BRM Reviews the 6/19 2018 Smackdown (I Think Hunter Might Be Booking This Now)
Posted: Jun 20th, '18, 00:31
PAIGE GIVES A SHOW-OPENING SPEECH BACKSTAGE- she puts over Smackdown results from the PPV, then announces that we’ll determine AJ’s next challenger by having “the first-even five-man Gauntlet Match on Smackdown Live.” Was that “first-ever” really necessary here?
Anyway, Paige explained the rules, then announced the participants: Rusev, Joe, Miz, Big E., and Bryan. I really liked the way they did this. It felt like a very “real sports” announcement. It was the sort of thing you’d see Regal do on NXT and that Drake Maverick has been doing every week on 205 Live. It’s much more effective an SOOOOOOO much more natural than having the authority figure filter the information to us through fake phone conversations with someone else (or real conversations with someone else backstage, for that matter) and doing it this way means you can pre-tape it so you won’t get some marble-mouth like Kurt or Shane f*cking up.
OPENING SEGMENT- very good
Carmella came out wearing an extremely small tube top that made her look rather trashy, and certainly not like a dignified champion. She then cuts one of those heel promos that WWE loves so much where the heel starts with what feels like a sincere babyface promo only to set up a swerve that everyone knows is coming and yet the heel claims to have fooled everyone anyway… but as usual, Carmella manages to make it work with her over the top way of pointing out exactly what she was going. She has definitely found her character and knows how to make it work. This wouldn’t have worked coming out of anyone else’s mouth.
Carmella then engaged in her customary running of her mouth. She claims that she won the match all by herself, which is at least in-keeping with her character. Asuka’s music hit and I’m sure you see where this went. Ellsworth declared that “NO ONE IS READY FOR ELLSWORTH!” which was a great line. He seems to have adjusted his character to fit her current character a bit better now. He said that Carmella was “the best woman ever” and then listed off several women that Carmella was better than by name, including Trish, Lita, Mother Teresa, and Beyonce.
The real Asuka came out. Ellsworth got in her face, so she kicked him in the stomach, but this allowed Carmella to level Asuka with a kick to the face and the heels walked off.
IICONICS PROMO- bad, but less embarrassing than usual, so that’s a step in the right direction, I guess.
BECKY LYNCH vs. BILLIE KAY (w/Peyton Royce)- 4/10
They had a lot of problems with their video signal during this match, but am considering it a gift from above that the only times the audio cut out were perfectly time for me to be able to believe that the announcers were just cursing on commentary (right after Tom Phillips said the word “holy!” after Becky hit Kay with a Bexploder, and then when Corey Graves said that he thinks the heels “have a valid ______ point”).
Becky beat Billie up for a while. Billie got some heat after a distraction by Peyton but Becky made her comeback and won. Billie and Peyton continued to be gigantic losers.
JEFF HARDY PROMO ON NAKAMURA- fine
They shot this on a black background, with Jeff facing away from the camera. They’re letting Jeff come up with his own stuff again, so this was a little weird. He turned around and revealed that he’s wearing facepaint again. Also, really weird contact lenses. He’s not happy with Nakamura.
Tom Phillips claimed that Eric Young was a “master manipulator.” This was a part of a painfully scripted and choreographed three-part introduction by the announcers to SAnitY, which concluded, appropriately, with Byron Saxton saying the following:
“Then there is Alexander Wolfe, the most erratic and aerobic member of SAnitY. There is literally nothing Wolfe will not do to ensure the cause of chaos of SAnitY.” Whoever wrote this should have been shot. We then then told by Tom Phillips that “the madness is here.” We then cut a video of three members of SAnitY’s shadows illuminated with a red light on a white stone wall. We heard lots of mad cackling before Eric Young’s voice declared that “chaos has arrived!” and they walked off. Then we cut to a more elaborate-seemingly video of cars on fire and so forth. That was wacky. Then we were told the SAnitY vs. The Usos is next.
RENEE YOUNG INTERVIEWS DANIEL BRYAN- Renee was wearing a jacket that Drake Maverick would have considered so visually abrasive as to be unwearable, (even when he was Rockstar Spud).
Bryan cut a great promo, then did some goofy comedy with Renee. I could have done without the comedy.
USOS PROMO- good promo
THE USOS vs. SAnitY (w/Killian Dain)- no rating, okay segment.
SAnitY jumped the bell on The Usos. For some reason no referee ever even came out even though the match was scheduled and announced and both teams had their official entrances. SAnitY beat up The Usos. They were crazy, but in a goofy way rather than a scary way. They did come off as a dominant force, though, so that was good.
GALLOWS & ANDERSON BACKSTAGE- they were goofballs. Apparently they’re being given another title shot for no reason, and that shot is next.
Before the commercial, we got a shot of the Bludgeon Brothers with their scary masks, but they didn’t talk or do any of the other lame sh*t they’ve been doing lately, so that was an improvement.
RENEE YOUNG INTERVIEWS SHINSUKE NAKAMURA- good
I really liked the fact that when this started off seeming like Nakamura had requested this interview just to do his “I don’t speak English anymore” shtick, they actually let Renee stand up for herself and tell him that if he just wanted this interview so he could troll her, she’s going to leave.
It turns out Nakamura wasn’t doing that, though, and when he said “What is ‘loss’” he was asking a more existential question. He denied the fact that he really lost last night, claiming not only that the referee counted too fast, but also that the referee counting in English was unfair to him. That was a great bullsh*t heel line (for those who don’t know, in pro wrestling matches in Japan, they do all of their counting in English). He then cut a promo warning Jeff Hardy not to mess with him.
Apparently “up next” means after one backstage segment, a commercial one recap of a title match from the PPV, one backstage interview, and then another commercial. If something isn’t going to be the next thing you show, don’t tell me that it’s “up next,” and that goes doubly so for if there is going to be ANOTHER commercial between now and then.
WWE SMACKDOWN TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH: The Bludgeon Brothers(c) vs. Luke Gallows & Karl Anderson- 4/10
This match started during a commercial. It was very short with Gallows and Anderson losing again, and not doing any better than they did at Money in the Bank so what was even the point of doing this?
POST-MATCH SEGMENT- weird
Daniel Bryan came out for the Gauntlet Match basically right after the match ended. He stood between the two Bludgeon Brothers and had a stare-down with them. Then his music started again and he just continued on his way down to the ring.
WWE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE #1 CONTENDERSHIP GAUNTLET MATCH: Daniel Bryan vs. Big E. vs. Samoa Joe vs. The MIz vs. Rusev (w/Aiden English)- 8.25/10
The Bryan vs. Big E. and Bryan vs. Joe portions of this were wonderful! Bryan’s matches feel so different from everyone else in the company, and that’s because he seems to be purposely trying to make them feel different. There are guys pulling out moves we haven’t seen in years like torture racks and stretch mufflers, and it’s a great mix of American psychology with Japanese-style cut-off. And the way they did the Joe finish was GENIUS. Hopefully he’s okay after being powerslammed onto his head.
After the Joe match, the Bludgeon Brothers attacked Bryan, allowing Miz to then come out and get the easy pin on him. Is Bryan going for the tag titles now? Who would he even team with?
The Miz vs. Rusev part of this was decent, and Rusev winning a got a big pop. AJ Styles came out for a stare-down after the match. Aiden English offered AJ a handshake but then snubbed him just to be a dick so AJ dropped him with one punch.
I could be talking out of my ass here, but I think Hunter might be running things on Smackdown now. Paige spoke right into the camera during her opening bit, pretty much everything else the wrestlers said felt like it was truly their own words, the Jeff Hardy promo was shot very differently, the whole card was booked before the show started, Renee was allowed to stand up for herself a bit, the Nakamura vs. Jeff storyline moved forward without rushing to a confrontation like main roster WWE almost always does to start off a feud, and there were zero mentions of pancakes or any such similar bullsh*t. This was a very enjoyable show. I hope this continues.
Anyway, Paige explained the rules, then announced the participants: Rusev, Joe, Miz, Big E., and Bryan. I really liked the way they did this. It felt like a very “real sports” announcement. It was the sort of thing you’d see Regal do on NXT and that Drake Maverick has been doing every week on 205 Live. It’s much more effective an SOOOOOOO much more natural than having the authority figure filter the information to us through fake phone conversations with someone else (or real conversations with someone else backstage, for that matter) and doing it this way means you can pre-tape it so you won’t get some marble-mouth like Kurt or Shane f*cking up.
OPENING SEGMENT- very good
Carmella came out wearing an extremely small tube top that made her look rather trashy, and certainly not like a dignified champion. She then cuts one of those heel promos that WWE loves so much where the heel starts with what feels like a sincere babyface promo only to set up a swerve that everyone knows is coming and yet the heel claims to have fooled everyone anyway… but as usual, Carmella manages to make it work with her over the top way of pointing out exactly what she was going. She has definitely found her character and knows how to make it work. This wouldn’t have worked coming out of anyone else’s mouth.
Carmella then engaged in her customary running of her mouth. She claims that she won the match all by herself, which is at least in-keeping with her character. Asuka’s music hit and I’m sure you see where this went. Ellsworth declared that “NO ONE IS READY FOR ELLSWORTH!” which was a great line. He seems to have adjusted his character to fit her current character a bit better now. He said that Carmella was “the best woman ever” and then listed off several women that Carmella was better than by name, including Trish, Lita, Mother Teresa, and Beyonce.
The real Asuka came out. Ellsworth got in her face, so she kicked him in the stomach, but this allowed Carmella to level Asuka with a kick to the face and the heels walked off.
IICONICS PROMO- bad, but less embarrassing than usual, so that’s a step in the right direction, I guess.
BECKY LYNCH vs. BILLIE KAY (w/Peyton Royce)- 4/10
They had a lot of problems with their video signal during this match, but am considering it a gift from above that the only times the audio cut out were perfectly time for me to be able to believe that the announcers were just cursing on commentary (right after Tom Phillips said the word “holy!” after Becky hit Kay with a Bexploder, and then when Corey Graves said that he thinks the heels “have a valid ______ point”).
Becky beat Billie up for a while. Billie got some heat after a distraction by Peyton but Becky made her comeback and won. Billie and Peyton continued to be gigantic losers.
JEFF HARDY PROMO ON NAKAMURA- fine
They shot this on a black background, with Jeff facing away from the camera. They’re letting Jeff come up with his own stuff again, so this was a little weird. He turned around and revealed that he’s wearing facepaint again. Also, really weird contact lenses. He’s not happy with Nakamura.
Tom Phillips claimed that Eric Young was a “master manipulator.” This was a part of a painfully scripted and choreographed three-part introduction by the announcers to SAnitY, which concluded, appropriately, with Byron Saxton saying the following:
“Then there is Alexander Wolfe, the most erratic and aerobic member of SAnitY. There is literally nothing Wolfe will not do to ensure the cause of chaos of SAnitY.” Whoever wrote this should have been shot. We then then told by Tom Phillips that “the madness is here.” We then cut a video of three members of SAnitY’s shadows illuminated with a red light on a white stone wall. We heard lots of mad cackling before Eric Young’s voice declared that “chaos has arrived!” and they walked off. Then we cut to a more elaborate-seemingly video of cars on fire and so forth. That was wacky. Then we were told the SAnitY vs. The Usos is next.
RENEE YOUNG INTERVIEWS DANIEL BRYAN- Renee was wearing a jacket that Drake Maverick would have considered so visually abrasive as to be unwearable, (even when he was Rockstar Spud).
Bryan cut a great promo, then did some goofy comedy with Renee. I could have done without the comedy.
USOS PROMO- good promo
THE USOS vs. SAnitY (w/Killian Dain)- no rating, okay segment.
SAnitY jumped the bell on The Usos. For some reason no referee ever even came out even though the match was scheduled and announced and both teams had their official entrances. SAnitY beat up The Usos. They were crazy, but in a goofy way rather than a scary way. They did come off as a dominant force, though, so that was good.
GALLOWS & ANDERSON BACKSTAGE- they were goofballs. Apparently they’re being given another title shot for no reason, and that shot is next.
Before the commercial, we got a shot of the Bludgeon Brothers with their scary masks, but they didn’t talk or do any of the other lame sh*t they’ve been doing lately, so that was an improvement.
RENEE YOUNG INTERVIEWS SHINSUKE NAKAMURA- good
I really liked the fact that when this started off seeming like Nakamura had requested this interview just to do his “I don’t speak English anymore” shtick, they actually let Renee stand up for herself and tell him that if he just wanted this interview so he could troll her, she’s going to leave.
It turns out Nakamura wasn’t doing that, though, and when he said “What is ‘loss’” he was asking a more existential question. He denied the fact that he really lost last night, claiming not only that the referee counted too fast, but also that the referee counting in English was unfair to him. That was a great bullsh*t heel line (for those who don’t know, in pro wrestling matches in Japan, they do all of their counting in English). He then cut a promo warning Jeff Hardy not to mess with him.
Apparently “up next” means after one backstage segment, a commercial one recap of a title match from the PPV, one backstage interview, and then another commercial. If something isn’t going to be the next thing you show, don’t tell me that it’s “up next,” and that goes doubly so for if there is going to be ANOTHER commercial between now and then.
WWE SMACKDOWN TAG TEAM TITLE MATCH: The Bludgeon Brothers(c) vs. Luke Gallows & Karl Anderson- 4/10
This match started during a commercial. It was very short with Gallows and Anderson losing again, and not doing any better than they did at Money in the Bank so what was even the point of doing this?
POST-MATCH SEGMENT- weird
Daniel Bryan came out for the Gauntlet Match basically right after the match ended. He stood between the two Bludgeon Brothers and had a stare-down with them. Then his music started again and he just continued on his way down to the ring.
WWE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE #1 CONTENDERSHIP GAUNTLET MATCH: Daniel Bryan vs. Big E. vs. Samoa Joe vs. The MIz vs. Rusev (w/Aiden English)- 8.25/10
The Bryan vs. Big E. and Bryan vs. Joe portions of this were wonderful! Bryan’s matches feel so different from everyone else in the company, and that’s because he seems to be purposely trying to make them feel different. There are guys pulling out moves we haven’t seen in years like torture racks and stretch mufflers, and it’s a great mix of American psychology with Japanese-style cut-off. And the way they did the Joe finish was GENIUS. Hopefully he’s okay after being powerslammed onto his head.
After the Joe match, the Bludgeon Brothers attacked Bryan, allowing Miz to then come out and get the easy pin on him. Is Bryan going for the tag titles now? Who would he even team with?
The Miz vs. Rusev part of this was decent, and Rusev winning a got a big pop. AJ Styles came out for a stare-down after the match. Aiden English offered AJ a handshake but then snubbed him just to be a dick so AJ dropped him with one punch.
I could be talking out of my ass here, but I think Hunter might be running things on Smackdown now. Paige spoke right into the camera during her opening bit, pretty much everything else the wrestlers said felt like it was truly their own words, the Jeff Hardy promo was shot very differently, the whole card was booked before the show started, Renee was allowed to stand up for herself a bit, the Nakamura vs. Jeff storyline moved forward without rushing to a confrontation like main roster WWE almost always does to start off a feud, and there were zero mentions of pancakes or any such similar bullsh*t. This was a very enjoyable show. I hope this continues.