ROH 07.11.13 Night of Hoopla Results

[cero2k]

ROH Night of Hoopla
July 11, 2013
Merrionette Park, Illinois
Estimated Attendance: 200-250
Source pwponderings.com

Scarlet is singing the House of Truth national anthem

Scarlet of course stripped. The referees are not in fact wearing pants.

Scarlet just spanked the referee

Edwards is chasing Scarlet and Selezyia with a camera

Three Way
Matt Taven def Eddie Edwards & Adam Cole

Edwards chopped Scarlet on the ass

Jimmy Jacobs came out to sing his new single but sang the Ballad of Lacey first

JAY LETHAL IS RIDING OUT IN A CART WITH SISTAH SHERRI

Jay was in his Black Machismo gear

Machismo def Delirious with the roll-up. What a twist! He asks Maria, who he calls Elizabeth, to marry him. She says OOOOOOO YEAH!

Pants off dance off time. Judge Jeff Jones officiating.

Scarlet, Selezyia, and Val Malone are participating in the contest.

Selezyia is giving out lap dances.

Davey Richards… Yes Davey Richards is out to interrupt. Richards is talking about what ROH is supposed to be about and it’s not dancing. He mentions names from the past. Richards… Is… Dancing. Richards smacked Selezyia on the ass.

Richards wins the pants off dance off. Out comes Silas Young. He asks,”what in the fuck shit was that?”

It’s a lumberjill match. A bunch of male wrestlers are dressed in drag. One of the jills kissed Silas.

Richards def Silas Young with the ankle lock by tap-out. Richards sang afterwards.

ROH World Tag Team Title Match?
reDRagon (Bobby Fish & Kyle O’Reilly) def Roderick Strong & Cheeseburger when Fish pins Cheeseburger after the kick to the head/brainbuster

Martini interviews “Satan.” Satan says QT Marshall would only get a job because he sold his soul to him. They take out Satan.

Inter-gender Six Person Tag Team Match
“Unbreakable” Michael Elgin, BJ Whitmer & MsChif def ACH, Tadarius Thomas & Athena when ELGIN SPITS GREEN MIST ON THOMAS. Bucklebomb and spinning power bomb for the win
MICHAEL ELGIN JUST DID THE WORM
ACH: I don’t want to be the oj Simpson of pro wrestling.
Elgin and MsChif make out.

[Big Red Machine]

ELGIN SPITS GREEN MIST ON THOMAS.

Huh... I guess he and MsChif were making out before the match, too.