By Big Red Machine
From August 16, 2019
PRIVATE PARTY vs. A BOY & HIS DINOSAUR (Jungle Boy & Luchasaurus) vs. INZANLEY RUDE (RJ Rude & Zane Bernardo)- 6.5/10
A decent opener, although it probably didn’t need to go quite so long.
PENELOPE FORD vs. TASHA STEELZ- 5.5/10
Good babyface vs. heel stuff.
NEW BACKSTAGE INTERVIEWER EMILY BATTLE BLOWS OFF HER JOB TO GO PARTY WITH PRIVATE PARTY - She ought to be fired for this.
MIKE VERNA vs. WRECKING BALL LEGURSKY - 5.5/10
Some fun big-man stuff
TRUST FUND PROMO - Fine cartoonish heel stuff
CAZ XL vs. THRILLRIDE (w/Ron Zombie & Jared Silberkleit) - 4.5/10
This was short and uncomplicated, but PERFECT for what it was. I’ve often used the word “cartoonish” as a pejorative, but Jared Silberkleit here was cartoonish in the best way possible. This match had a very 1980s WWF feel to it and was a lot of fun. They told their story perfectly, the crowd was into every moment of it, and f*cking Big Cass had excellent babyface charisma. This was great.
VIDEO PACKAGE FOR THE TAG TITLE MATCH - Okay… now THIS is cartoonish in the negative sense. VERY negative.
NEW TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH:
Jerry Lawler & Keith Youngblood(c) vs. Hollywood Royalty David Arquette & “King” Brian Anthony (w/Baron Von Vito) - 4/10
This was what you’d expect it to be. Lawler looked pretty damn good for his age. Jake Manning made the big run-in save for the babyfaces.
POST-MATCH SEGMENT- Fine. King Brian attacked Arquette after the match, so Lawler came out to make the save… with a Stone Cold Stunner. Arquette then hit Brian with a Diamond Cutter and showed Lawler respect via promo.
NZO PROMO - Excellent
BRIAN PILLMAN JR. vs. Nzo - 6.75/10
This wasn’t great for fourteen minutes, but it was Nzo proving that he can have a fundamentally sound match with solid psychology rather than just being the wacky brawler we all knew in WWE. This was his first match since getting fired from WWE, so he certainly had a lot to prove (not so coincidentally, it took place in the same building as his last match).
NO DISQUALIFICATIONS MATCH FOR THE NEW HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE:
Darby Allin(c) vs. Hale Collins - 6.75/10
They had a great video package/promo from Hale Collins before the match, talking about what this match and this building mean to him. For a match this big, this went a shockingly short seven minutes. They packed as much violence as they could into it, but I think this really should have gotten an additional ten minutes (they easily could have taken it from the main event).
J.T. DUNN PROMO - An over the top cartoonish heel promo. It also dragged on for WAY too long.
ROH WORLD TITLE MATCH:
Matt Taven(c) vs. J.T. Dunn - 8.75/10
Dunn jumped the bell on Taven and beat the crap out of him. The big spot was a SICK AA onto the ring steps. Taven eventually made a comeback working over the back, using a bunch of moves I’ve never seen him use in ROH. This was FANTASTIC. Despite this being a replacement match for Rey Fenix missing the show and it being an unannounced ROH World Title match on a non-ROH show, there was one nearfall in here where they made me totally forget all of that and think that Dunn was about to win the belt. This match has assuaged all of my fears about Taven’s current babyface turn in ROH.
JON MOXLEY vs. PENTA EL 0M - 4.75/10
There was WAY too much brawling in the crowd where we, the viewers at home, couldn’t see sh*t. Most of this match was just them hitting each other with weapons, and nothing particularly crazy, either. It was entertaining up to a point, but not very interesting. The finish saw Mox rip Penta’s mask off and hit the Death Rider when Penta went to cover his face.
POST-MATCH SEGMENT - HORRENDOUS! So after Moxley did what we were told earlier in the match is the single worst and most disrespectful thing you can ever do to a luchador, the notoriously short-tempered Penta el 0M… cut a nice little promo showing Moxley respect and getting the fans to petition Moxley to give him a rematch someday. Yes, really.
Moxley suggested that they have their rematch in AEW. My guess is that this was these two going into business for themselves.
This was pretty much a one-match show from NEW, but up until the disappointing main event, it was quite fun to watch. Nothing other than the main event dragged, and NEW certainly has a bit of a fun factor to it. Despite my many low ratings, you might want to check this one out for yourself.