BRM Reviews the 2/11/2022 Rampage

[Big Red Machine]

ROPPONGI VICE (w/Orange Cassidy) vs. YOUNG BUCKS (w/Brandon Cutler)- 7.5/10
Roppongi Vice were running wild, but got cut off by the fake walk-out spot, where they were idiots and chased their opponents up the ramp and walked right into a pair of superkicks. This isn’t a blood-feud. There was no reason for them to go out and chase their opponents (yes, they did an angle on Wednesday, but Roppongi Vice weren’t treating it like a blood feud in this match. If they were, Trent wouldn’t have let whichever Buck it was storm around the ring angrily after that rana off of the stairs from Rocky. He would have been all over him and attacking him).
Try not to be took shocked, but Roppongi Vice didn’t get counted out. Well… at least this spot also served as the cut-off instead of the New Japan Special, where it exists just for the sake of doing a count-out tease even though no one ever believes it.
We got a dumb comedy spot where Orange Cassidy went under the ring, and the Bucks tried to pull him out but got Danhausen instead. He put a curse on the Young Bucks, just like he did on Cole, so I guess Tony Khan thinks it’s a good idea for the Elite to feud with Dorkhausen. Also, the way this was set up, it was clear that this was something the Goof Patrol had planned. Getting someone to pu a curse on your opponents is cheating. Babyfaces shouldn’t be doing it.
AEW managed to do the impossible by finding a way to make Danhausen’s presence even more annoying: Add in Chris Jericho yelling about him on commentary.
Hey, AEW? If you want me to be outraged about the Bucks mocking Best Friends’ hug spot, maybe don’t have the camera play into it by doing the zoom out?
Other than that silliness, the match was great, but not it was not close to the level they were building it up to be by calling this rivalry “one of the greatest in the history of the IWGP Junior Heavyweight Tag Team Titles” and calling both teams “one of the greatest tag teams of their generation in Japan” or whatever exactly they said.
Jay White was supposed to be at ringside with the Bucks but wasn’t. I assume this was part of the storyline, but they never mentioned it on commentary, which they really should have. They didn’t even mention Jay White as being part of the attack on Roppongi Vice on Wednesday.

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- meh
Dumb comedy crap happened with Brandon Cutler and Orange Cassidy. Cassidy took out Cutler, but then got taken out by the Bucks. Then both Bucks ran from a lone Trent. This happened seemingly just so that Jay White could finally appear and be the one to take Trent out from behind. He sure is lucky that none of Roppongi Vice’s other three friends decided to be at ringside for this match, or else this would have been a lot harder.

RICKY STARKS PROMO- good
Will Hobbs came out to stand behind him and he announced that Hobbs would face Dante Martin in a Face of the Revolution Ladder Match Qualifier next week.

TONY SCHIAVONE’S INTERVIEW WITH BRYAN DANIELSON IS INTERRUPTED BY MATT SYDAL & LEE MORIARTY- good
Dragon says he has no problem with Moxley choosing to team with Punk last week. I don’t understand why people would think he would have a problem with this. Punk isn’t the sort of guy Dragon has a problem with.
Matt Sydal interrupted Danielson, upset that Danielson suggested last week that Lee Moriarty should abandon his mentorship in exchange for Dragon’s. Dragon says that Sydal is a great wrestler and a probably good coach, but he can’t teach what Moriarty needs to learn, which is “violence.” Moriarty says he has more than enough violence. Danielson is pleased that Moriarty is stepping up to him, and tells Moriarty to show him how much violence he can bring on Wednesday. Dragon was acting as if the match was already booked, but other than that, this was a good segment, and whichever way the story goes on Wednesday, I’m sure Dragon and Lee will do a tremendous job telling it.

ROBYN RENEGADE vs. DR. BRITT BAKER, DMD (w/Rebel)- 2.5/10
The announcers made a big point out of Jamie Hayter not being a ringside with Dr. Baker, which would have worked a lot better for me as a sign of trouble if Hayter hadn’t also disappeared (along with Rebel) for the few weeks where Britt was involved with Adam Cole’s angle.
Britt took far too long (including needing help from Rebel) to get the win over a jobber.

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- bad
Britt locked Robyn in the lockjaw just because. I had initially assumed that this was a trap to lure Thunder Rosa out to the ring so Mercedes Martinez could blindside her, but apparently not. Thunder Rosa came out, ran Rebel over, and just pounded on Britt until Jamie Hayter came out to make the save.
Hayter started pounding on Thunder Rosa, but Mercedes Martinez came out and pulled her off because she wanted to be the one to beat up Thunder Rosa, so those two got into an argument. Why does Mercedes care who beats Thunder Rosa up here? She’ll get her chance to take Thunder Rosa out on Dynamite, and if Hayter helps beat her down tonight, it will just make Mercedes’ job easier. Britt had to get in between them. Like with MJF and Wardlow, this conflict feels completely manufactured for the purpose of telling the story they want to tell rather than stemming from the natural and logical motivations of the characters.

LEYLA HIRSCH VS. KRIS STATLANDER VIDEO PACKAGE- TERRIBLE!
Leyla, the heel talks about her tough life and having to pray every day that she would be adopted from the orphanage in Russia where she grew up. Statlander, the supposed babyface, with a big f*cking smirk on her face, says that Leyla not shaking hands was “unprofessional” and then says “if this is how your attitude was when you were a kid, I don’t blame your parents for giving you up.”
Statlander then said “My struggles are my own business.” That’s fair enough. Then she said “Don’t you dare undermine my abilities based on how I portray myself.” How does that make any sense?! If she had said “underestimate” it would have made a little more sense, but didn’t quite fit with her tone. How the f*ck was this not re-shot?
The video package ended with Leyla vowing to kick Statlander’s ass.
This was absolutely horrendous. Not just because of Statlander’s bad promo and the terrible backwardness of the face-heel dynamic, but because it felt almost completely detached from the actual story. This didn’t start with Leyla not shaking hands after a loss. Excalibur the week after that match claimed that there were issues long before that, and not shaking hands after a match is so common that it’s ridiculous to call it “unprofessional” and “childish.” If you want to say that Leyla trying to steal pins in tag matches is “childish” then I’m fine with that… but that wasn’t mentioned in this video at all! And Statlander’s whole thing feels pulled out of thin air. At no point has Leyla underestimated Statlander nor said anything about how Statlander “portrays” herself, or anything like that.

HOOK vs. BLAKE LI (w/Q.T. Marshall)- squash
Ah. They’ve finally found someone for Hook to face who appears to be Hook’s own age. Hook squashed this “highly-touted” student, even with Q.T. trying to distract him. Hook once again left the hold in for way too long after the bell. What a jerk.

MARK HENRY INTERVIEWS THE PEOPLE IN THE MAIN EVENT- meh
Jungle Boy is coming off too much like he’s trying to be a comedian. Billy and Christian were fine, but nothing more.

AEW WORLD TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH: Jurassic Express(c) (w/Christian Cage) vs. Gunn Club (w/Billy Gunn)- 7/10
Babyfaces overcome heel cheating and win clean.

This was a fine episode of Rampage, with very great wrestling, but also many of the usual issues.