BRM Reviews the 7/14/2011 Impact (surprise... FAIL!)
Posted: Jul 15th, '11, 06:20
OPENING SEGMENT- Utter sh*t. If my hatred for this segment hadn’t filled me with the sadistic desire to take a crap all over the rest of this show, I’d have shut my TV off when Sting brought the Insane Clown Posse as reinforcements.
I absolutely despise segments like these. Did Immortal REALLY hire eye candy and all get dressed up in tuxedos JUST so they could come out and cut a promo? Does this seem ridiculous to anyone else?
And WTF? When Sting disappeared, he apparently took the green carpet that was in the ring with him… despite the fact that everyone in Immortal was standing on it.
BOUND FOR GLORY SERIES MATCH: The Pope vs. Samoa Joe vs. Bobby Roode- 6.25/10
IMMORTAL BACKSTAGE- if you want to do a serious segment, a great way to kill it is to have two morons walk into the room shaking maracas and putting sombreros on everyone’s head.
DEVON & POPE SEGMENT- Bad. Devon was good in his criticism of Pope, but for his own part, he seemed like an overbearing and dictatorial parent.
AUSTIN ARIES vs. SHANNON MOORE- 4.75/10 (good for less than 5 minutes). I think that this was bad booking, though. Aries wins a contract… and then the first thing that they do is have him need to cheat to beat someone? It just makes us ask “does he really belong in the company? ”
DURING THIS SHOW, EVIL CLOWNS WITH BASEBALL BATS BEAT UP THE TOP HEELS- enough said.
MADISON RAYNE vs. TARA- DUD, ruined by stupidity. Would it be too much to ask to just have a wrestling match with a clean finish? I think we all saw the damn spider coming a mile away, too.
Also, this was a major grudge match that has been building for months! This should have been mentioned at some point during this show aside from right before it happened!
KURT ANGLE PROMO- pretty good.
#1 CONTENDERSHIP MATCH FOR THE TNA WORLD TAG TEAM TITLES: The British Invasion vs. Mexican America- 4/10 A pin after a normal ELBOW DROP?! Really?
BUBBA & GUNNER BACKSTAGE- good. Gunner is being a man, while Bubba is being a pussy. This will all help turn Gunner face (I hope).
THE GUY WHO PINNED THE WORLD CHAMPION A FEW WEEKS AGO GETS BEATEN UP BY A GROUP OF CLOWNS- well... at least someone is benefiting from this.
THE CLOWN REVEAL- oh. It was Fortune. Not only was that obvious, but I don’t think that anybody cared. And even after this, Tenay still referred to them as “the evil clowns” rather than as “Fortune.”
TNA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH: Mr. Anderson(c) vs. Sting- 5/10. I REALLY liked this match (it was at about a 6.5/10 and still going strong)… until the dumb overbooking bullsh*t that completely killed it! Why did the babyface have to cheat in a fair fight? And why do all of this stupidity, anyway? It was obvious who the clowns were, and it was especially obvious who the last one was once the other four were revealed.
So, on this ultra-hyped Impact, what did TNA give us: Multiple dumb segments, a few instances of bad booking, three extremely obvious “surprises,” one dud, one pretty good match (the opener)… and ZERO clean finishes. This episode of Impact just proves that last week being good was a complete and total fluke.
Stupid Announcer Quotes:
1. Tenay- “Evil Clowns up in the rafters”-If they are helping Sting, then they aren’t evil, because Sting is the babyface. And as an aside, NO ANNOUNCER SHOULD EVER HAVE TO SAY THIS PHRASE AT A WRESTLING SHOW (aside from in CHIKARA). If they do, then something has gone horribly, HORRIBLY wrong with your booking.
2. Both Taz and Tenay once again undersell Bobby Roode’s finisher.
I absolutely despise segments like these. Did Immortal REALLY hire eye candy and all get dressed up in tuxedos JUST so they could come out and cut a promo? Does this seem ridiculous to anyone else?
And WTF? When Sting disappeared, he apparently took the green carpet that was in the ring with him… despite the fact that everyone in Immortal was standing on it.
BOUND FOR GLORY SERIES MATCH: The Pope vs. Samoa Joe vs. Bobby Roode- 6.25/10
IMMORTAL BACKSTAGE- if you want to do a serious segment, a great way to kill it is to have two morons walk into the room shaking maracas and putting sombreros on everyone’s head.
DEVON & POPE SEGMENT- Bad. Devon was good in his criticism of Pope, but for his own part, he seemed like an overbearing and dictatorial parent.
AUSTIN ARIES vs. SHANNON MOORE- 4.75/10 (good for less than 5 minutes). I think that this was bad booking, though. Aries wins a contract… and then the first thing that they do is have him need to cheat to beat someone? It just makes us ask “does he really belong in the company? ”
DURING THIS SHOW, EVIL CLOWNS WITH BASEBALL BATS BEAT UP THE TOP HEELS- enough said.
MADISON RAYNE vs. TARA- DUD, ruined by stupidity. Would it be too much to ask to just have a wrestling match with a clean finish? I think we all saw the damn spider coming a mile away, too.
Also, this was a major grudge match that has been building for months! This should have been mentioned at some point during this show aside from right before it happened!
KURT ANGLE PROMO- pretty good.
#1 CONTENDERSHIP MATCH FOR THE TNA WORLD TAG TEAM TITLES: The British Invasion vs. Mexican America- 4/10 A pin after a normal ELBOW DROP?! Really?
BUBBA & GUNNER BACKSTAGE- good. Gunner is being a man, while Bubba is being a pussy. This will all help turn Gunner face (I hope).
THE GUY WHO PINNED THE WORLD CHAMPION A FEW WEEKS AGO GETS BEATEN UP BY A GROUP OF CLOWNS- well... at least someone is benefiting from this.
THE CLOWN REVEAL- oh. It was Fortune. Not only was that obvious, but I don’t think that anybody cared. And even after this, Tenay still referred to them as “the evil clowns” rather than as “Fortune.”
TNA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH: Mr. Anderson(c) vs. Sting- 5/10. I REALLY liked this match (it was at about a 6.5/10 and still going strong)… until the dumb overbooking bullsh*t that completely killed it! Why did the babyface have to cheat in a fair fight? And why do all of this stupidity, anyway? It was obvious who the clowns were, and it was especially obvious who the last one was once the other four were revealed.
So, on this ultra-hyped Impact, what did TNA give us: Multiple dumb segments, a few instances of bad booking, three extremely obvious “surprises,” one dud, one pretty good match (the opener)… and ZERO clean finishes. This episode of Impact just proves that last week being good was a complete and total fluke.
Stupid Announcer Quotes:
1. Tenay- “Evil Clowns up in the rafters”-If they are helping Sting, then they aren’t evil, because Sting is the babyface. And as an aside, NO ANNOUNCER SHOULD EVER HAVE TO SAY THIS PHRASE AT A WRESTLING SHOW (aside from in CHIKARA). If they do, then something has gone horribly, HORRIBLY wrong with your booking.
2. Both Taz and Tenay once again undersell Bobby Roode’s finisher.