BRM Reviews the 4/15/2013 Raw

[Big Red Machine]

HANDICAP MATCH: Randy Orton & Sheamus vs. Big Show- 4/10
Why the hell should I watch Smackdown if you are just going to do the same damn thing on Raw? Yeah there was a pin rather than a count-out this time, but we learned the same thing, which is that Big Show can’t beat Orton and Sheamus in a handicap match.

RECAP OF SMACKDOWN AND 3MB BACKSTAGE PROMO- waste of time.
What is the point of recapping the events of Smackdown and having 3MB tell us they are going to go out to the ring and call out the Shield if, when we come back after the commercial, they are in the ring recapping the evens of Smackdown and calling out the Sheild?

3MB CALL OUT THE SHIELD-
THAT’S NOT THE SHIELD AT ALL!
Props to Heath Slater for his selling.

PAUL HEYMAN PROMO ON BEHALF OF BROCK LESNAR- DUD!
The way Paul E. built everything up it really felt like a different match type would have worked better (perhaps Last Man Standing or Hell in a Cell). Furthermore, I have almost no desire to see Lesnar vs. Triple H again. The silver lining of this cloud, though, is that WWE seems to have realized how big of a mistake it was to have Triple H beat Brock at Mania and they are rushing to repair the damage.

WWE UNITED STATES TITLE MATCH: Antonio Cesaro(c) vs. Kofi Kingston- 5.5/10
Hey, look at that. Cesaro lost again. The title just happened to be on the line this time. This is the problem with jobbing out your champions. When they lose the belt, it doesn’t feel like a big deal. Cole and Lawler both seemed to think that the finish here was some sort of ultra-cool spot when it really wasn’t.

RECAP OF ZIGGLER CASHING IN ON DEL RIO- did they really need to replay the ENTIRE match?

WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE SEGMENT- awesome. The one thing I didn’t like was Ziggler trying to get out of a match against an injured Del Rio. The build to a Triple Threat match has been perfect so far!

TEAM HELL NO vs. THE PRIME TIME PLAYERS- 1/10
Didn’t I just see this on Smackdown, except that PTP looked a bit more competitive here?

RYBACK PROMO- F*CKING AMAZING! Stop reading this review and GO WATCH THIS PROMO RIGHT NOW!
They used continuity in such a way that I actually genuinely believe that this was all planned out months ago.

R-TRUTH vs. WADE BARRETT- 4/10
Well, I guess they haven’t learned from the mistake they made with Cesaro.,

BRAD MADDOX, TEDDY LONG, & VICKIE GUERRERO BACKSTAGE- DUD!
This was just weird, confusing, and stupid, and really makes it seem like Teddy Long, who has no business even being on the show, is the only authority figure in the whole of the WWE actually doing anything. Teddy says that he has given Swagger some “extra incentive” to face Dolph Ziggler tonight, and Vickie says “ooohh… I like it” without even asking what that extra incentive is.
The end of this segment especially was just confusing. Why should Booker T need to be informed about a match made on Raw? The words and actions of everyone in this segment for the last thirty seconds or so just seemed really weird.

TEAM RHODES SCHOLARS vs. SANTINO MARELLA & THE GREAT KHALI (w/Natalya & Hornswoggle)- DUD!
Khali was announced as weighing 347 lbs. I don’t buy it for a second. JBL’s line about Hornswoggle (who was wearing a green jacket) having won the “miniature golf masters” was hilarious.
The match itself was not entertaining in any way and entirely pointless. At least they didn’t have Cody and Sandow lose.

ROCK-POCALYPSE AD- did WWE really spend time making a beat-em’-up adventure game starring The Rock? Why?

JERRY LAWLER TELLS US HOW POPULAR FANDANGO-ING IS- if it is really this popular, Lawler shouldn’t need to tell us. And the last thing I feel like seeing right now is another Harlem Shake-esque reminder of why I f*cking hate social media.

FANDANGO PROMO- he tells the fans to “go Fandango yourselves.” An amusing and clever wordplay, but not worth eight minutes of TV.

CENA PROMO- short and sweet.

JACK SWAGGER (w/Zeb Coulter) vs. DOLPH ZIGGLER (w/AJ Lee & Big E Langston)- 6.5/10… and about ten minutes too short! I can’t wait to see these two wrestle again.

DEL RIO ATTACKS SWAGGER AFTER THE MATCH- good

MARK HENRY JUMPS SHEAMUS DURING AN INTERVIEW- why, exactly, did I decide to start watching Smackdown again?

CM PUNK PROMO- pretty good

BOOKER T & TEDDY LONG BACKSTAGE- I really don’t understand why Booker is so bent out of shape here. He has no authority over anything that goes on during Raw, so why should Teddy need to run things past him?
I also think that the triple threat match needed to be announced yet. I think maybe another week of build focusing a bit more on a the three-way aspect of things rather than on three different one-on-one feuds would have worked better.

KAITLYN vs. NIKKI BELLA (w/Brie Bella)- DUD!
Anyone else think it’s weird that Kaitlyn wrestled this match in her regular clothes, rather than wrestling gear?
Anyway, the champ gets her ass kicked for most of the match, then gets pinned after a twin switch and a super-lame looking finish… making this the second straight lame-looking finish between Kaitlyn and a Bella.

COMMERCIAL HYPING UP THIS WEEK’S IC TITLE SHOT BATTLE ROYALE ON MAIN EVENT- the ad said that there is only “one way” to determine who deserves an IC Title shot, and that is to have a battle royale. Really? Just one way… and that is winning a battle royale? Not, say… PINNING THE CHAMPION, WHICH R-TRUTH DID LESS THAN TWO HOURS AGO?

CENA-RYBACK CONFRONTATION- DUD!
First of all, this segment should have ended with Ryback laying Cena out. I get what they were trying to do here, but the execution was very poor. A much better way to do this would have been to have Ryback watching a Cena match from the stage and then have the Shield attack Cena and show Ryback just watching. Having Ryback walk away from Cena before the Shield showed up really hurt Ryback.
Showing us that glimpse of the Shield in with the brief cutaway was a HUGE mistake. All it did was give away what was going to happen.

I really don’t think this should have happened this week. They have four more Raws to go before the PPV, and with the way Ryback’s promo went, I think these guys need to be in the same place as few times as possible. Just have Cena say in his earlier promo that he will call Ryback out next week, then you can do this next week and you only have two weeks of TV during which you need to come up with ways to keep them away from each other instead of three (the last week of TV should end with Ryback laying Cena out).

Overall, a very up and down episode of Raw. Despite the dud in the Cena-Ryback segment, the two top titles seem to be going someplace good, but everything else seems completely random and eclectic.

[Bob-O]

Why the hell should I watch Smackdown if you are just going to do the same damn thing on Raw?

I think it's Wrestlemania break time. My thoughts while watching the show where that the writers wrote about an hour of content and said 'Fuck it, where's that Smackdown script? Let's just mix it in and see if Vince'll sign it..."

PAUL HEYMAN PROMO ON BEHALF OF BROCK LESNAR- DUD!
The way Paul E. built everything up it really felt like a different match type would have worked better (perhaps Last Man Standing or Hell in a Cell). Furthermore, I have almost no desire to see Lesnar vs. Triple H again. The silver lining of this cloud, though, is that WWE seems to have realized how big of a mistake it was to have Triple H beat Brock at Mania and they are rushing to repair the damage.

Disagree 100%. I absolutely LOVED Heyman's promo, I sensed a little "Paul E" coming through! What's wrong with an old school Cage Match? What difference does a roof over it make? I'm actually excited for this, these two work well together and I'm up for seeing it again, especially (like you said) Brock should get the 2 out of 3. I don't think they recognize Triple H going over at Wrestlemania a mistake at all (I do, but they don't). It's Triple H, it's Wrestlemania, and he'd put the Undertaker over two years strait. Brock is still Brock and a win at Extreme Rules rights the ship.

WWE UNITED STATES TITLE MATCH: Antonio Cesaro(c) vs. Kofi Kingston- 5.5/10
Hey, look at that. Cesaro lost again. The title just happened to be on the line this time. This is the problem with jobbing out your champions. When they lose the belt, it doesn’t feel like a big deal. Cole and Lawler both seemed to think that the finish here was some sort of ultra-cool spot when it really wasn’t.

I haven't read the spoilers yet, but I'm wondering Kofi holds that thing past Smackdown. After the "Chant Mob", I'm sure they were left scrambling for the fastest way to get a belt on Fandango.

Also, did you think it was odd that Kofi's victory speech was all about "Bringing the Belt Home"? Kofi's from Africa. This bugged the crap out of me.


Last week was a tough Raw to follow, but I'm left feeling like they didn't even try. I liked the Ryback stuff and the Ziggler stuff, but they could keep the rest. I actually wrote a Random Ramblings about this show and deleted it after the proof read. WAAAY too negative, like I was watching TNA or something...

[cero2k]

RECAP OF ZIGGLER CASHING IN ON DEL RIO- did they really need to replay the ENTIRE match?

and it was still the better match of this week's raw

CENA-RYBACK CONFRONTATION- DUD!
First of all, this segment should have ended with Ryback laying Cena out. I get what they were trying to do here, but the execution was very poor. A much better way to do this would have been to have Ryback watching a Cena match from the stage and then have the Shield attack Cena and show Ryback just watching. Having Ryback walk away from Cena before the Shield showed up really hurt Ryback.
Showing us that glimpse of the Shield in with the brief cutaway was a HUGE mistake. All it did was give away what was going to happen.

i'm pretty sure showing the shield was an error, i looked like an error.

[Big Red Machine]

PAUL HEYMAN PROMO ON BEHALF OF BROCK LESNAR- DUD!
The way Paul E. built everything up it really felt like a different match type would have worked better (perhaps Last Man Standing or Hell in a Cell). Furthermore, I have almost no desire to see Lesnar vs. Triple H again. The silver lining of this cloud, though, is that WWE seems to have realized how big of a mistake it was to have Triple H beat Brock at Mania and they are rushing to repair the damage.

Disagree 100%. I absolutely LOVED Heyman's promo, I sensed a little "Paul E" coming through! What's wrong with an old school Cage Match? What difference does a roof over it make? I'm actually excited for this, these two work well together and I'm up for seeing it again, especially (like you said) Brock should get the 2 out of 3. I don't think they recognize Triple H going over at Wrestlemania a mistake at all (I do, but they don't). It's Triple H, it's Wrestlemania, and he'd put the Undertaker over two years strait. Brock is still Brock and a win at Extreme Rules rights the ship.

It was just the way Paul started it all up. First he talked about Hunter being the first person to ever knock Brock out, which seems to lead to Last Man Standing or something like that, then he started talking about a match that can " (I don't remember if he said shorten or end) careers," which is how WWE has always built up Hell in a Cell... so to get a freakin' cage match where the objective is to run away from the other guy is just a huge letdown. I fully expect Hunter to counter this with a challenge for HIAC, though.

Also, did you think it was odd that Kofi's victory speech was all about "Bringing the Belt Home"? Kofi's from Africa. This bugged the crap out of me.

A bit, but I assumed that he meant "back home" as in around his waist, because they hadn't been playing up the anti-American aspect of Cesaro's character at all in the past five or six months (current WWE Cesaro and the Cesaro I had in my fantasy booking are very different).

Last week was a tough Raw to follow, but I'm left feeling like they didn't even try. I liked the Ryback stuff and the Ziggler stuff, but they could keep the rest. I actually wrote a Random Ramblings about this show and deleted it after the proof read. WAAAY too negative, like I was watching TNA or something...

Post it anyway. Negative is fine. If you didn't like the show, you have the same right to let the world know it as you would if you had liked the show.

You bringing up TNA is funny here because I have had that interview with Bischoff where he talked a lot about episodic TV on my mind recently, and I think that this show (combined with Smackdown, too) was a complete and total failure at being episodic, which I think is important.

[cero2k]

I haven't read the spoilers yet, but I'm wondering Kofi holds that thing past Smackdown. After the "Chant Mob", I'm sure they were left scrambling for the fastest way to get a belt on Fandango.

I was also wondering this, Cesaro and Neville have been feuding on NXT and they booked a US title match, I know NXT is not really that important, but it just shows how out of nowhere this came from. I'm guessing that same as Barrett, they just wanted to reset the reign count to stop breaking reigns, Cesaro was already starting to pass some guys.

[Big Red Machine]

I haven't read the spoilers yet, but I'm wondering Kofi holds that thing past Smackdown. After the "Chant Mob", I'm sure they were left scrambling for the fastest way to get a belt on Fandango.

I was also wondering this, Cesaro and Neville have been feuding on NXT and they booked a US title match, I know NXT is not really that important, but it just shows how out of nowhere this came from. I'm guessing that same as Barrett, they just wanted to reset the reign count to stop breaking reigns, Cesaro was already starting to pass some guys.

Why would Fandango need a belt. They won't get any more people to go Fandango-ing by putting a belt on him.

As for taking the belt off of Cesaro just for the sake of keeping people's records intact... that doesn't sound like WWE. This is the same company that threw away a World Heavyweight Title match at Wrestlemania just to try to break the record for shortest Wrestlemania Title match.

[cero2k]

I haven't read the spoilers yet, but I'm wondering Kofi holds that thing past Smackdown. After the "Chant Mob", I'm sure they were left scrambling for the fastest way to get a belt on Fandango.

I was also wondering this, Cesaro and Neville have been feuding on NXT and they booked a US title match, I know NXT is not really that important, but it just shows how out of nowhere this came from. I'm guessing that same as Barrett, they just wanted to reset the reign count to stop breaking reigns, Cesaro was already starting to pass some guys.

Why would Fandango need a belt. They won't get any more people to go Fandango-ing by putting a belt on him.

As for taking the belt off of Cesaro just for the sake of keeping people's records intact... that doesn't sound like WWE. This is the same company that threw away a World Heavyweight Title match at Wrestlemania just to try to break the record for shortest Wrestlemania Title match.

It's not that they want to keep records intact. More as in they have no real plans for either title but if they just let it run the reign will get epic. This is more like a maintenance change

[Bob-O]

Post it anyway. Negative is fine. If you didn't like the show, you have the same right to let the world know it as you would if you had liked the show.

Thanks, but it's gone, like - *preview, *proof read, *think about it, *close tab - kind of gone. Negative is one thing, but I was being downright whiny. When I annoy myself, it's time to flush the toilet instead of share the creation with the world. I'll give 'er another go next week.

I think a friend of mine summed this week's show up best when he said, "You know, Bob-O, it's like Vince was mad at us because he took the night off and we all loved the show..."

A statement that was made in passing has stuck with me for days...

[badnewzxl]

Overall, a very up and down episode of Raw. Despite the dud in the Cena-Ryback segment, the two top titles seem to be going someplace good, but everything else seems completely random and eclectic.

where were the "ups" in your review, lol.

[Big Red Machine]

Overall, a very up and down episode of Raw. Despite the dud in the Cena-Ryback segment, the two top titles seem to be going someplace good, but everything else seems completely random and eclectic.

where were the "ups" in your review, lol.

The World Heavyweight Title segment and the Ryback promo.

[badnewzxl]

Overall, a very up and down episode of Raw. Despite the dud in the Cena-Ryback segment, the two top titles seem to be going someplace good, but everything else seems completely random and eclectic.

where were the "ups" in your review, lol.

The World Heavyweight Title segment and the Ryback promo.

so, then, a very 'down' episode.....

[Big Red Machine]

where were the "ups" in your review, lol.

The World Heavyweight Title segment and the Ryback promo.

so, then, a very 'down' episode.....

I guess, but I thought those segments were really, really, really good.