BRM Reviews the 7/14/2021 Dynamite (Fyter Fest: Night 1)

[Big Red Machine]

There is a fan with a sign that says “Cowboy sh*t” and is representing Adam Page with a poop emoji in a cowboy hat and bandana. Drawing someone as fecal matter is an odd way to show that you support them.

IWGP UNITED STATES HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH: Jon Moxley(c) (w/Eddie Kingston) vs. Karl Anderson (w/Doc Gallows)- 7/10
Excalibur said that this match would be contested under IWGP rules, which makes sense, but then nothing he said was actually different from AEW’s normal rules (unless AEW switched to a ten-count on the floor without telling anyone, but that would be a completely ridiculous thing for them to do, as all it would do is make the rules seem like more of a joke because they would be ignored even more often).
Kingston and Gallows brawled away into the crowd right away. The distraction that this caused allowed Anderson to jump the bell on Moxley.
Oh. Right. Silly me. I should have known. “IWGP rules” means that using a weapon is only a DQ if the planned finish of the match is for that spot to be a DQ, and the count-out rules only apply when the wrestlers want to tease a count-out as a false finish. WWE is not the only promotion that regularly insults its audience’s intelligence.
Moxley’s neck got worked over but he got the clean-ish win (he did choke his opponent with a foreign object on the outside).

I was really excited to see Wheeler YUTA until I saw that Best Friends would be in his corner. Why? Since when are they a group? And it’s not like Best Friends are feuding with YUTA’s opponent (Sammy Guevara), either.

LANCE ARCHER PROMO- fine
He wants his rematch against Moxley next week, in a Texas Deathmatch just like their first. I appreciate that they came up with some sort of reason, however flimsy, to make this a gimmick match, rather than just doing it because GIMMICK MATCH! I also can’t help but notice that he said “my rematch” as if it’s something he is naturally entitled to, which means that NJPW does have an automatic rematch clause and I was right all along.

ALEX ABRAHANTES INTERVIEWS ANDRADE EL IDOLO- meh
Why is Penta’s manager now doing interviews? Also, who is the guy behind Andrade with the notepad? Did he get a new manager or something?
Alex tells us that Tony Khan has given Andrade “permission to kick down the Forbidden Door and win championships everywhere.” Wait… isn’t Tony Khan the “Forbidden Door?” Did Tony just tell Andrade “you can walk up to me and kick down whenever you want?”
Also, I really that Andrade is already scheduled to win a belt, because if he doesn’t this is just going to make him look like a failure.
Anyway, the reason Abrahantes was doing this interview was because the script called for Andrade to tell Abrahantes that he was looking for Death Triangle. His words were good, but the logic issue her really annoys me. They could have done this with any interviewer and just had Andrade address his message to the camera (or without an interviewer at all), but instead they had to assign someone who doesn’t usually do interviews to do this interview, where it just so happens that the guy he is interviewing has a message for the guy he manages and his buddies. This sort of crap makes the show feel scripted, and it would have been SOOOO easy to do this right.

FTW TITLE MATCH: Brian Cage(c) vs. Ricky Starks- 6.75/10
Taz was on commentary for this match. Will Hobbs and Hook were at ringside, but in no one’s corner. They tried every bit of psychology to dissuade you from thinking that the obvious turn was coming, from Taz saying that Cage was more willing to talk to him than Starks to Cage wearing Taz’s colors and Starks not, but we all knew how this was going to end… and that’s not a bad thing at all if the story makes sense and this one did. Where you run into problem with trying too hard to swerve us is where you do things like the one bad spot in this match where Hobbs stopped Starks from cheating earlier on, even though he was going to cheat to help him win later, but that one spot didn’t take too much away from this match. It’s more just a note of something that should be improved on in the future.

Exaclibur told us that Malachai Black put out a video on YouTube about how this was a “dark aspect f his personality” or something like that. Do you maybe want to show us that video? I’m not doing f*cking homework to watch your show.

CODY PROMO & CONFRONTATION WITH MALACHAI BLACK- awesome, but…
I guess seeing the recap of what happened to Arn has enraged Cody enough that he felt like he had to come out now and cut a promo about it.
He went over to the desk and grabbed a headset and cut what sounded like an excellent promo on Black (though I will admit to being a little confused about Black’s employment status), then he went to the ring and called Black out, and Black immediately popped up on the KhanTron. Or maybe Vince hacked the feed, because Aleister Black is back in a smoke-filled room with a black background.
Black said that the fans cheered when he kicked Cody because they don’t care about Cody. He then started to tell a story about seeing a man kill a horse. With all of the bad news about his physical health recently, it’s good to hear that at least Terry Funk was able to get his revenge.
Or maybe not, as this story about a mercy killing, which Black says is what he did to Arn and Cody. Cody dares him to come out and fight. Black responds “I was hoping you’d say that” and uses the power of blackout teleportation to get to the ring. They brawled, and it was broken up by referees and security.
This was very strong stuff. Cody was tremendous here, and even the use of teleportation didn’t feel gratuitous, as its existence allowed them to have Black and Cody talk from a place where Cody couldn’t just go charging at Black and allowed Black to hear what he felt ne needed to hear before choosing to initiate the fight. I still hate the idea and wish no one would do it, but at least here it felt like something that was structural necessary rather than a parlor trick done make fans go “OOOH!” or a cheat out because you want to have two people fight but don’t want to “give away” the match before the big show.
I suppose that I should say that it also post-facto validates the use of the magical teleportation debut last week as establishing that Black has these powers, rather than a thing that is done just to do it (like the first time the Dark Order showed up and had magical powers that haven’t been displayed since). I don’t like these things in what is supposed to be a “real” world of wrestling (as opposed something like Lucha Underground or CHIKARA), and I was so happy that AEW stayed away from them with Sting, but there is part of me that thinks that the idea of a “grandfather clause” where I would accept such things from the likes of Sting, Taker, and Kane but not allow other acts to work that way is unfair, so I am going to be okay with this for Aleister Black provided the following:
1. His powers are used in a consistent manner, meaning both intellectually consistent (they can’t only be there the plot wants them to be) and consistent with Black’s character (he can’t use them to run away like a coward one week but decide to not use them and fight the next. Basically, I want to feel like the use of his powers is based on the desires and personality of the character, not the needs of the booker).
2. I want some explanation of how he got his powers. It doesn’t have to be anything complicated. It can be as simple as “he sold part of his soul to get them in some sort of occult ritual.” I want them to feel like an integral part of his background, not like a plot device.

Issue #2- Is he employed or not? Cody’s promo made it sound like he wasn’t, but the announcers weren’t doing any sort of “he doesn’t even wrestle here!” thing, and Cody seemed to expect him to be in the building… but if he’s employed, then it means that he has been rewarded for doing all of the things that EVP Cody said he shouldn’t get rewarded for doing.

Issue #3- Excalibur keeps saying that “this isn’t the Tommy End I knew!” and they’re talking about this “new, dark side of his personality.” But this doesn’t feel new. It feels like he’s the same guy from WWE, just being used better. And I think that’s the perfect way for him to come across, but the announcers then framing that as something “new” makes them feel out of touch.

Issue #4- While Cody’s passion was excellent, I will admit that it didn’t quite carry over for me because we’ve seen old men beaten up for heat on a constant basis on this show, and I don’t think anyone has come close to showing the fire that Cody did while talking about it… and what was done to Arn was fairly light considering what has happened to Konnan and Dean Malenko and Ricky Morton and Jake Roberts. There is a disconnect there, and this problem is not going to go away until AEW has more people respond to such things the way Cody did here.

ALEX MARVEZ’S INTERVIEW WITH TULLY BLANCHARD IS INTERRUPTED WHEN THEY WALK PAST LAX- meh
Tully is arriving forty-five minutes late, and LAX just happened to be sitting right in his path. What good fortune! Marvez had been accusing Tully of taking a “cheap shot” at Konnan last week, which is ridiculous! If someone jumps your buddy from behind and you run in to attack them from behind, that’s not a cheap shot! This wasn’t a tag team match where Tully came in illegally off the apron. It was after the match, and Konnan attacked completely unprovoked and from behind. Tully was completely justified in attacking Konnan from behind to protect his friends.
Tully was ready to fight them one against two if he had to. They restrained him and could have killed him with a crowbar, but let him off with a warning that instead of doing it now, they would do so next time. Why? Why is it any more honorable to assault him two on one in a hallway with a weapon next time than this time?
They told him to “get your boys,” and Tully said that he would.

TONY SCHIAVONE INTERVIEWS ADAM PAGE-
Page says that he wanted the title at the beginning and failed, but the Dark Order has shown him that he still needs it. This felt like it was supposed to be the big babyface promo where he talks about his issues and how the Dark Order helped him overcome them, but instead they fast-forwarded through all of that and it became generic.
The Elite came out and interrupted Page and said mean things about him. One of the Bucks got into the ring and taunted him about his alcoholism in a way that would have worked if Page’s alcoholism hadn’t been often played for laughs and met with CHEERS by the fans. The Buck dared Page to hit him so Page did, and the Elite attacked. Omega was going to hit hi with the title belt but just waited there forever because the Dark Order were supposed to make the save and they weren’t close enough yet.
Excalibur said that the Dark Order had “evened the odds” but Ross said that they had the heels outnumbered, so one of them was wrong. Page wants a match tonight. Kenny challenges them to a five-on-five elimination match. Page says that that’s not the match he wants, but agrees to it on the condition that if his team wins, he gets a world title shot “these guys-” not specifying which the seven dues in the ring he was talking about- get a shot at the tag titles. I love how the guy who has been the top-ranked contender for over a month has to jump through hoops to get a title shot.
Kenny went into over-the-top clown mode, first shouting about now none of them have earned it, but then laughing while calming down and saying that it was okay. He then countered with a proposal that if his team wins, Page doesn’t get a title shot. Page accepted the match. The part where Kenny alleged that Page was afraid of failure was good, but the rest of this didn’t work for me, and that’s because so much of it relies on overlooking AEW’s shoddy detail-work. Page’s story feels bogus because the elements of it have not been there consistently but rather only arise when it is convenient for the plot for them to matter. This segment as a whole is predicated on the fact that either the rankings we’re supposed to care about are actually completely irrelevant or Tony Khan is lazy as f*ck and has a million big, named episodes of Dynamite coming up and can’t get around to deciding that the world champion should defend his title against the #1 contender, etc.

Page saying “the Dark Order doesn’t back down from a challenge” could be seen as him accepting both membership in and leadership of the group.

I can’t help but notice that the fans are chanting “COYWBOY SH*T!” rather than “HANGMAN PAGE!” which has me worried that it’s not Page himself they’re into but the profane and silly chant. Then again, I suppose that it doesn’t matter as long as Page stays with the gimmick.
One idiot fan was simultaneously chanting “COWBOY SH*T!” while also vigorously throwing up the Elite/Bullet Club/Kliq/Wolfpac hand-signal with both hands. Would you ever go to a sporting event and cheer when both teams score? F*ck no. Pretend this is that (because that’s what we’re supposed to pretend it is) and PICK ONE.

ALEX MARVEZ INTERVIEWS CHRIS JERICHO- bad
Marvez asks Jericho what his thoughts are on the stipulations that MJF laid out in order for Jericho to get another match with him. Does Marvez just not pay attention to the show? Jericho made his thoughts pretty damn clear last week.
Jericho was kind enough to pretty much repeat what he said last week for Marvez’s benefit. He also managed to mispronounce Cerberus. Oops. He declared himself to be the “god of thunder” and god of war” (which I’m pretty sure he said last week, too), and then Shawn Spears just stepped into the frame and hit Jericho in the throat with a chair. I laughed my ass off at this, and I’m pretty sure that’s not the reaction they were going for.
Jericho coughed a lot while Spears held him and MJF told him that his first match would be against Shawn Spears next week, and the stipulation was that Spears could use a chair but Jericho couldn’t. Then Spears hit Jericho in the shoulder with the chair for good measure.
1. I thought going through MJF’s five hand-picked people was the stipulation that Jericho had to meet in order to get a match against MJF. They didn’t say anything about those matches having stipulations.
2. If MJF doesn’t want to face Jericho and he can pick any stipulation he wants, why stop there? Why not let Spears use other weapons, too? Or score a pinfall with a one-count, while Jericho has to pin Spears for six hours? Why not say that Jericho has to have both hands tied behind his back and his legs tied together and there will be eighty referees at ringside to ensure that the Inner Circle doesn’t get involved? And don’t tell me that “then Jericho won’t accept the result as being fair and will still come after MJF” because “Spears can use a chair and Jericho can’t” isn’t fair, either.

MATT HARDY vs. CHRISTIAN CAGE- 7/10
Matt sent his guys to the back during his entrance. He worked over Christian’s neck but Christian came back and got the clean win, overcoming a lot of stuff. More than I was expecting to see kicked out of in a midcard match with two veterans, quite frankly. Matt has a submission hold that I haven’t seen him use in AEW before that Excalibur is telling me that “no one has ever escaped from,” but he was also using it in TNA (and in his 2005 indy run) so I’m certain that someone has actually escaped it at some point.
Jim Ross brought up a very good point, which is if Christian is undefeated in four months in AEW, shouldn’t he be in the world title picture?

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- fine
The members of the Hardy Family Office who are around this week came out after the match but Luchasaurus and Jungle Boy came out to make the save. Christian got up on Luchasaurus’ shoulders like Jungle Boy usually does, which seemed to bother Jungle Boy for a moment.

MIRO VIDEO PACKAGE/PROMO- great!

TONY SCHIAVONE INTERVIEWS DR. BRIT BAKER, DMD- bad
Tony says what a few weeks ago we saw Nyla put Britt through a table, and now “everyone is concerned about your condition.” They are? That happened two weeks ago and I had completely forgotten about it… and it feels like AEW did, too, as Britt appeared on the show last week and I don’t think she said anything about it and seemed perfectly fine. She talked about REBA being hurt, but I don’t remember her saying anything about Nyla putting her through a table.
Britt then cut a promo on Nyla that… well… was a little too on point about how Nyla isn’t really a star in her own right. Vickie Guerrero and Nyla Rose were shown watching backstage and responded. Vickie was pointless and generic. Nyla was good… but Nyla came across like a wronged babyface. It feels like the roles in this feud shift from week to week, and that’s not a good thing because it makes it really hard for me to get invested in wanting to see either wrestler win.

JON MOXLEY PROMO- great
Saying that Archer has been trying to end his career feels a little paranoid, but other than that, this was great.

SAMMY GUEVARA vs. WHEELER YUTA (w/Chuck Taylr & Orange Cassidy)- 4.5/10
Apparently Wheeler YUTA is the Goof Patrol’s protégé. That’s a waste of Wheeler YUTA. Sammy won clean in a match that was all action and was absolutely tremendous for the 3:44 it got. It’s hard for me to imagine myself giving a higher rating to a match this short, and the amazing part is that it didn’t feel like they went out there and did a million spots at a million miles an hour, either.
The Bunny and The Blade were shown watching in the crowd. They’re part of the Hardy Family Office, but weren’t involved in the previous segment because… um… they’re in this feud instead, I guess? Stuff like that really drives me nuts. It feels like the booker is ignoring logic to try to force in some kind of bizarre rule that you can’t appear on TV in a segment for a different feud than the one you’re in.

TONY SCHIAVONE INTERVIEWS THE FACTORY- whatever
Q.T. was mean and some sort of dark liquid was poured on Tony. I wonder if Excalibur or Dasha or Marvez or someone like that pushed to get Tony hired so that they wouldn’t have to be the one to be tormented by the heels.
Coming back from this, Tony apologized for being bullied. What is wrong with this man?

PENELOPE FORD vs. YUKA SAKAZAKI- 6/10
Sakazaki wins clean in her return.

AEW RAMPAGE COMMERCIAL- bad
Someone watched a superhero movie and like the lightning effect too much.

COFFIN MATCH: Darby Allin vs. Ethan Page- 8/10
Darby charged right at Page even before the bell to start things off hot. He also revealed that he was wearing a steel plate on his back to make his initial running reverse splash hurt more. Then he took it off. Why?
Darby got cut off when Scorpio Sky popped out of the coffin to attack him. Sting came out to beat Sky up and brawled away with him through the crowd. We focused on them brawl for a while instead of the two actual participants in the match. Once we got back to them, it was the expected insanity and brutality, although it went a lot shorter than I was expected.
After the match, Darby hit a Coffin Drop onto (and through) the closed top of the Coffin. That felt unnecessary.


I thought this was a great episode of Dynamite, although just barely. It was quite good in the ring, and even the things that frustrated me did have their good bits. This promotion has a lot of potential, but there is a lot of mess to clean up, and- like with Vince in WWE, I don’t think that will happen due to the hubris of the power players in the company.

[cero2k]

MATT HARDY vs. CHRISTIAN CAGE- 7/10
Matt sent his guys to the back during his entrance. He worked over Christian’s neck but Christian came back and got the clean win, overcoming a lot of stuff. More than I was expecting to see kicked out of in a midcard match with two veterans, quite frankly. Matt has a submission hold that I haven’t seen him use in AEW before that Excalibur is telling me that “no one has ever escaped from,” but he was also using it in TNA (and in his 2005 indy run) so I’m certain that someone has actually escaped it at some point.
Jim Ross brought up a very good point, which is if Christian is undefeated in four months in AEW, shouldn’t he be in the world title picture?

Quick trivia, this was the first time in their career that Cage defeated Hardy in a singles match. They had their first match in 1998