BRM Reviews the 8/3/2015 Raw
Posted: Aug 3rd, '15, 23:25
SETH ROLLINS PROMO- he bragged about breaking Cena’s nose then blatantly stole Jay Lethal’s idea to be both the world and secondary champion at the same time and challenged Cena to a title vs. title match at Summer Slam. Then he steals Cena’s idea and does an open challenge for his title right here, right after this commercial.
Or not quite. When we get back from the commercial it turns out that his opponent must be under 6’ and under 200lbs… which apparently leaves only El Torito (I was hoping it’d be Jamie Noble)… or, apparently, Neville. That sounds much better.
WWE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH: Seth Rollins(c) vs. Adrian Neville- 7.25/10
Well… those were some f*cking close nearfalls, weren’t they?
THE ASCENSION & THE NEW DAY (w/Xavier Woods) vs. LUCHA DRAGONS & LOS MATADORES (w/El Torito)- 4/10
As things weren’t crowded enough already, we got PTP on commentary. So basically it’s all a bunch of match-ups we’ve seen a zillion times before in meaningless matches because G-d forbid they actually put some effort into coming up with an angle for this division to actually make people give a sh*t about the titles.
THE BELLA TWINS (w/Alicia Fox) vs. BECKY LYNCH & CHARLOTTE (w/Paige)- 6.25/10
So instead of random singles matches for no reason, we’re now getting random tag matches for no reason. I guess the “revolution” of the Divas Revolution is that they are turning it into the tag team division.
Both teams cut awful pre-match inset promos. The babyface Divas were particularly bad because it was quite clear that these were not words that any of them would say. They then gave themselves the awful name of the “Submission Sorority.”
They showed us Team B.A.D. watching backstage because part of their contract with USA stipulates that they must show us the non-used trio of women watching the match from backstage.
Charlotte makes Nikki tap, which should set up a one-on-one title match for Summer Slam, but of course WWE will shoe-horn in someone from Team B.A.D., too.
JOJO INTERVIEWS TEAM B.A.D.- eh.
JoJo says that the babyface girls “have just taken control of the Divas Division.” How? By winning a tag team match? That’s a f*cking dumb thing to say.
Naomi challenges Paige to a match, and also claims to be better than Ronda Rousey. I highly doubt that’s actually going to go anywhere.
MIZ TV WITH OWENS & CESARO- very good.
Miz first cuts a promo on Ryback, then brings out Owens and they had a short but awesome heel Mutual Admiration Society segment. Owens thinks Cesaro is jealous of him. This brought Cesaro out and they had words and it was good. They things got a little physical and it was even better.
MARK HENRY vs. RUSEV (w/Summer Rae)- DUD!
MARK HENRY got squashed. This should NEVER happen!
BULLSH*T FROM SWERVED- well… that was a waste of time. Also, it made heels seems funny and likeable. FAIL!
BRAY WYATT PROMO- Sheamus showed up on their set. That was weird.
ZACK RYDER vs. WADE BARRETT- 1.25/10
Remember when these guys used to be over? Well now they are having random wastes of time on Raw. Sometimes I really hate this company.
PAUL HEYMAN PROMO- F*CKING AWESOME! (but this really felt like a waste of a Brock Lesnar appearance).
PAIGE (w/Becky Lynch & Charlotte) vs. NAOMI (w/Team B.A.D.)- 6/10
And of course there is Team Bella watching from backstage.
STARDUST PROMO- he mimed shooting an arrow and also cut a terrible promo. The guy who plays Arrow will be on Raw next week. Oh goody.
REIGNS, AMBROSE, & ORTON PROMO- Dean and Roman were good. Orton was blah. “Leave Sheamus to me.” What’s the matter, Randy? Couldn’t think of anything useful to say?
BRAY WYATT, LUKE HARPER, & SHEAMUS vs. RANDY ORTON, ROMAN REIGNS, & DEAN AMBROSE- 7/10
Michael Cole started this show off by announcing that we are three weeks away from Summer Slam… but it really doesn’t feel like anything has happened since the night after Battleground. Sheamus and Orton are still feuding like they have been for months. The tag division is the same clusterf*ck it has been for a while, the women’s division is this new form of clusterf*ck, Wade Barrett is still the worst King of the Ring ever, and Bray is still feuding with Roman. Okay, they added new dudes to that match, but so what. Yeah, Taker is feuding with Brock and Rollins and Cena are doing title vs. title, but all that really feels like to me is that Rollins and Owens have both moved down a step. I’m not saying that they’re not moving towards Summer Slam. We can clearly see what most of the card will look like. It just doesn’t excite me in any way.
That being said, this show was fairly solid in the ring, had a great Heyman promo and did kind of move things along in Owens vs. Cesaro, so I guess I’d have to call it a pretty good show.
STUPID ANNOUNCER QUOTES:
1. Michael Cole- “Stardust likes to say Neville is a superhero... a comic book hero… and in many ways, he is!”
Really, Cole? Name one.
Or not quite. When we get back from the commercial it turns out that his opponent must be under 6’ and under 200lbs… which apparently leaves only El Torito (I was hoping it’d be Jamie Noble)… or, apparently, Neville. That sounds much better.
WWE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH: Seth Rollins(c) vs. Adrian Neville- 7.25/10
Well… those were some f*cking close nearfalls, weren’t they?
THE ASCENSION & THE NEW DAY (w/Xavier Woods) vs. LUCHA DRAGONS & LOS MATADORES (w/El Torito)- 4/10
As things weren’t crowded enough already, we got PTP on commentary. So basically it’s all a bunch of match-ups we’ve seen a zillion times before in meaningless matches because G-d forbid they actually put some effort into coming up with an angle for this division to actually make people give a sh*t about the titles.
THE BELLA TWINS (w/Alicia Fox) vs. BECKY LYNCH & CHARLOTTE (w/Paige)- 6.25/10
So instead of random singles matches for no reason, we’re now getting random tag matches for no reason. I guess the “revolution” of the Divas Revolution is that they are turning it into the tag team division.
Both teams cut awful pre-match inset promos. The babyface Divas were particularly bad because it was quite clear that these were not words that any of them would say. They then gave themselves the awful name of the “Submission Sorority.”
They showed us Team B.A.D. watching backstage because part of their contract with USA stipulates that they must show us the non-used trio of women watching the match from backstage.
Charlotte makes Nikki tap, which should set up a one-on-one title match for Summer Slam, but of course WWE will shoe-horn in someone from Team B.A.D., too.
JOJO INTERVIEWS TEAM B.A.D.- eh.
JoJo says that the babyface girls “have just taken control of the Divas Division.” How? By winning a tag team match? That’s a f*cking dumb thing to say.
Naomi challenges Paige to a match, and also claims to be better than Ronda Rousey. I highly doubt that’s actually going to go anywhere.
MIZ TV WITH OWENS & CESARO- very good.
Miz first cuts a promo on Ryback, then brings out Owens and they had a short but awesome heel Mutual Admiration Society segment. Owens thinks Cesaro is jealous of him. This brought Cesaro out and they had words and it was good. They things got a little physical and it was even better.
MARK HENRY vs. RUSEV (w/Summer Rae)- DUD!
MARK HENRY got squashed. This should NEVER happen!
BULLSH*T FROM SWERVED- well… that was a waste of time. Also, it made heels seems funny and likeable. FAIL!
BRAY WYATT PROMO- Sheamus showed up on their set. That was weird.
ZACK RYDER vs. WADE BARRETT- 1.25/10
Remember when these guys used to be over? Well now they are having random wastes of time on Raw. Sometimes I really hate this company.
PAUL HEYMAN PROMO- F*CKING AWESOME! (but this really felt like a waste of a Brock Lesnar appearance).
PAIGE (w/Becky Lynch & Charlotte) vs. NAOMI (w/Team B.A.D.)- 6/10
And of course there is Team Bella watching from backstage.
STARDUST PROMO- he mimed shooting an arrow and also cut a terrible promo. The guy who plays Arrow will be on Raw next week. Oh goody.
REIGNS, AMBROSE, & ORTON PROMO- Dean and Roman were good. Orton was blah. “Leave Sheamus to me.” What’s the matter, Randy? Couldn’t think of anything useful to say?
BRAY WYATT, LUKE HARPER, & SHEAMUS vs. RANDY ORTON, ROMAN REIGNS, & DEAN AMBROSE- 7/10
Michael Cole started this show off by announcing that we are three weeks away from Summer Slam… but it really doesn’t feel like anything has happened since the night after Battleground. Sheamus and Orton are still feuding like they have been for months. The tag division is the same clusterf*ck it has been for a while, the women’s division is this new form of clusterf*ck, Wade Barrett is still the worst King of the Ring ever, and Bray is still feuding with Roman. Okay, they added new dudes to that match, but so what. Yeah, Taker is feuding with Brock and Rollins and Cena are doing title vs. title, but all that really feels like to me is that Rollins and Owens have both moved down a step. I’m not saying that they’re not moving towards Summer Slam. We can clearly see what most of the card will look like. It just doesn’t excite me in any way.
That being said, this show was fairly solid in the ring, had a great Heyman promo and did kind of move things along in Owens vs. Cesaro, so I guess I’d have to call it a pretty good show.
STUPID ANNOUNCER QUOTES:
1. Michael Cole- “Stardust likes to say Neville is a superhero... a comic book hero… and in many ways, he is!”
Really, Cole? Name one.
