ROH The Nightmare Begins
ROH The Nightmare Begins (6/15/2012)- Charleston, WV
ALL NIGHT EXPRESS vs. CAPRICE COLEMAN & CEDRIC ALEXANDER- 6/10
A good athletic opener. Kenny King might have the highest vertical leap of any wrestler of all time.
MIKE MONDO PROMO- Horrible.
He says â€"Mondo and Richards! For the first time ever!†like its f*cking Hogan vs. Flair or something, when the reality is that it’s more like Kurt Angle vs. the Brooklyn Brawler. Then he claims that they have both â€"competed and beaten the best from all around the world.†Let’s examine this claim, shall we? Davey Richards has competed in Pro Wrestling NOAH and New Japan Pro Wrestling, even being a multiple time NJPW Jr. Heavyweight Tag Team Champion. He has wrestled against major stars of Dragon Gate through ROH, DGUSA and FIP, and faced DDT’s top star Kota Ibushi in ROH and Evolve. He has competed in major European tournaments such as the WXW 16 Carat Gold tournament, and the King of Europe Cup in 2007, where he faced representatives from promotions all over the world. Through his time in ROH and PWG, he has faced and beaten stars from all over the wrestling world.
Mike Mondo, on the other hand, has only been â€"all over the world†through his time in WWE, in which he just spent six months as a male cheerleader, and was routinely beaten up and humiliated despite his group having (at least) a 5-on-2 advantage. In other words, Mondo is blatantly lying about his own accomplishments to an audience that knows it isn’t true. This was somehow supposed to be the start of his babyface push.
He says that you’re not the best in the world until you’ve beaten Mike Mondo. I laughed uproariously at this.
DAVEY RICHARDS vs. MIKE MONDO- 6.75/10
Great showing by Mondo…but Mondo not taking the five more minutes makes no sense, based on his character! It also makes using this as the basis for this push he is getting even more ridiculous.
FOUR CORNER SURVIVAL PROVING GROUND MATCH: ROH TV Champion Roderick Strong (w/Truth Martini) vs. Adam Cole vs. Kyle O’Reilly vs. BJ Whitmer- 6/10
Kevin Kelly makes reference to Whitmer’s finisher being a submission move called the â€"Peruvian Necktie.†I have never seen or even heard of this move before, and I have seen pretty much ever match he has ever had in ROH. The match was good, but thing special. Cole gets the win to earn a TV Title match.
RADIO WARS MATCH: The Briscoes (w/BT) vs. Totally Awesome (w/Reevis)- 2.25/10
Each team had a local Radio DJ in their corner because the DJ’s had been trash talking each other as a way of hyping the show up. This was fine. What was not fine was Totally Awesome, who are just plain not even close to ROH quality. They were, of course, some of Cornette’s OWV guys. It’s funny how Cornette thinks that Colt Cabana won’t draw money, but a team composed of a crossdresser and a short flower child will.
To make matters worse, the Briscoes, top babyfaces, one of whom is in a big blow-off tonight) decided that distracting the referee and using a low blow was warranted to help them fight these chumps. Kevin Kelly had no problem with this, but got very upset when, in the very next spot, the DJ backing Totally Awesome decided to reach into the ring and trip Jay up. The final low-blow count wound up being 2-1, with the Briscoes to resorting to multiple low blows to beat these nobodies, even though they really didn’t seem to have much trouble taking them out when they wanted to. The finish saw Jay hit Silvio with a low blow, then hit him with a chokseslam (yes a chokeslam- it looked pretty good, though).
I get that they did this because they thought it would get them some mainstream press in town to help with the ticket sales, but why couldn’t they have booked someone better than Totally Awesome and actually had a good match?!
JAY LETHAL vs. MICHAEL ELGIN (w/Truth Martini)- 5.75/10
We got a stupid spot where they teased a fight between Martini and the referee because Martini had hopped up onto the apron and poked him in the chest. Later in the match, the ref saw Truth grab Letha’s ankle to stop him from doing a springboard, but he didn’t do anything about it.
Roddy came out to help Elgin, but later ran into the ring for no reason and wound up costing Elgin the match. Elgin and Roddy almost fight, but Truth manages to keep them from doing so. Elgin tells Roderick that, like the fans are saying, if they ever fight, Elgin will kill him. This was a good little post-match segment, but it would have worked a lot better if they had come up with a more natural way for Roddy to cost Elgin the match.
STEEN & CORNETTE SEGMENT- Very good. The biggest failing in this angle with Steen and Cornette, IMO, has been that Steen really hasn’t felt like â€"Wrestling’s Worst Nightmare.†In order for us to believe Cornette’s assertion that having Steen in the company (and especially as champion) could be its doom, we need some evidence. So far in 2012, we haven’t seen the walking public relations Sword of Damocles that 2010 Kevin Steen was. He hasn’t smack fans’ drinks over, or used a fan’s phone to take a picture of his genitals, licked things, etc. While we didn’t actually see it, hearing this anecdote about Steen threatening a potential sponsor is the sort of thing that ROH needs to play up for this angle to work.
ROH WORLD TITLE MATCH: Kevin Steen(c) (w/Jimmy Jacobs) vs. Eddie Edwards- 7.5/10
Great match. Lots of bickering back and forth between Corino and Cornette. It was annoying at times, but it also did a good job of getting the angle over, so I really can’t complain.
TEXAS DEATHMATCH: Charlie Haas vs. Jay Briscoe- 6/10
Apparently the â€"roots†of the Briscoe family are in West Virginia. Yeah, I can totally see that. Kevin Kelly and Jim Cornette played it up as if West Virginia were some sort of Briscoe ancestral homeland.
A disappointing end to a disappointing feud.
Kevin Kelly kept emphasizing that this was the first â€"Texas Deathmacth with the original rules†in over ten years. The original rules apparently are that you first need to be pinned… then there is a thirty second rest period… and AFTER the thirty second rest period, you have to answer a ten count or else you lose. Those might be the original rules, but the original rules are pretty stupid. After everything else that they got up from, we’re supposed to believe that that one shot with the can of ether was enough to put Charlie Haas down for nigh-on a full minute?
What the hell was the point of a school-boy in a Texas Death Match? How the hell is that going to keep Haas down for a ten-count afterwards? For some reason they also decided that they needed to do a ref bump in this Texas Death Match… and at a point in the match where it actually screwed the HEEL.
Am I the only one who face-palmed when Jay took the ether-soaked rag- this rag covered in this substance that Jim Cornette and Kevin Kelly have been telling us is so damn horribly dangerous- and threw it AT THE FANS? The match, of course, ends, with the heel valiantly struggling to get back to his feet and only just barely failing. This is the f*cking blow-off! It should have ended with the heel LAID OUT and totally unable to get back to his feet.
There was a lot of decent stuff on this show, but as a whole it felt disappointing because it really just wasn’t ROH quality. The disappointing blow-off between Jay and Haas was a major issue in this, it wasn’t the only one. Elgin vs. Lethal in particular really felt like it should have been more than it was, and Eddie vs. Steen was a very disappointing match for Steen’s first title defense. Unfortunately, these underwhelming title defense would become the trend until Cornette was replaced as booker after Killer Instinct. This show also marked the beginning of Mike Mondo's push so... YUCK!
STUPID ANNOUNCER QUOTES:
1. Cornette claims that Roderick Strong and BJ Whitmer â€"have had a storied past in Ring of Honor†against each other.
WHEN? They have had exactly FIVE matches against each other, and only one singles match. The closest they ever came to feuding was semi-random tag team title matches against each other.
2. Jim Cornette asks Corino why Kevin Steen refuses to train and get rid of his gut and look like a proper athlete. My answer: â€"who cares?†He won the title fair and square. Why does it matter what he looks like.
3. Cornette says that â€"WWF†is the WWE’s â€"proper initials,†as if calling it WWE is somehow wrong. Sorry, Jim, but that’s not how the world works. Vince was forced to change, and he embraced that change. By this point, so has everyone else. You should, too.
4. Cornette also rants about how the â€"entertainment wrestling companies have ruined the sport.â€
If â€"entertainment wrestling companies†are ruining wrestling, doesn’t that imply that wrestling is no supposed to be entertaining?
ALL NIGHT EXPRESS vs. CAPRICE COLEMAN & CEDRIC ALEXANDER- 6/10
A good athletic opener. Kenny King might have the highest vertical leap of any wrestler of all time.
MIKE MONDO PROMO- Horrible.
He says â€"Mondo and Richards! For the first time ever!†like its f*cking Hogan vs. Flair or something, when the reality is that it’s more like Kurt Angle vs. the Brooklyn Brawler. Then he claims that they have both â€"competed and beaten the best from all around the world.†Let’s examine this claim, shall we? Davey Richards has competed in Pro Wrestling NOAH and New Japan Pro Wrestling, even being a multiple time NJPW Jr. Heavyweight Tag Team Champion. He has wrestled against major stars of Dragon Gate through ROH, DGUSA and FIP, and faced DDT’s top star Kota Ibushi in ROH and Evolve. He has competed in major European tournaments such as the WXW 16 Carat Gold tournament, and the King of Europe Cup in 2007, where he faced representatives from promotions all over the world. Through his time in ROH and PWG, he has faced and beaten stars from all over the wrestling world.
Mike Mondo, on the other hand, has only been â€"all over the world†through his time in WWE, in which he just spent six months as a male cheerleader, and was routinely beaten up and humiliated despite his group having (at least) a 5-on-2 advantage. In other words, Mondo is blatantly lying about his own accomplishments to an audience that knows it isn’t true. This was somehow supposed to be the start of his babyface push.
He says that you’re not the best in the world until you’ve beaten Mike Mondo. I laughed uproariously at this.
DAVEY RICHARDS vs. MIKE MONDO- 6.75/10
Great showing by Mondo…but Mondo not taking the five more minutes makes no sense, based on his character! It also makes using this as the basis for this push he is getting even more ridiculous.
FOUR CORNER SURVIVAL PROVING GROUND MATCH: ROH TV Champion Roderick Strong (w/Truth Martini) vs. Adam Cole vs. Kyle O’Reilly vs. BJ Whitmer- 6/10
Kevin Kelly makes reference to Whitmer’s finisher being a submission move called the â€"Peruvian Necktie.†I have never seen or even heard of this move before, and I have seen pretty much ever match he has ever had in ROH. The match was good, but thing special. Cole gets the win to earn a TV Title match.
RADIO WARS MATCH: The Briscoes (w/BT) vs. Totally Awesome (w/Reevis)- 2.25/10
Each team had a local Radio DJ in their corner because the DJ’s had been trash talking each other as a way of hyping the show up. This was fine. What was not fine was Totally Awesome, who are just plain not even close to ROH quality. They were, of course, some of Cornette’s OWV guys. It’s funny how Cornette thinks that Colt Cabana won’t draw money, but a team composed of a crossdresser and a short flower child will.
To make matters worse, the Briscoes, top babyfaces, one of whom is in a big blow-off tonight) decided that distracting the referee and using a low blow was warranted to help them fight these chumps. Kevin Kelly had no problem with this, but got very upset when, in the very next spot, the DJ backing Totally Awesome decided to reach into the ring and trip Jay up. The final low-blow count wound up being 2-1, with the Briscoes to resorting to multiple low blows to beat these nobodies, even though they really didn’t seem to have much trouble taking them out when they wanted to. The finish saw Jay hit Silvio with a low blow, then hit him with a chokseslam (yes a chokeslam- it looked pretty good, though).
I get that they did this because they thought it would get them some mainstream press in town to help with the ticket sales, but why couldn’t they have booked someone better than Totally Awesome and actually had a good match?!
JAY LETHAL vs. MICHAEL ELGIN (w/Truth Martini)- 5.75/10
We got a stupid spot where they teased a fight between Martini and the referee because Martini had hopped up onto the apron and poked him in the chest. Later in the match, the ref saw Truth grab Letha’s ankle to stop him from doing a springboard, but he didn’t do anything about it.
Roddy came out to help Elgin, but later ran into the ring for no reason and wound up costing Elgin the match. Elgin and Roddy almost fight, but Truth manages to keep them from doing so. Elgin tells Roderick that, like the fans are saying, if they ever fight, Elgin will kill him. This was a good little post-match segment, but it would have worked a lot better if they had come up with a more natural way for Roddy to cost Elgin the match.
STEEN & CORNETTE SEGMENT- Very good. The biggest failing in this angle with Steen and Cornette, IMO, has been that Steen really hasn’t felt like â€"Wrestling’s Worst Nightmare.†In order for us to believe Cornette’s assertion that having Steen in the company (and especially as champion) could be its doom, we need some evidence. So far in 2012, we haven’t seen the walking public relations Sword of Damocles that 2010 Kevin Steen was. He hasn’t smack fans’ drinks over, or used a fan’s phone to take a picture of his genitals, licked things, etc. While we didn’t actually see it, hearing this anecdote about Steen threatening a potential sponsor is the sort of thing that ROH needs to play up for this angle to work.
ROH WORLD TITLE MATCH: Kevin Steen(c) (w/Jimmy Jacobs) vs. Eddie Edwards- 7.5/10
Great match. Lots of bickering back and forth between Corino and Cornette. It was annoying at times, but it also did a good job of getting the angle over, so I really can’t complain.
TEXAS DEATHMATCH: Charlie Haas vs. Jay Briscoe- 6/10
Apparently the â€"roots†of the Briscoe family are in West Virginia. Yeah, I can totally see that. Kevin Kelly and Jim Cornette played it up as if West Virginia were some sort of Briscoe ancestral homeland.
A disappointing end to a disappointing feud.
Kevin Kelly kept emphasizing that this was the first â€"Texas Deathmacth with the original rules†in over ten years. The original rules apparently are that you first need to be pinned… then there is a thirty second rest period… and AFTER the thirty second rest period, you have to answer a ten count or else you lose. Those might be the original rules, but the original rules are pretty stupid. After everything else that they got up from, we’re supposed to believe that that one shot with the can of ether was enough to put Charlie Haas down for nigh-on a full minute?
What the hell was the point of a school-boy in a Texas Death Match? How the hell is that going to keep Haas down for a ten-count afterwards? For some reason they also decided that they needed to do a ref bump in this Texas Death Match… and at a point in the match where it actually screwed the HEEL.
Am I the only one who face-palmed when Jay took the ether-soaked rag- this rag covered in this substance that Jim Cornette and Kevin Kelly have been telling us is so damn horribly dangerous- and threw it AT THE FANS? The match, of course, ends, with the heel valiantly struggling to get back to his feet and only just barely failing. This is the f*cking blow-off! It should have ended with the heel LAID OUT and totally unable to get back to his feet.
There was a lot of decent stuff on this show, but as a whole it felt disappointing because it really just wasn’t ROH quality. The disappointing blow-off between Jay and Haas was a major issue in this, it wasn’t the only one. Elgin vs. Lethal in particular really felt like it should have been more than it was, and Eddie vs. Steen was a very disappointing match for Steen’s first title defense. Unfortunately, these underwhelming title defense would become the trend until Cornette was replaced as booker after Killer Instinct. This show also marked the beginning of Mike Mondo's push so... YUCK!
STUPID ANNOUNCER QUOTES:
1. Cornette claims that Roderick Strong and BJ Whitmer â€"have had a storied past in Ring of Honor†against each other.
WHEN? They have had exactly FIVE matches against each other, and only one singles match. The closest they ever came to feuding was semi-random tag team title matches against each other.
2. Jim Cornette asks Corino why Kevin Steen refuses to train and get rid of his gut and look like a proper athlete. My answer: â€"who cares?†He won the title fair and square. Why does it matter what he looks like.
3. Cornette says that â€"WWF†is the WWE’s â€"proper initials,†as if calling it WWE is somehow wrong. Sorry, Jim, but that’s not how the world works. Vince was forced to change, and he embraced that change. By this point, so has everyone else. You should, too.
4. Cornette also rants about how the â€"entertainment wrestling companies have ruined the sport.â€
If â€"entertainment wrestling companies†are ruining wrestling, doesn’t that imply that wrestling is no supposed to be entertaining?