BRM Reviews the 5/3/2013 Smackdown

[Big Red Machine]

RYBACK PROMO- good.

RYBACK vs. DANIEL BRYAN (w/Kane)- 7/10
GREAT opener!

ZACK RYDER vs. FANDANGO (w/Summer Rae)- 4/10

KAITLYN, KHALI, & NATALYA BACKSTAGE- DUD!
At this point I am entirely certain that the reason they did this segment was so people could laugh at Khali’s horrific English, which is just so wrong.

ZEB COULTER PROMO- good

RICARDO RODRIGUEZ (w/Alberto Del Rio) vs. ZEB COULTER (w/Jack Swagger)-GGGRRR! I don’t understand why they don’t just book the f*cking tag team match in the first place?

ALBERTO DEL RIO & RICARDO RODRIGUEZ vs. JACK SWAGGER & ZEB COULTER- yeah, we all saw this coming…

ALBERTO DEL RIO & RICARDO RODRIGUEZ vs. ZEB COULTER & JACK SWAGGER vs. DOLPH ZIGGLER & BIG E.LANGSTON (w/AJ Lee)- 5.75/10
The problem with doing a gimmick like a ladder match is that it makes Del Rio making the champ tap a lot less important to the build-up of the match than it should be because tapping doesn’t mean squat.

SHIELD PROMO- pretty good. Also, they jumped Dragon.

DAMIEN SANDOW vs. RANDY ORTON- 4/10
Way too one-sided. At least Sandow gets some heat afterwards by Jumping Randy while Big Show distracted him. Big Show’s promo was okay.

KANE PROMO- decent

ARM WRESTLING MATCH: Sheamus vs. Mark Henry- DUD!
Two guys have a non-wrestling challenge. One of them wins the first round fair and square. Then, during the second round, the other sucker punches him and attacks him. Standard pro wrestling stuff… EXCEPT THAT NORMALLY THE ONE DOING THE SUCKER PUNCHING IS THE HEEL!
Why am I supposed to root for Sheamus after he is acting this way?

KANE vs. DEAN AMBROSE (w/the Shield)- 6.25/10
Not good enough for a main event. Kane put up a good fight after the match. I liked The Shield holding up the tag belts after the match.

Not a very good episode of Smackdown. It really felt like they were spinning their wheels here. Nothing felt like it got moved forward aside from Hell No vs. Shield.


STUPID ANNOUNCER QUOTES:
1. Matthews- “I think you have to give the advantage in this triple threat tag team match to Ricardo and Alberto Del Rio”
WHAT?! Not only are they and Swagger’s team less fresh than Ziggler and Big E, but more importantly, ZIGGLER & BIG E ARE BOTH TRAINED WRESTLERS! Ricardo and Zeb are not!

[Nic]

RYBACK PROMO- good.

RYBACK vs. DANIEL BRYAN (w/Kane)- 7/10
GREAT opener!

ZACK RYDER vs. FANDANGO (w/Summer Rae)- 4/10

KAITLYN, KHALI, & NATALYA BACKSTAGE- DUD!
At this point I am entirely certain that the reason they did this segment was so people could laugh at Khali’s horrific English, which is just so wrong.

ZEB COULTER PROMO- good

RICARDO RODRIGUEZ (w/Alberto Del Rio) vs. ZEB COULTER (w/Jack Swagger)-GGGRRR! I don’t understand why they don’t just book the f*cking tag team match in the first place?

ALBERTO DEL RIO & RICARDO RODRIGUEZ vs. JACK SWAGGER & ZEB COULTER- yeah, we all saw this coming…

ALBERTO DEL RIO & RICARDO RODRIGUEZ vs. ZEB COULTER & JACK SWAGGER vs. DOLPH ZIGGLER & BIG E.LANGSTON (w/AJ Lee)- 5.75/10
The problem with doing a gimmick like a ladder match is that it makes Del Rio making the champ tap a lot less important to the build-up of the match than it should be because tapping doesn’t mean squat.

SHIELD PROMO- pretty good. Also, they jumped Dragon.

DAMIEN SANDOW vs. RANDY ORTON- 4/10
Way too one-sided. At least Sandow gets some heat afterwards by Jumping Randy while Big Show distracted him. Big Show’s promo was okay.

KANE PROMO- decent

ARM WRESTLING MATCH: Sheamus vs. Mark Henry- DUD!
Two guys have a non-wrestling challenge. One of them wins the first round fair and square. Then, during the second round, the other sucker punches him and attacks him. Standard pro wrestling stuff… EXCEPT THAT NORMALLY THE ONE DOING THE SUCKER PUNCHING IS THE HEEL!
Why am I supposed to root for Sheamus after he is acting this way?

KANE vs. DEAN AMBROSE (w/the Shield)- 6.25/10
Not good enough for a main event. Kane put up a good fight after the match. I liked The Shield holding up the tag belts after the match.

Not a very good episode of Smackdown. It really felt like they were spinning their wheels here. Nothing felt like it got moved forward aside from Hell No vs. Shield.


STUPID ANNOUNCER QUOTES:
1. Matthews- “I think you have to give the advantage in this triple threat tag team match to Ricardo and Alberto Del Rio”
WHAT?! Not only are they and Swagger’s team less fresh than Ziggler and Big E, but more importantly, ZIGGLER & BIG E ARE BOTH TRAINED WRESTLERS! Ricardo and Zeb are not!

I thought Ricardo was a trained wrestler ? as he's been (or was) wrestling under a mask at live shows against sin cara

[cero2k]

I thought Ricardo was a trained wrestler ? as he's been (or was) wrestling under a mask at live shows against sin cara

he is, used to wrestle under the Chimeara mask in the indies, but i want to think BRM is thinking in kayfabe terms

[Nic]

ahh yeah I forget the kayfabe stuff lol "Wrestlings Still Real To Me Damnit"

[Big Red Machine]

ahh yeah I forget the kayfabe stuff lol "Wrestlings Still Real To Me Damnit"

Doesn't need to be real to me. It just needs to be treated as if it is real for the duration of the show.

[Nic]

ahh yeah I forget the kayfabe stuff lol "Wrestlings Still Real To Me Damnit"

Doesn't need to be real to me. It just needs to be treated as if it is real for the duration of the show.

lol I really like it that way too...but i like the absurb stuff