BRM Reviews the 5/27/2013 Raw

[Big Red Machine]

OPENING SEGMENT- Cena proposes a 3 Stages of Hell match, with first a lumberjack match, then a tables match, then an ambulance match. Typical WWE gimmick match booking, where the gimmick matches have nothing to do with the angle. Also… I really don’t want to see Cena vs. Ryback in three straight matches.
Ryback then comes out and refers to himself as Satan. I have to admit… I didn’t see that coming on WWE TV. Heyman then comes out and challenges Cena to face Curtis Axel tonight.

ALBERTO DEL RIO (w/Ricardo Rodriguez) vs. BIG E LANGSTON (w/AJ Lee)- 5/10
Well… at least Big E didn’t lose clean. AJ the match, AJ and Big E argue.

KANE & DRAGON BACKSTAGE- good. So good, in fact, that I actually popped for them arguing. Bret’s appearance was good, and actually felt like it contributed to the segment, rather than just being a random cameo.

WWE US TITLE MATCH: Dean Ambrose(c) vs. Kofi Kingston- 6.25/10

WWE TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH: Seth Rollins & Roman Reigns(c) vs. Team Hell No- 7.25/10
GREAT! Especially the Dragon vs. Tyler parts.

SINGLES MATCH WITH THE MIZ AS SPECIAL GUEST REFEREE: Wade Barrett vs. Fandango (w/Summer Rae)- DUD!

JOHN CENA & TOMASSO CIAMPA BACKSTAGE- oh. That’s HBK.

POINTLESS FILLER MATCH WITH DANCING TEAM AND JOBBERS- pointless filler. Nattie gets “Happy Birthday” sung to her in her home town, but I’m sure she’d be happier if Khali’s barely coherent voice wasn’t the loudest one.

CHRIS JERICHO INTERVIEWS PAUL HEYMAN- awesome! Punk vs. Jericho at Payback!

THE BELLA TWINS vs. KAITLYN & NATALYA- 2/10
So Nattie gets beat… in her home town… ON HER BIRTHDAY! COME ON! Someone once asked Gabe why he booked Ruckus, an occasionally-used midcarder to challenge for the ROH World Title at Fuelling The Fire, and Gabe responded “It was his home market. Why not?” If ROH (and Gabe-booked ROH, no less), who was so careful about who won and who lost, was willing to change his booking a bit to give an occasionally-used midcarder a title match in his home market, then surely WWE, who generally doesn’t give a rat’s ass about wins and losses outside of title matches, can give Nattie a win in her home town… and especially on her damn birthday.

BRET HART & CURTIS AXEL BACKSTAGE- good.

RANDY ORTON & SHEAMUS vs. TEAM RHODES SCHOLARS- 6.5/10
Wow. I’m surprised that they led Cody and Sandow look so competitive.

JOHN CENA vs. CURTIS AXEL (w/Paul Heyman)- decent match, atrocious finish.
WHOA! SCOTT STEINE... wait… no. It’s just Ryback. Cena goes and get’s himself counted out because he just has the overwhelming curiosity to see if Ryback is inside the ambulance (rather than finish his match while waiting for Ryback to come to him).
This finish doesn’t help Axel at all because, for everything Heyman is saying about Axel to be justified, this needs to be a legitimate push. He has to be dominant in his matches. Not just win them. This finish gives him a hollow count-out win because he is just lucky that Ryback decided to show up and that Cena got so distracted because otherwise he would have lost. Cena looks goofy because of the way he opened the ambulance doors (I get that he was being cautious, but that doesn’t mean that it didn’t look goofy). Ryback attacks Cena from behind, but then runs away after getting the advantage, because now that he is a heel, he is automatically a coward (hooray for WWE logic). Oh… and I love how the ring announcer waited until the Ryback-Cena action was over before announcing the result of the match.

Overall, an okay Raw. There was a lot more action this week than usual, but the main event was nowhere close to what it needed to be and some of the other matches just felt pointless.

[Bob-O]

WWE TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH: Seth Rollins & Roman Reigns(c) vs. Team Hell No- 7.25/10
GREAT! Especially the Dragon vs. Tyler parts.

I marked out pretty hard for Hell No executing the Hart Attack, but nobody else seemed to notice the nod to Bret Hart on his night... I think Cole called it "a nice double team move".

WHOA! SCOTT STEINE... wait… no.

BIG POPPA PUMP... IS YOUR HOOK UP!...
I was waiting for it...

[Big Red Machine]

WWE TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH: Seth Rollins & Roman Reigns(c) vs. Team Hell No- 7.25/10
GREAT! Especially the Dragon vs. Tyler parts.

I marked out pretty hard for Hell No executing the Hart Attack, but nobody else seemed to notice the nod to Bret Hart on his night... I think Cole called it "a nice double team move".

I'll be honest. I didn't notice it.