BRM Reviews the 9/24/2014 Impact (NYC Gold Rush)
Posted: Sep 27th, '14, 18:02
JB EXPLAINS THE “NEW YORK CITY GOLD RUSH”- it’s ROH’s Survival of the Fittest tournament, but with only five guys going to the finals instead of six, and an extremely stupid name.
JB said that five guys had been chosen, but he also talked about them having to wrestle another match first and that “the winner” of the matches would go on to the finals. So if the opponent wins, does the opponent get to go to the final or not? I’m confused.
Either way, the selection of wrestlers for this thing made NO sense. There was MVP. That was okay. Then there was Aries, who would be a good choice except that he just lost a title match to Lashley, and really hasn’t won any matches since. Then there was Magnus, who has been a total afterthought, Abyss, whose recent appearances have consisted entirely of losing his own specialty match a bunch of times… and Robbie E. Yes. As in “Complete and Total Comedy Jobber Robbie E.” What a prestigious tournament this is.
MVP VIDEO PACKAGE- okay
NEW YORK CITY GOLD RUSH FIRST ROUND MATCH: MVP vs. Low Ki-6.75/10
First MVP came out. Then Low Ki came out… and THEN they showed us a video package for Low Ki… meaning that Ki and MVP were just standing there in the ring not doing anything for a few minutes.
The match was great, and some cool spots as well.
BRO-MANS BACKSTAGE- dumb.
ROBBIE E. IN-RING PROMO- good heel stuff.
NEW YORK CITY GOLD RUSH FIRST ROUND MATCH: Robbie E. vs. Tajiri- 0.75/10
They did stuff. It was mostly boring. Also, the babyface had to cheat to beat a comedy jobber.
SPUD PROMO- he assures us he and EC III aren’t having problems.
BFG COMMERCIAL- they are advertising the Wolves as being on the show. Well Wrestle-1 held a press conference earlier today (which was really early this morning in US time) saying that the Wolves wouldn’t be there. TNA EASILY could have fixed this by just cutting that clip out of the commercial, but chose not to because at this point, false advertising is really the only way they’ll be able to get people to buy Bound For Glory.
WE SPY ON SPUD’S PHONE CALL TO EC III- good for what it was.
NEW YORK CITY GOLD RUSH FIRST ROUND MATCH: Austin Aries vs. Knux (w/the Menagerie)- 4.5/10
Yeah. KNUX is in this tournament. They had a fun match and told their story well.
NEW YORK CITY GOLD RUSH FIRST ROUND MATCH: Magnus vs. Mr. Anderson- 5.75/10
COMMERCIAL FOR THE KNOCKOUTS CALENDAR- pointless. They have spent WAY too much time plugging a f*cking CALENDAR (read as: masturbation accessory… because let’s be honest: No one is buying it for the calendar). To make matters worse, they’re not going to sell many of these no matter what. You know why? Because if I want to see the sexy picture of the Knockouts in their bikinis, I can just type “2014 TNA Knockouts Calendar” into Google, and see all of the pictures that way. And yes, I have confirmed that this works. Purely in the interests of research, of course.
HAVOK VIDEO PACKAGE- okay
NEW YORK CITY GOLD RUSH FIRST ROUND MATCH: Abyss vs. Samuel Shaw- 4.25/10
Yeah. Sam Shaw is in this tournament. Christy is randomly no longer afraid of Samuel Shaw. I will admit that I honestly had not noticed this… until Taz decided to go point it out to everyone for no reason.
Shaw worked over Abyss’ hand. He also got to hit Abyss in the head with a chair… but then got pinned by a Black Hole Slam. Samuel Shaw=CHUMP
NEW YORK CITY GOLD RUSH FINAL MATCH: Abyss vs. Austin Aries vs. MVP vs. Tajiri vs. Mr. Anderson- 6.75/10
A good show from TNA. They did a good job streamlining the show, and I think they did this about as well as they possibly could have.
STUPID ANNOUNCER QUOTES:
1. Taz talked about how “dominant” Magnus was as world champion. I guess Taz forgot the angle.
2. Tenay (about the Tarantula)- “It’s tough to get a win because the referee is counting you.”
“Tough?” IT’S IMPOSSIBLE! The Tarantula is an ILLEGAL HOLD, and thus you cannot win a match with it! It doesn’t matter if the guy taps or to, it won’t count BECAUSE HE IS IN THE ROPES!
JB said that five guys had been chosen, but he also talked about them having to wrestle another match first and that “the winner” of the matches would go on to the finals. So if the opponent wins, does the opponent get to go to the final or not? I’m confused.
Either way, the selection of wrestlers for this thing made NO sense. There was MVP. That was okay. Then there was Aries, who would be a good choice except that he just lost a title match to Lashley, and really hasn’t won any matches since. Then there was Magnus, who has been a total afterthought, Abyss, whose recent appearances have consisted entirely of losing his own specialty match a bunch of times… and Robbie E. Yes. As in “Complete and Total Comedy Jobber Robbie E.” What a prestigious tournament this is.
MVP VIDEO PACKAGE- okay
NEW YORK CITY GOLD RUSH FIRST ROUND MATCH: MVP vs. Low Ki-6.75/10
First MVP came out. Then Low Ki came out… and THEN they showed us a video package for Low Ki… meaning that Ki and MVP were just standing there in the ring not doing anything for a few minutes.
The match was great, and some cool spots as well.
BRO-MANS BACKSTAGE- dumb.
ROBBIE E. IN-RING PROMO- good heel stuff.
NEW YORK CITY GOLD RUSH FIRST ROUND MATCH: Robbie E. vs. Tajiri- 0.75/10
They did stuff. It was mostly boring. Also, the babyface had to cheat to beat a comedy jobber.
SPUD PROMO- he assures us he and EC III aren’t having problems.
BFG COMMERCIAL- they are advertising the Wolves as being on the show. Well Wrestle-1 held a press conference earlier today (which was really early this morning in US time) saying that the Wolves wouldn’t be there. TNA EASILY could have fixed this by just cutting that clip out of the commercial, but chose not to because at this point, false advertising is really the only way they’ll be able to get people to buy Bound For Glory.
WE SPY ON SPUD’S PHONE CALL TO EC III- good for what it was.
NEW YORK CITY GOLD RUSH FIRST ROUND MATCH: Austin Aries vs. Knux (w/the Menagerie)- 4.5/10
Yeah. KNUX is in this tournament. They had a fun match and told their story well.
NEW YORK CITY GOLD RUSH FIRST ROUND MATCH: Magnus vs. Mr. Anderson- 5.75/10
COMMERCIAL FOR THE KNOCKOUTS CALENDAR- pointless. They have spent WAY too much time plugging a f*cking CALENDAR (read as: masturbation accessory… because let’s be honest: No one is buying it for the calendar). To make matters worse, they’re not going to sell many of these no matter what. You know why? Because if I want to see the sexy picture of the Knockouts in their bikinis, I can just type “2014 TNA Knockouts Calendar” into Google, and see all of the pictures that way. And yes, I have confirmed that this works. Purely in the interests of research, of course.
HAVOK VIDEO PACKAGE- okay
NEW YORK CITY GOLD RUSH FIRST ROUND MATCH: Abyss vs. Samuel Shaw- 4.25/10
Yeah. Sam Shaw is in this tournament. Christy is randomly no longer afraid of Samuel Shaw. I will admit that I honestly had not noticed this… until Taz decided to go point it out to everyone for no reason.
Shaw worked over Abyss’ hand. He also got to hit Abyss in the head with a chair… but then got pinned by a Black Hole Slam. Samuel Shaw=CHUMP
NEW YORK CITY GOLD RUSH FINAL MATCH: Abyss vs. Austin Aries vs. MVP vs. Tajiri vs. Mr. Anderson- 6.75/10
A good show from TNA. They did a good job streamlining the show, and I think they did this about as well as they possibly could have.
STUPID ANNOUNCER QUOTES:
1. Taz talked about how “dominant” Magnus was as world champion. I guess Taz forgot the angle.
2. Tenay (about the Tarantula)- “It’s tough to get a win because the referee is counting you.”
“Tough?” IT’S IMPOSSIBLE! The Tarantula is an ILLEGAL HOLD, and thus you cannot win a match with it! It doesn’t matter if the guy taps or to, it won’t count BECAUSE HE IS IN THE ROPES!