Jeff Hardy now using Charlie Sheen to get high..

[Lynas]

Although Jeff Hardy's past drug use has been heavily documented to the point wher he's has pending criminal charges pendingt because of it, the addiction has never quite been a source of humor. The likes of Rob Van Dam, Sabu, and Brian Kendrick have had their drug use ridiculed, laughed at, and spit upon, but somehow, The Charismatic Enigma has simply been called foolish and at times, pitied. While one would hope that Hardy has learned his lesson, this is not entirely the case.

After hearing interviews with a certain actor that used to work for the man that also produces The Big Bang Theory, Hardy decided that a drug that was mentioned was too awesome not to try. According to the man giving the interview, the drug would cause one's face to melt, along with some other very graphic side effects. Due to the mind-altering states to which Hardy has submitted himself in the past, Jeff decided to try and find some for recreational use.

What is this insanely potent new drug on the market, you ask?

The answer: Charlie Sheen.

Unbelievable as this may be, Jeff Hardy apparently thought that Charlie Sheen had managed to concoct a potent hallucinogen, and, lacking any sort of creativity, simply named it after himself. After inquiring after the mythological mind-altering substance from a few random individuals, Hardy gave up the search and went back home, firmly set on staying on the wagon once more.

"If I can't have Charlie Sheen, I'm not going to have anything," Hardy said off-hand to one of the reporters posing as a TMZ employee. "I've never had a drug that made me feel like my face was melting, and I know that anything else would just disappoint me."

Most of the individuals to which he spoke - only one of which actually wound up being a drug dealer - were completely baffled by his inquiries.

"I was just waiting for my friend to pick me up so we could go to the indoor pool near my house, and suddenly, Jeff Hardy shows up asking if I have some dude or other," one (non-drug dealing) individual said. "I told him I had a some VHS tapes - both Hot Shots movies, Wall Street, The Chase - that I would be willing to give him, since I've got the DVDs by now, but he backpedaled, acting all freaked out.

The drug dealer, on the other hand, was a little more interesting with his reply.

"I don't know where I can get it, but if this Charlie Sheen stuff is as good as that tatooed, hair-dyed punk guy in his thirties told me, I think I could make serious bank. I've got some feelers out, and I ain't selling anything right now 'cause of that."

When asked for a comment about drug use, and specifically whether he would get the Charlie Sheen drug if it were actually real, Rob Van Dam said, "Man, I just keep chill. I don't need a face melting, dude."

[Rabid619]

YES YES!!!! THIS EXPLAINS IT ALL!!! =)) =)) =))

[cero2k]

DUH!! Winning...

[Serujuunin]

This. Is. Hilarious.

[NWK]

Hahahahah. at tattooed rainbow haired man in his thirties? You have officially made Jeff Hardy sound more pathetic than normal, congratulations.