BRM Reviews the 6/17/2015 TNA (bad)
Posted: Jun 17th, '15, 23:28
CONTRACT SIGNING FOR THE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT TITLE MATCH-
Didn’t I just watch one of these?
Mike Tenay sighting.
No table? Wow. Those TNA budget cuts must be worse than I thought.
I hated Ethan’s promo. It just came off like a speech. It would have been so much better if he had actually NAMED all of these legends rather than spouting off nicknames. When he said “Ayatolahs” I found myself wondering when Kurt had wrestled the Iron Sheik until it hit me that he meant Jericho. Kurt’s promo also wasn’t very good.
WOLVES & BOBBY ROODE SEGMENT- Davey was great. Eddie was fine. Roode said Aries wasn’t here so they couldn’t have the next match in their series tonight. Eddie wanted to fight Roode, so Roode said “how about the winner gets to pick the stip for the next match” and the Wolves agreed.
WINNER GETS TO PICK THE STIP FOR THE NEXT MATCH IN THE TAG TITLE SERIES: Bobby Roode vs. Eddie Edwards (w/Davey Richards)- 6.5/10
Huh. Didn’t see the Wolves win coming. I’m not sure what the point of The Wolves winning here was, though. It makes the Dirty Heels’ cheating seem kind of impotent. Either way, the next match will be Full Metal Mayhem.
LASHLEY VIDEO PACKAGE- didn’t like it. I think it was the words “devastating finishing move” that took me out of it.
JOSEPH PARK SHOWS UP- WHY? Why would you ever use this character again? It just opens up SOOOO many questions. For starters: “Why is Abyss being Joseph again?” What happened to make him make this drastic shift? Hasn’t be been hanging out with James Storm recently? What does James think of all of this?
Good wrestling companies try to avoid doing things that would open up a can of worms. TNA sees the can of worms on its shelf and says “YUMMY!”
BRAM PUNCHES A CAMERA FOR NO REASON- okay…
BRAM vs. JOSEPH PARK- DUD!
In fact, neither JB nor the announcers seem to remember that Joseph Park is Abyss. How do they not remember this? He even has Abyss’ scraggly beard! IT’S BARELY BEEN A YEAR SINCE HE WENT BACK TO BEING ABYSS! HOW THE F*CK ARE THESE PEOPLE THIS F*CKING STUPID?!
So the referee tells Joseph he can’t use a chair and yells at Bram for getting weapons, but doesn’t call a DQ when Joseph hits Bram in the nuts, or when he hits Bram with a Kendo Stick. Apparently Josh was having the same thoughts that I was, so he claimed that “Bram has requested that all of his matches where he calls out past members of the Impact roster are competed under no disqualifications rules.” Okay… then why didn’t you mention that at the beginning of the match? And why did Hebner try to stop him from using the chair earlier?
TARYN TERRELL PROMO- they shot this from a very weird angle presumably just to bother me.
Taryn proposes the following…
IF BROOKE AND KONG WIN, THEY BOTH GET TITLE SHOTS, BUT IF THEY LOSE, THEY CAN’T GET ANY TITLES SHOTS WHILE TARYN IS CHAMP: Brooke Tessmacher & Awesome Kong vs. The Dollhouse (w/Taryn Terrell)- 4.5/10
I MUST have more of Taryn excitedly bouncing up and down!
On commentary, Josh tells us that as of midnight, Taryn will break Gail’s record for longest title reign. WHAT THE HELL, TNA?! HOW THE F*CK DID YOU NOT BOOK GAIL VS. TARYN FOR THE TITLE FOR TONIGHT?!
“PLAYTIME IS OVER” VIDEO- I assume this was from Gail. If that’s the case, it is a lot worse than just letting her cut a fiery babyface promo. If it’s not from Gail, it’s just weird.
CHRIS MELENDEZ PROMO- he claims that by ripping his prosthetic leg of Eric Young disrespected not only Melendez himself, but also the United States, the US Army, and our grand ol’ flag. Sorry, but I’m calling bullsh*t on this. He didn’t do any of those other things. He just didn’t. Chris Melendez served in the military and his lost his leg defending our country, and I thank him for his service will all of my heart… but this does not make him some sort of avatar of our military or of our country, and the quicker TNA gets that out of their heads and actually tries to come up with stories for Chris Melendez the person rather than “The One-Legged Solider (who happens to be named Chris Melendez)” the quicker this character will become bearable.
Then Eric Young came out and cut a bad promo right in front of Melendez’s face, while Melendez, who wanted to kick EY’s ass… just stands there and takes it. Oh. Well. Melendez has apparently decided to wait until next week to get his revenge because… um…
JESSE GODDERZ vs. DJ ZEMA ION- no rating, good squash.
JESSE GODDERZ PROMO- awesome! So awesome, in fact, that it made me think that letting Robbie E. get his heat back was a big mistake unless they are doing something either next week or on the PPV.
SLAMMIVERSARY COMMERCIAL- I believe this is the first on they’ve aired, just a week and a half before the PPV. They’re advertising Jeff Hardy for the PPV! Great to have Jeff back so soon after his injury.
MAGNUS CALLS OUT JAMES STORM- started out awesome, then went downhill
Magnus was FANTASTIC here.
Is Magnus really being held back by three security guys at a wrestling show? Really?
Apparently Lashley is ranked #3. Don’t worry. That fact will never be important again.
BOBBY LASHLEY vs. ETHAN CARTER III (w/Tyrus)- 5/10
Can we please get a clean finish instead of ninety-three ref bumps? I’ll bet Tyrus doesn’t get in any trouble at all for assaulting all of those referees and that they never go back to rematch between these two as a result of this dirty finish.
Another bad TNA show, aside from the Magnus stuff and the Jesse Godderz stuff. We didn’t even get any mention of next week’s match to crown a new X-Division Champion, much less some sort of hype for it.
Didn’t I just watch one of these?
Mike Tenay sighting.
No table? Wow. Those TNA budget cuts must be worse than I thought.
I hated Ethan’s promo. It just came off like a speech. It would have been so much better if he had actually NAMED all of these legends rather than spouting off nicknames. When he said “Ayatolahs” I found myself wondering when Kurt had wrestled the Iron Sheik until it hit me that he meant Jericho. Kurt’s promo also wasn’t very good.
WOLVES & BOBBY ROODE SEGMENT- Davey was great. Eddie was fine. Roode said Aries wasn’t here so they couldn’t have the next match in their series tonight. Eddie wanted to fight Roode, so Roode said “how about the winner gets to pick the stip for the next match” and the Wolves agreed.
WINNER GETS TO PICK THE STIP FOR THE NEXT MATCH IN THE TAG TITLE SERIES: Bobby Roode vs. Eddie Edwards (w/Davey Richards)- 6.5/10
Huh. Didn’t see the Wolves win coming. I’m not sure what the point of The Wolves winning here was, though. It makes the Dirty Heels’ cheating seem kind of impotent. Either way, the next match will be Full Metal Mayhem.
LASHLEY VIDEO PACKAGE- didn’t like it. I think it was the words “devastating finishing move” that took me out of it.
JOSEPH PARK SHOWS UP- WHY? Why would you ever use this character again? It just opens up SOOOO many questions. For starters: “Why is Abyss being Joseph again?” What happened to make him make this drastic shift? Hasn’t be been hanging out with James Storm recently? What does James think of all of this?
Good wrestling companies try to avoid doing things that would open up a can of worms. TNA sees the can of worms on its shelf and says “YUMMY!”
BRAM PUNCHES A CAMERA FOR NO REASON- okay…
BRAM vs. JOSEPH PARK- DUD!
In fact, neither JB nor the announcers seem to remember that Joseph Park is Abyss. How do they not remember this? He even has Abyss’ scraggly beard! IT’S BARELY BEEN A YEAR SINCE HE WENT BACK TO BEING ABYSS! HOW THE F*CK ARE THESE PEOPLE THIS F*CKING STUPID?!
So the referee tells Joseph he can’t use a chair and yells at Bram for getting weapons, but doesn’t call a DQ when Joseph hits Bram in the nuts, or when he hits Bram with a Kendo Stick. Apparently Josh was having the same thoughts that I was, so he claimed that “Bram has requested that all of his matches where he calls out past members of the Impact roster are competed under no disqualifications rules.” Okay… then why didn’t you mention that at the beginning of the match? And why did Hebner try to stop him from using the chair earlier?
TARYN TERRELL PROMO- they shot this from a very weird angle presumably just to bother me.
Taryn proposes the following…
IF BROOKE AND KONG WIN, THEY BOTH GET TITLE SHOTS, BUT IF THEY LOSE, THEY CAN’T GET ANY TITLES SHOTS WHILE TARYN IS CHAMP: Brooke Tessmacher & Awesome Kong vs. The Dollhouse (w/Taryn Terrell)- 4.5/10
I MUST have more of Taryn excitedly bouncing up and down!
On commentary, Josh tells us that as of midnight, Taryn will break Gail’s record for longest title reign. WHAT THE HELL, TNA?! HOW THE F*CK DID YOU NOT BOOK GAIL VS. TARYN FOR THE TITLE FOR TONIGHT?!
“PLAYTIME IS OVER” VIDEO- I assume this was from Gail. If that’s the case, it is a lot worse than just letting her cut a fiery babyface promo. If it’s not from Gail, it’s just weird.
CHRIS MELENDEZ PROMO- he claims that by ripping his prosthetic leg of Eric Young disrespected not only Melendez himself, but also the United States, the US Army, and our grand ol’ flag. Sorry, but I’m calling bullsh*t on this. He didn’t do any of those other things. He just didn’t. Chris Melendez served in the military and his lost his leg defending our country, and I thank him for his service will all of my heart… but this does not make him some sort of avatar of our military or of our country, and the quicker TNA gets that out of their heads and actually tries to come up with stories for Chris Melendez the person rather than “The One-Legged Solider (who happens to be named Chris Melendez)” the quicker this character will become bearable.
Then Eric Young came out and cut a bad promo right in front of Melendez’s face, while Melendez, who wanted to kick EY’s ass… just stands there and takes it. Oh. Well. Melendez has apparently decided to wait until next week to get his revenge because… um…
JESSE GODDERZ vs. DJ ZEMA ION- no rating, good squash.
JESSE GODDERZ PROMO- awesome! So awesome, in fact, that it made me think that letting Robbie E. get his heat back was a big mistake unless they are doing something either next week or on the PPV.
SLAMMIVERSARY COMMERCIAL- I believe this is the first on they’ve aired, just a week and a half before the PPV. They’re advertising Jeff Hardy for the PPV! Great to have Jeff back so soon after his injury.
MAGNUS CALLS OUT JAMES STORM- started out awesome, then went downhill
Magnus was FANTASTIC here.
Is Magnus really being held back by three security guys at a wrestling show? Really?
Apparently Lashley is ranked #3. Don’t worry. That fact will never be important again.
BOBBY LASHLEY vs. ETHAN CARTER III (w/Tyrus)- 5/10
Can we please get a clean finish instead of ninety-three ref bumps? I’ll bet Tyrus doesn’t get in any trouble at all for assaulting all of those referees and that they never go back to rematch between these two as a result of this dirty finish.
Another bad TNA show, aside from the Magnus stuff and the Jesse Godderz stuff. We didn’t even get any mention of next week’s match to crown a new X-Division Champion, much less some sort of hype for it.