BRM Reviews the 4/19/2012 Impact

[Big Red Machine]

OPENING SEGMENT- I usually like segments like this, but I just couldn’t get into this one, and I think that a lot of that had to do with the man who was missing from this segment: James Storm. The man who they have been building up for months to take the title from Roode. A man who, when you look at all of the other challengers in TNA who have gotten rematches despite losing cleanly, absolutely deserves another shot.

BULLY RAY & CRIMSON vs. MATT MORGAN & AUSTIN ARIES- 5.25/10
Was going well, but it seemed to end slightly abruptly. Aries’ push is going well though.

JEFF HARDY PROMO- not bad

GARRETT BISCHOFF & RIC FLAIR SEGMENT- OH COME ON! I thought we were done with this crap. Does anyone really buy FLAIR wanting to hold a tribute ceremony for Eric Bischoff. Also, who in the company likes Bischoff enough to give Flair the air-time to hold a ceremony for him? Sting? No. Dixie? No. Hogan? Maybe.

SEGMENT WITH THE CHAMPIONS BACKSTAGE- pointless.

AJ STYLES vs. KURT ANGLE- DUD!
Why did this have to be a match? Why not just have Daniels and Kaz GIVE AJ AN ENVELOPE?! Why hype up AJ Styles vs. Kurt Angle… JUST TO RUIN IT!

ABYSS’ BROTHER & GUNNER BACKSTAGE- stupid (what, exactly, is Abyss’s brother threatening Gunner with if Gunner hasn’t done anything?), but at least it is going somewhere.

HOGAN & RVD SEGMENT- not bad.

HULK HOGAN’S MEETING WITH THE ALL OF THE CHAMPIONS- This “Open Fight Night” concept is absolutely stupid. First of all, how is this any different from the way that things normally work? One guy calls another out and that guy either says “yes” and the GM makes a match, or the other guy says “no” and we have angle leading to the GM making the match. And if everyone who gets called out has to wrestle… how can they be sure to fit it all into a two-hour show? If there is a guy who isn’t on TV often (like most of the X-Division and a couple of the Knockouts), calling someone out seems like a great way to get yourself some TV time.
I actually had a big rant about how dumb this whole thing was, but what I hope happened is that Hogan just did a horrible job of explaining it, because when Tenay went over everything, it seemed a lot less stupid.
I am eh on the outside talent thing, but I like the fact that the TV Title will be defended more often, but I’m afraid that it will just be super-shot matches.

SARITA, ROSITA, GAIL KIM, & MADISON RAYNE vs. TARA, MISS TESSMACHER, MICKIE JAMES, & VELVET SKY- 4/10
Tessmacher’s execution on the pin looked quite pitiful. She was so far up off of Gail Kim that it seemed like the only thing holding Gail down was the force of the plot.

MR. ANDERSON PROMO- okay.

EY & ODB CRAP- a pointless waste of time. And once again, can someone give me a kayfabe reason why TNA (the kayfabe entity) would wait their air-time on this?

TNA TV TITLE MATCH: Devon(c) vs. Gunner- 4/10

JAMES STORM PROMO- Now THAT is a promo! James Storm is the Babyface of the Year. No one else even has a shot (aside from MAYBE Punk).

WINNER BECOMES #1 CONTENDER TO THE TNA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE: Mr. Anderson vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Rob Van Dam- 5.75/10
Really, TNA? A FIVE MINUTE LONG MAIN EVENT?!

Overall, another very bad episode of Impact