyface.

they're all heels, why can't Knux call a heel Tess a ho? that doesn't make him any less heel or face, same as Ray, defending his chick doesn't make him a face. Cena used to call Lita a Ho for soooo long and Edge would constantly defend her honor. alignments never changed there.

Edge & Lita were a different story because had done something to deserve being called a ho and she and Edge were so hated by the fans for their legitimate horrible betrayal of a super-popular guy.

and tess wears assless chaps and hooked up with a guy that was technically still married. sounds like a ho.
Ray is the most hated guy in the company and betrayed the super baby face GM

yeap, sounds like the same thing

[Big Red Machine]

they're all heels, why can't Knux call a heel Tess a ho? that doesn't make him any less heel or face, same as Ray, defending his chick doesn't make him a face. Cena used to call Lita a Ho for soooo long and Edge would constantly defend her honor. alignments never changed there.

Edge & Lita were a different story because had done something to deserve being called a ho and she and Edge were so hated by the fans for their legitimate horrible betrayal of a super-popular guy.

and tess wears assless chaps and hooked up with a guy that was technically still married. sounds like a ho.
Ray is the most hated guy in the company and betrayed the super baby face GM

yeap, sounds like the same thing

Except that the Matt-Lita-Edge thing was legit, so no matter what Edge or Lita did, they would not possibly be cheered.

[Nic/Phreak]

whose E.G.O

[Big Red Machine]

whose E.G.O

Kaz, Daniels, & Roode.