From the hearts of wrestling fans everywhere,
an open letter to Vince McMahon (with apologies to Dr. Seuss):






Do we like this Roman Reigns?

WE DO NOT LIKE HIM, Vince! Okay?
We do not like that Roman Reigns!

Will we cheer him on TV?

We will not cheer him on TV,
at house shows, or on PPV.
Vince, please get this through your brain:
We will not cheer for Roman Reigns!


Would we cheer him beating Brock?
Or standing next to Cousin Rock?

We would not cheer him beating Brock,
or standing next Cousin Rock.
We will not cheer him on TV,
at house shows, or on PPV.
Vince, please get this through your brain:
We will not cheer for Roman Reigns!

Would we cheer him as a tweener?
Or cutting worked-shoot promos on Cena?

Not as a Tweener.
Not shooting on Cena.
Not against Brock.
Not with The Rock.
We will not cheer him on TV,
at house shows, or on PPV.
Vince, please get this through your brain:
We will not cheer for Roman Reigns!

Would we, could we, if told by Bryan?
You’re sure! You’re sure!
That’ll prove we’re lying!

We would not, could not!
Not even for Bryan.

If he became more patriotic?
Would it validate this quest Quixotic?

We would not, could not, were he patriotic.
We don’t just like him. We aren’t robotic!
We will not cheer him as a tweener,
or doing a worked shoot with Cena.
We'll not cheer him beating Brock,
Or standing next to Cousin Rock
We will not cheer him on TV,
at house shows, or on PPV.
Vince, please get this through your brain:
We will not cheer for Roman Reigns!

As champ! As champ!
A title! A title!
Would we, could we,
if he was the champ?

Not as the champ. Nor as a patriot.
Not for even for Bryan. We aren’t robotic.
Not as a tweener, or shooting on Cena.
We will not cheer him beating Brock,
or standing next to Cousin Rock.
We will not cheer him on TV,
at house shows, or on PPV.
We will not cheer for Roman Reigns!


Banks!
As her friend?
As Sasha Banks’ friend!
Would we, could we, as Sasha Banks’ friend?

We would not, could not,
as Sasha Banks’ friend.

Would we, could we,
With Foley’s stamp?

We would not, could not, with Foley’s stamp.
Nor as Sasha’s friend, nor as champ.
Not for Bryan, nor being patriotic.
We won’t cheer him ‘cause we’re not robotic!
Not beating Brock, not as a tweener.
Not next to Rock, nor shooting on Cena.
We will not cheer him on TV,
at house shows, or on PPV.

We will not cheer for Roman Reigns.
We won’t, Vince.
Get that through your brain!

Would we, could we,
if he were more humble?

We would not, could not,
if he were more humble.

Would we, could we,
if he won the Rumble?

We would not, could not, if he were more humble,
We will not- will not!- if he wins the Rumble.
We will not cheer him with Foley’s stamp.
We will not cheer him as the champ.
Not as Sasha’s friend! Not being patriotic!
Nor because Bryan said so! We aren’t robotic!
We will not cheer him as a tweener,
or doing a worked shoot with Cena.
Well not cheer him beating Brock,
Or standing next to Cousin Rock
We will not cheer him on TV,
at house shows, or on PPV.
Vince, please get this through your brain:
We will not cheer for Roman Reigns!

Vince, please get this through your brain:
We will not cheer for Roman Reigns.

“We do not like him!” we assert.
“One chance! One chance!
You’ll convert!
One chance and you’ll convert!” you assert.

Vince! We gave him one before!
And our opinions, you ignored!

LISTEN!
We will not cheer for Roman Reigns!
We won’t! We’ve made that very plain.
We do not want to cheer for Roman.
We want to cheer for Finn and Strowman.
And Owens and Rusev and Shinsuke and Zayn,
and not for f*cking Roman Reigns!
Vince please take heed of what I’ve wrote:
Stop pushing Roman down our throats.
Please stop this Ahab-like campaign,
to make us cheer for Roman Reigns.

Love everything about this.

I'm pretty sure it ends with you trying it and seeing that you actually WILL cheer for Reigns, then turning around and changing everything you said with a positive attitude.