BRM Gives Up on the 3/29/2021 Raw (I made it halfway through)

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Big Red Machine
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Joined: Dec 16th, '10, 15:12

BRM Gives Up on the 3/29/2021 Raw (I made it halfway through)

Post by Big Red Machine » Mar 31st, '21, 14:52

I deleted what was apparently a really great Smackdown from my DVR, so Raw had better deliver tonight.


EARLIER TODAY, SARAH SCHREIBER INTERVIEWS DREW MCINTYRE ABOUT THE BOUNTY LASHLEY PUT ON HIS HEAD- GREAT!
He’s not afraid, and he’ll kick the ass of anyone who comes after him.

OPENING SEGMENT- great execution on a terrible idea
The Hurt Business come out and Lashley and MVP yell at Shelton and Cedric for failing last week. Shelton realizes that MVP wouldn’t have done this in public if he wasn’t going to fire them, so he starts telling Lashley that Lashley wouldn’t be champion if not for them, which seems untrue to me.
Lashley finally punches Cedric and takes him out right away. Shelton got to get a little offense in on Lashley before being taken out. Lashley declared the Hurt Business over and reiterated his bounty on Drew McIntyre.
As good as the execution was here, the idea is just that bad. First and foremost, this gains NOTHING while badly devaluing Cedric and Shelton by removing them from a hot act (I love all four of these guys, but let’s be honest: MVP is at least 85% of the cool factor of this group). And it’s not even like there is a babyface turn in here to give them a fresh coat of paint. Over the past two weeks WWE has labeled these two as losers, publicly shamed them as such, and then had the cool kids say “you suck. We don’t want you to hang out with us anymore.”
In addition to that, this also robs Raw of its only stable, hurting the diversity of a show whose repetitive feel is one of its biggest weaknesses.

SARAH SCHREIBER INTERVIEWS MATT RIDDLE- He’s an annoying dork again. He doesn’t understand why Sheamus attacked him last week. IT’S BECAUSE YOU’RE AN OBNOXIOUS LITTLE TWERP!
As if to prove my point, Riddle spotted Titus O’Neil and went over and started annoying him. Titus left, so Riddle moved on… and was ambushed by a Brogue Kick from Sheamus. I can only assume that after the camera cut away, the next person down that hallway came over and thanked Sheamus for saving him/her from having to talk to Riddle.

CEDRIC ALEXANDER & SHELTON BENJAMIN YELL AT ADAM PEARCE THAT THEY WANT MATCHES WITH BOBBY LASHLEY; SHELTON LAST WEEK AND CEDRIC NEXT WEEK- good
I especially liked them basically telling him to stop being a suck-up and do his freakin’ job.

MATT RIDDLE vs. SHEAMUS- 7.5/10
Samoa Joe “can’t be here tonight” so MVP is taking his place on commentary.
The match was great, but Riddle should have been more angry and intense, considering the set-up.. Sheamus won cleanly, then Riddle attacked Sheamus after the match like a sore loser. Yes, Sheamus jumped Riddle before, but Riddle didn’t seem too angry about his during the match.

THE NEW INTERVIEWER INTERVIEWS SHANE MCMAHON- This was just an excuse to let us know that Shane’s “exposé” on Braun Strowman is up next.

DREW MCINTYRE CONFRONTS AJ STYLES & OMOS BACKSTAGE- dull
For no logical reason, AJ and Omos will not try to beat Drew up. Instead, they’re just going to focus on their tag title shot.

SHANE MCMAHON’S EXPOSÉ ON BRAUN STROWMAN- boring
Shane and pals called Braun dumb a bunch of times. In other words, it’s the same thing we’ve been seeing for a month now.

BRAUN STROWMAN vs. JAXSON RYKER (w/Shane McMahon & “the Drifter” Elias Sampson)- DUD on principle
We’ve seen this same match three times in eight days now, including the stupid train sounds when Braun runs around the ring.
Drifter and Shane got to beat Braun up a bit after the match. Just long enough to fool me into thinking that something different might happen, but then Braun made his own comeback and stood tall in the end anyway.
Braun told Shane that he has picked the stipulation for their WrestleMania match: a cage match. He has chosen this match because it will stop Shane from running away and his buddies from interfering… which would be great if we didn’t see interference all the time in WWE cage matches.

MIZ & MORRISON DEBUT THEIR NEW VIDEO- I skipped all of the parts where it was just Miz and Morrison talking or their video playing. Damian Priest and Bad Bunny predictably came out, and they actually sounded cool. Miz wanted to get in Bad Bunny’s face, so Bad Bunny floored him with a punch. Then Bad Bunny destroyed the Dirt Sheet set.
Priest and Bad Bunny came off pretty great here, although the destroying the set in the end was totally unnecessary. While watching this, it occurred to me that it would probably help WWE a lot more if the match were Miz & Morrison vs. Damian Priest & Bad Bunny instead of a singles match without Priest in it, as this way, Priest- who is going to stick around and who they clearly want to get the rub from Bad Bunny- could be the one to get the win, and you don’t have to have a wrestler doing a job for a non-wrestler.

RANDY ORTON PROMO- I don’t understand why Randy had any doubt that The Fiend would return. It’s not like we haven’t seen Undertaker do this sort of sh*t multiple times.

-BOBBY LASHLEY vs. SHELTON BENJAMIN (w/Cedric Alexander)- 5.5/10
The babyface announcers love Cedric and Shelton all of a sudden, despite 1) not being able to identify anything they did to help make Lashley champion, and 2) the fact that these guys have not actually done anything to indicate that regret or repudiate any of the things they have done over the past year nine months that made the announcers despise them so much. MVP was on commentary, providing a logical counterbalance to this idiocy.
The match was Excellent for the time it got. Lashley won clean.

NEW DAY, AJ STYLES, & OMOS BACKSTAGE- very dumb
New Day want it to be game night. They were very annoying.

WAIT… THIS IS AN ACTUAL SEGMENT ON THE SHOW? ARE YOU F*CKING KIDDING ME?
When we get back from a commercial, the ring is all set up for New Day to play board games with AJ and Omos. In kayfabe, why would WWE put this on the air? And AJ and Omos are going along with it? WHAT THE F*CK?!
You know what? If they’re going to waste my time with this bullsh*t, I don’t need to watch this f*cking show.
Hold #712: ARM BAR!

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