WWE Fast Lane
WWE Fast Lane (2/22/2015)- Memphis, TN
OPENING VIDEO PACKAGE- oh dear G-d this just… lame. SO LAME.
DOLPH ZIGGLER, ERICK ROWAN, & RYBACK vs. THE AUTHORITY (w/Joey Mercury & Jamie Noble)- 5.75/10
A pretty blah match, but with a great finish.
Jerry Lawler declared that â€"they say that the biggest beard has the right of way.†Yeah. I’m betting that the â€"they†part of this is untrue because â€"they†implies multiple people, and I’d be quite surprised if anyone other than Lawler has ever said that.
Also, not only did Lawler repeated his â€"C,D,E,&F-section†joke from Smackdown, but he made sure to let us know that he was recycling it.
POST-MATCH SEGMENT- the heels beat the babyfaces down after the match, but Randy Orton makes his return to make the save in what would have been surprising if the crowd hadn’t figured it out about a minute before it happened and hadn’t been chanting for Randy the whole time.
DUSTY & GOLDUST BACKSTAGE- AWESOME!
GOLDUST vs. STARDUST- 5/10
Stardust is wrestling without a shirt tonight. I didn’t like this. Cody always wrestled without a shirt. As Stardust, he always had one. It felt like a step backwards.
The match was okay, but it definitely felt like the right chapter of the story to tell at this show.
At one point during this match, a fan about two rows back in the crowd held up his/her hands, holding a Goldust mask in one and a Stardust mask in the other, and then started banging them against each other, like a little kid making actions figures fight. I honestly cannot recall the last time I laughed so hard at something on a wrestling show.
Jerry Lawler said the following about Stardust: â€"I think something’s happened to this guy. I don’t think he’s thinking right anymore.†Good job catching on, King.
CLIPS OF SETH ROLLINS & JON STEWART- this is a f*cking PPV! Save this sh*t for Raw. Also… I’m a little bit afraid that this could result in Jon Stewart being in Randy Orton’s corner at WresteMania.
THE RHODES FAMILY BACKSTAGE- awesome. CrazyDust for the win!
WWE TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH: The Usos(c) (w/Naomi) vs. Tyson Kidd & Cesaro (w/Natalya)- 6.75/10
KIDD & CESARO WIN!!!!!! And completely cleanly, too, which was surprising. I think it would really benefit this angle to just turn Nattie heel, and this would have been the best place to do it. Actually, if they want to save some time on the Mania card and also make this feud feel like it is actually escalating, they should turn Nattie heel and put the Diva’s Title on Naomi, then do a mixed tag match at WreslteMania with both titles on the line.
TRIPLE H CONFRONTS STING- was it well-executed? Yes. In fact, it was executed well enough to convince me that their match at Wrestlemania should be at least good. But it really just felt like a Raw segment in the middle of a PPV.
WWE DIVAS TITLE MATCH: Nikki Bella(c) (w/Brie Bella) vs. Paige- 1/10
Yeah… there were some bad phantom bumps in here.
CLIPS OF CAMERON & EVA MARIE AT THE OSCARS- remember what I said about things like the Seth Rollins-Jon Stewart deal belong on Raw, not on PPV Well this crap doesn’t even belong on Raw. In fact, it doesn’t even belong on tape. Is there anyone in the world that could possibly give a sh*t about Eva Marie and Cameron hanging out with Maria Menounos at the Oscars?
WWE INTERCONTINENTAL TITLE MATCH: Bad News Barrett(c) vs. Dean Ambrose- 5.75/10
The match was okay until the finish, which had Ambrose get DQed for not breaking in the corner. After the match Dean beat Barrett up and stole his title because… um…
Someone explain to me why Dean is the babyface here?
Oh. And to make things worse, Lawler insisted that Ambrose was merely â€"borrowing†the championship belt, which made me have very angry flashbacks to Sheamus stealing Del Rio’s car and F*CK YOU, LAWLER!
UNDERTAKER!
Or not. I figured out what they were doing after the first few druids came out, when the thought popped into my mind that â€"if this is just Bray Wyatt coming out, I’m gonna be pissed†and it was, so I was.
Bray taking a more direct route to getting Taker’s attention makes sense in the story, but once again, this really felt like a Raw segment.
WWE UNITED STATES TITLE MATCH: Rusev(c) (w/Lana) vs. John Cena- 8/10
I’m pretty sure Cena just kicked out of Baron Corbin’s finisher. And then he stole Daniel Bryan’s! Not cool, Cena. Not cool at all.
Other than that, this was awesome. Rusev worked over Cena’s back the whole match and even cheated with a low blow at the end, still Cena wouldn’t tap. Cena passing out was definitely the right finish for this match.
WINNER CHALLENGES FOR THE WWE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE IN THE MAIN EVENT OF WRESTLEMANIA: Roman Reigns vs. Daniel Bryan- 8.5/10
They told a great story with Bryan’s speed and technical prowess being matched up against Roman’s strength and brawling ability. The only thing I didn’t like was the whole â€"liver kick†spot and the bit that followed it because it felt like it distracted from this story.
This match reminded me a lot of the John Cena vs. Kurt Angle match from No Way Out 2005, where they used Angle to elevate Cena by putting Cena over in a high-quality match before going into his big coronating WWE Title victory at WrestleMania.
A very effective show from WWE, but it really felt like a great episode of Raw with two awesome matches at the end rather than a PPV.
OPENING VIDEO PACKAGE- oh dear G-d this just… lame. SO LAME.
DOLPH ZIGGLER, ERICK ROWAN, & RYBACK vs. THE AUTHORITY (w/Joey Mercury & Jamie Noble)- 5.75/10
A pretty blah match, but with a great finish.
Jerry Lawler declared that â€"they say that the biggest beard has the right of way.†Yeah. I’m betting that the â€"they†part of this is untrue because â€"they†implies multiple people, and I’d be quite surprised if anyone other than Lawler has ever said that.
Also, not only did Lawler repeated his â€"C,D,E,&F-section†joke from Smackdown, but he made sure to let us know that he was recycling it.
POST-MATCH SEGMENT- the heels beat the babyfaces down after the match, but Randy Orton makes his return to make the save in what would have been surprising if the crowd hadn’t figured it out about a minute before it happened and hadn’t been chanting for Randy the whole time.
DUSTY & GOLDUST BACKSTAGE- AWESOME!
GOLDUST vs. STARDUST- 5/10
Stardust is wrestling without a shirt tonight. I didn’t like this. Cody always wrestled without a shirt. As Stardust, he always had one. It felt like a step backwards.
The match was okay, but it definitely felt like the right chapter of the story to tell at this show.
At one point during this match, a fan about two rows back in the crowd held up his/her hands, holding a Goldust mask in one and a Stardust mask in the other, and then started banging them against each other, like a little kid making actions figures fight. I honestly cannot recall the last time I laughed so hard at something on a wrestling show.
Jerry Lawler said the following about Stardust: â€"I think something’s happened to this guy. I don’t think he’s thinking right anymore.†Good job catching on, King.
CLIPS OF SETH ROLLINS & JON STEWART- this is a f*cking PPV! Save this sh*t for Raw. Also… I’m a little bit afraid that this could result in Jon Stewart being in Randy Orton’s corner at WresteMania.
THE RHODES FAMILY BACKSTAGE- awesome. CrazyDust for the win!
WWE TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH: The Usos(c) (w/Naomi) vs. Tyson Kidd & Cesaro (w/Natalya)- 6.75/10
KIDD & CESARO WIN!!!!!! And completely cleanly, too, which was surprising. I think it would really benefit this angle to just turn Nattie heel, and this would have been the best place to do it. Actually, if they want to save some time on the Mania card and also make this feud feel like it is actually escalating, they should turn Nattie heel and put the Diva’s Title on Naomi, then do a mixed tag match at WreslteMania with both titles on the line.
TRIPLE H CONFRONTS STING- was it well-executed? Yes. In fact, it was executed well enough to convince me that their match at Wrestlemania should be at least good. But it really just felt like a Raw segment in the middle of a PPV.
WWE DIVAS TITLE MATCH: Nikki Bella(c) (w/Brie Bella) vs. Paige- 1/10
Yeah… there were some bad phantom bumps in here.
CLIPS OF CAMERON & EVA MARIE AT THE OSCARS- remember what I said about things like the Seth Rollins-Jon Stewart deal belong on Raw, not on PPV Well this crap doesn’t even belong on Raw. In fact, it doesn’t even belong on tape. Is there anyone in the world that could possibly give a sh*t about Eva Marie and Cameron hanging out with Maria Menounos at the Oscars?
WWE INTERCONTINENTAL TITLE MATCH: Bad News Barrett(c) vs. Dean Ambrose- 5.75/10
The match was okay until the finish, which had Ambrose get DQed for not breaking in the corner. After the match Dean beat Barrett up and stole his title because… um…
Someone explain to me why Dean is the babyface here?
Oh. And to make things worse, Lawler insisted that Ambrose was merely â€"borrowing†the championship belt, which made me have very angry flashbacks to Sheamus stealing Del Rio’s car and F*CK YOU, LAWLER!
UNDERTAKER!
Or not. I figured out what they were doing after the first few druids came out, when the thought popped into my mind that â€"if this is just Bray Wyatt coming out, I’m gonna be pissed†and it was, so I was.
Bray taking a more direct route to getting Taker’s attention makes sense in the story, but once again, this really felt like a Raw segment.
WWE UNITED STATES TITLE MATCH: Rusev(c) (w/Lana) vs. John Cena- 8/10
I’m pretty sure Cena just kicked out of Baron Corbin’s finisher. And then he stole Daniel Bryan’s! Not cool, Cena. Not cool at all.
Other than that, this was awesome. Rusev worked over Cena’s back the whole match and even cheated with a low blow at the end, still Cena wouldn’t tap. Cena passing out was definitely the right finish for this match.
WINNER CHALLENGES FOR THE WWE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE IN THE MAIN EVENT OF WRESTLEMANIA: Roman Reigns vs. Daniel Bryan- 8.5/10
They told a great story with Bryan’s speed and technical prowess being matched up against Roman’s strength and brawling ability. The only thing I didn’t like was the whole â€"liver kick†spot and the bit that followed it because it felt like it distracted from this story.
This match reminded me a lot of the John Cena vs. Kurt Angle match from No Way Out 2005, where they used Angle to elevate Cena by putting Cena over in a high-quality match before going into his big coronating WWE Title victory at WrestleMania.
A very effective show from WWE, but it really felt like a great episode of Raw with two awesome matches at the end rather than a PPV.