BRM Reviews the 9/13/2012 Impact

[Big Red Machine]

OPENING SEGMENT- decent

TNA X-DIVISION TITLE MATCH: Zema Ion(c) vs. Sonjay Dutt- 4.75/10
Why is Sonjay getting this title shot? Didn't he just lose cleanly to Ion at the PPV? They could have done pretty much the same thing with anyone else on the X-Division roster, and it would have worked a lot better.

DANIELS, KAZ & HOGAN SEGMENT- good

STORM & ROODE SEGMENT- good.

AJ STYLES vs. KAZARIAN- 6.25/10

HULK HOGAN, JOSEPH PARK, & BROOKE HOGAN BACKSTAGE- NOW Joseph Park wants to worry about what he can actually prove. This same Joseph Park who, three months, ago, declared Bully Ray guilty of leaving Abyss for dead in a ditch with no evidence whatsoever that wasn't circumstantial. Then, rather can calling for security, Hulk apoints JOSEPH PARK to be Brooke's bodyguard. The only way this silly stupidity could possibly lead to anything good would be if Hulk comes back into the room to find Brooke going down on Park

JEFF HARDY & BULLY RAY SEGMENT- so now they are doing direct rematches of TWO No Surrender matches on the very next Impact. Why should I buy the PPV if you are just going to have the same matches for free later in the week?

HULK HOGAN PROMO-... did he just say that Jeff Hardy was a space alien? Maybe Jeff can team up with Shawn Stasiak to wrestle Lance Storm and Mike Tenay.
Anyway, Hulk finally gets smart and decides that it is a good idea to have extra security every night (seriously! I'm some schmoe sitting at home, and I came up with this by the second week of attacks. Hulk is supposed to be a pro at running a wrestling company, and it took him months! Then Aces & Eights somehow take over the PandaTron, and the talker from Aces & Eights cuts a FREAKIN' AWESOME promo.

CHRISTOPHER DANIELS vs. CHAVO GUERRERO JR.- 6.25/10

GUT CHECK GUY VIDEO PACKAGE- good... but I wonder what was on his shirt that they had to blur out. Anyway, this was very good. I am actually very behind this guy right now.

JAMES STORM PROMO- great

TARA & TESSMACHER SEGMENT- I will give TNA some props. I was expecting a swerve here, but they dragged it out long enough that I actually said "wow. I was expecting a swerve here but they didn't do it." Twelve seconds later... swerve.

DIXIE CARTER YELLS AT HOGAN AND THE AGENTS-
Oh. NOW Dixie decides to tell everyone that they need to take care of this Aces & Eights thing. This year has shown Dixie Carter to be THE MOST out of touch boss ever.
I was tolerating this segment until Dixie said "We need to protect Brooke. We need to protect ME. I have a family!"

You know who else needs protecting, Dixie? You know who else has a family? All of the little people. The stage-hands, pyro-guys, sound-guys, cameramen, Taz, Tenay, Christie, JB, ... most of them have families, too, and unlike you and Brooke, THEY AREN'T MILLIONAIRES!

After Dixie said that, they went around the room with some extremely lame sound effects that were both dumb and hurt kayfabe by existing. Overall, an atrocious segment.

WINNER GETS A TNA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE SHOT AT BOUND FOR GLORY: Jeff Hardy vs. Bully Ray- 6.75/10
Almost good enough for a main event.

Overall, Impact was actually pretty good this week, with the exception of certain horrendous segments.