WWF WrestleMania V
There will never be as good an opening package as "THE MEGAPOWERS EXPLODE"
Rockin Robin "sings" America the Beautiful: She sounds like she's singing it on karaoke for the first time. Jesse Ventura rips rips it.
King Haku w/Bobby Heenan vs Hercules
Haku has a cool entrance being carried on a throne thingie.
Heenan demands everyone bow, this gets huge heat
Hercules has cool entrance music, sounds like it's composed by John Williams
Haku attacks Hercules from behind, but Hercules fights back and knocks him out to the outside
Hercules stalks Bobby Heenan, and allows Haku to attack him from behind
Haku does a double backbreaker move which was awesome
-Rest hold
-I could watch Haku do strikes all day
-Big crossbody by Herc which was surprising
-Herc gets hit with a crescent during a dive, but moves out of the way of a diving headbutt
Nice backdrop suplex
- 6.5/10
The Rocker interviews- Shawn cuts an okay promo. Marty cuts a promo like he's on coke
The Rockers vs The Twin Towers w/Slick
Goofy chase spot to start. Jesse at least makes it sound logical
-Missle dropkick to the back of the head looked disgusting
- Shawn Micheals does a moonwalk in response to Akeem's jive and gets booed
-Bearhug/Body splash combo by The Towers
-Double Avalanche by The Towers
-Nice and quick hot tag spot for The Rockers, there needs to be more of these in wrestling
-Shawn does a dropkick into the ring and Akeem no sells it
-Jesse is ripping the rockers for their double teaming
-The Rockers try for double missle dropkicks from opposite corners. They would have murdered Bossman if both had hit.
-The Towers win
7/10
Ted Dibiase promo: Great! He sold me on a match that seems to have a stupid build to it
Ted Dibiase vs Brutus Beefcake
Ted Dibiase isn't the same without the music.
-They keep talking about Ted not beating anybody for Million Dollar belt, and it not being on the line. He made it himself! It's not a formal belt
-Anyway, this was a bad match that ended in a double countout
4/10
Bushwackers eat food while Alfred Hayes tries to interview them: Bad
The Bushwackers vs The Fabulous Rougeau Brothers w/ Jimmy Hart
-They grab Jimmy Hart's coat, Jimmy goes to grab it and gets sandwiched in a double whip spot. That was funny
-Gorilla goes into some xenophobic shit on commentary
- I love the headlock ram attack double team
-On a scoop slam, one of the bushwackers gives Raymond a rub on the crotch
-The Rougeaus celebrate prematurely and lose because of it.
3/10 this sucks
The Bushwackers lick Sean Mooney. Poor bastard
Mr.Perfect vs The Blue Blazer
-Lots of cool moves by Blazer
-I think Blazer got the most height I've ever seen on a top rope splash
-Blazer got a two count on a crucifix pin and then hit, some guy in the crowd loses his mind laughing, like he bet money on Perfect
6.5/10
Jesse poses for the crowd, fun to see people cheering for Jesse
Wrestlemania 5K run: Mr Fuji enters and cuts a promo for Powers of Pain. Fuji gets a head start but is engulfed by the crowd amazing.
Powers of Pain and Mr.Fuji vs Demolition for the WWE Tag Team Championship
Demolition promo: Very shouty, they want to kill Mr.Fuji. Great
-Why is Mr Fuji wearing tights with a Korean flag on them.
-Another bleh match
4.5/10
Ronnie Garvin vs Dino Bravo w/ Frenchie Martin
Superfly Jimmy Snuka shows up and gets a longer entrance than the people in the ring, only to leave
Garvin is the underdog for the entire match but loses anyway, but then attacks Garvin and Bravo anyway to get the non existent heat back
1/10
Brain Busters w/Bobby Heenan vs Strike Force
The crowd goes wild for a double figure 4 spot
-Santana hits Martel with the forearm and that starts the momentum slip
-Tully tags Arn in a craddle, and Arn holds Santana in for the stomps, cool spot
- Rick walks out, Tito tries to fight back but loses
5/10
Rick Martel interview: Says Tito's timing was way off and he's been carrying Tito since the formation of the team. Gene looks fuming angry
Brother Love/Pipers Pit segment
It's the one where Piper sprays that guy with the fire extinguisher.
Mega Powers video package: Shows the notable moments in history with the team. Macho Man only runs down when Hogan absolutely needs it, but Hogan seems fine running in to get the spotlight. And.....who's the heel here?
Hogan promo: Typical, subtly buries Macho and tells us Hulkamania was ahead of madness. He also says something about jealousy but Hogan was clearly the one who was macking on Elizabeth. Again, who's the heel. Also Hulk Hogan is obsessed with the trump tower collapsing into the Earth, as he made the same promo at WM4
Andre the Giant w/ Bobby Heenan vs Jake The Snake Roberts (Big John Studd is the referee)
Immediately Andre gets the heat with an exposed turnbuckle pad. This was pretty cool to do right out of the gate
-Andre looks like a badass in this match
-Ted Dibiase tries to steal the snake but Jake cuts him off, meanwhile Andre goes at it with Studd and gets a DQ.
Sean Mooney interviews some goober: bad
Sensational Sherri interview: eh
Honky Tonk Man and Greg Valentine w/ Jimmy Hart vs The Hart Foundation
7.5/10 best match so far
Package about the posedown at Royal Rumble 89: Awesome, Rude looked like a dirty heel, and Warrior looked like a badass angrily attacking the agents who were leading him to the back
Ultimate Warrior vs Rick Rude w/Bobby Heenan for the Intercontinental Championship
-Rude tries to attack Warrior with a knee while he still has the belt on.
-Rude bumps around like a boss for Warrior
-Rude pokes Warrior in the eye to break a bear hug, when he goes to do it again, the ref stops him
-Warrior does his rope shake to break submission hold, followed by some stupid face busters
Heenan hangs on to Warrior's feet during a pin to secure the win for Rude!
And then Warrior gets his heat back by nearly killing Heenan on the world's ugliest press slam
7/10
Hacksaw Jim Duggan vs Bad News Brown
If you're gonna have a match end in a double DQ it might as well be a chair/2x4 duel spot
2/10
Red Rooster interview: Not a bad promo until he mentioned the barn yard
The Red Rooster vs Bobby Heenan w/Brooklyn Brawler
It was fun because it went like 30 seconds. No Rating
Miss Elizabeth interview: Good, she sounded angelic, also sad that her two men were fighting
Macho Man Randy Savage vs Hulk Hogan for the WWE Title (Miss Elizabeth is in a neutral corner
-Jesse asks some real questions in the entrances: Like why is Elizabeth allowed at ringside, why is Savage, the champ, coming out first?
-Oh shit, after the stalling we get some chain wrestling
-Macho Man is a dirty heel
-Hogan bleeds that part looks really cool
-Hogan slams Macho over the top!
-Macho Man's diving stuff is so great
-Hogan kicked out of the Elbow Drop way too early, should've been a 2 7/8s, and it was more like 2 1/3rd
Big leg, and Hogan wins
7.5/10
Conclusion
A problem these old PPVs had was that they had so many enhancement matches that were terrible. The tag match was second to none, but anything in the singles department that wasn't advertised was bad.
Rockin Robin "sings" America the Beautiful: She sounds like she's singing it on karaoke for the first time. Jesse Ventura rips rips it.
King Haku w/Bobby Heenan vs Hercules
Haku has a cool entrance being carried on a throne thingie.
Heenan demands everyone bow, this gets huge heat
Hercules has cool entrance music, sounds like it's composed by John Williams
Haku attacks Hercules from behind, but Hercules fights back and knocks him out to the outside
Hercules stalks Bobby Heenan, and allows Haku to attack him from behind
Haku does a double backbreaker move which was awesome
-Rest hold
-I could watch Haku do strikes all day
-Big crossbody by Herc which was surprising
-Herc gets hit with a crescent during a dive, but moves out of the way of a diving headbutt
Nice backdrop suplex
- 6.5/10
The Rocker interviews- Shawn cuts an okay promo. Marty cuts a promo like he's on coke
The Rockers vs The Twin Towers w/Slick
Goofy chase spot to start. Jesse at least makes it sound logical
-Missle dropkick to the back of the head looked disgusting
- Shawn Micheals does a moonwalk in response to Akeem's jive and gets booed
-Bearhug/Body splash combo by The Towers
-Double Avalanche by The Towers
-Nice and quick hot tag spot for The Rockers, there needs to be more of these in wrestling
-Shawn does a dropkick into the ring and Akeem no sells it
-Jesse is ripping the rockers for their double teaming
-The Rockers try for double missle dropkicks from opposite corners. They would have murdered Bossman if both had hit.
-The Towers win
7/10
Ted Dibiase promo: Great! He sold me on a match that seems to have a stupid build to it
Ted Dibiase vs Brutus Beefcake
Ted Dibiase isn't the same without the music.
-They keep talking about Ted not beating anybody for Million Dollar belt, and it not being on the line. He made it himself! It's not a formal belt
-Anyway, this was a bad match that ended in a double countout
4/10
Bushwackers eat food while Alfred Hayes tries to interview them: Bad
The Bushwackers vs The Fabulous Rougeau Brothers w/ Jimmy Hart
-They grab Jimmy Hart's coat, Jimmy goes to grab it and gets sandwiched in a double whip spot. That was funny
-Gorilla goes into some xenophobic shit on commentary
- I love the headlock ram attack double team
-On a scoop slam, one of the bushwackers gives Raymond a rub on the crotch
-The Rougeaus celebrate prematurely and lose because of it.
3/10 this sucks
The Bushwackers lick Sean Mooney. Poor bastard
Mr.Perfect vs The Blue Blazer
-Lots of cool moves by Blazer
-I think Blazer got the most height I've ever seen on a top rope splash
-Blazer got a two count on a crucifix pin and then hit, some guy in the crowd loses his mind laughing, like he bet money on Perfect
6.5/10
Jesse poses for the crowd, fun to see people cheering for Jesse
Wrestlemania 5K run: Mr Fuji enters and cuts a promo for Powers of Pain. Fuji gets a head start but is engulfed by the crowd amazing.
Powers of Pain and Mr.Fuji vs Demolition for the WWE Tag Team Championship
Demolition promo: Very shouty, they want to kill Mr.Fuji. Great
-Why is Mr Fuji wearing tights with a Korean flag on them.
-Another bleh match
4.5/10
Ronnie Garvin vs Dino Bravo w/ Frenchie Martin
Superfly Jimmy Snuka shows up and gets a longer entrance than the people in the ring, only to leave
Garvin is the underdog for the entire match but loses anyway, but then attacks Garvin and Bravo anyway to get the non existent heat back
1/10
Brain Busters w/Bobby Heenan vs Strike Force
The crowd goes wild for a double figure 4 spot
-Santana hits Martel with the forearm and that starts the momentum slip
-Tully tags Arn in a craddle, and Arn holds Santana in for the stomps, cool spot
- Rick walks out, Tito tries to fight back but loses
5/10
Rick Martel interview: Says Tito's timing was way off and he's been carrying Tito since the formation of the team. Gene looks fuming angry
Brother Love/Pipers Pit segment
It's the one where Piper sprays that guy with the fire extinguisher.
Mega Powers video package: Shows the notable moments in history with the team. Macho Man only runs down when Hogan absolutely needs it, but Hogan seems fine running in to get the spotlight. And.....who's the heel here?
Hogan promo: Typical, subtly buries Macho and tells us Hulkamania was ahead of madness. He also says something about jealousy but Hogan was clearly the one who was macking on Elizabeth. Again, who's the heel. Also Hulk Hogan is obsessed with the trump tower collapsing into the Earth, as he made the same promo at WM4
Andre the Giant w/ Bobby Heenan vs Jake The Snake Roberts (Big John Studd is the referee)
Immediately Andre gets the heat with an exposed turnbuckle pad. This was pretty cool to do right out of the gate
-Andre looks like a badass in this match
-Ted Dibiase tries to steal the snake but Jake cuts him off, meanwhile Andre goes at it with Studd and gets a DQ.
Sean Mooney interviews some goober: bad
Sensational Sherri interview: eh
Honky Tonk Man and Greg Valentine w/ Jimmy Hart vs The Hart Foundation
7.5/10 best match so far
Package about the posedown at Royal Rumble 89: Awesome, Rude looked like a dirty heel, and Warrior looked like a badass angrily attacking the agents who were leading him to the back
Ultimate Warrior vs Rick Rude w/Bobby Heenan for the Intercontinental Championship
-Rude tries to attack Warrior with a knee while he still has the belt on.
-Rude bumps around like a boss for Warrior
-Rude pokes Warrior in the eye to break a bear hug, when he goes to do it again, the ref stops him
-Warrior does his rope shake to break submission hold, followed by some stupid face busters
Heenan hangs on to Warrior's feet during a pin to secure the win for Rude!
And then Warrior gets his heat back by nearly killing Heenan on the world's ugliest press slam
7/10
Hacksaw Jim Duggan vs Bad News Brown
If you're gonna have a match end in a double DQ it might as well be a chair/2x4 duel spot
2/10
Red Rooster interview: Not a bad promo until he mentioned the barn yard
The Red Rooster vs Bobby Heenan w/Brooklyn Brawler
It was fun because it went like 30 seconds. No Rating
Miss Elizabeth interview: Good, she sounded angelic, also sad that her two men were fighting
Macho Man Randy Savage vs Hulk Hogan for the WWE Title (Miss Elizabeth is in a neutral corner
-Jesse asks some real questions in the entrances: Like why is Elizabeth allowed at ringside, why is Savage, the champ, coming out first?
-Oh shit, after the stalling we get some chain wrestling
-Macho Man is a dirty heel
-Hogan bleeds that part looks really cool
-Hogan slams Macho over the top!
-Macho Man's diving stuff is so great
-Hogan kicked out of the Elbow Drop way too early, should've been a 2 7/8s, and it was more like 2 1/3rd
Big leg, and Hogan wins
7.5/10
Conclusion
A problem these old PPVs had was that they had so many enhancement matches that were terrible. The tag match was second to none, but anything in the singles department that wasn't advertised was bad.