BRM Reviews the 3/5/2016 ROH (Top Prospect Tournament Finals)

[Big Red Machine]

DALTON CASTLE PROMO- it was a fine promo to build up the match, but between Castle’s eccentricity and the background mood music, I would not have started a wrestling show (especially a show in ROH which claims to be getting away from goofy characters) with this promo.
Also, a completely cold Christopher Daniels vs. Dalton Castle match does not feel like a main event. Hopefully they get the time to make it feel like a main event by the time the match is over.

TOP PROSPECT TOURNAMENT FINALS: Brian Fury vs. Lio Rush- 6/10
Shouldn’t THIS be the main event? And how the hell to you five the finals of your big tournament to establish your new “top prospect” (and not to mention establish a challenger for the TV Title) barely even ten minutes?!
Speaking of the TV Title, this is yet another reason why I really don’t like Ishii being the champ. It’s highly likely that their styles will not mesh well, and even if they do, the match will most likely be extremely similar to the match Rush had with Punisher Martinez in the semifinals. Either Bobby Fish or (especially) Roderick Strong would have been a much better choice. Roddy in particular has developed a reputation for getting just about the best match possible out of guys who are lower down on the card. Will Ferrara, Dalton Castle, and Silas Young have all had their best singles matches against Roddy, and he has given Takaaki Watanabe, Caprice Coleman one of their top three or four (in an interesting statistic, the other guy on the roster who seems to be able to get the best matches out of much of the other less-established talent is Michael Elgin… and yes, that is somewhat of an indictment of both Jay Lethal and Jay Briscoe’s roles as champions).

reDRagon PROMO- decent build to next week’s big seven-team gauntlet. It’d be nice if they would put something on the line in this match to make us actually care about it (never mind for there to be an actual reason why they are randomly booking a gimmick match with a whole bunch of teams). A title shot would work nicely, especially because we’ve got Supercard of Honor coming up. Hell… if you’re got Roppongi Vice in this thing, you might as well give them the win (you can have them enter last so as to protect your other teams) and use them for title defense on one of the Conquest Tour shows (4/23 in San Antonio works fine, but if possible 4/30 in West Warwick, RI would work better simply because you want a title match in what is almost a new market- ROH has run Providence a few times, but not for three years… and in one of those few trips, Rocky Romero actually won the tag titles with his previous partner Alex Koslov, so you’ve got a bit of history built in there) (assuming New Japan doesn’t need them for the Road to Dontaku shows, but let’s be honest: they don’t. At this point Roppingi Vice are just random bodies in the revolving door of title changes that is the Jr. Heavyweight Tag Team Division… and they are pretty much both the least over team and least talented workers in that division right now).
So, in conclusion… there is really no reason that there shouldn’t be a title shot on the line in this match.

MOOSE vs. KONGO- 1.5/10
Yeah… I don’t need to see Kongo or any similar gimmick ever again. Sensitivity issues aside, it’s just the sort of thing that wrestling has out-grown. The fact that Umaga managed to mostly make it work in 2006 and 2007 is downright miraculous. It should not be taken as encouragement that this sort of thing should be tried in this day and age. I don’t ever need to see another large, fat dude with paint on his face and an archaic manner of dress ever again. No Kamala. No Samoan “savages.” No Lord Tensai. No George “The Animal” Steele (who is basically the Caucasian version of this gimmick, which substitutes racism for abusing the mentally handicapped). The version of this gimmick that works in this day and age is the Bill Goldberg “silent killer” type (which War Machine are doing quite well at the moment). I don’t want to see a goofball like Kongo ever again, even as a jobber for a big guy like Moose.

The announcers tell us that Stokely is not here because he wants Moose to develop confidence in the ring without Stokely there to be by his side. Since when was this a problem for Moose?
Kongo did you standard fat guy spots while Moose did his usual “I’m a very athletic big-man” spots (including some new flippy moves). It was pretty hum-drum, aside from when Moose was trying new stuff.
The real problem, though, is that this match should have been a quick squash for Moose, and the fact that they gave it about five minutes while also making sure to give Kongo a lot of offense once again shows Delirious’ misplaced priorities when it comes to booking ROH TV. This should have gone no more than one minute with the rest of the time being given to the Top Prospect Tournament Finals. Kongo isn’t even a part of the ROH roster and as I said in my above tirade, is not someone ROH should even be using, so he does not need to be made to look good. Moose has been around long enough that at this point, his squashes are no longer exciting, so when you need to book a Moose squash it is just best to get in there, squash the guy quick and get out.
Furthermore, this particular set of tapings was already going to be a challenge due to them taping not only the usual four episodes of TV, but also an addition hour of ENTIRELY POINTLESS WOMEN OF HONOR MATCHES (not only have these matches not generated a single cent in revenue for ROH because they are all posted for free on YouTube, but even if they were to try to sell a DVD of them, the matches aren’t even given the time to be good, so who the f*ck is going to pay for them?) which hurt the crowd by just dragging things out for so long. You are running a one-hour TV show in a promotion whose whole strategy for growth and buzz has been the ability to brag about their superior workrate… and Delirious keeps giving time to completely pointless matches while taking it away from matches that should actually mean something for the company, whether it is something theoretically momentous like this week’s Top Prospect Tournament Finals or something as simple as last week’s Cole vs. Sydal main event that barely got ten minutes (and it’s not the only TV main event to suffer from this recently. Or PPV main event for that matter).

YOUNG BUCKS PROMO ABOUT THE TAG TEAM GAUNTLET- great (but with the same issues as the reDRagon promo).

CLIPS OF “P-DOG” MIKE POSEY & THE GET-ALONG GANG CALLING OUT CHEESEBURGER- OH MY F*CKING G-D THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO REASON FOR ANY OF THIS TO BE ON TV!
AT BEST this is an undercard comedy segment for a house show that you use to bring the crowd back down after an awesome match or that you put in the popcorn spot so that people don’t miss the real matches. IT IS NOT SOMETHING THAT SHOULD EVER BE ON TV! It will not help anyone because Cheeseburger is the type of guy who cannot possibly get more over than the level of “fun comedy jobber” that he has already achieved, and Posey’s white rapper gimmick is downright embarrassing (think 2003-2004 John Cena, except that instead of being a big, strong, dangerous-looking man who spouts lyrics which are clever as well as fun due to their often rude or obscene nature, Posey says is a little dweeb who says nothing interesting at all and talks, dresses, and sounds like an uncharismatic version of Jack Evans).
And as if all of that was bad enough, this clip contained Cheeseburger giving Posey’s crappy Chyna-knockoff bodyguard a shotei right in the face… so not only was this all completely stupid and pointless, but it also might well provoke the wrath of the P.C. Police because pro wrestling doesn’t have enough trouble with that sort of thing already even when they don’t do things that the P.C. Police would normally criticize.

ADAM PAGE vs CEDRIC ALEXANDER (w/Veda Scott)- no rating. Meh segment.
Not much of a pop for the newly-babyface Adam Page. Also, his CaryTron video appears to just be the spinning hands on a cartoon clock while cartoon silhouettes of savannah animals like elephants and giraffes walk by. I swear I’m not making any of this up.
Page got jumped from behind by Whitmer before the match could start. He then got beaten down by both Whitmer and Alexander until Johnathan Gresham made the save. Page then cut a promo saying Whitmer could run but couldn’t hide.

DALTON CASTLE (w/the Boys) vs. CHRISTOPHER DANIELS (w/Frankie Kazarian)- 6.25/10
Silas Young joined the commentary team for this match.
This ROH main event got just over nine minutes of TV time, but if you only count it from when they started actually wrestling instead of doing stupid Dalton Castle comedy spots, it went six and a half. We also had a completely pointless dirty finish. Dalton Castle does not need Kaz grabbing his leg or Daniels trying to use a wrench (and certainly not one of the Boys poking Daniels in the eye with his fan after taking the wrench away, because apparently Dalton has taught his Boys that two wrongs make a right). If Silas is going to cut a promo about how Castle always loses, LET HIM LOSE CLEAN to give Silas come credibility (lying doesn’t sit well with his “Last Real Man” gimmick), and there is no shame for an undercard babyface to lose clean to Christopher frekain’ Daniels.

POST-MATCH SEGMENT- Dalton’s promo wasn’t bad or anything (I’d even call it good), but this had to have been BY FAR the least intense challenge to a Fight Without Honor in ROH history.
One positive change on this show was that they did a good job of making this seem like post-PPV continuity even though it was taped beforehand. Still, it was a very frustrating show from ROH, with basically all of the problems with the TV show on full display.

[Bulletclubfan2014]

Actually the team that wins the 7 Team Gauntlet gets a tag title shot at the tapings in Las Vegas they announced it on the website
Also I had no problem with how Silas claimed Dalton always loses one thing I love about heels are that they make claims that you know are bullshit and will go against what they say is true and that ends up being a thing that you hate about them

[Big Red Machine]

Actually the team that wins the 7 Team Gauntlet gets a tag title shot at the tapings in Las Vegas they announced it on the website

Okay... but how are people who only watch the TV show supposed to know this? It would have taken the literally zero extra effort make sure the announcers said this while putting the gauntlet over, but they don't do it. This is a TNA mistake. ROH should not be making it.

Also I had no problem with how Silas claimed Dalton always loses one thing I love about heels are that they make claims that you know are bullshit and will go against what they say is true and that ends up being a thing that you hate about them

I'm with it for most heels, but I think Silas Young's "Last Real Man" character lends itself to being a bit more nuanced. You already hate Silas for trying to tell you how to live your life (and for hating on Dalton and the Boys for living theirs). He doesn't need to lie to get heat.