BRM Reviews the 10/20/2014 Raw (bad go-home show)
Posted: Oct 21st, '14, 11:58
OPENING SEGMENT-
Hunter's promo was okay. He announced that the main event would be Kane, Orton, & Rollins vs. Cena & Ambrose in a Street Fight. I'm pretty sure that his promo also contained a factual error re most HIAC wins. He is tied with Taker. He also announces that the winner of Cena vs. Orton will get a WWE World Heavyweight Title shot. WHY?! Cena LOST to Ambrose! Orton, on the other hand, has won a whole crap-ton of matches. He definitely deserves a title shot. Cena... not so much.
SHEAMUS & THE USOS, GOLDUST, STARDUST, & DAMIEN MIZ-DOW (w/The Miz)- 5.75/10
I cannot wait for Hell in a Cell. Not because I'm excited for any of the matches (aside from Rollins vs. Ambrose and Ziggler vs. Cesaro). It will just mean that things will FINALLY MOVE FORWARD on the undercard.
Miz was supposed to be in this match, but he made Miz-Dow wrestle it for him instead. I guess everyone is cool with this.
Miz-Dow wound up pinning Sheamus completely cleanly (with a roll-up, but still a totally clean win), which will hopefully set up Miz losing clean at Hell in a Cell and then Miz-Dow wanting a title shot, leading to tension between the two and a break-up. Maybe have Miz-Dow beat Sheamus at Survivor Series,then have Miz start carrying his own US Title belt around and claiming to be the champion, then have them do a ladder match at at TLC
ORTON & HUNTER BACKSTAGE- It turns out that the Orton vs. Cena Title shot stip was Rollins idea. Okay...
WYATTS VIDEO PACKAGE- can we move forward, please?
AJ LEE vs. ALICIA FOX (w/Paige)- 1.25/10
They announce AJ vs. Paige for the Divas Title at Hell in a Cell, for what seems like the 14,000th time. Alicia and Paige have a fake fight, allowing Alicia to roll the champion up. This is at least the third time Fox has pinned AJ, and there has been no talk whatsoever about getting her a title shot.
ORTON & ROLLINS BACKSTAGE- Rollins has done something nice for Orton, so Orton is a dick to him. Which is actually totally in character for Orton, so that was good.
RANDY ORTON PROMO- awesome. Then John Cena came it and wasn't so good. He said that the last time Orton was "relevant" was 2002. That is just... SO ridiculous it's not even funny. Then Paul Heyman came out and was good. He talked about Cena and Orton wanting "his beast." There's a dick joke in there somewhere.
Cena grabbed Heyman and went to give him the AA, but then decided not to. Orton then hit Cena with an RKO. Heyman laughed. Then Orton hit Heyman with an RKO.
BIG E. LANGSTON vs. RUSEV (w/Lana)- 5/10
POST-MATCH STUFF- Lana was hilarious, but seemed to lose her accent. Rusev said he would rip Big Show's heart out and eat it, furthering my theory that he is a Dothraki. They called for the Russian flag, but ti turns out that Big Show conspired with the ring crew to set up an American flag in its place. Rusev went to do something to a flag, but a brave US soldier tried to stop him. Security tried to stop the soldier, resulting in the soldier eating a superkick. BOO! I hope Big Show gets that darn Russian!
This would have been good, but then Big Show came out and cut a promo about how Rusev had "disrespected" this American soldier. How, exactly? He kicked a trained warrior in the face. What's so terrible about that?
Anyway, Big Show vowed revenge. He then vowed to beat Rusev up tonight. If you were already into this angle, this wasn't bad, but if you weren't, it was the same thing all over again.
Props to Michael Cole for pointing out that under no circumstances should any fan ever jump the barricade and rush the ring.
AMBROSE & CENA BACKSTAGE- Ambrose is watching See No Evil 2. That was hilarious. Both guys were good.
SUMMER RAE vs. BRIE BELLA- 2/10
Props to Cole for explaining why the loser of the Bella vs. Bella match at Hell in a Cell can't simply refuse to do what they are told.
DEAN AMBROSE PROMO- was awesome until he pulled out the screwdriver and shoved it in the Rollins-puppet's mouth. That looked horribly lame.
WHOA! That got non-PG in a hurry! And also stayed lame.
Then Rollins, Mercury, & Noble came out, and Rollins cut an AWESOME promo.
MICK FOLEY!
Once Foley showed up, stuff got awesome, but I just couldn't buy the idea that Ambrose could be near Rollins for that long and not jump him.
DOLPH ZIGGLER vs. CESARO- 6.5/10
Great for the time they were given, and hopefully a preview of the awesomeness to come at Hell in a Cell. After getting the clean win, Cesaro reminds us that he is a heel by hitting Dolph with the Neutralizer after the match.
THE AUTHORITY ARGUE BACKSTAGE- Hunter puts Kane in charge of the team for the match.
HELL IN A CELL VIDEO PACKAGE- great.
WYATTS VIDEO PACKAGE- same comment as before.
HANDICAP STREET FIGHT: John Cena & Dean Ambrose vs. The Authority (Randy Orton, Seth Rollins, & Kane)- 6.5/10
I know this happens a lot of other times, and I can't tell you why this bothered me here more than other places, but COME ON! It's a f*cking STREET FIGHT! Why are they just standing there on the apron obeying the barely-existent rules when there are no consequences for breaking them?
In fact, this whole match shouldn't even be happening! We got good segments to build up both HIAC matches already. Why are we giving this stuff away for free six days before? Not only is Ambrose getting his hands on Rollins, but Cena is, too, killing off that potential feud. Why not have the Authority do what they have done in the past and put the babyfaces against about six heels. Have the babyfaces be about to fight back, but then have the important heels (Orton & Rollins) come out and attack the babyfaces to build up more heat for the PPV?
Anyway, they do stuff, and then Kane calls for the cell to be lowered to trap Cena in with all three heels, but Ambrose makes it under at the last second. A few seconds later, he gets the hot tag and runs wild. They give away a bunch of cool cage spots (I assume the logic here is to let people see how cool HIAC is so they will buy the PPV, but I think the video packages have done a good enough job of that), and then for some inexplicable reason, Orton pins Ambrose. Why would you pin a babyface who has a match on the PPV instead of Kane, a heel, who doesn't have a match coming up on the PPV?! Cena should have pinned Kane here (to maybe make him look like he deserves the #! contendership match at least a title bit), or failing that, Ambrose should have pinned Kane.
Then Rollins attacked Orton for no real reason. I know they don't like each other, but doing it at this point just doesn't make sense for Rollins strategically.
Anyway, a poorly-booked go-home show. They didn't even announce Cesaro vs. Ziggler!
STUPID ANNOUNCER QUOTES:
1. Cole referred to the Orton vs. Cena Hell in a Cell match as a match with "so much at stake."
A blatant lie. There is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING at stake in this match! (or at least their wasn't when Cole said this).
Hunter's promo was okay. He announced that the main event would be Kane, Orton, & Rollins vs. Cena & Ambrose in a Street Fight. I'm pretty sure that his promo also contained a factual error re most HIAC wins. He is tied with Taker. He also announces that the winner of Cena vs. Orton will get a WWE World Heavyweight Title shot. WHY?! Cena LOST to Ambrose! Orton, on the other hand, has won a whole crap-ton of matches. He definitely deserves a title shot. Cena... not so much.
SHEAMUS & THE USOS, GOLDUST, STARDUST, & DAMIEN MIZ-DOW (w/The Miz)- 5.75/10
I cannot wait for Hell in a Cell. Not because I'm excited for any of the matches (aside from Rollins vs. Ambrose and Ziggler vs. Cesaro). It will just mean that things will FINALLY MOVE FORWARD on the undercard.
Miz was supposed to be in this match, but he made Miz-Dow wrestle it for him instead. I guess everyone is cool with this.
Miz-Dow wound up pinning Sheamus completely cleanly (with a roll-up, but still a totally clean win), which will hopefully set up Miz losing clean at Hell in a Cell and then Miz-Dow wanting a title shot, leading to tension between the two and a break-up. Maybe have Miz-Dow beat Sheamus at Survivor Series,then have Miz start carrying his own US Title belt around and claiming to be the champion, then have them do a ladder match at at TLC
ORTON & HUNTER BACKSTAGE- It turns out that the Orton vs. Cena Title shot stip was Rollins idea. Okay...
WYATTS VIDEO PACKAGE- can we move forward, please?
AJ LEE vs. ALICIA FOX (w/Paige)- 1.25/10
They announce AJ vs. Paige for the Divas Title at Hell in a Cell, for what seems like the 14,000th time. Alicia and Paige have a fake fight, allowing Alicia to roll the champion up. This is at least the third time Fox has pinned AJ, and there has been no talk whatsoever about getting her a title shot.
ORTON & ROLLINS BACKSTAGE- Rollins has done something nice for Orton, so Orton is a dick to him. Which is actually totally in character for Orton, so that was good.
RANDY ORTON PROMO- awesome. Then John Cena came it and wasn't so good. He said that the last time Orton was "relevant" was 2002. That is just... SO ridiculous it's not even funny. Then Paul Heyman came out and was good. He talked about Cena and Orton wanting "his beast." There's a dick joke in there somewhere.
Cena grabbed Heyman and went to give him the AA, but then decided not to. Orton then hit Cena with an RKO. Heyman laughed. Then Orton hit Heyman with an RKO.
BIG E. LANGSTON vs. RUSEV (w/Lana)- 5/10
POST-MATCH STUFF- Lana was hilarious, but seemed to lose her accent. Rusev said he would rip Big Show's heart out and eat it, furthering my theory that he is a Dothraki. They called for the Russian flag, but ti turns out that Big Show conspired with the ring crew to set up an American flag in its place. Rusev went to do something to a flag, but a brave US soldier tried to stop him. Security tried to stop the soldier, resulting in the soldier eating a superkick. BOO! I hope Big Show gets that darn Russian!
This would have been good, but then Big Show came out and cut a promo about how Rusev had "disrespected" this American soldier. How, exactly? He kicked a trained warrior in the face. What's so terrible about that?
Anyway, Big Show vowed revenge. He then vowed to beat Rusev up tonight. If you were already into this angle, this wasn't bad, but if you weren't, it was the same thing all over again.
Props to Michael Cole for pointing out that under no circumstances should any fan ever jump the barricade and rush the ring.
AMBROSE & CENA BACKSTAGE- Ambrose is watching See No Evil 2. That was hilarious. Both guys were good.
SUMMER RAE vs. BRIE BELLA- 2/10
Props to Cole for explaining why the loser of the Bella vs. Bella match at Hell in a Cell can't simply refuse to do what they are told.
DEAN AMBROSE PROMO- was awesome until he pulled out the screwdriver and shoved it in the Rollins-puppet's mouth. That looked horribly lame.
WHOA! That got non-PG in a hurry! And also stayed lame.
Then Rollins, Mercury, & Noble came out, and Rollins cut an AWESOME promo.
MICK FOLEY!
Once Foley showed up, stuff got awesome, but I just couldn't buy the idea that Ambrose could be near Rollins for that long and not jump him.
DOLPH ZIGGLER vs. CESARO- 6.5/10
Great for the time they were given, and hopefully a preview of the awesomeness to come at Hell in a Cell. After getting the clean win, Cesaro reminds us that he is a heel by hitting Dolph with the Neutralizer after the match.
THE AUTHORITY ARGUE BACKSTAGE- Hunter puts Kane in charge of the team for the match.
HELL IN A CELL VIDEO PACKAGE- great.
WYATTS VIDEO PACKAGE- same comment as before.
HANDICAP STREET FIGHT: John Cena & Dean Ambrose vs. The Authority (Randy Orton, Seth Rollins, & Kane)- 6.5/10
I know this happens a lot of other times, and I can't tell you why this bothered me here more than other places, but COME ON! It's a f*cking STREET FIGHT! Why are they just standing there on the apron obeying the barely-existent rules when there are no consequences for breaking them?
In fact, this whole match shouldn't even be happening! We got good segments to build up both HIAC matches already. Why are we giving this stuff away for free six days before? Not only is Ambrose getting his hands on Rollins, but Cena is, too, killing off that potential feud. Why not have the Authority do what they have done in the past and put the babyfaces against about six heels. Have the babyfaces be about to fight back, but then have the important heels (Orton & Rollins) come out and attack the babyfaces to build up more heat for the PPV?
Anyway, they do stuff, and then Kane calls for the cell to be lowered to trap Cena in with all three heels, but Ambrose makes it under at the last second. A few seconds later, he gets the hot tag and runs wild. They give away a bunch of cool cage spots (I assume the logic here is to let people see how cool HIAC is so they will buy the PPV, but I think the video packages have done a good enough job of that), and then for some inexplicable reason, Orton pins Ambrose. Why would you pin a babyface who has a match on the PPV instead of Kane, a heel, who doesn't have a match coming up on the PPV?! Cena should have pinned Kane here (to maybe make him look like he deserves the #! contendership match at least a title bit), or failing that, Ambrose should have pinned Kane.
Then Rollins attacked Orton for no real reason. I know they don't like each other, but doing it at this point just doesn't make sense for Rollins strategically.
Anyway, a poorly-booked go-home show. They didn't even announce Cesaro vs. Ziggler!
STUPID ANNOUNCER QUOTES:
1. Cole referred to the Orton vs. Cena Hell in a Cell match as a match with "so much at stake."
A blatant lie. There is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING at stake in this match! (or at least their wasn't when Cole said this).