BRM Reviews the 8/13/2021 Rampage
Posted: Aug 14th, '21, 22:43
Fifteen seconds into the show and I am already sick and tired of hearing Jericho yelling.
IMPACT WRESTLING WORLD HEAYYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH: Kenny Omega(c) (w/Don Callis) vs. Christian Cage- 8/10
Tonight they called this a “world championship,” despite seemingly like they were purposely avoiding doing so on Dynamite.
Both guys worked the head and neck, and they had lots of great twists and turns. I certainly didn’t see Christian getting the win here. I had figured that Christian challenging Omega at All Out was a red herring and they were going to give the match to Punk or Dragon, but this makes me rethink that.
MARK HENRY INTERVIEWS CHRISTIAN CAGE (& JURASSIC EXPRESS)- great!
The only negative here was Orange Cassidy lounging around in the background. I guess he didn’t learn his less from the beating the Inner put on him last time he did this. If you want a title shot, why don’t you wait off camera until the new champ is done talking, and then approach? Waiting in the background of someone else’s big moment is rude… and that’s assuming that OC even wants a title shot. He never said anything or even made eye-contact with Christian, so it’s possible he was just being an asshole for no reason at all.
FUEGO DEL SOL VS. MIRO VIDEO PACKAGE- bad
Who the f*ck is this guy and why should I care about him? Why the hell did they give this nobody this title shot instead of just spending an extra week or two building up Lee Johnson for his title shot?
AEW TNT TITLE MATCH IN WHICH IF FUEGO DEL SOL WINS, HE EARNS AN AEW CONTRACT: Miro(c) vs. Fuego Del Sol- DUD!
Fuego Del Sol jumped the bell on Miro. Why would I want to see him win a title or get a contract if he has to cheat in order to do so?
Fuego Del Sol hit some Tornado DDTs and got a false finish out of it. The went for a fourth one but Miro countered it with a Samoan Drop, hit the Machka Kick and locked in Game Over for the win. You want to give Miro a dominant win? Fine. But you can tell your wacky story about the Tornado DDT being Miro’s weakness without having a babyface cheat. And seeing as how all this match was was that story and they failed at making me want to see the babyface win, I’m giving it a dud.
After the match, Miro ripped up the contract that was waiting for Fuego Del Sol. Good. That cheater doesn’t deserve a contract.
POST-COMMERCIAL POST-MATCH SEGMENT- They still haven’t learned a damn thing.
After a commercial break, Sammy Guevara and Tony Khan come out. Jericho tells us that Sammy Guevara and Fuego Del Sol are best friends. Apparently not best friends enough for Sammy to comment on Chavo and Andrade beating him up last week, though.
Sammy jokes that Fuego Del Sol is 1-50. I looked it up, and he’s not far off. He’s now 1-44, and the win wasn’t even in a singles match. But the fans like him, so they’re going to offer a contract to this COMPLETE AND TOTAL LOSER. That’s not me being mean to the guy. It’s a f*cking statement of fact!
So yeah. Apparently back in February when I asked if AEW could have possibly done a worse job at telling the Lee Johnson story, Tony Khan read the post and said “CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!”
THEY PLUG WHATEVER DARDBY WILL BE DOING AT THE CHICAGO SHOW- fine
MARK HENRY CONDUCTS AN INTERVIEW VIA SATELLITE WITH BRITT BAKER AND RED VELVET-
Mark asks why Red Velvet rudely interrupted Britt on Dynamite. Red Velvet says it’s because Britt attacked her with a crutch? Oh yeah? Will if that’s the case, then WHY DIDN’T YOU BRING THAT UP ON DYNAMITE?! Doing it like this makes it feel like Red Velvet (and, out of kayfabe, the booker) is pulling something out of her ass to try to justify her dickish behavior.
Britt cut a fine promo. Mark Henry comes off like the nicest human there has ever been.
AEW WOMEN’S WORLD TITLE MATCH: Britt Baker(c) (w/Rebel) vs. Red Velvet- 6.75/10
Britt’s arm got worked over but she still won. The completely immoral crowd was happy with this despite Rebel’s copious interference. His was fine, but Red Velvet is not someone I would have put in a main event spot on the premiere episode of a show.
POST-MATCH SEGMENT- meh
Britt attacked Red Velvet after he match and was going to stomp her head into the belt, but Kris Statlander made the save. Jamie Hayter jumped the guardrail or something to help Britt. She was wearing a disguise, but it wasn’t necessary because no one recognized her when she took it off. Even Excalibur wasn’t sure if he was right at first. They beat the babyfaces up and Britt stomped Red Velvet’s face into the belt.
Why did they decide to call the second episode of Rampage “The First Dance?”
This show started off great, but by the end, it was the usual AEW mix of good wrestling and Creative problems.
IMPACT WRESTLING WORLD HEAYYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH: Kenny Omega(c) (w/Don Callis) vs. Christian Cage- 8/10
Tonight they called this a “world championship,” despite seemingly like they were purposely avoiding doing so on Dynamite.
Both guys worked the head and neck, and they had lots of great twists and turns. I certainly didn’t see Christian getting the win here. I had figured that Christian challenging Omega at All Out was a red herring and they were going to give the match to Punk or Dragon, but this makes me rethink that.
MARK HENRY INTERVIEWS CHRISTIAN CAGE (& JURASSIC EXPRESS)- great!
The only negative here was Orange Cassidy lounging around in the background. I guess he didn’t learn his less from the beating the Inner put on him last time he did this. If you want a title shot, why don’t you wait off camera until the new champ is done talking, and then approach? Waiting in the background of someone else’s big moment is rude… and that’s assuming that OC even wants a title shot. He never said anything or even made eye-contact with Christian, so it’s possible he was just being an asshole for no reason at all.
FUEGO DEL SOL VS. MIRO VIDEO PACKAGE- bad
Who the f*ck is this guy and why should I care about him? Why the hell did they give this nobody this title shot instead of just spending an extra week or two building up Lee Johnson for his title shot?
AEW TNT TITLE MATCH IN WHICH IF FUEGO DEL SOL WINS, HE EARNS AN AEW CONTRACT: Miro(c) vs. Fuego Del Sol- DUD!
Fuego Del Sol jumped the bell on Miro. Why would I want to see him win a title or get a contract if he has to cheat in order to do so?
Fuego Del Sol hit some Tornado DDTs and got a false finish out of it. The went for a fourth one but Miro countered it with a Samoan Drop, hit the Machka Kick and locked in Game Over for the win. You want to give Miro a dominant win? Fine. But you can tell your wacky story about the Tornado DDT being Miro’s weakness without having a babyface cheat. And seeing as how all this match was was that story and they failed at making me want to see the babyface win, I’m giving it a dud.
After the match, Miro ripped up the contract that was waiting for Fuego Del Sol. Good. That cheater doesn’t deserve a contract.
POST-COMMERCIAL POST-MATCH SEGMENT- They still haven’t learned a damn thing.
After a commercial break, Sammy Guevara and Tony Khan come out. Jericho tells us that Sammy Guevara and Fuego Del Sol are best friends. Apparently not best friends enough for Sammy to comment on Chavo and Andrade beating him up last week, though.
Sammy jokes that Fuego Del Sol is 1-50. I looked it up, and he’s not far off. He’s now 1-44, and the win wasn’t even in a singles match. But the fans like him, so they’re going to offer a contract to this COMPLETE AND TOTAL LOSER. That’s not me being mean to the guy. It’s a f*cking statement of fact!
So yeah. Apparently back in February when I asked if AEW could have possibly done a worse job at telling the Lee Johnson story, Tony Khan read the post and said “CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!”
THEY PLUG WHATEVER DARDBY WILL BE DOING AT THE CHICAGO SHOW- fine
MARK HENRY CONDUCTS AN INTERVIEW VIA SATELLITE WITH BRITT BAKER AND RED VELVET-
Mark asks why Red Velvet rudely interrupted Britt on Dynamite. Red Velvet says it’s because Britt attacked her with a crutch? Oh yeah? Will if that’s the case, then WHY DIDN’T YOU BRING THAT UP ON DYNAMITE?! Doing it like this makes it feel like Red Velvet (and, out of kayfabe, the booker) is pulling something out of her ass to try to justify her dickish behavior.
Britt cut a fine promo. Mark Henry comes off like the nicest human there has ever been.
AEW WOMEN’S WORLD TITLE MATCH: Britt Baker(c) (w/Rebel) vs. Red Velvet- 6.75/10
Britt’s arm got worked over but she still won. The completely immoral crowd was happy with this despite Rebel’s copious interference. His was fine, but Red Velvet is not someone I would have put in a main event spot on the premiere episode of a show.
POST-MATCH SEGMENT- meh
Britt attacked Red Velvet after he match and was going to stomp her head into the belt, but Kris Statlander made the save. Jamie Hayter jumped the guardrail or something to help Britt. She was wearing a disguise, but it wasn’t necessary because no one recognized her when she took it off. Even Excalibur wasn’t sure if he was right at first. They beat the babyfaces up and Britt stomped Red Velvet’s face into the belt.
Why did they decide to call the second episode of Rampage “The First Dance?”
This show started off great, but by the end, it was the usual AEW mix of good wrestling and Creative problems.