BRM Reviews the 2/10/2020 Raw (Shayna's a Vampire)
Posted: Feb 11th, '20, 21:26
OPENING SEGMENT- bad
Seth Rollins and his crew came out and Rollins spoke for a while. Owens came out and Rollins told him to give up because if he fights alone he will fall alone. That’s fine and all, but why is Rollins talking like Joe and Ivar are out injured when they’re being advertised to face him and his crew tonight?
Out come the Viking Raiders and Owens talks some more. The babyfaces finally charge the ring and have a four-on-three brawl. Rollins tries to leave but Joe comes out of the crowd and attacks him from behind like a coward. The other heels saved Rollins from a Coquina Clutch but the babyfaces won the brawl and they all beat Murphy up, making him look like a total chump lackey. We already knew about the match and it’s not like someone got injured or dissension was created here, either, so this segment seems to have done nothing but kill time and make Murphy look like a loser. If you need to kill ten minutes, why not give it to this big eight-man tag or the women’s title match?
Then Becky Lynch came out to do her entrance even though all eight guys are still in the ring. This happened because her match was scheduled for after the commercial. This felt like something that would have happened back in the spring when WWE was so desperately afraid of people changing the channel during a commercial that they insisted on having segments run into each other like this in a way that did nothing for anyone, created fan expectations of confrontations that never came, and made the people who got chased off by the new-comer’s music look like lesser stars.
WWE RAW WOMEN’S TITLE MATCH: Becky Lynch(c) vs. Asuka (w/Kairi Sane)- 7.5/10
Why, exactly, is Asuka getting another title shot when Becky beat her cleanly at the PPV and Asuka is a mere 1-1 since then?
That bit of logic aside, this match was pretty darn great. Becky winning with a Rock Bottom was kind of weird, but I have no time to consider that now because of the…
POST-MATCH SEGMENT- baffling
Becky Lynch gets jumped from behind by Shayna Baszler. After putting Becky down, Shayna took out her mouthguard and… bit Becky on the back of the neck, drawing lots of blood that was all over Shayna’s mouth. They did a good job selling the angle (especially Becky, who came a cross as not just in pain but also very freaked out). The problem is… WHY THE F*CK WOULD YOU DEBUT SHAYNA BASZLER LIKE THIS?! How is everyone who hasn’t watched NXT supposed to think anything other than “oh. Her gimmick must be that she’s a vampire. That’s dumb.”
And for those of us, who do watch NXT, it’s completely out of character for her.
MOJO RAWLEY & RIDDICK MOSS vs. THE STREET PROFITS- squash
Yay! The Street Profits actually get to wrestle instead of being stuck in moronic backstage segments that make them seem weird and/or unfunny. The 24/7 Title is once again “suspended for the duration of this match,” which once again makes no sense. Why even have the damn thing?
The Street Profits then made a comment about Mojo talked about “the 24/7 Title not being for cowards.” I thought this would lead to them pointing out that the title should logically be on the line during this match, but instead they just accused Mojo of hiding behind Riddick Moss… which isn’t totally untrue, but it’s not really true, either.
The Street Profits won in moments, squashing Riddick Moss, so Riddick is now a total loser, too.
POST-MATCH SEGMENT- dumb
You’d think that between the content of the Street Profits’ promo and the fact that they just nailed Riddick Moss with a finisher, that this would allow R-Truth or whoever to come out and beat Mojo for the 24/7 Title. Instead, Mojo went to help his buddy Riddick up, but Riddick then small packaged Mojo… and apparently Riddick Moss has the best small package in history because not only was Riddick just hit with a finisher and Mojo wasn’t, but the referee had to run back into the ring before he could even start counting, so Riddick actually had to hold Mojo down for a good ten seconds to pin him. So not only is Riddick Moss a loser who just got squashed, but Mojo Rawley is a loser who just got pinned for ten seconds by a loser who just got hit with a finisher.
BECKY LYNCH REFUSES TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL- wait… not… she’s willing to go so long as she herself drives? That’s dumb, but it’s either that or she just stole an ambulance.
Do you even go to the hospital for a bite from another human?
MVP’S VIP LOUNGE WITH SPECIAL GUEST DREW MCINTYRE- very good segment
MVP is apparently a heel now, as he is insulting the crowd. MVP says that Drew eliminated Brock all by himself. Are we supposed to just pretend that Ricochet didn’t kick Brock in the nuts first?
There is a woman in the second row with a sign that says “I came to see Drew McIntyre,” but her sign appears to have The Undertaker’s face on it, not Drew’s.
Drew makes fun of the concept of pointing at the WrestleMania sign. How about we just don’t do it at all. In fact, how about we get rid of that embarrassing sign. Look at that f*cking thing. How the hell is anyone supposed to take WrestleMania seriously with that f*cking pirate hat there and that “ooh, look… it’s a scroll because pirates are from centuries ago!” background?
Anyway, MVP tries to convince Drew to let him be his manager. Drew shuts him down, but this promo right here convinced me that MVP absolutely needs to be somebody’s manager because he was SOOO perfect in the role.
MVP eventually got angry at the rejection and put his hands on Drew, resulting in Drew kicking his ass. I REALLY want to see MVP come back as a Bobby Heenan-type of figure sending crony after crony at Drew after Drew wins the title from Brock at Mania.
Speaking of people who could use a manager…
CEDRIC ALEXANDER vs. ANGEL GARZA (w/Zelina Vega)- 1/10
Cedric needs one, but I think the right manager for him is not MVP but rather Stokely Hathaway. We all know that Stokely is so entertaining that it’d be hard for him to be a heel without doing something dastardly, and what more dastardly thing could their be than to befriend someone and have them entrust you with their career, only to turn on them?
Cedric’s entrance happened during a commercial. When the heels got to the ring, Zelina grabbed a mic and pitched to a video package. Then Garza cut a promo, completely ignoring Cedric and making him look like a loser. Is there no reason that we couldn’t have done and then let Cedric make his entrance?
Humberto Carrillo came out and attacked Garza. The good news is that we FINALLY have some security on this show, who save Garza and pull Humberto off. If this was what you wanted to do, why not just have Garza come out and cut his promo, then have Humberto attack him and there’s your segment? That way Cedric doesn’t look like a loser for losing in a quick match to a guy who just got beaten up.
Also, it would avoid the awkward situation where Garza just got jumped and punched in the face a punch of times, and the referee is screaming at him to “GET IN THE RING! NOW!” When this happens to the babyfaces, the referees always ask them if they think they can go (so the babyface can look tough by saying yes), so why isn’t the referee giving Garza the option of deferring the match after getting assaulted?
CHARLY CARUSO INTERVIEWS RHEA RIPLEY- bad
Rhea came off like a total heel here. Then someone I didn’t recognize came up to Rhea and asked her if she should she could “just show up to Raw and do whatever you want.” Who is this person? Process of elimination tells me it’s Sarah Logan since I’m certain it’s not any of the other woman on the roster, but this person doesn’t look like what Sarah Logan looked like the last time I saw Sarah Logan, either.
Rhea posed the exact same question that was on my mind “who are you?” and then just walked away, making the mystery woman look like a complete and total chump.
SARAH SCHREIBER INTERVIEWS BOBBY LASHLEY & LANA- great
Lashley ignores her and warms up while Lana cuts most of his promo for him.
SARAH LOGAN CALLS OUT RHEA RIPLEY- She came off like a total loser who is about to get obliterated. Luckily, there was already a referee in the ring even though no match was apparently scheduled, so we’re getting…
SARAH LOGAN vs. RHEA RIPLEY- squash
Props to Byron Saxton for at least wondering if this match was actually sanctioned or not. Charlotte Flair came out to watch from the stage. Rhea obliterated Sarah Logan, keeping an eye on Charlotte the entire time. I might have called this a good squash except that we’ve had three short matches in a row now (including two squashes) and I’m getting pretty darn annoyed.
POST-MATCH SEGMENT- bad
Rhea demanded an answer. Charlotte wouldn’t give her one. Charlotte’s not wrong that if her issue is with Rhea then it makes no sense for her to answer until after Rhea’s scheduled title defense this weekend at TakeOver: Portland, but she came off like a total heel with the way she phrased it. In other words, we got yet another segment where nothing moved forward and no one came off as likable.
CHARLY CARUSO INTERVIEWS RICOCHET- fine
RICOCHET vs. BOBBY LASHLEY (w/Lana)- 6.5/10
Holy sh*t they let Ricochet beat Lashley clean!
RANDY ORTON IS INTERRUPTED BY MATT HARDY- bad
Randy says he that he knows he owes everyone an explanation. Just as he started to speak, he was interrupted by Matt Hardy. Matt then said that he wanted to hear Randy’s explanation. THEN WHY DID YOU INTERRUPT HIM, MORON?!
Matt waxes poetical and about himself, Edge, Christian, and Jeff. This was a terrible, melodramatic, unrealistic WWE speech that was mercifully ended when Randy gave Matt and RKO that wasn’t even out of nowhere. Matt was just too caught up in his speechifying to see it coming. Randy then smashed Matt’s head in with a chair. Where was the f*ck was the security that we saw earlier?
And, of course, Randy doesn’t pick the mic up again afterwards and tell us the thing he came out here to tell us, so that’s now two weeks in a row that they have promised this same thing and didn’t deliver.
SARAH SCHREIBER INTERVIEWS RUBY RIOTT- good
She wants to know why Ruby attacked Liv Morgan last week. Basically, Ruby is mad because Liv left her group, and she wants to show Liv that Liv is only good enough to be a follower. Normally I would wonder why Ruby Riott isn’t also going after Sarah Logan, but after Sarah’s performance earlier tonight, I doubt Ruby really even wants Saran in her group.
AKIRA TOZAWA vs. ALEISTER BLACK- squash
Come on! One more f*cking squash isn’t going to make Aleister Black look any better. Stop wasting our time and put him in an actual storyline!
ALEISTER BLACK PROMO- again… DO SOMETHING WITH HIM! Until you do, these promos serve no purpose and have no meaning, so they are just wastes of time.
BECKY LYNCH RETURNS TO THE ARENA- in the same ambulance… and with the lights on
Does WWE realize that if you show up in an ambulance, they don’t let you drive one when you check out? It’s either that (and Becky was driving around with the lights on even though there was no emergency) or she just drove around in circles and never went to the hospital in the first place.
BECKY LYNCH PROMO- great stuff… but why the hell did you do this this week instead of next week when you wouldn’t have had to do all of this stupid crap with your top babyface stealing an ambulance?
TAWAIQ MOUNTAIN TROPHY GAUNTLET MATCH ANNOUNCEMENT- It’s a random gauntlet match on the Saudi show from yet another trophy that I’m sure won’t actually be relevant again, just like the Greatest Royal Rumble trophy and title belt, and that trophy for being the best tag team that Gallows & Anderson won in a tag team gauntlet match at the last Saudi show.
The interesting news here is that AJ Styles was in the graphic for this even though the initial reports were that he would be lucky to return from injury in time for WrestleMania.
SETH ROLLINS, BUDDY MURPHY, & THE AUTHORS OF PAIN vs. SAMOA JOE, KEVIN OWENS, & THE VIKING RAIDERS- 7/10
The match was great and they had a very creative finish… but they once again felt the need to make Murphy look like a loser by having him tap before Seth saved his ass and basically gave him a pin. It would be no less cheating if you did this same thing but without Murphy tapping, so why make Murphy look like sh*t?
This episode of Raw was a mixed bag, but mostly bad. I’m finding the current format rather frustrating, as there is WAY too high a percentage of matches that are either squashes or very short. The real talking point coming out of tonight is the Baszler thing, which… WHY? Just… WHY?
Seth Rollins and his crew came out and Rollins spoke for a while. Owens came out and Rollins told him to give up because if he fights alone he will fall alone. That’s fine and all, but why is Rollins talking like Joe and Ivar are out injured when they’re being advertised to face him and his crew tonight?
Out come the Viking Raiders and Owens talks some more. The babyfaces finally charge the ring and have a four-on-three brawl. Rollins tries to leave but Joe comes out of the crowd and attacks him from behind like a coward. The other heels saved Rollins from a Coquina Clutch but the babyfaces won the brawl and they all beat Murphy up, making him look like a total chump lackey. We already knew about the match and it’s not like someone got injured or dissension was created here, either, so this segment seems to have done nothing but kill time and make Murphy look like a loser. If you need to kill ten minutes, why not give it to this big eight-man tag or the women’s title match?
Then Becky Lynch came out to do her entrance even though all eight guys are still in the ring. This happened because her match was scheduled for after the commercial. This felt like something that would have happened back in the spring when WWE was so desperately afraid of people changing the channel during a commercial that they insisted on having segments run into each other like this in a way that did nothing for anyone, created fan expectations of confrontations that never came, and made the people who got chased off by the new-comer’s music look like lesser stars.
WWE RAW WOMEN’S TITLE MATCH: Becky Lynch(c) vs. Asuka (w/Kairi Sane)- 7.5/10
Why, exactly, is Asuka getting another title shot when Becky beat her cleanly at the PPV and Asuka is a mere 1-1 since then?
That bit of logic aside, this match was pretty darn great. Becky winning with a Rock Bottom was kind of weird, but I have no time to consider that now because of the…
POST-MATCH SEGMENT- baffling
Becky Lynch gets jumped from behind by Shayna Baszler. After putting Becky down, Shayna took out her mouthguard and… bit Becky on the back of the neck, drawing lots of blood that was all over Shayna’s mouth. They did a good job selling the angle (especially Becky, who came a cross as not just in pain but also very freaked out). The problem is… WHY THE F*CK WOULD YOU DEBUT SHAYNA BASZLER LIKE THIS?! How is everyone who hasn’t watched NXT supposed to think anything other than “oh. Her gimmick must be that she’s a vampire. That’s dumb.”
And for those of us, who do watch NXT, it’s completely out of character for her.
MOJO RAWLEY & RIDDICK MOSS vs. THE STREET PROFITS- squash
Yay! The Street Profits actually get to wrestle instead of being stuck in moronic backstage segments that make them seem weird and/or unfunny. The 24/7 Title is once again “suspended for the duration of this match,” which once again makes no sense. Why even have the damn thing?
The Street Profits then made a comment about Mojo talked about “the 24/7 Title not being for cowards.” I thought this would lead to them pointing out that the title should logically be on the line during this match, but instead they just accused Mojo of hiding behind Riddick Moss… which isn’t totally untrue, but it’s not really true, either.
The Street Profits won in moments, squashing Riddick Moss, so Riddick is now a total loser, too.
POST-MATCH SEGMENT- dumb
You’d think that between the content of the Street Profits’ promo and the fact that they just nailed Riddick Moss with a finisher, that this would allow R-Truth or whoever to come out and beat Mojo for the 24/7 Title. Instead, Mojo went to help his buddy Riddick up, but Riddick then small packaged Mojo… and apparently Riddick Moss has the best small package in history because not only was Riddick just hit with a finisher and Mojo wasn’t, but the referee had to run back into the ring before he could even start counting, so Riddick actually had to hold Mojo down for a good ten seconds to pin him. So not only is Riddick Moss a loser who just got squashed, but Mojo Rawley is a loser who just got pinned for ten seconds by a loser who just got hit with a finisher.
BECKY LYNCH REFUSES TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL- wait… not… she’s willing to go so long as she herself drives? That’s dumb, but it’s either that or she just stole an ambulance.
Do you even go to the hospital for a bite from another human?
MVP’S VIP LOUNGE WITH SPECIAL GUEST DREW MCINTYRE- very good segment
MVP is apparently a heel now, as he is insulting the crowd. MVP says that Drew eliminated Brock all by himself. Are we supposed to just pretend that Ricochet didn’t kick Brock in the nuts first?
There is a woman in the second row with a sign that says “I came to see Drew McIntyre,” but her sign appears to have The Undertaker’s face on it, not Drew’s.
Drew makes fun of the concept of pointing at the WrestleMania sign. How about we just don’t do it at all. In fact, how about we get rid of that embarrassing sign. Look at that f*cking thing. How the hell is anyone supposed to take WrestleMania seriously with that f*cking pirate hat there and that “ooh, look… it’s a scroll because pirates are from centuries ago!” background?
Anyway, MVP tries to convince Drew to let him be his manager. Drew shuts him down, but this promo right here convinced me that MVP absolutely needs to be somebody’s manager because he was SOOO perfect in the role.
MVP eventually got angry at the rejection and put his hands on Drew, resulting in Drew kicking his ass. I REALLY want to see MVP come back as a Bobby Heenan-type of figure sending crony after crony at Drew after Drew wins the title from Brock at Mania.
Speaking of people who could use a manager…
CEDRIC ALEXANDER vs. ANGEL GARZA (w/Zelina Vega)- 1/10
Cedric needs one, but I think the right manager for him is not MVP but rather Stokely Hathaway. We all know that Stokely is so entertaining that it’d be hard for him to be a heel without doing something dastardly, and what more dastardly thing could their be than to befriend someone and have them entrust you with their career, only to turn on them?
Cedric’s entrance happened during a commercial. When the heels got to the ring, Zelina grabbed a mic and pitched to a video package. Then Garza cut a promo, completely ignoring Cedric and making him look like a loser. Is there no reason that we couldn’t have done and then let Cedric make his entrance?
Humberto Carrillo came out and attacked Garza. The good news is that we FINALLY have some security on this show, who save Garza and pull Humberto off. If this was what you wanted to do, why not just have Garza come out and cut his promo, then have Humberto attack him and there’s your segment? That way Cedric doesn’t look like a loser for losing in a quick match to a guy who just got beaten up.
Also, it would avoid the awkward situation where Garza just got jumped and punched in the face a punch of times, and the referee is screaming at him to “GET IN THE RING! NOW!” When this happens to the babyfaces, the referees always ask them if they think they can go (so the babyface can look tough by saying yes), so why isn’t the referee giving Garza the option of deferring the match after getting assaulted?
CHARLY CARUSO INTERVIEWS RHEA RIPLEY- bad
Rhea came off like a total heel here. Then someone I didn’t recognize came up to Rhea and asked her if she should she could “just show up to Raw and do whatever you want.” Who is this person? Process of elimination tells me it’s Sarah Logan since I’m certain it’s not any of the other woman on the roster, but this person doesn’t look like what Sarah Logan looked like the last time I saw Sarah Logan, either.
Rhea posed the exact same question that was on my mind “who are you?” and then just walked away, making the mystery woman look like a complete and total chump.
SARAH SCHREIBER INTERVIEWS BOBBY LASHLEY & LANA- great
Lashley ignores her and warms up while Lana cuts most of his promo for him.
SARAH LOGAN CALLS OUT RHEA RIPLEY- She came off like a total loser who is about to get obliterated. Luckily, there was already a referee in the ring even though no match was apparently scheduled, so we’re getting…
SARAH LOGAN vs. RHEA RIPLEY- squash
Props to Byron Saxton for at least wondering if this match was actually sanctioned or not. Charlotte Flair came out to watch from the stage. Rhea obliterated Sarah Logan, keeping an eye on Charlotte the entire time. I might have called this a good squash except that we’ve had three short matches in a row now (including two squashes) and I’m getting pretty darn annoyed.
POST-MATCH SEGMENT- bad
Rhea demanded an answer. Charlotte wouldn’t give her one. Charlotte’s not wrong that if her issue is with Rhea then it makes no sense for her to answer until after Rhea’s scheduled title defense this weekend at TakeOver: Portland, but she came off like a total heel with the way she phrased it. In other words, we got yet another segment where nothing moved forward and no one came off as likable.
CHARLY CARUSO INTERVIEWS RICOCHET- fine
RICOCHET vs. BOBBY LASHLEY (w/Lana)- 6.5/10
Holy sh*t they let Ricochet beat Lashley clean!
RANDY ORTON IS INTERRUPTED BY MATT HARDY- bad
Randy says he that he knows he owes everyone an explanation. Just as he started to speak, he was interrupted by Matt Hardy. Matt then said that he wanted to hear Randy’s explanation. THEN WHY DID YOU INTERRUPT HIM, MORON?!
Matt waxes poetical and about himself, Edge, Christian, and Jeff. This was a terrible, melodramatic, unrealistic WWE speech that was mercifully ended when Randy gave Matt and RKO that wasn’t even out of nowhere. Matt was just too caught up in his speechifying to see it coming. Randy then smashed Matt’s head in with a chair. Where was the f*ck was the security that we saw earlier?
And, of course, Randy doesn’t pick the mic up again afterwards and tell us the thing he came out here to tell us, so that’s now two weeks in a row that they have promised this same thing and didn’t deliver.
SARAH SCHREIBER INTERVIEWS RUBY RIOTT- good
She wants to know why Ruby attacked Liv Morgan last week. Basically, Ruby is mad because Liv left her group, and she wants to show Liv that Liv is only good enough to be a follower. Normally I would wonder why Ruby Riott isn’t also going after Sarah Logan, but after Sarah’s performance earlier tonight, I doubt Ruby really even wants Saran in her group.
AKIRA TOZAWA vs. ALEISTER BLACK- squash
Come on! One more f*cking squash isn’t going to make Aleister Black look any better. Stop wasting our time and put him in an actual storyline!
ALEISTER BLACK PROMO- again… DO SOMETHING WITH HIM! Until you do, these promos serve no purpose and have no meaning, so they are just wastes of time.
BECKY LYNCH RETURNS TO THE ARENA- in the same ambulance… and with the lights on
Does WWE realize that if you show up in an ambulance, they don’t let you drive one when you check out? It’s either that (and Becky was driving around with the lights on even though there was no emergency) or she just drove around in circles and never went to the hospital in the first place.
BECKY LYNCH PROMO- great stuff… but why the hell did you do this this week instead of next week when you wouldn’t have had to do all of this stupid crap with your top babyface stealing an ambulance?
TAWAIQ MOUNTAIN TROPHY GAUNTLET MATCH ANNOUNCEMENT- It’s a random gauntlet match on the Saudi show from yet another trophy that I’m sure won’t actually be relevant again, just like the Greatest Royal Rumble trophy and title belt, and that trophy for being the best tag team that Gallows & Anderson won in a tag team gauntlet match at the last Saudi show.
The interesting news here is that AJ Styles was in the graphic for this even though the initial reports were that he would be lucky to return from injury in time for WrestleMania.
SETH ROLLINS, BUDDY MURPHY, & THE AUTHORS OF PAIN vs. SAMOA JOE, KEVIN OWENS, & THE VIKING RAIDERS- 7/10
The match was great and they had a very creative finish… but they once again felt the need to make Murphy look like a loser by having him tap before Seth saved his ass and basically gave him a pin. It would be no less cheating if you did this same thing but without Murphy tapping, so why make Murphy look like sh*t?
This episode of Raw was a mixed bag, but mostly bad. I’m finding the current format rather frustrating, as there is WAY too high a percentage of matches that are either squashes or very short. The real talking point coming out of tonight is the Baszler thing, which… WHY? Just… WHY?
