BRM Reviews the 12/15/2011 Impact (atrocious)

[Big Red Machine]

FIVE MINUTE OVERTIME PERIOD FOR THE TNA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE: Bobby Roode(c) vs. AJ Styles- 3.75/10. Doing this as a five minute over-time period after four whole days of rest defeats the whole concept of an Ironman match. All this was, in reality, was just a five minute match. Does Sting really think someone will get the win in five minutes?” I really didn’t like AJ going for the Superman Splash. He knew how much time was left, and he has an injured knee.

WILD CARD TAG TEAM TOURNAMENT MATCH: Scott Steiner & Abyss vs. Robby Terry & Hernandez (w/Sarita & Rosita)- 5/10

I think this tournament is a good idea, as it gives Morgan & Crimson another team to beat while they are slowly burning towards their feud (so they don’t rush to the feud) and it give some midcarders something to do.

KURT ANGLE & STING PROMO- I hate Kurt being delusional and claiming that Storm had a loaded boot.

MATCH 1 IN A BEST OUT OF 3 SERIES FOR #1 CONTENDERSHIP TO THE TNA X-DIVISION TITLE ANTHONY NESE vs. ZEMA ION- 4/10… but DAMN! I never would have thought that Ion could be such a good heel.

JEFF & KAREN BACKSTAGE- WOW! Heels being REAL PEOPLE and actually being shown to care for one another!

JESSE NEAL vs. GUNNER (w/Ric Flair)- DUD! There was no reason for this at all! They already but Garrett out. So what is the point of doing it to Neal? Furthermore, if this is Neal’s last TNA match… why not have him win cleanly and make Gunner look strong?

STING & KAREN BACKSTAGE-… or not. My fault for giving TNA credit. Whenever I try, it just bites me in the ass.

JEFF HARDY & BULLY RAY SEGMENT- not bad… but entirely unnecessary. All it did was hype up a one-off TV main event.

JOE & MAGNUS BACKSTAGE- Good. And Magnus is back on TV!

WILD CARD TAG TEAM TOURNAMENT MATCH: Robbie E. & Doug Williams vs. Samoa Joe & Brutus Magnus-3.75/10
Both Williams and Magnus are in this tournament. Apparently the only way that the member of the only active regular tag team left in TNA can get a chance at the titles is in a random-partners tournament. TNA is booked by morons.

JEFF JARRETT & STING BACKSTAGE- see my comments about the Sting & Jeff segment.

EY & OBD BACKSTAGE-dumb.

POPE, DEVON, & DEVON’S KIDS SEGMENT- Good.

JEFF & KAREN BACKSTAGE AGAIN- Just them lying to each other again. What the hell was the point of this being on the air?

TRACI BROOKS vs. MADISON RAYNE- 2/10 Given a lot more time than most women’s matches in mainstream wrestling. It’s just a pity that the match stunk this bad.

STING & THE JARRETTS BACKSTAGE- WHAT THE F*CK WAS THE POINT OF ALL OF THIS? All this whole little storyline has done is create a problem between the Jarretts that becomes irrelevant because one of them is going to be fired… and it takes away the other one’s desire to get revenge on Sting! WTF?!...
Oh. Then he fires them both. So all this storyline has done is made them both look stupid. Way to go, TNA.

BULLY RAY vs. JEFF HARDY- 5.75/10. Not close to good enough for a main event. Then Bubba (who had just taken Jeff’s finisher) pops back up to fight Jeff some more, then Roode jumps Jeff from behind, and he and Bubba put Jeff through a table. Then, for some reason Sting comes down and they attack him, too.

Overall, this episode of Impact sucked, both in terms of angles and in terms of in-ring action.