BRM Reviews the 9/20/2012 Impact
Posted: Sep 24th, '12, 12:36
SHAQ & HOGAN SEGMENT-as horrifying as Shaq beating up Aces & Eights guys would be to my booking sensibilities, there is a small part of me that would like to see some ShaqFu.
KURT ANGLE & AJ STYLES vs. CHAVO GUERRERO JR. & HERNANDEZ- 6/10
Good match and chose the right finish here.
THE CAMERA GUY INTERVIEWS AL SNOW- AWESOME!
GUT CHECK MATCH- the kid really got the crowd into the match, which no other Gut Check contestant has even come close to doing. He didn’t get much offense in, but he really seems to have a lot of potential. My one complaint is that the kid tapped too quickly.
JAMES STORM PROMO- great… Then Roode says no, but Hogan threatens to suspend him without pay if he doesn’t- good. Finally, there is a consequence for not fighting on Open Fight Night.
JAMES STORM vs. BOBBY ROODE- 6/10
A decent brawl, but I think that a much better way to do this would have been to have Roode just kick Storm in the nuts. Roode gets away with technically obeying the rules but we still don’t get the match between those two (which should happen at BFG), plus Roode kicking Storm in the nuts adds more heat to the feud.
TARA PROMO- apparently someone flipped the magical switch in her head, and Tara is now a heel. And that someone is a random new boyfriend. I’m really not sure why she decided to bully Christie Hemme around, though (other than “because she is a heel now”). Foolkiller99 on Youtube has pretty much summed up by feelings here in his review.
TARA & BROOKE BACKSTAGE- bad.
WAIT… did they say that the TV Title would be defended next week? Is Devon coming back?
HULK HOGAN PROMO- Bad. Hulk starts off his promo by saying:
“You know, this place is getting so red hot I’m about to break out the spray-paint can and paint everybody TNA dead around here.”
I’m not sure what the hell this means, but as near as I can tell, Hulk just announced his intention to murder everyone.
The Hulk goes onto say that it wasn’t cool for Aces & Eights to take Joseph Park (Hulk keeps saying Parks, though… if you are going to send a man on a dangerous mission, it is the least you can do to learn his name first) because he “was just a man doing his job for me.” You know who else was a “just a man doing his job for” someone? The member of Aces & Eights who you caught in the Impact Zone a few weeks ago? You know… THE ONE WHO YOU TORTURED!
Apparently Hogan has agreed to go to Aces & Eights “clubhouse” next week if Aces & Eights agree to release Park. Fine.
Then Aces & Eights break into the feed and destroy Park’s computer. Joseph is upset because that was “weeks of work!” You’re a lawyer Joseph! Don’t you back up your important projects?! Then Joseph Park is dumb enough to tell Aces & Eights that he has memorized all of the info… so, of course, they beat him in the head with the hammer they had been threatening him with.
AUSTIN ARIES PROMO- okay
BULLY RAY PROMO- Obnoxious. And not in the heel way. In the “this gimmick annoys me” way. It’s not that what Bubba says is annoying. It is his need to say it four different times in a row.
AUSTIN ARIES vs. BULLY RAY- 6/10
Not good enough for a main event. So they are going to be adding Bubba to the match at BFG… but first they decided it was a good idea to have Jeff make him look like a chump?
Overall, not an okay episode of Impact.
STUPID ANNOUNCER QUOTES:
1. Taz & Tenay aren’t certain if Aries is jealous of Jeff Hardy- Are you kidding me?! Aries flat out said “I want what you have.” That is the DICTIONARY DEFINITION of jealousy! I swear, if you stuck a gun in their faces and said “give me all of your money or I will shoot you!” Taz and Tenay wouldn’t be sure if you were mugging them or not!
KURT ANGLE & AJ STYLES vs. CHAVO GUERRERO JR. & HERNANDEZ- 6/10
Good match and chose the right finish here.
THE CAMERA GUY INTERVIEWS AL SNOW- AWESOME!
GUT CHECK MATCH- the kid really got the crowd into the match, which no other Gut Check contestant has even come close to doing. He didn’t get much offense in, but he really seems to have a lot of potential. My one complaint is that the kid tapped too quickly.
JAMES STORM PROMO- great… Then Roode says no, but Hogan threatens to suspend him without pay if he doesn’t- good. Finally, there is a consequence for not fighting on Open Fight Night.
JAMES STORM vs. BOBBY ROODE- 6/10
A decent brawl, but I think that a much better way to do this would have been to have Roode just kick Storm in the nuts. Roode gets away with technically obeying the rules but we still don’t get the match between those two (which should happen at BFG), plus Roode kicking Storm in the nuts adds more heat to the feud.
TARA PROMO- apparently someone flipped the magical switch in her head, and Tara is now a heel. And that someone is a random new boyfriend. I’m really not sure why she decided to bully Christie Hemme around, though (other than “because she is a heel now”). Foolkiller99 on Youtube has pretty much summed up by feelings here in his review.
TARA & BROOKE BACKSTAGE- bad.
WAIT… did they say that the TV Title would be defended next week? Is Devon coming back?
HULK HOGAN PROMO- Bad. Hulk starts off his promo by saying:
“You know, this place is getting so red hot I’m about to break out the spray-paint can and paint everybody TNA dead around here.”
I’m not sure what the hell this means, but as near as I can tell, Hulk just announced his intention to murder everyone.
The Hulk goes onto say that it wasn’t cool for Aces & Eights to take Joseph Park (Hulk keeps saying Parks, though… if you are going to send a man on a dangerous mission, it is the least you can do to learn his name first) because he “was just a man doing his job for me.” You know who else was a “just a man doing his job for” someone? The member of Aces & Eights who you caught in the Impact Zone a few weeks ago? You know… THE ONE WHO YOU TORTURED!
Apparently Hogan has agreed to go to Aces & Eights “clubhouse” next week if Aces & Eights agree to release Park. Fine.
Then Aces & Eights break into the feed and destroy Park’s computer. Joseph is upset because that was “weeks of work!” You’re a lawyer Joseph! Don’t you back up your important projects?! Then Joseph Park is dumb enough to tell Aces & Eights that he has memorized all of the info… so, of course, they beat him in the head with the hammer they had been threatening him with.
AUSTIN ARIES PROMO- okay
BULLY RAY PROMO- Obnoxious. And not in the heel way. In the “this gimmick annoys me” way. It’s not that what Bubba says is annoying. It is his need to say it four different times in a row.
AUSTIN ARIES vs. BULLY RAY- 6/10
Not good enough for a main event. So they are going to be adding Bubba to the match at BFG… but first they decided it was a good idea to have Jeff make him look like a chump?
Overall, not an okay episode of Impact.
STUPID ANNOUNCER QUOTES:
1. Taz & Tenay aren’t certain if Aries is jealous of Jeff Hardy- Are you kidding me?! Aries flat out said “I want what you have.” That is the DICTIONARY DEFINITION of jealousy! I swear, if you stuck a gun in their faces and said “give me all of your money or I will shoot you!” Taz and Tenay wouldn’t be sure if you were mugging them or not!