BRM Reviews the 12/6/2012 Impact

[Big Red Machine]

OPENING SEGMENT- eh. Standard hype segment. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't particularly good, either.

AUSTIN ARIES PROMO- okay. It announced another match for the PPV, though, which was good.

TNA TV TITLE MATCH: Samoa Joe(c) vs. Devon- 3.75/10
So four fans jump the guardrail. Why the hell does this company not have ringside security? Anyway, I am really not a fan of this title change. The title doesn't do anything for Devon and winning the title back doesn't do anything for Joe.

AL SNOW & DEVON BACKSTAGE- yeah, thi is definitely heading in the Wes & Devon are secretly part of Aces & Eights direction.

MICKIE JAMES & TARA SEGMENT- WHOA! Velvet Sky is back!... Damn! That means that Taz's "let the pigeons loose!" crap is back, too. A decent segment. Velvet's promo did seem a bit out of place, here, but I gues it will be fine if they have her do guest commentary during the title match at Final Resolution.

THE ROBBIES SCHILL FOR DIRECT AUTO INSURANCE- any time you can simultaneously please a sponsor and hype up a match at the same time is a win in my book.

CHAVO GUERRERO JR & HERNANDEZ vs. ROBBIE E & ROBBIE T- Very good semi-squash. The Robbie's didn't look ridiculously incompetent (especially Terry), and took some good bumps for Chavo & Hernandez

POST-MATCH PROMO BY JOEY RYAN "Big Morgan and the Big Organ"- ENOUGH SAID!

ACES & EIGHTS AND RANDOM CHICKS BACKSTAGE- right. Because this is exactly what Aces & Eights needed. Random hot chicks for it to be heavily implied that they will have sex with at some point.

KURT ANGLE, GERRT, & WES BRISCO BACKSTAGE- Garrett says that he wouldn't be here right now if it wasn't for Kurt Angle. WHAT? That makes NO SENSE AT ALL, contiinuity-wise!

CHAVO PROMO- good

I'm sorry. The name "DOC" is just plain the oppoasite of threatening. It makes me laugh every time that I hear it.
Tenay says that DOC was the second member of Aces & Eighs to be "publicly identified." Really? He has been publicly? THEN WHY DON'T YOU EVER SAY HIS NAME?

KURT ANGLE vs. DOC- no rating- GREAT segment! They made Doc look like he was a legit threat to Kurt, didn't give a match aaway, and set up for a PPV match... and the babyfaces didn't wait ten mionutes ot come out and make the sve for someone this time!

HULK HOGAN & BULLY RAY PROMO- Hogan just came off like an absolute moron here. He came off like a heel GM coming up with a lame excuse for why he is letting the heel champion duck the babyface challenger.

JAMES STORM & JEFF HARDY BACKSTAGE- these internal monologues are just so off. It doesn't make any kayfabe sense that we just all of a sudden slip into Jeff Hardy's brain, and it doesn't make artistic sense, either.

WINNER BECOMES #1 CONTENDER TO THE X-DIVISION TITLE: Kenny King vs. Zema Ion vs. Kid Kash- 6/10
Hooray for Kenny King winning! Unfortunately, he doens't have a snowball's chance in hell of beating RVD.

HOGAN, ARIES, & BULLY RAY SEGMENT- Aries & Bully were great, but Hogan was just atrocious. Both wrestlers want the match, the fans want the match, and it is just a regular old singles match )so it's not like it is something ridicluously dangerous like a death match or some kind)... and yet the babyface GM won't give it to them? WHAT?
Then Brooke comes out (looking much more like some skank in a nihgtclub than a professional businessperson) and her breaking kayfabe by calling Bubba "Mark" is enough to convince Hogan to make the match. WHAT?!

BOBBY ROODE, CHRISTOPHER DANIELS, & KAZARIAN vs. AJ STYLES, JAMES STORM, & JEFF HARDY- 6.25/10
Too much heat, not enogh comeback. They just cut right to the finish. Not good enough for a main evnet...

ACES & EIGHTS ATTACK JEFF HARDY- because Aces & Eights need to be involved in everything. Then all fivne Aces & Eights guys are chased off by a lone James Storm.

Overall, aside from the Hogan stuff, Impact was great outside of the ring, and better than usual inside of it. I would still like to see a lot better wrestling though. Good go-home show.

STUPID ANNOUNCER QUOTES:
1. Taz (when Ion broke up Kash's Boston Crab on King) "Zema Ion Inadvertantly did a favor there for Kenny King." It wasn't "inadvertant at all. He wanted to break up the submission hold so that Kenny King wouldn't tap out!

[cero2k]

MICKIE JAMES & TARA SEGMENT- WHOA! Velvet Sky is back!... Damn! That means that Taz's "let the pigeons loose!" crap is back, too. A decent segment. Velvet's promo did seem a bit out of place, here, but I gues it will be fine if they have her do guest commentary during the title match at Final Resolution.

i kinda disliked how they sold the return, and it felt like she took all of James' momentum of returning to impact

[Big Red Machine]

MICKIE JAMES & TARA SEGMENT- WHOA! Velvet Sky is back!... Damn! That means that Taz's "let the pigeons loose!" crap is back, too. A decent segment. Velvet's promo did seem a bit out of place, here, but I gues it will be fine if they have her do guest commentary during the title match at Final Resolution.

i kinda disliked how they sold the return, and it felt like she took all of James' momentum of returning to impact

That's what I mean when I said it felt kind of awkward.