BRM Reviews the 2/19/2019 Smackdown (very good)
Posted: Feb 19th, '19, 23:21
OPENING SEGMENT- bad
Shane comes out, but seeing as how they just showed a graphic that tonight’s main event is going to be Bryan, Orton & Joe vs. Kofi, Jeff Hardy, & AJ, I doubt we’re going to get the hyped announcement of who Bryan’s next challenger will be before the end of that match.
Shane plugs the main event, and also tells us that four NXT call-ups from last night will also be on tonight’s show. Miz came out to interrupt Shane so he could “apologize” to him, saving us from more of Shane’s dry attempts at hyping the show.
Miz starts up with the sob story and begs Shane to use his power to book a rematch. He even gets the crowd all chanting “REMATCH!” The Usos come out and say that Miz is “a joke,” “a failure,” “a loser” and many other mean names. They suggest that Shane find another partner instead. So are The Usos supposed to be babyfaces or heels right now?
Shane gets angry at The Usos for disrespecting The Miz, and just books himself and his buddy in a title match even though we have been told several times over the past two months- usually by Shane himself- that automatic rematch clauses were “antiquated” and that to receive one was to be granted a title opportunity that you did not earn. Charlotte and Becky wanted a rematch because Ronda Rousey interfered in their title match and they were told to stop whining and earn another title shot, but once again we see that Shane O’Mac will bend the rules as he sees fit, based purely on favoritism.
And while we’re on the subject of such rematches, I feel the need to point out that the wrestlers all seem to like them, champions don’t seem to have a problem granting them, and the fans love them… so why did WWE think it was a good idea to take them away?
In a wonderfully amusing twist, when Shane announced that he and Miz would get their rematch at Fastlane in Miz’s home city of Cleveland, all of the fans in the crowd who had previously been loudly chanting “REMATCH!” all started to boo because said rematch would be taking place elsewhere. That cracked me up.
Tom Phillips described this as “The Usos goading Shane McMahon” into signing this match. Tom’s not wrong, but it’s still pretty bizarre to see the heels “goad” the babyface authority figure into letting them defend their titles.
ALEISTER BLACK vs. ANDRADE “CIEN” ALMAS (w/Zelina Vega)- 7/10
A great match, especially for the time it got, and crowd was very into it. That being said, Almas getting beaten here, combined with both his and Rey Mysterio Jr.’s recent absences from Smackdown makes their burgeoning feud seem all but forgotten, with Almas feeling like he has dropped back down to that role of “guy who gets used to put the new guy over.”
After some of the history between these two men was discussed, Corey Graves noted that “this is the first time the vast majority of the WWE Universe will have the opportunity to see these two compete against one another.”
No, Corey. No, no, no. Don’t let them off the hook for not watching NXT. They all have the “opportunity” to do so. All it takes is a WWE Network subscription. Anyone who is not watching NXT or 205 Live should be doing so, and your job as an announcer is to encourage them.
KAYLA BRAXTON INTERVIEWS TOMMASO CIAMPA & JOHNNY GARGANO- Yup. They’re friends again. Sheamus & Cesaro showed up to insult them and tell them to go away. Barbs were exchanged. This should be an awesome match, when it happens.
MAIN EVENT BABYFACES BACKSTAGE- Kofi is back to doing goofy pancake sh*t. So much for the idea that they would try to capitalize on this rare opportunity to make star. Silly me for thinking it.
Kofi offered AJ and Jeff a “pancake branch” which appears to be a tree branch that he impaled some pancakes on. AJ Styles took one of the pancakes off of the branch and ate it. I’m trying really hard not make a comment about him being a dumb hick who doesn’t understand how diseases work and would thus eat something that spent a significant amount of time touching a tree-branch without washing it first, but AJ’s not making this easy on me.
SHEAMUS & CESARO vs. TOMMASO CIAMPA & JOHNNY GARGANO- 6.75/10
The match was nowhere near as good as I hoped, but was fine for the time it got, especially because of the very scary moment where it looked like Ciampa might have hurt his knee again. He seemed fully mobile by the end of the match, but it was quite worrying at the time. Ciampa pinned Cesaro with a roll-up.
KAYLA BRAXTON INTERVIEWS ASUKA- fine
How the hell was the first question out of Kayla’s mouth not “where have you been for the past month?” Asuka said she didn’t want to talk about Becky and Charlotte; she just wanted to know who her next challenger would be.
Mandy & Sonya came out, Mandy cut a promo and suddenly we had…
ASUKA vs. MANDY ROSE (w/Sonya Deville)- 4/10
Based on Asuka’s promo you’d have thought that this was going to wind up as a title match but it wasn’t. A few moments in, Lacey Evans’ music hit and she just strutted down the ramp, turned around and walked right back. Her outfits get more stereotypically southern by the day. I was really hoping that Sonya Deville would just run up to her and knock her out with a flying knee to the face but it didn’t happen.
This created a distraction which allowed Mandy to slam Asuka’s head into the turnbuckle, hit a Russian Leg Sweep and go for the cover and I will admit that there was a split second where I actually thought that was going to be the finish, but Asuka kicked out at one, got up and kept fighting.
But getting back to flying knees to the face, Mandy Rose nailed Asuka with a SICK one on the outside that led to a count-out tease. Asuka made her comeback soon afterwards and kicked Mandy’s ass for a while. Mandy got kneed in the face and screamed about what basically everyone other than the referee realized was a faked eye injury, but she managed to catch Asuka off guard after the referee pulled her back and dropped her throat into the rope, then rolled her up and pinned her.
A NEW INTERVIEWER INTERVIEWS CHARLOTTE ABOUT BECKY LYNCH- an AWESOME heel promo on the whole Becky situation and telling everyone to just deal with the fact that it’s going to be Charlotte vs. Ronda one-on-one at WrestleMania.
MIZ & SHANE MEET IN THE HALLWAY- Miz tells Shane that Mr. Mizanin will be at ringside at Fastlane.
RICOCHET vs. ERIC YOUNG (w/SAnitY)- 5.75/10
Yeah… Eric Young is not someone I would have put Ricochet in the ring with to help get his athletic abilities over. The match was… fine. Notably, Nikki Cross was not out here as part of SAnitY.
KAYLA BRAXTON INTERVIEWS THE NEW DAY- Good
Kofi did pretty much all of the talking.
KEVIN OWENS SELFIE PROMO- the exact same thing we saw last night on Raw.
DANIEL BRYAN PROMO- This was a decent heel promo, but he didn’t say anything of note.
RANDY ORTON, SAMOA JOE, & DANIEL BRYAN (w/Erick Rowan)(c) vs. JEFF HARDY, AJ STYLE,S & KOFI KINGSTON (w/The New Day)- 7/10
A fun six-man tag ending in Kofi pinning Bryan. Shane McMahon then came out and announced that Kofi would be the #1 contender. Since they had promised to name a #1 contender tonight well before the show began (never mind before the match ended), I wonder who they would have named #1 contender if Bryan had gotten the victory in this match.
A very good episode of Smackdown, both in the ring and in terms of immediately setting things up for the PPV in less than three weeks.
STUPID ANNOUNCER QUOTES:
1. Byron Saxton- “Aleister Black represents everything that is not the status quo.”
So Aleister Black represents slavery? And a nuclear holocaust? And Osama Bin Laden being alive? And Hornswoggle being the WWE Champion? And the time before our benevolent mother-saint Stephanie McMahon declared the Women’s Evolution. Because all of those things are “not the status quo,” which is what Byron just told us that Aleister Black represents.
This Stupid Announcer Quote has been brought to you by the Committee to Encourage Announcers to Think Before Speaking.
2. Byron Saxton talked about how both The Bar and DIY were “former rivals that evolved into successful tag teams.”
Except that this is DIY’s third time teaming up since enemies and unlike The Bar, they were a successful team long before they ever feuded. I guess we can add Byron to the list of people who don’t watch NXT.
Shane comes out, but seeing as how they just showed a graphic that tonight’s main event is going to be Bryan, Orton & Joe vs. Kofi, Jeff Hardy, & AJ, I doubt we’re going to get the hyped announcement of who Bryan’s next challenger will be before the end of that match.
Shane plugs the main event, and also tells us that four NXT call-ups from last night will also be on tonight’s show. Miz came out to interrupt Shane so he could “apologize” to him, saving us from more of Shane’s dry attempts at hyping the show.
Miz starts up with the sob story and begs Shane to use his power to book a rematch. He even gets the crowd all chanting “REMATCH!” The Usos come out and say that Miz is “a joke,” “a failure,” “a loser” and many other mean names. They suggest that Shane find another partner instead. So are The Usos supposed to be babyfaces or heels right now?
Shane gets angry at The Usos for disrespecting The Miz, and just books himself and his buddy in a title match even though we have been told several times over the past two months- usually by Shane himself- that automatic rematch clauses were “antiquated” and that to receive one was to be granted a title opportunity that you did not earn. Charlotte and Becky wanted a rematch because Ronda Rousey interfered in their title match and they were told to stop whining and earn another title shot, but once again we see that Shane O’Mac will bend the rules as he sees fit, based purely on favoritism.
And while we’re on the subject of such rematches, I feel the need to point out that the wrestlers all seem to like them, champions don’t seem to have a problem granting them, and the fans love them… so why did WWE think it was a good idea to take them away?
In a wonderfully amusing twist, when Shane announced that he and Miz would get their rematch at Fastlane in Miz’s home city of Cleveland, all of the fans in the crowd who had previously been loudly chanting “REMATCH!” all started to boo because said rematch would be taking place elsewhere. That cracked me up.
Tom Phillips described this as “The Usos goading Shane McMahon” into signing this match. Tom’s not wrong, but it’s still pretty bizarre to see the heels “goad” the babyface authority figure into letting them defend their titles.
ALEISTER BLACK vs. ANDRADE “CIEN” ALMAS (w/Zelina Vega)- 7/10
A great match, especially for the time it got, and crowd was very into it. That being said, Almas getting beaten here, combined with both his and Rey Mysterio Jr.’s recent absences from Smackdown makes their burgeoning feud seem all but forgotten, with Almas feeling like he has dropped back down to that role of “guy who gets used to put the new guy over.”
After some of the history between these two men was discussed, Corey Graves noted that “this is the first time the vast majority of the WWE Universe will have the opportunity to see these two compete against one another.”
No, Corey. No, no, no. Don’t let them off the hook for not watching NXT. They all have the “opportunity” to do so. All it takes is a WWE Network subscription. Anyone who is not watching NXT or 205 Live should be doing so, and your job as an announcer is to encourage them.
KAYLA BRAXTON INTERVIEWS TOMMASO CIAMPA & JOHNNY GARGANO- Yup. They’re friends again. Sheamus & Cesaro showed up to insult them and tell them to go away. Barbs were exchanged. This should be an awesome match, when it happens.
MAIN EVENT BABYFACES BACKSTAGE- Kofi is back to doing goofy pancake sh*t. So much for the idea that they would try to capitalize on this rare opportunity to make star. Silly me for thinking it.
Kofi offered AJ and Jeff a “pancake branch” which appears to be a tree branch that he impaled some pancakes on. AJ Styles took one of the pancakes off of the branch and ate it. I’m trying really hard not make a comment about him being a dumb hick who doesn’t understand how diseases work and would thus eat something that spent a significant amount of time touching a tree-branch without washing it first, but AJ’s not making this easy on me.
SHEAMUS & CESARO vs. TOMMASO CIAMPA & JOHNNY GARGANO- 6.75/10
The match was nowhere near as good as I hoped, but was fine for the time it got, especially because of the very scary moment where it looked like Ciampa might have hurt his knee again. He seemed fully mobile by the end of the match, but it was quite worrying at the time. Ciampa pinned Cesaro with a roll-up.
KAYLA BRAXTON INTERVIEWS ASUKA- fine
How the hell was the first question out of Kayla’s mouth not “where have you been for the past month?” Asuka said she didn’t want to talk about Becky and Charlotte; she just wanted to know who her next challenger would be.
Mandy & Sonya came out, Mandy cut a promo and suddenly we had…
ASUKA vs. MANDY ROSE (w/Sonya Deville)- 4/10
Based on Asuka’s promo you’d have thought that this was going to wind up as a title match but it wasn’t. A few moments in, Lacey Evans’ music hit and she just strutted down the ramp, turned around and walked right back. Her outfits get more stereotypically southern by the day. I was really hoping that Sonya Deville would just run up to her and knock her out with a flying knee to the face but it didn’t happen.
This created a distraction which allowed Mandy to slam Asuka’s head into the turnbuckle, hit a Russian Leg Sweep and go for the cover and I will admit that there was a split second where I actually thought that was going to be the finish, but Asuka kicked out at one, got up and kept fighting.
But getting back to flying knees to the face, Mandy Rose nailed Asuka with a SICK one on the outside that led to a count-out tease. Asuka made her comeback soon afterwards and kicked Mandy’s ass for a while. Mandy got kneed in the face and screamed about what basically everyone other than the referee realized was a faked eye injury, but she managed to catch Asuka off guard after the referee pulled her back and dropped her throat into the rope, then rolled her up and pinned her.
A NEW INTERVIEWER INTERVIEWS CHARLOTTE ABOUT BECKY LYNCH- an AWESOME heel promo on the whole Becky situation and telling everyone to just deal with the fact that it’s going to be Charlotte vs. Ronda one-on-one at WrestleMania.
MIZ & SHANE MEET IN THE HALLWAY- Miz tells Shane that Mr. Mizanin will be at ringside at Fastlane.
RICOCHET vs. ERIC YOUNG (w/SAnitY)- 5.75/10
Yeah… Eric Young is not someone I would have put Ricochet in the ring with to help get his athletic abilities over. The match was… fine. Notably, Nikki Cross was not out here as part of SAnitY.
KAYLA BRAXTON INTERVIEWS THE NEW DAY- Good
Kofi did pretty much all of the talking.
KEVIN OWENS SELFIE PROMO- the exact same thing we saw last night on Raw.
DANIEL BRYAN PROMO- This was a decent heel promo, but he didn’t say anything of note.
RANDY ORTON, SAMOA JOE, & DANIEL BRYAN (w/Erick Rowan)(c) vs. JEFF HARDY, AJ STYLE,S & KOFI KINGSTON (w/The New Day)- 7/10
A fun six-man tag ending in Kofi pinning Bryan. Shane McMahon then came out and announced that Kofi would be the #1 contender. Since they had promised to name a #1 contender tonight well before the show began (never mind before the match ended), I wonder who they would have named #1 contender if Bryan had gotten the victory in this match.
A very good episode of Smackdown, both in the ring and in terms of immediately setting things up for the PPV in less than three weeks.
STUPID ANNOUNCER QUOTES:
1. Byron Saxton- “Aleister Black represents everything that is not the status quo.”
So Aleister Black represents slavery? And a nuclear holocaust? And Osama Bin Laden being alive? And Hornswoggle being the WWE Champion? And the time before our benevolent mother-saint Stephanie McMahon declared the Women’s Evolution. Because all of those things are “not the status quo,” which is what Byron just told us that Aleister Black represents.
This Stupid Announcer Quote has been brought to you by the Committee to Encourage Announcers to Think Before Speaking.
2. Byron Saxton talked about how both The Bar and DIY were “former rivals that evolved into successful tag teams.”
Except that this is DIY’s third time teaming up since enemies and unlike The Bar, they were a successful team long before they ever feuded. I guess we can add Byron to the list of people who don’t watch NXT.
