BRM Reviews the 9/30/2015 Impact
Posted: Oct 1st, '15, 00:50
OPENING SEGMENT- EC III says he is unhappy that everyone is taking about Drew Galloway. He calls out Dixie, who yells at him for not fighting for TNA against GFW. Ethan points out that he warned her not to trust Jeff Jarrett in the first place. Ethan also says that Drew can’t beat him.
Then… someone’s music plays. Apparently it’s Drew’s. The fact that I-who has seen every single episode of the show for the past six years (actually I think I missed one in the fall of 2011)- can’t even recognize the top babyface’s music is not a good thing for TNA. Drew and Ethan cut promos on each other. It was fine.
JAMES STORM PROMO- good
ETHAN CARTER TALKS TO DIXIE BACKSTAGE- is this feud supposed to be Ethan vs. Dixie? No? THEN WHY ARE WE WASTING TIME WITH THIS BULLSH*T?!
MAHABALI SHERA & THE REVOLUTION VIDEO PACKAGE- good
NO DISQUALIFICATIONS MATCH: James Storm vs. Mahabali Shera- 4/10
Storm is about to cut Shera with a broken beer bottle, but Abyss and Manik come out to make the save and help Shera win. So basically Shera got his butt kicked for most of the match and needed outside help to win. Well… that just killed all of my interest in this new star.
DIXIE PROMO ON ETHAN- she announces that if Ethan and Tyrus lose in the main event tonight, then Matt Hardy will be added to the main event for Bound For Glory. WHY? He’s lost to Ethan at least twice this summer, and I don’t remember anything screwy about those matches, either. But no. Matt is getting this opportunity not because he has earned it like a good babyface, but because Dixie likes him and tells us he has done many abstract good things for TNA.
She also says she has another “surprise” for Ethan regarding the main event of Bound For Glory, which we will find out later.
BOBBY ROODE & BOBBY LASHLEY SEGMENT- decent- if random- build to Lashley getting a shot at the King of the Mountain Title at BFG.
TARYN PROMO- good.
TREVOR LEE vs. TOMMASO CIAMPA vs. DJ ZEMA ION- 5.5/10
They made the absolute best of the time they had. I was completely amazed that Zema got pinned instead of Ciampa.
BEATIFUL PEOPLE PROMO- Madison talked about the Dollhouse name. She wondered if they really lived in a little Dollhouse. Then she talked about how the name wasn’t funny or cool, which I found to be deliciously ironic because by doing so, Madison was attempting to come off as funny and cool, and utterly failing.
Angelina was MUCH better. Velvet was okay.
BROOKE TESSMACHER VIDEO PACKAGE- not bad… but just completely pointless. The go-home show for Bound For Glory was not the time for this. This was the place for a Gail vs. Kong video package.
ETHAN CARTER III PROMO- eh.
HANDICAP MATCH: The Dollhouse vs. The Beautiful People (w/Angelina Love)- 4.25/10
ERIC YOUNG PROMO- he is a nut. He says he is not afraid of anyone, be that person “man, woman, or child.”
GAIL KIM PROMO- okay
ERIC YOUNG FIGHTS PEOPLE- Eric rants and raves. Then he is interrupted by Robbie E. Robbie wants to fight him and takes it to EY for a while before eating a low blow and getting beaten up. Then Chris Melendez shows up to fight EY. EY beats him up and goes for a chair, but Melendez gets a hold of the chair and EY bails.
Then Ken Anderson shows up to stop EY from escaping. He spoke for less than a minute, but managed to be so annoying that I hope I never have to see him again in my life. Then the babyfaces beat Eric Young up three-on-one.
MATT HARDY & DREW GALLOWAY HAVE A SIT-DOWN MEETING IN A RANDOM ROOM- okay
EY TALKS TO DIXIE- she tells him that he will face Kurt Angle at Bound For Glory. Eric screams and raves about how Kurt Angle is “never coming back.” This crazy Eric Young screaming in his crazy-man voice bullsh*t is SOOOO annoying and comes off as so fake.
BFG CARD RUNDOWN- they announce that Tigre Uno will defend the X-Division Title in an Ultimate X match. They don’t even tell us who he will be defending the belt against. Maybe instead of wasting time with dumb sh*t like Eric Young taking Chris Melendez’s leg, they should have spent some time building up a challenger for the X-Division Title and trying to make the match actually matter?
IF MATT & DREW WIN, MATT GETS ADDED TO THE MAIN EVENT OF BOUND FOR GLORY: Matt Hardy & Drew Galloway vs. Ethan Carter III & Tyrus- 5.25/10
Matt Hardy will now be in the main event. Fine. It’s in North Carolina. But if Matt is going to get this title shot, AT LEAST LET HIM GET THE F*CKING PIN TO EARN HIS WAY IN!
DIXIE MAKES HER BIG ANNOUNCEMENT- Jeff Hardy will be the special guest referee for the main event. Why is Dixie doing this? She claims it is to make things “fair.” How the f*ck is it “fair” that Jeff Hardy- who probably has a grudge against one competitor and is predisposed to favor another competitor- be the referee for this match? How is it fair to any of the competitors that someone who isn’t an official referee be the one to referee their big title match?
Last year I went on a long rant in one of my Impact reviews (here is the link: http://54.88.31.224/thewrestlingrevolut ... =9&t=14444) about a similar situation that TNA booked with Kurt Angle being the guest referee in the Roode vs. Lashley title match. In my rant I commented on the fact that TNA’s MO seems to be to focus on overbooking and outside factors instead of focusing on telling a simple story supported with good wrestling (the build to this title match has been just as much about Ethan vs. Dixie and Ethan vs. Jeff as it has been about Ethan vs. Drew and Ethan vs. Matt). It is now eleven months later: They are about to get booted off of YET ANOTHER network… AND THESE DUMB F*CKS STILL HAVEN’T LEARNED THEIR G-D DAMNED LESSON!
Mostly an enjoyable Impact, though not a particularly good one in the ring or on the mic, but it did do a decent job as a go-home show for Bound For Glory.
Then… someone’s music plays. Apparently it’s Drew’s. The fact that I-who has seen every single episode of the show for the past six years (actually I think I missed one in the fall of 2011)- can’t even recognize the top babyface’s music is not a good thing for TNA. Drew and Ethan cut promos on each other. It was fine.
JAMES STORM PROMO- good
ETHAN CARTER TALKS TO DIXIE BACKSTAGE- is this feud supposed to be Ethan vs. Dixie? No? THEN WHY ARE WE WASTING TIME WITH THIS BULLSH*T?!
MAHABALI SHERA & THE REVOLUTION VIDEO PACKAGE- good
NO DISQUALIFICATIONS MATCH: James Storm vs. Mahabali Shera- 4/10
Storm is about to cut Shera with a broken beer bottle, but Abyss and Manik come out to make the save and help Shera win. So basically Shera got his butt kicked for most of the match and needed outside help to win. Well… that just killed all of my interest in this new star.
DIXIE PROMO ON ETHAN- she announces that if Ethan and Tyrus lose in the main event tonight, then Matt Hardy will be added to the main event for Bound For Glory. WHY? He’s lost to Ethan at least twice this summer, and I don’t remember anything screwy about those matches, either. But no. Matt is getting this opportunity not because he has earned it like a good babyface, but because Dixie likes him and tells us he has done many abstract good things for TNA.
She also says she has another “surprise” for Ethan regarding the main event of Bound For Glory, which we will find out later.
BOBBY ROODE & BOBBY LASHLEY SEGMENT- decent- if random- build to Lashley getting a shot at the King of the Mountain Title at BFG.
TARYN PROMO- good.
TREVOR LEE vs. TOMMASO CIAMPA vs. DJ ZEMA ION- 5.5/10
They made the absolute best of the time they had. I was completely amazed that Zema got pinned instead of Ciampa.
BEATIFUL PEOPLE PROMO- Madison talked about the Dollhouse name. She wondered if they really lived in a little Dollhouse. Then she talked about how the name wasn’t funny or cool, which I found to be deliciously ironic because by doing so, Madison was attempting to come off as funny and cool, and utterly failing.
Angelina was MUCH better. Velvet was okay.
BROOKE TESSMACHER VIDEO PACKAGE- not bad… but just completely pointless. The go-home show for Bound For Glory was not the time for this. This was the place for a Gail vs. Kong video package.
ETHAN CARTER III PROMO- eh.
HANDICAP MATCH: The Dollhouse vs. The Beautiful People (w/Angelina Love)- 4.25/10
ERIC YOUNG PROMO- he is a nut. He says he is not afraid of anyone, be that person “man, woman, or child.”
GAIL KIM PROMO- okay
ERIC YOUNG FIGHTS PEOPLE- Eric rants and raves. Then he is interrupted by Robbie E. Robbie wants to fight him and takes it to EY for a while before eating a low blow and getting beaten up. Then Chris Melendez shows up to fight EY. EY beats him up and goes for a chair, but Melendez gets a hold of the chair and EY bails.
Then Ken Anderson shows up to stop EY from escaping. He spoke for less than a minute, but managed to be so annoying that I hope I never have to see him again in my life. Then the babyfaces beat Eric Young up three-on-one.
MATT HARDY & DREW GALLOWAY HAVE A SIT-DOWN MEETING IN A RANDOM ROOM- okay
EY TALKS TO DIXIE- she tells him that he will face Kurt Angle at Bound For Glory. Eric screams and raves about how Kurt Angle is “never coming back.” This crazy Eric Young screaming in his crazy-man voice bullsh*t is SOOOO annoying and comes off as so fake.
BFG CARD RUNDOWN- they announce that Tigre Uno will defend the X-Division Title in an Ultimate X match. They don’t even tell us who he will be defending the belt against. Maybe instead of wasting time with dumb sh*t like Eric Young taking Chris Melendez’s leg, they should have spent some time building up a challenger for the X-Division Title and trying to make the match actually matter?
IF MATT & DREW WIN, MATT GETS ADDED TO THE MAIN EVENT OF BOUND FOR GLORY: Matt Hardy & Drew Galloway vs. Ethan Carter III & Tyrus- 5.25/10
Matt Hardy will now be in the main event. Fine. It’s in North Carolina. But if Matt is going to get this title shot, AT LEAST LET HIM GET THE F*CKING PIN TO EARN HIS WAY IN!
DIXIE MAKES HER BIG ANNOUNCEMENT- Jeff Hardy will be the special guest referee for the main event. Why is Dixie doing this? She claims it is to make things “fair.” How the f*ck is it “fair” that Jeff Hardy- who probably has a grudge against one competitor and is predisposed to favor another competitor- be the referee for this match? How is it fair to any of the competitors that someone who isn’t an official referee be the one to referee their big title match?
Last year I went on a long rant in one of my Impact reviews (here is the link: http://54.88.31.224/thewrestlingrevolut ... =9&t=14444) about a similar situation that TNA booked with Kurt Angle being the guest referee in the Roode vs. Lashley title match. In my rant I commented on the fact that TNA’s MO seems to be to focus on overbooking and outside factors instead of focusing on telling a simple story supported with good wrestling (the build to this title match has been just as much about Ethan vs. Dixie and Ethan vs. Jeff as it has been about Ethan vs. Drew and Ethan vs. Matt). It is now eleven months later: They are about to get booted off of YET ANOTHER network… AND THESE DUMB F*CKS STILL HAVEN’T LEARNED THEIR G-D DAMNED LESSON!
Mostly an enjoyable Impact, though not a particularly good one in the ring or on the mic, but it did do a decent job as a go-home show for Bound For Glory.