BRM Reviews the 9/6/2012 Impact

[Big Red Machine]

BOUND FOR GLORY SERIES MATCH: Jeff Hardy vs. Samoa Joe- 5.5/10
A good match, but I hated the finish. Jeff really didn’t work the neck over at all before the submission, and a headlock takeover? Really?

HOGAN & ARIES SEGMENT- bad. This guy must know that TNA knows who he is by now, so the why the hell would he show up this week (and we later find out that he was a FREELANCE grip, so him showing up this week is just ridiculously stupid)? And if Hogan is okay with using torture to get answers out of Aces & Eights, why didn’t he and Sting interrogate the guys that Hogan knocked out with the baseball a few weeks ago?

JOE & MAGNUS SEGMENT- lame. Yet another lying, delusional heel.

HOGAN CHOOSES A TAG TEAM TITLE CHALLENGER: PART 1: Damn. Now I have sit through these crappy segments even when it isn’t Open Fight Night. Anyway, this was crap. Hogan eliminates AJ because he “can’t have both tag belts” on AJ. The obvious solution here is to let AJ pick a partner, but that doesn’t even enter Hogan’s mind. Also, the way that Hogan said that he needed the belts off of Daniels & Kaz seemed extremely heelish.

TARA, BROOKE, & GAIL KIM SEGMENT- eh.

TARA vs. GAIL KIM- 2.5/10
Want to know a great way to make your ref’s lose credibility? Dress them in a manner designed to show off their breasts.

First we get a video package about the Joey Ryan angle, then we see Al Snow on his way to the ring, and Tenay says “what’s this about? I guess we’ll find out when we return, live, to Impact Wrestling.” This is the sort of thing that makes Mike Tenay so unbearably annoying.

AL SNOW & JOEY RYAN SEGMENT- great… until the end. Joey should not be afraid of a WAY past his prime Al Snow.

BULLY RAY & JOSEPH PARK SEGMENT- eh.

AUSTIN ARIES INTERROGATES SOMEONE- OH COME ON! That doesn’t look anything like the guy from last week!

HOGAN CHOOSES A TAG TEAM TITLE CHALLENGER: PART 2- Crap. First Hogan rambles on, saying that he got “drawn in by the whole Kaz and Daniels soap opera” and somehow that prevented him from doing his job as GM where the tag team division was concerned. Then he eliminates Kash & Gunner for not having been a team for long enough, when, in reality, they have at least three or four minutes of seniority on Hernandez & Chavo.

BOUND FOR GLORY SERIES MATCH: Bully Ray vs. Rob Van Dam- 6/10
Too short, but a good finish.

HOGAN & ARIES NOW START TO TORTURE THIS GUY- horrible. First Aries starts TORTURING SOMEONE ON LIVE TV! Then Hogan shows up and helps out. Hogan then says that because this guy cornered Brooke, it is going to be “an eye for an eye”… then Hulk proceeds to threaten to gauge the guy’s eye out. At this point, I started to cry because Hulk seems to missed the key point about Lex Tallionis. It is literal. In this case, if it is “an eye for an eye,” Hulk should go out and intimidate this guy’s daughter.
Then some top level guy in Aces & Eights calls Hogan and they agree to trade this guy for Aries having a match at No Surrender against the guy who broke his arm. Oh come on! THIS MORON is a top-level guy in Aces & Eights? He is a f*cking moron for even showing up to work today! Oh, and not defending the belt will make Aries violate the 30 Day Rule.
I also don’t understand how this exchange helps Hogan at all. He wants to find out who Aces & Eights are. He has a high ranking prisoner whom he is willing to torture for information… and is willing to give him away just so Aries can have a match?

JAMES STORM & BULLY RAY SEGMENT- good

RVD & MAGNUS SEGMENT- the punches were lame, but the segment itself was good.

TNA WORLD TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH: Christopher Daniels(c) & Kazarian vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr. & Hernandez- 6.25/10
Not good enough for a main event. Then Hogan comes out and announces that Kaz & Daniels will defend the belts at No Surrender against AJ & Angle. Okay. Fine. But then why not have Kaz & Daniels win cleanly here?

CLOSING SEGMENT- Aries drags this guy out and although he wasn’t willing to talk when Aries was going to yank his tongue out with pliers, but a few slaps in the middle of the ring and he is willing to sing like a canary. Then the big Aces & Eights guy comes out and silences him. Then Aries and the Arm Breaker start to brawl, and the show closes with Tenay saying something along the lines of “make sure to order the PPV this Sunday when Aries fights the big guy from Aces & Eights.” Meanwhile, as Tenay is saying this, in the ring, Aries is fighting the big guy from Aces & Eights.

Overall, this episode of Impact was passable as a go-home show, but was otherwise a bad show.

[Serujuunin]

Glad I didn't watch it. I'm just gonna watch Hardy vs. Joe and forget about the rest of the show.