TNA Victory Road 2011
TNA Victory Road 2011 (3/12/2011)- Orlando, FL
NO DQ’S MATCH: Bully Ray vs. Tommy Dreamer- 5.25/10 (the action was more like 5.75, but certain spots in the match, as well as the moronic finish brought this down).
Apparently this is a No DQ’s match now. An unhyped gimmick match with no heat at all. Yup. I’m definitely watching TNA.
Okay… from a completely kayfabe POV: If you are Tommy Dreamer… why the hell would go grab a STUFFED ANIMAL to hit Bubba with, when there are tons of chairs and other things that were closer to you?
Ummm… why is there an already inflated, inflatable sex doll under the ring? And seriously… Tommy fills the ring with weapons, uses ONE of them… then ignores the others to go look under the ring… and the best thing he finds in an inflatable sex doll? And we later learn that there were tables RIGHT NEXT TO IT!
And Tenay needs to learn how to SELL MOVES as an announcer. When Tommy hit is finisher, the crowd popped huge, Taz went WHOA!... and Tenay just said “sweet DDT” and continued on with his sentence without ever changing tone.
Then Bubba calls Devon out… and luckily for Devon, he JUST HAPPENED to have brought his sons to this show, despite knowing that they would get involved in a match (and likely get hurt) even if he told them not to… and they all JUST HAPPENED to have a plan in place for just the occasion that was occurring in the ring, where Devon would use his sons, two people who aren’t trained wrestlers, as a distraction while he sneaks through the crowd to attack a man from behind, just like any good babyface would do.
Seriously, WTF? The crowd was chanting “WE WANT DEVON!” What is so hard about having Devon charge down the ramp to save his friend meet his hated rival, who has beaten up his children head-on? The crowd would have popped just as huge for it, and you can still do the damn 3-D through the table… but this way, DEVON LOOKS LIKE A BABYFACE!
Sarita cuts what I think was an anti-American promo. I’m not sure though, because it was all in a language that I, along with the majority of the TNA audience, ARE NOT FLUENT IT! SO DON’ CUT YOUR PROMO IN IT!
TNA KNOCKOUTS’ TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH: Angelina Love & Winter(c) vs. Sarita & Rosita- 4/10. The roll-up looked WAY too weak to hold someone down for that long. Blaming Velvet for it doesn’t make sense with the facts of the match. Hebner was dealing with ANGELINA when everything happened. Not Velvet.
OH COME ON! Now they are making people PAY for this Jarrett & Karen BS!
MATT MORGAN PROMO- AWESOME!
FIRST BLOOD MATCH: Matt Morgan vs. Hernandez- 4/10. COME THE F*CK ON! FAKE BLOOD! REALLY? What about a CLEAN FINISH is so hard for you morons to understand? And why didn’t Hernandez use the fake blood earlier? Why go for the chain when you have the fake blood?
GEM. ME PROMO- This was really stupid. More teasing of breaking up a tag team.
ULTIMATE X MATCH FOR THE TNA X-DIVISION TITLE: Kazarian(c) vs. Max Buck vs. Jeremy Buck vs. Robbie E (w/Cooke)- 8/10! Great match that told a very good story (not a story that I want to see, but it did tell that story very well.
EVEN MORE JARRETTS BS!- I am starting to wish that Kurt had killed them both with that axe to weeks ago.
BEER MONEY PROMO- Dumb. I fail to see how sexually harassing Christy Hemme proves a point about respect between wrestlers.
TNA WORLD TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH: Beer Money(c) vs. Ink Inc.- 7/10. Wow. I got REALLY into this match. Right at the end, they really made me believe that Ink Inc. was going to win. Not sure how I feel about the finish, though. This seemed like it was on the verge of being a breakout performance for Ink Inc. I guess I am only with the heel turn, though, since TNA only has two, one of which is doing X-Division Title stuff and the other of which is Gunnar & Murphy, so they need more.
AJ STYLES vs. MATT HARDY (w/Ric Flair)- 7.25/10.
ANDERSON PROMO- eh. This “I’m an a**hole” stuff is getting old.
#1 CONTENDER’S MATCH TO THE TNA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE: Mr. Anderson vs. Rob Van Dam- 7.25/10. I am trying to figure out why some fans didn’t want the match restarted. It was getting pretty good.
JEFF HARDY PROMO- Great.
We then get the same exact Sting video package that we saw on Impact. Apparently someone in TNA was listening to me when I said that this would have been better as a lead in to the World Title match. The problem is… now we have already seen it.
BISCHOFF CHANGES THE STIP- I actually liked this a lot. It made perfect kayfabe sense, and Bischoff’s promo was very good.
NO DQ’S MATCH FOR THE TNA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE: Sting(c) vs. Jeff Hardy- WHAT THE F*CK?! A F*CKING ONE MOVE SQUASH MATCH? THIS IS YOUR PPV MAIN EVENT? I can't believe I'm saying this, but I would actually ratehr have seen a FINGERPOKE OF DOOM-TYPE ANGLE THAN THIS SH*T! This PPV was actually getting GOOD! AND THEN THEY DO SH*T LIKE THIS! I have only given this rating once before (Jenna vs. Sharmell, obviously), but here we go: -10! That’s right… NEGATIVE TEN OUT OF TEN! THAT IS HOW BAD THIS WAS! ANYONE! I DARE ANYONE AT ALL TO DEFEND THIS COMPANY NOW! ANYONE?
Stupid Announcer Quotes:
1. Taz & Tenay’s assertion that everyone in ECW was friends completely poops on kayfabe. If they were such good friends, why did Bubba (& Devon, for that matter) break Beulah’s neck?
2. Tenay- “We’ve seen this bully side of Bully Ray really come to life here over the past few months”- WE GET IT! HE IS A BULLY! SHUT UP ALREADY!
3. Tenay- “Putting SoCal Val in jeopardy, swinging the Kendo Stick around the ringside area” YOU ARE A MORON, TENAY!
1) This phrasing makes it seem as if Tenay is criticizing a wrestler for swinging a weapon in a No DQ’s match, which is something so stupid that only… well… Mike Tenay would do it.
2) Tenay makes it sound like Bubba was being reckless, and almost hit Val by accident. This is clearly not what happened. Bubba wanted to use the chair Val was sitting in… so he RAN OVER TO HER, SHOUTED “MOVE BITCH!” AND SWUNG THE CANE AT HER ON PURPOSE! That is clearly not an accident, so why is Tenay making it sound like one?
4. Tenay “One of the trademark aspects of Team 3-D over the years was obviously the use of the table”- “Trademark aspects”? Stop trying to sound smart, Tenay. Everything you say indicates that you aren’t. Trying to use big words to overcomplicate your sentences just makes you sound even dumber.
5. Taz basically says that he finds women speaking Spanish not, making Sarita’s promo look like a joke, and screwing up any heat it may have gotten.
6. Tenay- “Has there ever been an obsession like this, between Winter and Angelina Love?”- Yes. Between Mickie James and Trish Stratus in the angle that this feud is ripping off (for those who don’t remember, Velvet Sky is playing the role of Ashley Massaro).
7. Tenay- “Communication issues on that dropkick attempt”- no there weren’t! Winter just MOVED OUT OF THE WAY! There is a HUGE difference between your own plan getting foiled and YOU screwing your own plan up! In fact, two seconds later, Tenay says “Winter was one step ahead.” This and the first statement ARE CONTRADICTORY, TENAY!
8. Taz- “It looks like he’s stuck in a guillotine or something. I don’t even know what the hell a guillotine looks like, but I guess it looks like that”- Then why would you say that something looks like it? Do you realize how dumb you are, Taz?
9. Taz and Tenay pretend that there has never been a double count-out or a draw in a #1 contender’s match, even though we have seen this situation before, back at No Surrender, and also with the Anderson vs. Hardy vs. Abyss match that lead to the main event of Victory Road 2010.
10. Tenay- “Now that Hulk Hogan has wrested control of TNA from Dixie Carter, how far will Immortal go to regain the power that comes with the TNA World Heavyweight Title”- again, they only needed the belts before as leverage in case the court decision went against them. It went in their favor. They have full legal power now! They don’t need the belts anymore!
NO DQ’S MATCH: Bully Ray vs. Tommy Dreamer- 5.25/10 (the action was more like 5.75, but certain spots in the match, as well as the moronic finish brought this down).
Apparently this is a No DQ’s match now. An unhyped gimmick match with no heat at all. Yup. I’m definitely watching TNA.
Okay… from a completely kayfabe POV: If you are Tommy Dreamer… why the hell would go grab a STUFFED ANIMAL to hit Bubba with, when there are tons of chairs and other things that were closer to you?
Ummm… why is there an already inflated, inflatable sex doll under the ring? And seriously… Tommy fills the ring with weapons, uses ONE of them… then ignores the others to go look under the ring… and the best thing he finds in an inflatable sex doll? And we later learn that there were tables RIGHT NEXT TO IT!
And Tenay needs to learn how to SELL MOVES as an announcer. When Tommy hit is finisher, the crowd popped huge, Taz went WHOA!... and Tenay just said “sweet DDT” and continued on with his sentence without ever changing tone.
Then Bubba calls Devon out… and luckily for Devon, he JUST HAPPENED to have brought his sons to this show, despite knowing that they would get involved in a match (and likely get hurt) even if he told them not to… and they all JUST HAPPENED to have a plan in place for just the occasion that was occurring in the ring, where Devon would use his sons, two people who aren’t trained wrestlers, as a distraction while he sneaks through the crowd to attack a man from behind, just like any good babyface would do.
Seriously, WTF? The crowd was chanting “WE WANT DEVON!” What is so hard about having Devon charge down the ramp to save his friend meet his hated rival, who has beaten up his children head-on? The crowd would have popped just as huge for it, and you can still do the damn 3-D through the table… but this way, DEVON LOOKS LIKE A BABYFACE!
Sarita cuts what I think was an anti-American promo. I’m not sure though, because it was all in a language that I, along with the majority of the TNA audience, ARE NOT FLUENT IT! SO DON’ CUT YOUR PROMO IN IT!
TNA KNOCKOUTS’ TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH: Angelina Love & Winter(c) vs. Sarita & Rosita- 4/10. The roll-up looked WAY too weak to hold someone down for that long. Blaming Velvet for it doesn’t make sense with the facts of the match. Hebner was dealing with ANGELINA when everything happened. Not Velvet.
OH COME ON! Now they are making people PAY for this Jarrett & Karen BS!
MATT MORGAN PROMO- AWESOME!
FIRST BLOOD MATCH: Matt Morgan vs. Hernandez- 4/10. COME THE F*CK ON! FAKE BLOOD! REALLY? What about a CLEAN FINISH is so hard for you morons to understand? And why didn’t Hernandez use the fake blood earlier? Why go for the chain when you have the fake blood?
GEM. ME PROMO- This was really stupid. More teasing of breaking up a tag team.
ULTIMATE X MATCH FOR THE TNA X-DIVISION TITLE: Kazarian(c) vs. Max Buck vs. Jeremy Buck vs. Robbie E (w/Cooke)- 8/10! Great match that told a very good story (not a story that I want to see, but it did tell that story very well.
EVEN MORE JARRETTS BS!- I am starting to wish that Kurt had killed them both with that axe to weeks ago.
BEER MONEY PROMO- Dumb. I fail to see how sexually harassing Christy Hemme proves a point about respect between wrestlers.
TNA WORLD TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH: Beer Money(c) vs. Ink Inc.- 7/10. Wow. I got REALLY into this match. Right at the end, they really made me believe that Ink Inc. was going to win. Not sure how I feel about the finish, though. This seemed like it was on the verge of being a breakout performance for Ink Inc. I guess I am only with the heel turn, though, since TNA only has two, one of which is doing X-Division Title stuff and the other of which is Gunnar & Murphy, so they need more.
AJ STYLES vs. MATT HARDY (w/Ric Flair)- 7.25/10.
ANDERSON PROMO- eh. This “I’m an a**hole” stuff is getting old.
#1 CONTENDER’S MATCH TO THE TNA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE: Mr. Anderson vs. Rob Van Dam- 7.25/10. I am trying to figure out why some fans didn’t want the match restarted. It was getting pretty good.
JEFF HARDY PROMO- Great.
We then get the same exact Sting video package that we saw on Impact. Apparently someone in TNA was listening to me when I said that this would have been better as a lead in to the World Title match. The problem is… now we have already seen it.
BISCHOFF CHANGES THE STIP- I actually liked this a lot. It made perfect kayfabe sense, and Bischoff’s promo was very good.
NO DQ’S MATCH FOR THE TNA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE: Sting(c) vs. Jeff Hardy- WHAT THE F*CK?! A F*CKING ONE MOVE SQUASH MATCH? THIS IS YOUR PPV MAIN EVENT? I can't believe I'm saying this, but I would actually ratehr have seen a FINGERPOKE OF DOOM-TYPE ANGLE THAN THIS SH*T! This PPV was actually getting GOOD! AND THEN THEY DO SH*T LIKE THIS! I have only given this rating once before (Jenna vs. Sharmell, obviously), but here we go: -10! That’s right… NEGATIVE TEN OUT OF TEN! THAT IS HOW BAD THIS WAS! ANYONE! I DARE ANYONE AT ALL TO DEFEND THIS COMPANY NOW! ANYONE?
Stupid Announcer Quotes:
1. Taz & Tenay’s assertion that everyone in ECW was friends completely poops on kayfabe. If they were such good friends, why did Bubba (& Devon, for that matter) break Beulah’s neck?
2. Tenay- “We’ve seen this bully side of Bully Ray really come to life here over the past few months”- WE GET IT! HE IS A BULLY! SHUT UP ALREADY!
3. Tenay- “Putting SoCal Val in jeopardy, swinging the Kendo Stick around the ringside area” YOU ARE A MORON, TENAY!
1) This phrasing makes it seem as if Tenay is criticizing a wrestler for swinging a weapon in a No DQ’s match, which is something so stupid that only… well… Mike Tenay would do it.
2) Tenay makes it sound like Bubba was being reckless, and almost hit Val by accident. This is clearly not what happened. Bubba wanted to use the chair Val was sitting in… so he RAN OVER TO HER, SHOUTED “MOVE BITCH!” AND SWUNG THE CANE AT HER ON PURPOSE! That is clearly not an accident, so why is Tenay making it sound like one?
4. Tenay “One of the trademark aspects of Team 3-D over the years was obviously the use of the table”- “Trademark aspects”? Stop trying to sound smart, Tenay. Everything you say indicates that you aren’t. Trying to use big words to overcomplicate your sentences just makes you sound even dumber.
5. Taz basically says that he finds women speaking Spanish not, making Sarita’s promo look like a joke, and screwing up any heat it may have gotten.
6. Tenay- “Has there ever been an obsession like this, between Winter and Angelina Love?”- Yes. Between Mickie James and Trish Stratus in the angle that this feud is ripping off (for those who don’t remember, Velvet Sky is playing the role of Ashley Massaro).
7. Tenay- “Communication issues on that dropkick attempt”- no there weren’t! Winter just MOVED OUT OF THE WAY! There is a HUGE difference between your own plan getting foiled and YOU screwing your own plan up! In fact, two seconds later, Tenay says “Winter was one step ahead.” This and the first statement ARE CONTRADICTORY, TENAY!
8. Taz- “It looks like he’s stuck in a guillotine or something. I don’t even know what the hell a guillotine looks like, but I guess it looks like that”- Then why would you say that something looks like it? Do you realize how dumb you are, Taz?
9. Taz and Tenay pretend that there has never been a double count-out or a draw in a #1 contender’s match, even though we have seen this situation before, back at No Surrender, and also with the Anderson vs. Hardy vs. Abyss match that lead to the main event of Victory Road 2010.
10. Tenay- “Now that Hulk Hogan has wrested control of TNA from Dixie Carter, how far will Immortal go to regain the power that comes with the TNA World Heavyweight Title”- again, they only needed the belts before as leverage in case the court decision went against them. It went in their favor. They have full legal power now! They don’t need the belts anymore!