BRM Reviews the 5/28/2019 Smackdown (started off great but fell off a cliff)

[Big Red Machine]

OPENING SEGMENT- short and sweet
First Owens come out and cuts a promo on Kofi in advance of their match, then Kofi came out and responded and they had their match. The interesting bit here is Owens’ being adamant that he didn’t take out Big E., which would make Big E. the type of despicable liar that Kofi spent this whole segment telling us that Owens was. And the attack did take place off screen, didn’t it? Hmmm...


KEVIN OWENS vs. KOFI KINGSTON- 8/10
Seventeen minutes of an excellent brawl with Owens working over Kofi’s midsection and a clean finish. This is what we want, Vince! They showed Ziggler watching on a monitor backstage.

IT’S GOING TO BE SHANE MCMAHON APPRECIATION NIGHT- kill me now
Also, Drew McIntyre is here, so our Wildcard Rule count is up to one. Or maybe two. We STILL don’t know Ziggler’s official status.

R-TRUTH BACKSTAGE ANTICS- stupid
He now thinks the Improper Fractions Championship is the European Title, and giving Carmella piggy-back rides is part of his gimmick now. They hid from Drake Maverick, who is still going around putting up posters. Wildcard number is still at one (or maybe two), as I will be nice and say that Drake Maverick is allowed to go wherever he wants because he is the GM of 205 Live.

KAYLA BRAXTON INTEERVIEWS DANIEL BRYAN & ERICK ROWAN IN THE RING- fine segment
They started off on a good note by pointing out that the tag division is empty, then went into cheap-heat “the animals have names” vegan stuff. Eventually Kayla revealed that Heavy Machinery want to challenge The Planet’s Tag Team Champions, and out they come. I can just imagine how wrong this feud will go in Vince’s incapable hands. Heavy Machinery want a tag title match and Bryan accepts the challenge... but “not here in this fracking state of Oklahoma.” Clever.

FIRE & DESIRE BACKSTAGE- meh
They’re giving out copies of Muscle & Fitness: Hers, which has Mandy on the cover. They’ve done a good job of subtly making Sonya very likable in relation to Mandy, even as she engages and indulges in Mandy’s arrogant and downright “I’m a total mark for myself” behavior, because she’s just so darn happy for her friend.
They eventually come across Ember Moon, who is reading Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. BOOO! She’s the f*cking “war goddess!” I don’t want to see her reading Stevenson, I want to see her reading Sun Tzu or Clausewitz! Don’t try to humanize Ember Moon. She’s supposed to be a badass ninja.
Mandy & Sonya were mean to Ember, with Sonya fully participating, so scratch everything I just wrote. I didn’t like this segment very much, but if it leads to Ember Moon getting a feud, I’ll go with it.

CARMELLA vs. MANDY ROSE (w/Sonya Deville)- 1.5/10
They gave Graves two copies of the magazine before the match. I’ll bet the pages are stuff together by the end of the week. R-Truth grew a brain and didn’t come out to ringside with Carmella. Mandy won after a distraction from Sonya in a short match.

RANDOM CUT TO BACKSTAGE FOR PEOPLE CHASING R-TRUTH- some people from 205 Live were there (Noam Dar, Akira Tozawa, and a third guy who was either Oney Lorcan dressed like Ariya Daivari or Airya Daivari without a tan), so that brings our Wildcard count up to either four or five, depending on Dolph’s status, and we know of at least one more, as Bayley has been advertised to wrestle Lacey Evans later tonight.

ALEISTER BLACK PROMO- bad
Oh yeah. These are a thing. This one was bad. He is waiting for someone to pick a fight with him. Dude... it’s a wrestling show. Just go out to the ring and say you want to fight someone.

SHANE MCMAHON APPRECIATION DAY- bad
Much time was wasted with Shane yammering on and on and on. He referenced Kevin Dunn, which got boos. He plugged his match at Super Showdown and there was a video package and stuff and oh my G-d can we just get to the part where Roman comes out and interrupts him so this can end already?
The Drifter started to sing and we were finally interrupted by... R-Truth running out of the crowd, chased by Drake Maverick and a referee. Truth stopped running, hit Drake with a move and pinned him, and his music played and the announcers talked about this “successful defense of the 24/7 championship.” So what? What’s to stop Drake Maverick from just getting up and going after Truth again? This is a title that you can’t really “defend” so much as you just try to avoid getting pinned, which incentivizes cowardice.
Shane and his crew beat up R-Truth just because, then Elias pinned R-Truth to become the new WWE 24/7 Champion. Then Shane booked Drew & Elias vs. R-Truth & Roman Reigns... and to make sure that Elias would be able to focus on this match, he suspended the 24/7 Rule until after the main event. Well if the heel authority figure can just suspend the rule whenever his friend has the title then why doesn’t he suspend it permanently?

KAYLA BRAXTON INTERVIEWS CHARLOTTE FLAIR & LACEY EVANS- They’re drinking tea together and cutting promos on Becky and Bayley. This was terrible.

BAYLEY vs. LACEY EVANS- 5.75/10
Charlotte was on commentary for this match, and got in Bayley’s face several times. One led to a finish of Bayley pinning Lacey, so Charlotte and Lacey started to fight, even though they’re on different shows, so expect more of the exact same people showing up on the other show in the coming weeks.

FINN BALOR WWE.COM PROMO FROM LAST WEEK- We see clips of him taking punishment in the MITB match and then saying doctors have told him he can’t compete tonight. Shouldn’t they have shown us this last week?

SARAH SCHREIBER INTERVIEWS ANDRADE “CIEN” ALMAS & ZELINA VEGA- decent promo by Andrade to build up to his IC Title shot against Balor at Super Showdown.

FIREFLY FUNHOUSE- same as Monday

ROMAN REIGNS & R-TRUTH vs. DREW MCINTYRE & “THE DRIFTER” ELIAS SAMPSON (w/Shane McMahon)- 6/10
The heels jumped Truth during his entrance. He was the babyface in peril for a while but then he made the hot tag to Roman, who beat up all three heels on his own, including pinning Elias. Then he hit Elias with another spear and Truth crawled onto him to make the pin and win the title back. “What a wonderful moment! R-Truth loses the 24/7 Title and regain it the same night.” I fail to see what is so wonderful about this.

This was a frustrating episode of Smackdown. It started off so well, then fell off a cliff into the usual boredom. It feels like the same sh*t is happening week after week.

[KILLdozer]

How do you go and fight with a guy who is ACTUALLY obviously in am undisclosed remote location though ? Lol.

[Bob-O]

RANDOM CUT TO BACKSTAGE FOR PEOPLE CHASING R-TRUTH- some people from 205 Live were there (Noam Dar, Akira Tozawa, and a third guy who was either Oney Lorcan dressed like Ariya Daivari or Airya Daivari without a tan), so that brings our Wildcard count up to either four or five, depending on Dolph’s status, and we know of at least one more, as Bayley has been advertised to wrestle Lacey Evans later tonight.

Hmmm... to be fair...

If the 24/7 Title is "any time, anywhere", people from Raw coming over to Smackdown in an attempt at the title shouldn't count against the Wildcard count.. the nature of the title would mean they don't need an invitation. Loopholes...

[Big Red Machine]

RANDOM CUT TO BACKSTAGE FOR PEOPLE CHASING R-TRUTH- some people from 205 Live were there (Noam Dar, Akira Tozawa, and a third guy who was either Oney Lorcan dressed like Ariya Daivari or Airya Daivari without a tan), so that brings our Wildcard count up to either four or five, depending on Dolph’s status, and we know of at least one more, as Bayley has been advertised to wrestle Lacey Evans later tonight.

Hmmm... to be fair...

If the 24/7 Title is "any time, anywhere", people from Raw coming over to Smackdown in an attempt at the title shouldn't count against the Wildcard count.. the nature of the title would mean they don't need an invitation. Loopholes...

It should have nothing to do with the Wildcard Rule. "The title is defended anytime, anywhere and is open to wrestlers from all brands" means that anyone can win it and there are essentially Falls Count Anywhere rules. That does not mean that a wrestler is allowed to break some other rule (i.e. go somewhere that some other rule prohibits him/her from going) in order to be in a position to win the 24/7 Title.



MAYBE it would be okay if everything was confined to backstage shenanigans and they didn't affect anything else happening on the other show, but the moment these people run into the ring during a match then they should be counted towards the Wildcard Rule (or else why is it any different than McIntyre running in on a Roman Reigns match on Smackdown?), and thus some of them (or people who show up after them) are subject to the penalties Vince described for crossing brands without Wildcard Rule authorization.


But this isn't even a debate we should have to be having because there is zero excuse for them not telling us. And the worst part is that I doubt the fact that we would be asking questions like these has even occurred to them. They couldn't even go one show without getting the Wildcard Rule straight, and now they've introduced something that by it's nature seems like it will interact with the Wildcard Rule but they clearly didn't think up those implications (we were never actually told that the 24/7 Champion is allowed to go to the other show, just that it is "open to wrestlers from" all brands; compare to the women's tag titles, where they specifically said the champs can go wherever they want), then we've got Dolph going for the SD Title even though he's on Raw but they never bring up the Wildcard Rule when he shows up on SD to attack Kofi like they do with other Wildcard Rule people...

Yes, the booking is bad and they make frustrating decisions about who to push and the verbiage the writers come up with can suck and the announcers stink and the Vince-speak is annoying, but I would find WWE a lot less frustrating to watch they if hired Lance Storm and after every show script is done they'd give it to Lance and he ask them any logic questions he has and no one leaves the meeting until Lance is satisfied with their answers, and then those answers are given to the announcers.


And it's not just this type of thing with rules either. if "the McMahons" are making various rulings then you need to explain to me why babyface Hunter (and Steph, I think?) are letting Shane go out there and f*ck with the babyfaces. Who let Brock into the MITB match? Who gave Charlotte that title shot against Asuka? These people don't think of the consequences of their decisions.

[Bob-O]

RANDOM CUT TO BACKSTAGE FOR PEOPLE CHASING R-TRUTH- some people from 205 Live were there (Noam Dar, Akira Tozawa, and a third guy who was either Oney Lorcan dressed like Ariya Daivari or Airya Daivari without a tan), so that brings our Wildcard count up to either four or five, depending on Dolph’s status, and we know of at least one more, as Bayley has been advertised to wrestle Lacey Evans later tonight.

Hmmm... to be fair...

If the 24/7 Title is "any time, anywhere", people from Raw coming over to Smackdown in an attempt at the title shouldn't count against the Wildcard count.. the nature of the title would mean they don't need an invitation. Loopholes...

It should have nothing to do with the Wildcard Rule. "The title is defended anytime, anywhere and is open to wrestlers from all brands" means that anyone can win it and there are essentially Falls Count Anywhere rules. That does not mean that a wrestler is allowed to break some other rule (i.e. go somewhere that some other rule prohibits him/her from going) in order to be in a position to win the 24/7 Title.



MAYBE it would be okay if everything was confined to backstage shenanigans and they didn't affect anything else happening on the other show, but the moment these people run into the ring during a match then they should be counted towards the Wildcard Rule (or else why is it any different than McIntyre running in on a Roman Reigns match on Smackdown?), and thus some of them (or people who show up after them) are subject to the penalties Vince described for crossing brands without Wildcard Rule authorization.


But this isn't even a debate we should have to be having because there is zero excuse for them not telling us. And the worst part is that I doubt the fact that we would be asking questions like these has even occurred to them. They couldn't even go one show without getting the Wildcard Rule straight, and now they've introduced something that by it's nature seems like it will interact with the Wildcard Rule but they clearly didn't think up those implications (we were never actually told that the 24/7 Champion is allowed to go to the other show, just that it is "open to wrestlers from" all brands; compare to the women's tag titles, where they specifically said the champs can go wherever they want), then we've got Dolph going for the SD Title even though he's on Raw but they never bring up the Wildcard Rule when he shows up on SD to attack Kofi like they do with other Wildcard Rule people...

Yes, the booking is bad and they make frustrating decisions about who to push and the verbiage the writers come up with can suck and the announcers stink and the Vince-speak is annoying, but I would find WWE a lot less frustrating to watch they if hired Lance Storm and after every show script is done they'd give it to Lance and he ask them any logic questions he has and no one leaves the meeting until Lance is satisfied with their answers, and then those answers are given to the announcers.


And it's not just this type of thing with rules either. if "the McMahons" are making various rulings then you need to explain to me why babyface Hunter (and Steph, I think?) are letting Shane go out there and f*ck with the babyfaces. Who let Brock into the MITB match? Who gave Charlotte that title shot against Asuka? These people don't think of the consequences of their decisions.

You ok man?

[Big Red Machine]

Hmmm... to be fair...

If the 24/7 Title is "any time, anywhere", people from Raw coming over to Smackdown in an attempt at the title shouldn't count against the Wildcard count.. the nature of the title would mean they don't need an invitation. Loopholes...

It should have nothing to do with the Wildcard Rule. "The title is defended anytime, anywhere and is open to wrestlers from all brands" means that anyone can win it and there are essentially Falls Count Anywhere rules. That does not mean that a wrestler is allowed to break some other rule (i.e. go somewhere that some other rule prohibits him/her from going) in order to be in a position to win the 24/7 Title.



MAYBE it would be okay if everything was confined to backstage shenanigans and they didn't affect anything else happening on the other show, but the moment these people run into the ring during a match then they should be counted towards the Wildcard Rule (or else why is it any different than McIntyre running in on a Roman Reigns match on Smackdown?), and thus some of them (or people who show up after them) are subject to the penalties Vince described for crossing brands without Wildcard Rule authorization.


But this isn't even a debate we should have to be having because there is zero excuse for them not telling us. And the worst part is that I doubt the fact that we would be asking questions like these has even occurred to them. They couldn't even go one show without getting the Wildcard Rule straight, and now they've introduced something that by it's nature seems like it will interact with the Wildcard Rule but they clearly didn't think up those implications (we were never actually told that the 24/7 Champion is allowed to go to the other show, just that it is "open to wrestlers from" all brands; compare to the women's tag titles, where they specifically said the champs can go wherever they want), then we've got Dolph going for the SD Title even though he's on Raw but they never bring up the Wildcard Rule when he shows up on SD to attack Kofi like they do with other Wildcard Rule people...

Yes, the booking is bad and they make frustrating decisions about who to push and the verbiage the writers come up with can suck and the announcers stink and the Vince-speak is annoying, but I would find WWE a lot less frustrating to watch they if hired Lance Storm and after every show script is done they'd give it to Lance and he ask them any logic questions he has and no one leaves the meeting until Lance is satisfied with their answers, and then those answers are given to the announcers.


And it's not just this type of thing with rules either. if "the McMahons" are making various rulings then you need to explain to me why babyface Hunter (and Steph, I think?) are letting Shane go out there and f*ck with the babyfaces. Who let Brock into the MITB match? Who gave Charlotte that title shot against Asuka? These people don't think of the consequences of their decisions.

You ok man?

... NO, I'M NOT OKAY! I want this f*cking company to make sense! It shouldn't be that hard! Hell, just show me that you're thinking about the consequences of things before putting them on your damn TV show! GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

[KILLdozer]

It should have nothing to do with the Wildcard Rule. "The title is defended anytime, anywhere and is open to wrestlers from all brands" means that anyone can win it and there are essentially Falls Count Anywhere rules. That does not mean that a wrestler is allowed to break some other rule (i.e. go somewhere that some other rule prohibits him/her from going) in order to be in a position to win the 24/7 Title.



MAYBE it would be okay if everything was confined to backstage shenanigans and they didn't affect anything else happening on the other show, but the moment these people run into the ring during a match then they should be counted towards the Wildcard Rule (or else why is it any different than McIntyre running in on a Roman Reigns match on Smackdown?), and thus some of them (or people who show up after them) are subject to the penalties Vince described for crossing brands without Wildcard Rule authorization.


But this isn't even a debate we should have to be having because there is zero excuse for them not telling us. And the worst part is that I doubt the fact that we would be asking questions like these has even occurred to them. They couldn't even go one show without getting the Wildcard Rule straight, and now they've introduced something that by it's nature seems like it will interact with the Wildcard Rule but they clearly didn't think up those implications (we were never actually told that the 24/7 Champion is allowed to go to the other show, just that it is "open to wrestlers from" all brands; compare to the women's tag titles, where they specifically said the champs can go wherever they want), then we've got Dolph going for the SD Title even though he's on Raw but they never bring up the Wildcard Rule when he shows up on SD to attack Kofi like they do with other Wildcard Rule people...

Yes, the booking is bad and they make frustrating decisions about who to push and the verbiage the writers come up with can suck and the announcers stink and the Vince-speak is annoying, but I would find WWE a lot less frustrating to watch they if hired Lance Storm and after every show script is done they'd give it to Lance and he ask them any logic questions he has and no one leaves the meeting until Lance is satisfied with their answers, and then those answers are given to the announcers.


And it's not just this type of thing with rules either. if "the McMahons" are making various rulings then you need to explain to me why babyface Hunter (and Steph, I think?) are letting Shane go out there and f*ck with the babyfaces. Who let Brock into the MITB match? Who gave Charlotte that title shot against Asuka? These people don't think of the consequences of their decisions.

You ok man?

... NO, I'M NOT OKAY! I want this f*cking company to make sense! It shouldn't be that hard! Hell, just show me that you're thinking about the consequences of things before putting them on your damn TV show! GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

The thing to me that becomes so off-putting is the zero , and lack of, progression. Over and over and over again. Becky Lynch did the same thing after WM for a month. Same promo every time. So did Kingston. So did Seth Rollins.

When you're just watching the same shit over and over and the announcers saying the same thing...it just becomes annoying.

[Big Red Machine]

The thing to me that becomes so off-putting is the zero , and lack of, progression. Over and over and over again. Becky Lynch did the same thing after WM for a month. Same promo every time. So did Kingston. So did Seth Rollins.

When you're just watching the same shit over and over and the announcers saying the same thing...it just becomes annoying.

And now Ziggler is doing it, too. And the same with the 24/7 Title, really. How many of these segments have been "champion gets chased around by a gaggle of wrestlers?" Pretty much all of them.
And they were doing this well before Mania, too. How many times did Corbin make fun of Balor's height and Balor respond by making fun of Corbin for losing. How many times did Rollins call Ambrose out but Ambrose didn't come. How many Corbin/Lashley/Drew/Drifter all beat down Braun/Balor/Drifter/Rollins segments did we get? Or Randy Orton and gross Jeff Hardy ear thing?
Or even just Lars running out and beating people up! Do you know what Brock Lesnar was doing a month into his televised WWE career? He was feuding with the Hardys over an actual issue! They need to plan in advance and then actually STICK TO IT. If that means you need to lock the old man in a closet then do it.