BRM Reviews the 11/15/2012 Impact (very bad)

[Big Red Machine]

OPENING SEGMENT- Storm’s promo was awesome. There is no reason for him not to beat Hardy at the PPV. I really didn’t like everything they did with Roode. We JUST had Storm vs. Roode for a year, and Roode goading Storm into the match by talking about his daughter just seems so played out.

HULK HOGAN TALKS ABOUT AJ STYLES- “AJ is his own worst enemy” (paraphrasing) “he’s in the same place he was a few years ago and that is sad’- what the f*ck?! Hogan is just burying AJ for no reason. Nothing he’s saying here makes any sense and is not relevant to anything!

ACES & EIGHTS IN THEIR CLUBHOUSE- HORRIBLE! The Aces & Eights VP chews Doc out for losing his mask, having his identity revealed, and for “exposing this club.” First of all, YOU BROADCAST YOUR SECRET MEETINGS ON NATIONAL TV! I wouldn’t blame Doc for exposing your club. Secondly (and more importantly), Doc’s mask has been off for two whole weeks now. In that time, all we know about him is that his first name might be Doc (they have been ambiguous on whether that is a name or a nickname stemming from “Director of Chaos”), so losing his mask really doesn’t seem to have exposed anything more than his face. We don’t know his identity and we are no closer to discovering Aces & Eights evil plan. Thirdly, and most problematically… Aces & Eights seem so worried about losing their masks, but it has now been five weeks since Devon lost his mask and two weeks since Doc lost his… and there don’t seem to have been any consequences for Aces & Eights whatsoever! TNA needs to show, not tell.

TNA X-DIVISION TITLE MATCH: Rob Van Dam(c) vs. Kid Kash- 4.25/10
Pretty good for the time it was given. The thing that bothered me here was Tenay’s whole talk about Kash claiming to have found a flaw in RVD’s game that he would exploit. That wasn’t reflected in the story of the match in any way, and Van Dam won quickly and with no real difficulty whatsoever, so Tenay saying this really just makes Kash look incompetent.

EY & ODB BACKSTAGE- dumb. If you want to tell us about these matches, just run a graphic or have the announcers mention them. Don’t waste two minutes of TV time with EY saying dumb sh*t.

KURT ANGLE, WES BRISCO, & GARRETT BISCHOFF BACKSTAGE- Dear Lord! Wes was just WAY too over the top here. Garrett wasn’t good either, and the fact that Kurt has to pick from THESE TWO for a partner for a match against a super dangerous group like Aces & Eights is just silly, especially with that whole “the lockerroom is united against Aces & Eights!” crap Tenay was pushing. Is everyone else at the dentist or something?

ERIC YOUNG (w/ODB) vs. JESSIE GODDERZ (w/Tara)- 3/10
I know it is supposed to look impressive, but Jessie picking up Tara to show off his strength really isn’t that impressive when you consider that she is only 135lbs, and this is a show where we see people routinely pick up men who weigh over 200 lbs.

Why the hell is Magnus getting another shot at the TV Title? He lost cleanly at the PPV (and the one before that). Why the hell is he getting another title shot?

HULK HOGAN & JOSEPH PARK BACKSTAGE- Hogan keeps talking about liability, but didn’t Joseph bring Hulk a waiver a few weeks ago? Anyway, Joseph going to get trained could be fun.

ACES & EIGHTS ATTACK MAGNUS- the TV Title match never gets started because Aces & Eights attack Magnus. No one from the “united locker room” comes out to make the save for him. You’d think that at least Samoa Joe should be right there, considering that he was supposed to be having a match against Magnus right now. Anyway, five Aces & Eights guys destroy Magnus with various weapons until Bully Ray makes the save. That’s right. Just Bully Ray (possibly armed with his chain, but we didn’t actually see it) causes five members of Aces & Eights, armed with a ball-peen hammer and a baseball bat, to run away.

AUSTIN ARIES & JEFF HARDY SEGMENT- Aries’ promo was decent. Then he left and we got some weird inner monologue from Hardy which was just horrible. First of all, it felt extremely out of place on Impact. We always have an outside point of view, and JUST HAD ONE TWO SECONDS AGO. Why did we rush into Jeff Hardy’s brain all of a sudden? Also, all Jeff’s talk about Aries coming into his “dimension” just sounded stupid.

KURT ANGLE & GARRETT BISCHOFF vs. ACES & EIGHTS- 3.75/10
This big strong scary mean Aces & Eights guy gets into the ring for the first time… then gets dominated by GARRETT BISCHOFF. Well… that guy isn’t a credible threat anymore. Anyway, this was dull. Kurt needed to cheat to beat a guy who had just gotten manhandled by Garrett. WTF? Also, Kurt botched a suplex in this match. I honestly do not think I have ever said those words before.

TARA & JESSIE GO INTO BROOKE’S OFFICE- bad. I guess this segment was intended to reveal to us that Bully Raw is screwing Brooke, but not locking the door made Brooke look like an idiot.

DIXIE TALKS ABOUT AJ- Dixie seems to think that AJ has let all of the BS with Kaz and Daniels affect his wrestling and that it is still affecting him and his wrestling now, and that is why he lost at Turning Point. That he has been depressed and that now that he can’t challenge for the World Title he has no idea what to do with himself and will just become even more depressed. There is ABSOLUTELY NO EVIDENCE TO SUPPORT THIS! AT ALL! To anyone who watched the PPV, all it looked like was that AJ lost a wrestling match, fair and square. TNA seems to be randomly imposing this idea over a clean loss in a wrestling match.

BATTLE ROYALE FOR A KNOCKOUTS TITLE MATCH- 3.75/10
I have no problem with Mickie picking up the win here in her big return, but why is this happening at all? Didn’t ODB pin Tara clean a few weeks ago?

DOES DOC GET KICKED OUT OF ACES & EIGHTS?- this was possibly the most pointless swerve ever.

AJ STYLES, KAZ, & DANIELS SEGMENT- AJ’s promo in the beginning here was AMAZING! Then Kaz and Daniels came out and it went downhill. The segment was still good, but I’m not sure that wrestling Daniels (again) was the right way to go with AJ right now.

AUSTIN ARIES PROMO- awesome. Makes me want to watch next week’s show to see who he will call out.

KURT ANGLE WANTS WES BRISCO FOR GUT CHECK- you mean he has been hanging around the locker room every week for the last few months but isn’t on the roster?

WINNER BECOMES #1 CONTENDER OT THE TNA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE: James Storm vs. Bobby Roode- 6.5/10
Not good enough for a main event, but good storytelling nonetheless.


Overall, a very, very bad episode of Impact, with AJ and Aries’ promos and the main event being the lone bright spots on an otherwise horrific show.

STUPID ANNOUNCER QUOTES:
1. Tenay (about Storm and Roode)- “Four time tag team champions. They were inseparable. That was until Bobby Roode won the Bound For Glory Series in 2011, and won the World Championship soon after. Held the championship for many months.”
A more accurate version of events would be that they didn’t split up until three weeks after Bound For Glory 2011 when ROODE CHEATED TO BEAT STORM FOR THE TITLE BY HITTING HIM IN THE HEAD WITH A BEER BOTTLE! How do you talk up the history between Storm and Roode and mention that Roode won the belt without mention this?!

[cero2k]

KURT ANGLE WANTS WES BRISCO FOR GUT CHECK- you mean he has been hanging around the locker room every week for the last few months but isn’t on the roster?

there's nothing wrong with this. it's not like he's getting matches or anything, he's just hanging out.

[Big Red Machine]

KURT ANGLE WANTS WES BRISCO FOR GUT CHECK- you mean he has been hanging around the locker room every week for the last few months but isn’t on the roster?

there's nothing wrong with this. it's not like he's getting matches or anything, he's just hanging out.

It just seems weird is all.

[cero2k]

KURT ANGLE WANTS WES BRISCO FOR GUT CHECK- you mean he has been hanging around the locker room every week for the last few months but isn’t on the roster?

there's nothing wrong with this. it's not like he's getting matches or anything, he's just hanging out.

It just seems weird is all.

true, but at least they acknowledge this is wes briscoe, son of a hall of famer, so you could expect for him to be well received in a locker room

[Big Red Machine]

there's nothing wrong with this. it's not like he's getting matches or anything, he's just hanging out.

It just seems weird is all.

true, but at least they acknowledge this is wes briscoe, son of a hall of famer, so you could expect for him to be well received in a locker room

Yeah, but a few months just seems excessive. Also, why hasn't Kurt gone to the Gut Check judges about Wes before?

[cero2k]

Yeah, but a few months just seems excessive. Also, why hasn't Kurt gone to the Gut Check judges about Wes before?

that i don't know, you're gonna have to ask Kurt about that

[Serujuunin]

I don't even know if I want to watch this Impact after reading this. After the last few episodes, I can't even bring myself to care and watching it just seems like a waste of my time...

[Big Red Machine]

I don't even know if I want to watch this Impact after reading this. After the last few episodes, I can't even bring myself to care and watching it just seems like a waste of my time...

Just watch the main event.

[Serujuunin]

I don't even know if I want to watch this Impact after reading this. After the last few episodes, I can't even bring myself to care and watching it just seems like a waste of my time...

Just watch the main event.

I will do just that. Thanks for the heads up lol

[Big Bad Booty Daddy]

Hmmmmm TNA doesn't know what to do with AJ so they give him ANOTHER match with Daniels


Hope Daniels wins this one cause this shit is getting to predictable