BRM Reviews the 3/12/2019 Smackdown
Posted: Mar 12th, '19, 22:14
OPENING SEGMENT- didn't like it
Shane comes out to the ring and they’ve got the Best in the World trophy there and Shane is throttling the ring announcer while ordering him to introduce him as “the best in the world” with “more conviction!” over and over again. No nuance. Someone just flipped the switch in his head from “good” to “evil” (well… it’s Shane, so it’s not so much “good” as “smarmy hypocritical douchebag who a lot of fans seem to like for some reason,” but you get what I’m trying to say).
Shane is apparently not just angry at Miz, but he is “tired of all of the people who have ever been in my life.” And he specified that that includes every single WWE employee and every single fan. Shane is upset that everyone comes to him and asks him how he can help them “get ahead in life.” Shane then said that he was now going to start only doing things for himself, and he was going to start by booking himself against Miz at WrestleMania so he could kick Miz’s ass again.
This whole thing is just so backwards and so frustratingly typical of WWE. Shane’s portrayal of his relationship with everyone in his life completely flies in the face of his portrayal over the past few years where he was always so proud of how he constantly lectured people about how they had to “earn” opportunities and then praised them when they earned said opportunities. 99% of people weren’t asking Shane for help getting ahead and Shane was so insistent that he wasn’t going to help anyone get anything he/she hadn’t earned, so what is he going on about now?
The big mistake that WWE made here was trying to make this broad instead of specific. Shane shouldn’t be angry at everyone. He should be angry at Miz and just Miz. His promo shouldn’t have mentioned anyone else. He should have spent the whole time talking about Miz was a “parasite” who struck up a friendship with him just to get a title shot and get the benefits of being friends with the boss.
And Miz’s response to this should be to admit that this was, in fact, his plan… at first. But then he began to see Shane as an actual friend, and all of that stuff about his father… that was all real. That was all Miz opening himself up to someone he thought was his friend- one of the first real friends he has made in the wrestling business, because knows he has a tendency to use people, whether consciously or not. But Shane’s acceptance helped him turn a corner and he didn’t want to be that guy anymore.
The problem, unfortunately, is that WWE is either unwilling or incapable of booking a nuanced story. For WWE it is all or nothing. If Shane is now evil then he must be evil to everyone. If Miz is the babyface in this story then he must have been a babyface from the moment the story began (because there was no actual turn that we saw on the screen).
I will admit that we are now only one promo into this turn, but I’ve been watching WWE long enough to be able to make an educated guess that Shane is just going to be a generic heel from now on, and as I pointed out above, that doesn’t fit here. There is a clear path from where Shane is to being a mostly generic heel and Shane even laid it out in his promo, but we need to be shown him travelling down that path first. If Shane is “only going to do things to help me,” then that Shane should not be favoring a heel without a reason. Maybe that heel has some cool famous friends Shane wants to be introduced to. If that Shane is going to give The Bar a title shot, he’s going to want them to protect him from a vengeful Miz first. That Shane isn’t going to give Mandy Rose a title shot just because he doesn’t like Asuka for some random reason, he’s going to want Mandy to give him something first (I’m not suggesting that they actually book that; just illustrating a point. But, for the record, I would totally mark out if they did something like that and then had Sonya Deville be disgusted with Mandy and they used that to turn Sonya babyface. It’s an angle that would definitely work, but it’s something I can only see happening in a more risqué company than WWE is right now… or likely ever will be again).
I also really don’t like the idea of Shane just booking himself against Miz at WrestleMania right now. As far as Shane is concerned, he already beat the sh*t out of Miz and should be done with him. The story from now until Mania should be about Miz’s need to get revenge on Shane and showing us what he is willing to do and what he is willing to suffer through in order to convince/force/trick Shane into booking the match to give him that chance at revenge. (Yes, I know that’s similar to Hunter/Batista, but they blew that part of that story off in one night, so why not tell it properly on the other show?)
Someone in the crowd has a “Vince hates pancakes” sign, which shows you how much damage the years of f*cking around with pancakes have done to New Day. Kofi is getting a big serious babyface push now, and some people still can’t separate it from the f*cking pancakes.
ALEISTER BLACK, RICOCHET. & THE HARDY BOYZ vs. SHEAMUS, CESARO, NAKAMURA, & RUSEV (w/Lana)- 6.25/10
They were having a pretty darn good tag team match until New Day ran in and caused a DQ. If they were pissed about the dirty and obviously coordinated assault on them at Fastlane why didn’t they run out at the beginning of the match? This made it look like they were waiting for the other babyfaces to do most of the work for them. Also, doing the run-in right away meant I wouldn’t have had to sit through over ten minutes of a match and get excited about it as it started to build to a finish only to have the possibility of having a satisfying conclusion taken away from me. Also, you would have had all of the extra time to distribute to your other matches to make those matches better.
New Day put quite the beating on the heels. One would think that the powers that be would disapprove of this action and that they would send security out to put a stop to it, but apparently not.
USOS PROMO- great!
RANDY ORTON & AJ STYLES SEGMENT- F*CKING FANTASTIC!
A battle of verbal haymaker after verbal haymaker, weaving kayfabe and reality together perfectly and full of “I didn’t think they’d go there” moments. In just one segment they’ve made me want to see this match more than any other match or the card, both rumored and confirmed. This has to be one of the better verbal back-and-forths in WWE in a very long time. This is the first thing that WWE has done since that first Ronda/Becky face-off that had a real “WrestleMania is coming” atmosphere.
ASUKA vs. SONYA DEVILLE (w/Mandy Rose)- 3.75/10
They did stuff. The finish aw Mandy get knocked down on the outside and so she tried to pull herself up using the ring skirt but her pulling on it made Sonya trip, allowing Asuka to easily finish Sonya off with the Asuka Lock. My guess is that this was supposed to be an accident but it looked a little too on purposeful for my taste. I’m all for Mandy being the spiteful jerk of the two, but everything she did afterwards makes me think that the idea is that it was an accident. Mandy tried to apologize to Sonya afterward but Sonya wouldn’t have it so Mandy left without her.
IICONICS PROMO- fine for what it was
They made fun of Mandy and Sonya a bit, then said they wanted a tag title shot. They reminded us that Sasha and Bayley said they be defending the titles across all brands but noted that they haven’t actually appeared on SD yet. Perhaps whoever is in charge of the show could book The IIconics in matches so they could accumulate some wins before they go around making challenges for title shots.
BECKY LYNCH PROMO & SEGMENT WITH CHARLOTTE- meh
She threw her crutch away and limped down to ringside instead. Like with Ronda last night, Becky came out to the ring, then just stood there while the announcers pitched to a video package that went well over a minute. Again: Why not just play the video before you have Becky come out?
She claimed to have manipulated Ronda into doing exactly what she wanted at the PPV. That’s a specious claim at best, especially when you consider that on Raw, Ronda pretty much mauled her and I don’t see any reason to believe that Becky knew Ronda wouldn’t do so again. The “one punch and Ronda walks away” bit feels a lot more like dumb luck on Becky’s part to me.
Otherwise, her promo was very good. She was predictably interrupted by Charlotte, because G-d forbid we have these two not interact for one whole week. Charlotte cut a great promo as well, to which Becky’s response sounds great in theory until you think about it for a second. Becky said that when Charlotte was the top star in the women’s division she “did nothing with it.”
Did nothing with it? I distinctly remember being told it was a HUGE deal when Charlotte and Sasha engaged in “the first-ever women’s Hell in a Cell Match/PPV main event/main roster Ironman Match” and when Charlotte was involved in the “first-ever women’s Money in the Bank Ladder Match” and set an all-time record for consecutive PPV victories. You know… all of that stuff that WWE told us to celebrate because it was evidence of how successful the Divas’/Women’s R/Evolution is. Is Becky saying that none of that means anything? That seems pretty heelish to me.
KAYLA BRAXTON CATCHES DANIEL BRYAN LEAVING VINCE’S OFFICE- didn’t like it.
Bryan apparently went to talk to Vince about Kofi, and the end result was Vince booking Bryan & Rowan vs. Owens & Ali for later tonight. He also mentioned some big announcement Vince is making later tonight, which, unless I missed something, is the first we have heard about any such announcement. This whole thing, from them cutting to Kayla seemingly for no reason to her just happening to be in the spot to see Bryan leaving Vince’s office to her not being phased one bit by the news that Vince is making some sort of big announcement tonight to her uncanny ability to guess what Bryan was talking to Vince about made this all feel very forced. Any one of these things I could let go, but all four together make the contrived nature of it much harder to ignore.
Corey Graves asked “when did Kayla Braxton become April O’Neil?” A few months ago when she started being a “backstage correspondent.” Duh. Have you not noticed that she’s been doing this for weeks now?
REY MYSTERIO JR. & R-TRUTH (w/Carmella) vs. SAMOA JOE & ANDRADE “CIEN” ALMAS (w/Zelina Vega)- 6/10
The announcers keep insisting to me that Rey and Andrade’s rivalry is “very personal” but it really hasn’t been portrayed that way at all. If it’s personal, I should be hearing them tell me why. “Almas thinks Rey can’t beat him” is not enough for a rivalry to be considered “personal.”
And now, tonight, we had Rey pin Joe while Truth and Almas’ manager once again had a physical altercation, so it looks like they’re going in separate directions for WrestleMania.
POST-MATCH SEGMENT- Joe was angry that he lost so he beat up Truth and Almas.
KEVIN OWENS & MUSTAFA ALI vs. DANIEL BRYAN & ERICK ROWAN- 6.75/10
Heels win clean when Rowan pins Ali after a claw-slam, which is now being called the “Iron Claw,” which is a bad idea because the “Iron Claw” is the name of the face-grabby submission. The slam version, which is not a submission, should have its own name.
VINCE MCMAHON OFFERS KOFI KINGSTON A “WRESTLEMANIA OPPORTUNITY”- didn’t like it
Vince prattled on for a while about the “teachable moment” at the PPV that was Kofi getting put in a Handicap Match. New Day interrupted him. Woods and Big E. had a great back-and-forth with Vince. One nit-pick I would have is that while I liked that Xavier did point out that when they say Kofi “deserves” something it is because he has done things to earn it, I think it would have been more effective if they had just said “Kofi has earned X” from the beginning because “earned” is both a better word free of negative connotations that can be twisted by Vince, but also because it fits in with the rhetoric that has been especially prevalent among SD authority figures since this brand split began.
One major problem I had with this was that it was very weird that Woods and Big E. did all of the talking for Kofi while Kofi seemingly stood there, seemingly on the verge of tears. I felt that Kofi needed to stand up for himself rather than having his friends do it.
Once Big E. and Xavier were done, Vince simply said that Kofi hasn’t been given a title shot because he’s not talented enough to get one. Vince said that Kofi would be a Hall of Famer one day, but the only as a member of New Day (which I honestly think is a fair statement, but then again, the f*cking Godfather is in there and Kofi has won several thousand more championships in WWE than Godfather did, so I guess he deserves to go in a as a singles wrestler, too).
Vince says that Daniel Bryan told him- and Vince agreed- that Kofi is a “B+ player.” This finally got Kofi to speak up, and he cut a promo during which he talked about how he is so happy and proud to be able to work for WWE and has never complained and has done everything Vince wanted and missed all of these family occasions and he just wants Vince to tell him what he needs to do to earn a title shot.
I really didn’t like this because it came off like begging. Kofi shouldn’t be begging. He should be telling Vince “f*ck you! I earned this and you’re going to give it to me. If you care one bit about the legitimacy of your beloved WWE Championship then you’re going to give me the title shot I earned by pinning the champion. If you care one bit about the WWE Universe, you’re going to give me the title shot they’ve been demanding that you give me ever since I pinned the WWE Champion.”
Then Orton came out and Vince said Kofi could have a title shot if he beat Orton. Then Joe came out, and Vince said Kofi would have to beat him, too. Then Sheamus & Cesaro, then Rowan, then Bryan. Vince told Kofi he’d have to win a Gauntlet Match next week. The heels all ran down to attack New Day six-on-three. If would have been nice if some of the other babyfaces actually came out to stand up for Kofi (Owens in particular, as doing so would validate his claims at really being a babyface now, but having Ali come out as well would be a nice little symbolic nod of approval that Ali bears no ill will towards the man who capitalized on his injury and took his spot. It turns out that New Day didn’t need any help, though, as they dispatched the heels, and we closed with a shot of Bryan and Vince standing on the ramp together, looking very unhappy.
Going back to a Gauntlet Match here is the sort of thing that strikes me as Creative thinking they’re being really clever when really they’re not. There is a difference between a motif and forced repetition. This is the latter. It’s also going to result in a large majority of next week’s show being dedicated to a match where the result is a foregone conclusion, and in which both male singles champions will be doing jobs- one of them to a guy he’s not facing at WrestleMana, and one of them to a guy he’s already lost cleanly to twice, meaning that the job won’t prove anything (there is no “Bryan can’t beat Kofi” story here because Bryan did beat Kofi at Elimination Chamber).
The other part I didn’t like was how involved Bryan seems to be with Vince. I certainly don’t buy that this Daniel Bryan snotty environmentalist would be able to be chummy with Vince, and I… well… I guess I just have trouble believing that Bryan would be willing to use the “B+ player” label to try to dissuade Vince from giving Kofi a title shot. This Daniel Bryan is an egotist who hates the fans and believes that he needs to be champion for the good of the planet, but his style is a very up front one. He’s not a guy who politics to keep contenders away from his title. He’s the guy who has his gigantic friend interfere in the title match to make sure he keeps the titles.
Also- and it’s entirely possible that this is by design- but there is something extremely annoying about seeing Vince working together with WWE World Heavyweight Champion Daniel Bryan in the build to Bryan defending his title at Mania while so much of the product over the past few years has been Vince’s complete and total inability to just give us what we want instead of fighting us every step of the way. The very fact that he’s standing there with Daniel Bryan as a major star and world champion should tell Vince that we know what we f*cking want, but on the other show he couldn’t keep his f*cking hands off of things and has completely ruined Becky vs. Ronda by forcing Charlotte in and using this completely cockamamie, hole-ridden “story” (if one can be so generous as to call it that).
Anyway, this was a pretty good episode of Smackdown, despite the stuff I really didn’t like. It was easy to sit through and extremely newsworthy, so it’s worth your time to watch it.
Shane comes out to the ring and they’ve got the Best in the World trophy there and Shane is throttling the ring announcer while ordering him to introduce him as “the best in the world” with “more conviction!” over and over again. No nuance. Someone just flipped the switch in his head from “good” to “evil” (well… it’s Shane, so it’s not so much “good” as “smarmy hypocritical douchebag who a lot of fans seem to like for some reason,” but you get what I’m trying to say).
Shane is apparently not just angry at Miz, but he is “tired of all of the people who have ever been in my life.” And he specified that that includes every single WWE employee and every single fan. Shane is upset that everyone comes to him and asks him how he can help them “get ahead in life.” Shane then said that he was now going to start only doing things for himself, and he was going to start by booking himself against Miz at WrestleMania so he could kick Miz’s ass again.
This whole thing is just so backwards and so frustratingly typical of WWE. Shane’s portrayal of his relationship with everyone in his life completely flies in the face of his portrayal over the past few years where he was always so proud of how he constantly lectured people about how they had to “earn” opportunities and then praised them when they earned said opportunities. 99% of people weren’t asking Shane for help getting ahead and Shane was so insistent that he wasn’t going to help anyone get anything he/she hadn’t earned, so what is he going on about now?
The big mistake that WWE made here was trying to make this broad instead of specific. Shane shouldn’t be angry at everyone. He should be angry at Miz and just Miz. His promo shouldn’t have mentioned anyone else. He should have spent the whole time talking about Miz was a “parasite” who struck up a friendship with him just to get a title shot and get the benefits of being friends with the boss.
And Miz’s response to this should be to admit that this was, in fact, his plan… at first. But then he began to see Shane as an actual friend, and all of that stuff about his father… that was all real. That was all Miz opening himself up to someone he thought was his friend- one of the first real friends he has made in the wrestling business, because knows he has a tendency to use people, whether consciously or not. But Shane’s acceptance helped him turn a corner and he didn’t want to be that guy anymore.
The problem, unfortunately, is that WWE is either unwilling or incapable of booking a nuanced story. For WWE it is all or nothing. If Shane is now evil then he must be evil to everyone. If Miz is the babyface in this story then he must have been a babyface from the moment the story began (because there was no actual turn that we saw on the screen).
I will admit that we are now only one promo into this turn, but I’ve been watching WWE long enough to be able to make an educated guess that Shane is just going to be a generic heel from now on, and as I pointed out above, that doesn’t fit here. There is a clear path from where Shane is to being a mostly generic heel and Shane even laid it out in his promo, but we need to be shown him travelling down that path first. If Shane is “only going to do things to help me,” then that Shane should not be favoring a heel without a reason. Maybe that heel has some cool famous friends Shane wants to be introduced to. If that Shane is going to give The Bar a title shot, he’s going to want them to protect him from a vengeful Miz first. That Shane isn’t going to give Mandy Rose a title shot just because he doesn’t like Asuka for some random reason, he’s going to want Mandy to give him something first (I’m not suggesting that they actually book that; just illustrating a point. But, for the record, I would totally mark out if they did something like that and then had Sonya Deville be disgusted with Mandy and they used that to turn Sonya babyface. It’s an angle that would definitely work, but it’s something I can only see happening in a more risqué company than WWE is right now… or likely ever will be again).
I also really don’t like the idea of Shane just booking himself against Miz at WrestleMania right now. As far as Shane is concerned, he already beat the sh*t out of Miz and should be done with him. The story from now until Mania should be about Miz’s need to get revenge on Shane and showing us what he is willing to do and what he is willing to suffer through in order to convince/force/trick Shane into booking the match to give him that chance at revenge. (Yes, I know that’s similar to Hunter/Batista, but they blew that part of that story off in one night, so why not tell it properly on the other show?)
Someone in the crowd has a “Vince hates pancakes” sign, which shows you how much damage the years of f*cking around with pancakes have done to New Day. Kofi is getting a big serious babyface push now, and some people still can’t separate it from the f*cking pancakes.
ALEISTER BLACK, RICOCHET. & THE HARDY BOYZ vs. SHEAMUS, CESARO, NAKAMURA, & RUSEV (w/Lana)- 6.25/10
They were having a pretty darn good tag team match until New Day ran in and caused a DQ. If they were pissed about the dirty and obviously coordinated assault on them at Fastlane why didn’t they run out at the beginning of the match? This made it look like they were waiting for the other babyfaces to do most of the work for them. Also, doing the run-in right away meant I wouldn’t have had to sit through over ten minutes of a match and get excited about it as it started to build to a finish only to have the possibility of having a satisfying conclusion taken away from me. Also, you would have had all of the extra time to distribute to your other matches to make those matches better.
New Day put quite the beating on the heels. One would think that the powers that be would disapprove of this action and that they would send security out to put a stop to it, but apparently not.
USOS PROMO- great!
RANDY ORTON & AJ STYLES SEGMENT- F*CKING FANTASTIC!
A battle of verbal haymaker after verbal haymaker, weaving kayfabe and reality together perfectly and full of “I didn’t think they’d go there” moments. In just one segment they’ve made me want to see this match more than any other match or the card, both rumored and confirmed. This has to be one of the better verbal back-and-forths in WWE in a very long time. This is the first thing that WWE has done since that first Ronda/Becky face-off that had a real “WrestleMania is coming” atmosphere.
ASUKA vs. SONYA DEVILLE (w/Mandy Rose)- 3.75/10
They did stuff. The finish aw Mandy get knocked down on the outside and so she tried to pull herself up using the ring skirt but her pulling on it made Sonya trip, allowing Asuka to easily finish Sonya off with the Asuka Lock. My guess is that this was supposed to be an accident but it looked a little too on purposeful for my taste. I’m all for Mandy being the spiteful jerk of the two, but everything she did afterwards makes me think that the idea is that it was an accident. Mandy tried to apologize to Sonya afterward but Sonya wouldn’t have it so Mandy left without her.
IICONICS PROMO- fine for what it was
They made fun of Mandy and Sonya a bit, then said they wanted a tag title shot. They reminded us that Sasha and Bayley said they be defending the titles across all brands but noted that they haven’t actually appeared on SD yet. Perhaps whoever is in charge of the show could book The IIconics in matches so they could accumulate some wins before they go around making challenges for title shots.
BECKY LYNCH PROMO & SEGMENT WITH CHARLOTTE- meh
She threw her crutch away and limped down to ringside instead. Like with Ronda last night, Becky came out to the ring, then just stood there while the announcers pitched to a video package that went well over a minute. Again: Why not just play the video before you have Becky come out?
She claimed to have manipulated Ronda into doing exactly what she wanted at the PPV. That’s a specious claim at best, especially when you consider that on Raw, Ronda pretty much mauled her and I don’t see any reason to believe that Becky knew Ronda wouldn’t do so again. The “one punch and Ronda walks away” bit feels a lot more like dumb luck on Becky’s part to me.
Otherwise, her promo was very good. She was predictably interrupted by Charlotte, because G-d forbid we have these two not interact for one whole week. Charlotte cut a great promo as well, to which Becky’s response sounds great in theory until you think about it for a second. Becky said that when Charlotte was the top star in the women’s division she “did nothing with it.”
Did nothing with it? I distinctly remember being told it was a HUGE deal when Charlotte and Sasha engaged in “the first-ever women’s Hell in a Cell Match/PPV main event/main roster Ironman Match” and when Charlotte was involved in the “first-ever women’s Money in the Bank Ladder Match” and set an all-time record for consecutive PPV victories. You know… all of that stuff that WWE told us to celebrate because it was evidence of how successful the Divas’/Women’s R/Evolution is. Is Becky saying that none of that means anything? That seems pretty heelish to me.
KAYLA BRAXTON CATCHES DANIEL BRYAN LEAVING VINCE’S OFFICE- didn’t like it.
Bryan apparently went to talk to Vince about Kofi, and the end result was Vince booking Bryan & Rowan vs. Owens & Ali for later tonight. He also mentioned some big announcement Vince is making later tonight, which, unless I missed something, is the first we have heard about any such announcement. This whole thing, from them cutting to Kayla seemingly for no reason to her just happening to be in the spot to see Bryan leaving Vince’s office to her not being phased one bit by the news that Vince is making some sort of big announcement tonight to her uncanny ability to guess what Bryan was talking to Vince about made this all feel very forced. Any one of these things I could let go, but all four together make the contrived nature of it much harder to ignore.
Corey Graves asked “when did Kayla Braxton become April O’Neil?” A few months ago when she started being a “backstage correspondent.” Duh. Have you not noticed that she’s been doing this for weeks now?
REY MYSTERIO JR. & R-TRUTH (w/Carmella) vs. SAMOA JOE & ANDRADE “CIEN” ALMAS (w/Zelina Vega)- 6/10
The announcers keep insisting to me that Rey and Andrade’s rivalry is “very personal” but it really hasn’t been portrayed that way at all. If it’s personal, I should be hearing them tell me why. “Almas thinks Rey can’t beat him” is not enough for a rivalry to be considered “personal.”
And now, tonight, we had Rey pin Joe while Truth and Almas’ manager once again had a physical altercation, so it looks like they’re going in separate directions for WrestleMania.
POST-MATCH SEGMENT- Joe was angry that he lost so he beat up Truth and Almas.
KEVIN OWENS & MUSTAFA ALI vs. DANIEL BRYAN & ERICK ROWAN- 6.75/10
Heels win clean when Rowan pins Ali after a claw-slam, which is now being called the “Iron Claw,” which is a bad idea because the “Iron Claw” is the name of the face-grabby submission. The slam version, which is not a submission, should have its own name.
VINCE MCMAHON OFFERS KOFI KINGSTON A “WRESTLEMANIA OPPORTUNITY”- didn’t like it
Vince prattled on for a while about the “teachable moment” at the PPV that was Kofi getting put in a Handicap Match. New Day interrupted him. Woods and Big E. had a great back-and-forth with Vince. One nit-pick I would have is that while I liked that Xavier did point out that when they say Kofi “deserves” something it is because he has done things to earn it, I think it would have been more effective if they had just said “Kofi has earned X” from the beginning because “earned” is both a better word free of negative connotations that can be twisted by Vince, but also because it fits in with the rhetoric that has been especially prevalent among SD authority figures since this brand split began.
One major problem I had with this was that it was very weird that Woods and Big E. did all of the talking for Kofi while Kofi seemingly stood there, seemingly on the verge of tears. I felt that Kofi needed to stand up for himself rather than having his friends do it.
Once Big E. and Xavier were done, Vince simply said that Kofi hasn’t been given a title shot because he’s not talented enough to get one. Vince said that Kofi would be a Hall of Famer one day, but the only as a member of New Day (which I honestly think is a fair statement, but then again, the f*cking Godfather is in there and Kofi has won several thousand more championships in WWE than Godfather did, so I guess he deserves to go in a as a singles wrestler, too).
Vince says that Daniel Bryan told him- and Vince agreed- that Kofi is a “B+ player.” This finally got Kofi to speak up, and he cut a promo during which he talked about how he is so happy and proud to be able to work for WWE and has never complained and has done everything Vince wanted and missed all of these family occasions and he just wants Vince to tell him what he needs to do to earn a title shot.
I really didn’t like this because it came off like begging. Kofi shouldn’t be begging. He should be telling Vince “f*ck you! I earned this and you’re going to give it to me. If you care one bit about the legitimacy of your beloved WWE Championship then you’re going to give me the title shot I earned by pinning the champion. If you care one bit about the WWE Universe, you’re going to give me the title shot they’ve been demanding that you give me ever since I pinned the WWE Champion.”
Then Orton came out and Vince said Kofi could have a title shot if he beat Orton. Then Joe came out, and Vince said Kofi would have to beat him, too. Then Sheamus & Cesaro, then Rowan, then Bryan. Vince told Kofi he’d have to win a Gauntlet Match next week. The heels all ran down to attack New Day six-on-three. If would have been nice if some of the other babyfaces actually came out to stand up for Kofi (Owens in particular, as doing so would validate his claims at really being a babyface now, but having Ali come out as well would be a nice little symbolic nod of approval that Ali bears no ill will towards the man who capitalized on his injury and took his spot. It turns out that New Day didn’t need any help, though, as they dispatched the heels, and we closed with a shot of Bryan and Vince standing on the ramp together, looking very unhappy.
Going back to a Gauntlet Match here is the sort of thing that strikes me as Creative thinking they’re being really clever when really they’re not. There is a difference between a motif and forced repetition. This is the latter. It’s also going to result in a large majority of next week’s show being dedicated to a match where the result is a foregone conclusion, and in which both male singles champions will be doing jobs- one of them to a guy he’s not facing at WrestleMana, and one of them to a guy he’s already lost cleanly to twice, meaning that the job won’t prove anything (there is no “Bryan can’t beat Kofi” story here because Bryan did beat Kofi at Elimination Chamber).
The other part I didn’t like was how involved Bryan seems to be with Vince. I certainly don’t buy that this Daniel Bryan snotty environmentalist would be able to be chummy with Vince, and I… well… I guess I just have trouble believing that Bryan would be willing to use the “B+ player” label to try to dissuade Vince from giving Kofi a title shot. This Daniel Bryan is an egotist who hates the fans and believes that he needs to be champion for the good of the planet, but his style is a very up front one. He’s not a guy who politics to keep contenders away from his title. He’s the guy who has his gigantic friend interfere in the title match to make sure he keeps the titles.
Also- and it’s entirely possible that this is by design- but there is something extremely annoying about seeing Vince working together with WWE World Heavyweight Champion Daniel Bryan in the build to Bryan defending his title at Mania while so much of the product over the past few years has been Vince’s complete and total inability to just give us what we want instead of fighting us every step of the way. The very fact that he’s standing there with Daniel Bryan as a major star and world champion should tell Vince that we know what we f*cking want, but on the other show he couldn’t keep his f*cking hands off of things and has completely ruined Becky vs. Ronda by forcing Charlotte in and using this completely cockamamie, hole-ridden “story” (if one can be so generous as to call it that).
Anyway, this was a pretty good episode of Smackdown, despite the stuff I really didn’t like. It was easy to sit through and extremely newsworthy, so it’s worth your time to watch it.