BRM Reviews the 9/25/1995 Nitro

[Big Red Machine]

If you asked what were the last words I would ever expect to hear a wrestling show start with, it would have been “gut yontif.” And this was years before Golderg! I guess I should be happy that we’re being included, but I will admit to being a bit amazed that they had someone who knew “gut yontif,” but didn’t have anyone who knew the much more common “Shanah Tovah” instead of “happy Rosh Hashanah.”

Bischoff must have chugged about seven cans of Red Bull right before the show started.

“DAS WUNDERKIND” ALEX WRIGHT vs. DISCO INFERNO- 3.25/10
The match was eh, and Disco took a hokey-looking bump or two.
On commentary, Bischoff hyped up a match between Craig “The Pit Bull” Pitman, and someone named “Kurasawa.” Kurasawa apparently recently broke Road Warrior Hawk’s arm. So WCW has had the freakin’ ROAD WARRIORS and have never mentioned it on Nitro until now?!

HULK HOGAN PROMO-
Hogan is wearing a neck brace because The Giant injured his neck eight days ago at Fall Brawl… but to let us know he was on the way to recovery, they had him doing some sort of squatting exercise which involved Jimmy Hart using the WCW World Heavyweight Title to place pressure on Hogan’s head and neck. It just looked so goofy.
Hogan cuts a typical Hogan promo. He claims that he hasn’t missed a single workout since his injury. He also referred to his rival as “that no-good, stinky, Giant,” then as a “big nasty Giant,” and finally as a “big stinky nasty Giant.” That is a level of wit right there that can only be descried as “unbelievable.”
He then informed us that he was going to build a Hulkamania Monster Truck and fight The Giant in a duel of monster trucks… and only if Giant won that match would he put the WCW World Heavyweight Title on the line against him. What a pussy!

SAVAGE AND LUGER HAVE AN IN-RING CONFRONTATION-
Luger says that he is sick of Macho not showing him any respect. Hogan showed him respect after their match. He and Sting always had mutual respect whenever they’ve gone at it… but last week, Savage SLAPPED HIM IN THE FACE. That part was good. Then he said he wanted a match against Savage next week. Still good. Then he offered to put his career on the line for no reason. That was dumb. Savage accepts, and we have a big match for next week.

BISCHOFF HYPES HALLOWEEN HAVOC-
So apparently when Hogan was talking about facing Big Show in Detroit, he was talking about the next PPV, Halloween Havoc. Bischoff then hyped up the “Machine vs. Machine” monster truck match between Hogan and Giant. To review: They are trying to sell us a PPV by hyping up a TWO-PERSON MONSTER TRUCK DERBY, in which we are supposed to be rooting for the heel because the only way we will get to see a WCW World Heavyweight Title match on that PPV is if the babyface loses the monster truck derby. Meanwhile, they are giving away Savage vs. Luger for the first time ever, with Luger’s career on the line, FOR FREE with just one week of hype.

SGT. CRAIG PITTMAN vs. KURASAWA (w/Col. Robert Parker)- 4/10
A quick Google search reveals that Kurasawa is actually Manabu Nakanishi with hair.

GENE OKERLUND INERVIEWS BRIAN PILLMAN & ARN ANDERSON-
Pillman cut a great promo, though his knowledge of the Constitution of the United States is a little bit lacking, as he seems to be under the impression that there is a “Right to Hospitalize Anyone Who Gets in Our Path.”
Both Arn and Pillman mentioned Flair’s quest to find a tag team partner, and Arn said that he was offended by Flair asking Savage and Sting. When did any of this happen? It’s not that Arn’s promo wasn’t good. It just left me unsure as to whether or not I had missed something unimportant.

They plugged WCW Saturday Night very hard. Maybe that’s where this stuff is happening. If so, it is a good thing, and is exactly how WWE should be using Smackdown and Main Event and Superstars. The problem is that they don’t actually tell us that any of this stuff happened on WCW Saturday Night, so when the wrestlers start to cut their promos, I am lost.

“MACHO MAN” RANDY SAVAGE vs. THE TASKMASTER (w/The Zodiac)- 0.75/10
They brawl on the outside for a bit, then Savage gets DQed for shoving the ref. He sets both heels up, one on top of the other, and goes for the diving elbow drop, but Taskmaster rolls out of the way so that only Zodiac gets hit. Then The Giant came out and started to beat Savage up until someone came out to try to make the save. If I gave you a million guesses you’d still never guess who it was. Go ahead. Try. I’ll wait.






It was Frankie Lancaster. I’m sure you’re all scratching your heads and asking “who in the blue hell is Frankie Lancaster?” and you’d be right to ask. He was a jobber. Giant quickly destroyed him, but at least he had the balls to try.
Another jobber soon followed suit. The same thing for Alex Wright.

Then Luger came out, walking very lowly. Certainly too slow to prevent Giant from chokeslamming Savage. Luger then stood over Savage’s fallen body… and The Giant attacked him from behind! Lex fought back, and the people went nuts, but he was quickly put down with a chokeslam as well. Taskmaster was not happy with The Giant for attacking Luger.

LEX LUGER vs. MENG- 3.75/10
Luger spent the entire commercial break in the ring, selling the chokeslam. He wasn’t even ready to go when Meng came out, but that didn’t stop Meng from going after him. Meng beat Luger up for a while, Lex made a short comeback, but then Meng STABBED HIM WITH A SPIKE while the ref was distracted and pinned him for the win.

An eh Nitro. The wrestling wasn’t good, but stuff does seem to be moving along. I just wish they’d cut out the filler (Kurasawa vs. Pittman, Wright vs. Disco) and give more time to the matches that matter.