BRM Reviews the 8/9/2013 Smackdown

[Big Red Machine]

RANDY ORTON vs. ROB VAN DAM- 7/10
Well... this show is off to a great start. What an opener!

MIZ TV, WITH AJ & BIG E. LANGSTON- THIS SEGMENT WAS COMPLETELY ASS-BACKWARDS!
Yeah, Miz really pissed me off here. AJ announces to the whole world that Big E. is 1000% in the Friend Zone, which seems to be contrary to what Big E. wants... and Miz starts to tease AJ about them being in a relationship? Having been in Big E.'s place before (well... without the chick being crazy and getting around a lot... well she turned out to be a bit less stable than we all thought, but I didn't know that at the time), I'm sure that there is nothing that Big E. wanted to do more than punch Miz in the face, both to stand up for AJ because he loves her, to try and impress AJ to get her to maybe see him differently, and because being teased about a relationship that you want badly but it seems like it won't happen... especially because you've basically been publicly Friend-Zoned... makes you feel like sh*t inside. All this segment did was make me feel a lot of sympathy for Big E. Not if this just shined through more because of my personal experience or if others felt the same way, but I can't imagine that I am alone in this feeling.

Miz and AJ saying that AJ and Kane had a relationship also pissed me off. THEY DIDN'T! AJ kissed Kane once and Kane wasn't happy about it! That's not a relationship! That's sexual assault! A relationship requires mutual consent! Miz saying that AJ was the problem in her relationship with Dragon goes 100% against kayfabe, which also really pissed me off. If you are writing a segment for ANY character which talks about his or her history, DO SOME DAMN RESEARCH FIRST! It is completely unacceptable to not remember an important detail of one of the company's top angles from just last year!

Then Dolph Ziggler came out and acted like a ridiculously douchy heel, closely followed Kaitlyn, who was also acting kind of heelish. This really annoyed me. They all start arguing, then Miz says "I'm the host of Summer Slam, therefore I can book matches," books AJ & Big E. vs. Dolph & Kaitlyn. Well Miz, if you can book matches, shouldn't you be booking yourself onto the card? You are a babyface after all, which means that the fans theoretically want to see you wrestle.
Kaitlyn then tells AJ "I can't wait to slap the crazy right off of your face" and AJ waits until the end of the sentence to snap and jump Kaitlyn rather than reacting right at the word crazy. Big E. manages to knock Ziggler down with just one punch, then goes to pull Kaitlyn off of AJ. After he does this, Ziggler runs up and hits him with a Zig-Zag. So Dolph attacked Big E. from behind while Big E. was distracted pulling an assailant off of the woman that he loves... and we are supposed to root for Dolph? WTF?!

VICKIE & DEL RIO BACKSTAGE- good
They have actually done a fantastic job of turning Vickie babyface. She still feels like the same character. She has just started to develop antagonistic relationships with the heels in organic ways. Great stuff.

KOFI KINGSTON vs. FANDANGO (w/Summer Rae)- 4.5/10
Summer Rae is a FANTASTIC valet. She is easily the best non-wrestler of the year so far.

DRAGON PROMO- decent

DANIEL BRYAN vs. WADE BARRETT- 4/10
I thought that Wade tapped way too quickly, but otherwise a fun little match.

DAMIEN SANDOW PROMO- eh. This would have been a lot better if he had explained why this briefcase was new and improved... like some comment about it now being watertight.

HANDICAP MATCH: 3MB vs. Kane- this was disappointing. I was expecting more chokeslams.

BRAY WYATT PROMO- I have nothing even resembling the slightest idea of what he was talking about.

BROCK LESNAR PROMO- I can't help but thinking that his might well have been the promo of the year IF ONLY BROCK HAD ACTUALLY SHOWED SOME EMOTION!

CHRISTIAN vs. ALBERTO DEL RIO- 6.75/10
Did we just get this finish a few weeks ago on Raw?

SANDOW & CODY STUFF AFTERWARDS- yeah... this reeks of stalling until the PPV because they have no idea what to do until then.

Overall, a pretty good show, aside from the Miz TV segment.

[DevilWithin]

Yea, I just can't stand Miz as of late...Speaking of...Why did that Motha fuck get a damn near video package last night before Miz Tv? Really needed at all? All that production shit they did for him at one point before a commercial. And You gotta think others feel the same way about Miz. Can't remember the last time he was in a match, AT ALL, he's nowheres near any titles, and lately he's done nothing but preshows and hosting. What's that say about what they think of his character or in ring work? The plans they had there, have completely fell through, for whatever reason.

[Big Red Machine]

Yea, I just can't stand Miz as of late...Speaking of...Why did that Motha f**k get a damn near video package last night before Miz Tv? Really needed at all? All that production s**t they did for him at one point before a commercial. And You gotta think others feel the same way about Miz. Can't remember the last time he was in a match, AT ALL, he's nowheres near any titles, and lately he's done nothing but preshows and hosting. What's that say about what they think of his character or in ring work? The plans they had there, have completely fell through, for whatever reason.

Agree 1000%. I guess he theoretically might be hurt, but I'd assume we would have heard about it.