This week’s show opens with clips of Dixie being put through a table. While this is happening, Taz tells us that the cheers are deafening, but whichever moron put this together apparently didn’t think let us HEAR said deafening cheers instead of dull, generic background music. Tenay then declared that “the nightmare of Dixie Carter is over.” How? She still owns half of the company! What is to stop her from directing EC III, Mo, Spud, Rhino and some other pals she might bring in from taking revenge for this action? The only way Tenay’s statement makes any sense is if we are supposed to believe that Dixie Carter was just murdered before our very eyes.

When the show-proper starts, Tenay decides to show his incompetence by saying that Bully feud with Dixie had merely been “frustrating- at times-“ for him. WHY WOULD YOU MARGINALIZE THE PLIGHT OF THE BABYFACE IN YOUR TOP FEUD?! And especially one that ends with a big 300lbs man putting a forty-nine year-old woman through a table?
In general, both Taz and Tenay did a terrible job of explaining to any new viewers WHY Dixie needed to be put through a table. Imagine that this was Stephanie McMahon going through a table instead of Dixie. During the recap, you would hear Cole and Lawler both emphasizing what a scumbag Steph has been over the past few months. In TNA, we just have Taz and Tenay talking about how great it is with no context.

OPENING SEGMENT- not very good.
Bully comes out and says Devon is the greatest tag team partner ever. Then the Hardyz come out and they talk about how awesome they all were IN WWE, FOURTEEN YEARS AGO! Wouldn’t it have been a lot more effective to just talk about how great both teams were, rather than focus on both their age and the fact that all of their great matches together were for another promotion? This felt more like a plug for the WWE Network than it did for the main event of tonight’s show.
The other problem with doing this the way that they did (specifically focusing on TLC matches) is that it left me with the impression that they would be having a TLC match tonight. In fact, what they were doing here, was talking up how awesome their wild, No DQ’s gimmick match brawls have been… in order to hype up a plain old tag team match.

SAMOA JOE PROMO & VIDEO PACKAGE- video package was good, promo was pointless. Joe said that Kurt wants him to “reinvigorate the X-Division”… which basically means that it isn’t very good at the moment. I’m sure Joe said what they told him to, but the whole thing just buried the X-Division.

OH! And while all of this has been happening- the big announcement of the Hardys vs. 3-D match, the video package about Joe winning the belt and Joes first promo as the new champion… they have had “#ItHappened” up in the corner of the screen… so they’re STILL FOCUSING ON DIXIE F*CKING CARTER!

SPUD, EC III, & RHINO SHOW UP- Spud looked beaten up. EC III had bandages around his head. Rhino seemed to not be hurt at all. Rhino is a badass. To attempt to destroy this image, Taz said that “they might be like three little lost sheep without Madame Dixie around.” I hope Rhino watches this show, hears this, goes to Taz’s house, knocks in the door, and shoot gores him right when he opens the door.

When we get back from commercial, they play the footage of Dixie going through a table again, then tell us we will have an update on her condition.

EY, ARIES, & ROODE WATCH FOOTAGE OF DIXIE GOING THROUGH A TABLE- they laugh about how funny it is. And not just her going through a table. They are so f*cking proud of themselves for getting an army together to stop her exit. At this point, the babyfaces are just coming off as HUGE ASSHOLES, and I am starting to feel sorry for Dixie. I mean really! What quarrel did Aries and Roode have with Dixie? NONE!
They also talk about taking out MVP & Pals. Is there a six man tag match or are they just going to jump them?

Apparently there is a match.

OH MY G-D I HATE MIKE TENAY SO MUCH! “We open the in-ring aspect of Impact”- WHO THE F*CK WOULD EVER SAY THAT? AND IT’S NOT EVEN TECHNICALLY TRUE, EITHER, BECAUSE THE HARDYS-DUDLEYS SEGMENT WAS IN THE RING! JUST CALL IT WHAT IT IS, MIKE: A G-D DAMN WRESTLING MATCH!

#1 CONTENDERSHIP SIX MAN X-DIVISION SCRAMBLE: Low Ki vs. Manik vs. Homicide vs. Crazzy Steve vs. Tigre Uno vs. Zema Ion- 3.25/10
GGGRRRR! WHY THE F*CK DO THESE GUYS KEEP GETTING #1 CONTENDERSHIP MATCHES! Low Ki has two wins since returning to TNA a few weeks ago. That is more wins than any of these other guys have had in the last seven months, aside from Tigre Uno, who has’t had win since mid-April

And because TNA is dumb, they book this as an elimination match so that FIVE GUYS HAVE TO GET BEATEN INSTEAD OF JUST ONE! And not only that, the match went less than seven and a half minutes, so basically everyone but Homicde and Low Ki looked like chumps! Almost half of the seven minutes was taken up by Homicide vs. Low Ki, so that means that the other four guys all got pinned in FOUR MINUTES! At least Manik got screwed by cheating, but the others… COME ON! Crazzy Steve got beaten in less than NINETY SECONDS. He is still yet to pick up a win in TNA. WHY IS HE EVEN EMPLOYED?!
This would have been SO MUCH BETTER if it was just Homicide vs. Low Ki. Ki won, because it’s not like Low Ki vs. Samoa Joe for the X-Division Title is the sort of thing you’d want to save for Bound For Glory.
This match some of the most pathetically un-desevered “this is wrestling!” and “this is awesome!” chants I have ever heard.

RANDOM BACKSTAGE CHUMPS LAUGH AT DIXIE GOING THROUGH A TABLE- EC III, Rhino, and Spud walk by, and you know what? Spud it right. These chumps are lucky they aren’t losing their jobs. Dixie might not be able to affect the wrestling, but these are just backstage punks. There’s no reason she can’t fire them. I hope she does.

SEGMENT WITH EC III & PALS & KURT ANGLE- bad.
EC III demands that Bully be fired. Kurt wants to force the injured heels to wrestle. The heels say they aren’t going anywhere until Bully is fired, so Kurt has the cops come arrest them. Spud is an idiot who doesn’t understand how diplomatic immunity works. He gets tackled and arrested by the cops. Rhino is also arrested. EC III rants and claims he owns New York. He gets arrested, too. This was stupid and pointless, and involved a babyface trying to force three injured heels to wrestle, then needing the cops to remove them from the building.

GUNNER AND SHAW BACKSTAGE- good. Apparently Gunner is wrestling Anderson tonight. They probably should have announced this before.

TWO MORE SEGMENTS WITH THE COPS DRAGGING THE HEELS OFF- once again… f*cking pointless.

MR. ANDERSON vs. GUNNER- DUD!
Shaw comes out and tries to do… something. He winds up fighting Anderson for the DQ and Gunner pulls him off.

DISSENSION BETWEEN THE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE- you do this angle so often that no one gives a sh*t anymore.

DIXIE UPDATE-
They tried to talk up how much attention Dixie going through a table got on social media, so they showed SIX Tweets. One by JR, and the other five by their own wrestlers. Here’s an idea: how about showing some Tweets from fans, so that it looks like people who arne’t in the wrestling business watch your show?

Anyway, Dixie has a broken back. And everything is still laughing about it. Taz finally reminds us all about the hell Dixie put people through to deserve to be put through a table… but he does so while wishing her a speedy recovery. WHAT THE F*CK?!
Tenay announces that next week he will have an “exclusive interview” with Dixie Carter. So this sh*t still isn’t over yet. BOOOOO!

FOUR WAY MATCH FOR THE TNA KNOCKOUTS TITLE: Gail Kim(c) vs. Angelina Love vs. Taryn Terrell vs. Velvet Sky- 3/10
Taryn is really hot. Tenay said something dumb about Gail asking for a four-way match and using a “divide and conquer” strategy being a better idea than just defending the title in singles matches.
Angelina counters Gail finisher, then hits Gail with her own and goes for the pin. Taz and Tenay called NONE of this.
The story of this match the dissension between Angelina and Velvet. This is totally unproductive. No one wants to see those two feud, and it also was an unnecessary loss for Taryn (yes, Velvet took the pin, but it is still Taryn not getting the job done in a title match and losing totally cleanly).

MVP & PALS PROMO- GREAT!

MVP & PALS vs. AUSTIN ARIES, ERIC YOUNG, & BOOBY ROODE- 7/10
I’m not a fan of Lashley not winning clean, but if they are building to Aries vs. MVP at Bound For Glory, this is a good way to start.

AMERICAN WOLVES PROMO- great!

ABYSS & BRAM & MAGNUS SEGMENT- bad
Abyss is sad because Magnus took Janice away. He calls Bram out, so Bram and Magnus both come out. Bram looks SO MUCH MORE DANGEROUS holding Janice that Abyss ever did. He says he won’t give Janice back because hitting Abyss with it makes Little Bram very jolly. If this sounds stupid to you, now imagine it with really lame dialogue instead of my attempts at humor.
Then Abyss asked Bram “Do you want to get extreme?” What? GET extreme? You’ve had TWO monster’s ball matches with this guy in the past month, including one LAST WEEK! He’s hit you with Janice TWICE? How much more extreme can you get?
Bram says yes. Abyss proposes what is essentially a “stairway to Janice” match. Yeah. Really. Bram accepts. Then, in the only decent part of this, Magnus cut a good promo on Abyss. This led to a short fight with the heels coming out on top, but still running away because… um…
Abyss then grabbed the mic and started to speak and oh my G-d they’re actually calling it “Stairway to Janice.” I was just being snarky before, but it turns out that this what they are actually calling it. If you’re ever booking a wrestling show, here’s a hint. If you want to do a gimmick match, and the name you have chosen for the gimmick match sounds really stupid when you say it out loud, PICK A DIFFERENT F*CKING NAME!

JAMES STORM & SANADA VIDEO- F*CKING WEIRD!
This started off with Storm sitting on the stairs of a porch, looking REALLY creepy and saying “the revolution is upon us,” which was such an out of character line that actually asked out loud “is he being possessed or something?”
Storm gets up and walks into a shack where a shirtless Sanada is standing silently with his hands behind his back. Storm calls Sanada weak, slaps him, then grabs him face and looks right into his eyes. Storm says “Look into my eyes. What do you see? Glory. Salvation. Revolution. I am your light. I am your strength. Come to me, and I will make you The Great Sanada.” Then Storm got angry and ordered the cameraman to “leave! Now!” As the cameraman was retreating, we heard Storm tell Sanada “you’re awakening beings now!” and then we heard Sanada scream in pain.
Yeah… I’m pretty sure that Sanada will wind up with James Storm’s penis in very uncomfortable places. This seems like something ripped straight from Law & Order: SVU.


COMMERCIAL FOR NEXT WEEK’S SHOW- apparently there will be some sort of multi-person cage match to determine the #1 contender to the TNA World Heavyweight Title.

TEAM 3-D vs. THE HARDYS- 7.75/10
Team 3-D is wearing their WWE camo gear, and I mean THAT gear. Devon’s shirt has a 3D in the middle, and underneath that it says “Boyz,” while the equivalent space above the 3D is covered by appears to be a freshly sewn-on piece of yellow cloth. At least they found a yellow that blended well with the color he already had. The back of his shirt spelled his name “D-Von.” The back of Bully’s shirt has similarly sewn-on piece of cloth with “Team” written on it above the 3D, but below that it clearly says “Dudleyville.”
The announcers were talking about the possibility of a Hardys vs. Wolves match as if it didn’t just happen two weeks ago.
Team 3-D’s attire aside, the match was pretty darn great, aside from the part where Team 3-D randomly went to get tables in the middle of a regular match.
Also- FLYING CORKSCREW DOOMSDAY NECKBREAKER!


A terrible show from TNA aside from the main event.

Big Red Machine wrote: In general, both Taz and Tenay did a terrible job of explaining to any new viewers WHY Dixie needed to be put through a table. Imagine that this was Stephanie McMahon going through a table instead of Dixie. During the recap, you would hear Cole and Lawler both emphasizing what a scumbag Steph has been over the past few months. In TNA, we just have Taz and Tenay talking about how great it is with no context.

yeah, Taz and Tenay suck, but oh boy do you give a lot of credit to Cole and Lawler

Big Red Machine wrote: OPENING SEGMENT- not very good.
Bully comes out and says Devon is the greatest tag team partner ever. Then the Hardyz come out and they talk about how awesome they all were IN WWE, FOURTEEN YEARS AGO! Wouldn’t it have been a lot more effective to just talk about how great both teams were, rather than focus on both their age and the fact that all of their great matches together were for another promotion? This felt more like a plug for the WWE Network than it did for the main event of tonight’s show.
The other problem with doing this the way that they did (specifically focusing on TLC matches) is that it left me with the impression that they would be having a TLC match tonight. In fact, what they were doing here, was talking up how awesome their wild, No DQ’s gimmick match brawls have been… in order to hype up a plain old tag team match.

how is it more effective to just say you were an awesome tag team and not reference the matches that made you famous, it doesn't matter if it happened in another company, TNA wasn't even around, it's not like you shouldn't talk about wrestling before you're company existed. plus i really don't get how you thought it was gonna be a TLC.

Big Red Machine wrote: SAMOA JOE PROMO & VIDEO PACKAGE- video package was good, promo was pointless. Joe said that Kurt wants him to “reinvigorate the X-Division”… which basically means that it isn’t very good at the moment. I’m sure Joe said what they told him to, but the whole thing just buried the X-Division.

Honesty, i appreciate it

Big Red Machine wrote: OH! And while all of this has been happening- the big announcement of the Hardys vs. 3-D match, the video package about Joe winning the belt and Joes first promo as the new champion… they have had “#ItHappened” up in the corner of the screen… so they’re STILL FOCUSING ON DIXIE F*CKING CARTER!

i don't see a problem with this, it was a big thing

Big Red Machine wrote: EY, ARIES, & ROODE WATCH FOOTAGE OF DIXIE GOING THROUGH A TABLE- they laugh about how funny it is. And not just her going through a table. They are so f*cking proud of themselves for getting an army together to stop her exit. At this point, the babyfaces are just coming off as HUGE ASSHOLES, and I am starting to feel sorry for Dixie. I mean really! What quarrel did Aries and Roode have with Dixie? NONE!

you do remember Roode and Dixie had a lot of problems not long ago. plus this is typical babyface, they make fun of the misfortune of being a heel

Big Red Machine wrote: They also talk about taking out MVP & Pals. Is there a six man tag match or are they just going to jump them?

it was one of the only matches announced prior to thursday

Big Red Machine wrote: This would have been SO MUCH BETTER if it was just Homicide vs. Low Ki. Ki won, because it’s not like Low Ki vs. Samoa Joe for the X-Division Title is the sort of thing you’d want to save for Bound For Glory.
This match some of the most pathetically un-desevered “this is wrestling!” and “this is awesome!” chants I have ever heard.

i think the awesome chant was legitimally just at the fact that you had Ki vs Cide in the ring for the first time in a long time, and not the actual wrestling

Big Red Machine wrote: RANDOM BACKSTAGE CHUMPS LAUGH AT DIXIE GOING THROUGH A TABLE- EC III, Rhino, and Spud walk by, and you know what? Spud it right. These chumps are lucky they aren’t losing their jobs. Dixie might not be able to affect the wrestling, but these are just backstage punks. There’s no reason she can’t fire them. I hope she does.

if there's something we learned from the Del Rio's situation, staff can laugh at anyone and not get fired.

Big Red Machine wrote: FOUR WAY MATCH FOR THE TNA KNOCKOUTS TITLE: Gail Kim(c) vs. Angelina Love vs. Taryn Terrell vs. Velvet Sky- 3/10
Taryn is really hot. Tenay said something dumb about Gail asking for a four-way match and using a “divide and conquer” strategy being a better idea than just defending the title in singles matches.
Angelina counters Gail finisher, then hits Gail with her own and goes for the pin. Taz and Tenay called NONE of this.
The story of this match the dissension between Angelina and Velvet. This is totally unproductive. No one wants to see those two feud, and it also was an unnecessary loss for Taryn (yes, Velvet took the pin, but it is still Taryn not getting the job done in a title match and losing totally cleanly).

this was a great match. I don't think the dissension between TBP will continue, we're not getting a feud out of that. And Taryn doesn't look bad for losing in a 4-way, only the one pinned looks a bit bad, but Taryn is still hot (both physically and momentum-wise), she was still the MVP of that match.

Big Red Machine wrote: Abyss then grabbed the mic and started to speak and oh my G-d they’re actually calling it “Stairway to Janice.” I was just being snarky before, but it turns out that this what they are actually calling it. If you’re ever booking a wrestling show, here’s a hint. If you want to do a gimmick match, and the name you have chosen for the gimmick match sounds really stupid when you say it out loud, PICK A DIFFERENT F*CKING NAME!

I like the name, it's cheesy, haha! i love it , maggle!

Big Red Machine wrote: Yeah… I’m pretty sure that Sanada will wind up with James Storm’s penis in very uncomfortable places. This seems like something ripped straight from Law & Order: SVU.

edgy, i like it

cero2k wrote:

Big Red Machine wrote: In general, both Taz and Tenay did a terrible job of explaining to any new viewers WHY Dixie needed to be put through a table. Imagine that this was Stephanie McMahon going through a table instead of Dixie. During the recap, you would hear Cole and Lawler both emphasizing what a scumbag Steph has been over the past few months. In TNA, we just have Taz and Tenay talking about how great it is with no context.

yeah, Taz and Tenay suck, but oh boy do you give a lot of credit to Cole and Lawler

They're not particularly entertaining, and they say things that don't help, but they don't say things that actively HURT the show (ans JBL often manages to cover for them). Wtih Taz and Tenay, they are constantly saying stupid things, things that make no sense, not treating situations with the degree of seriousness they deserve, they bicker just for the sake of bickering ALL THE TIME, and everything they do (especially Taz) seems to for the purpose of making jokes rather than helping the show... and they do post-produced commentary while JBL, Cole, and Lawler are all live.

cero2k wrote:

Big Red Machine wrote: OPENING SEGMENT- not very good.
Bully comes out and says Devon is the greatest tag team partner ever. Then the Hardyz come out and they talk about how awesome they all were IN WWE, FOURTEEN YEARS AGO! Wouldn’t it have been a lot more effective to just talk about how great both teams were, rather than focus on both their age and the fact that all of their great matches together were for another promotion? This felt more like a plug for the WWE Network than it did for the main event of tonight’s show.
The other problem with doing this the way that they did (specifically focusing on TLC matches) is that it left me with the impression that they would be having a TLC match tonight. In fact, what they were doing here, was talking up how awesome their wild, No DQ’s gimmick match brawls have been… in order to hype up a plain old tag team match.

how is it more effective to just say you were an awesome tag team and not reference the matches that made you famous, it doesn't matter if it happened in another company, TNA wasn't even around, it's not like you shouldn't talk about wrestling before you're company existed. plus i really don't get how you thought it was gonna be a TLC.

It just felt like they were talking up WWE in a segment where it was completely pointless. EVERYONE knows the Hardys and the Dudleys, and for those who don't, that is the job of the announcers to tell them. This just felt like a mutual admiration society.
As for how I thought it was going to be a TLC... because all of the matches they talked about were tables, ladders, or TLC matches. In fact, they all but said the words TLC. And the people were chanting "ONE MORE MATCH!"

cero2k wrote:

Big Red Machine wrote: OH! And while all of this has been happening- the big announcement of the Hardys vs. 3-D match, the video package about Joe winning the belt and Joes first promo as the new champion… they have had “#ItHappened” up in the corner of the screen… so they’re STILL FOCUSING ON DIXIE F*CKING CARTER!

i don't see a problem with this, it was a big thing

So focus on it when people are talking about Dixie. When the Hardys and 3-D are on TV, you should have a hashtag like #12YearsInTheMaking. When Joe is talking, have a hashtag like #X-Division Title.

cero2k wrote:

Big Red Machine wrote: EY, ARIES, & ROODE WATCH FOOTAGE OF DIXIE GOING THROUGH A TABLE- they laugh about how funny it is. And not just her going through a table. They are so f*cking proud of themselves for getting an army together to stop her exit. At this point, the babyfaces are just coming off as HUGE ASSHOLES, and I am starting to feel sorry for Dixie. I mean really! What quarrel did Aries and Roode have with Dixie? NONE!

you do remember Roode and Dixie had a lot of problems not long ago. plus this is typical babyface, they make fun of the misfortune of being a heel

And then they made up during the spring when Roode agreed to be on Dixie's team and when she helped him win the tables matches against Bully at Sacrifice.
I agree with you about babyfaces making fun of a heel's misfortune, but without the context, it felt mean. All we saw was images of Dixie going through a table, and then everyone laughing. If Bully were laughing at it, I would be okay, but they way they did it on tonight;s show really just came across as everyone being mean.

cero2k wrote:

Big Red Machine wrote: They also talk about taking out MVP & Pals. Is there a six man tag match or are they just going to jump them?

it was one of the only matches announced prior to thursday

Then they should have had a graphic! Or at least had the announcers mention it! It's simple, it makes the show look more professional, and it gives us a reason to want to stick around.

cero2k wrote:

Big Red Machine wrote: This would have been SO MUCH BETTER if it was just Homicide vs. Low Ki. Ki won, because it’s not like Low Ki vs. Samoa Joe for the X-Division Title is the sort of thing you’d want to save for Bound For Glory.
This match some of the most pathetically un-desevered “this is wrestling!” and “this is awesome!” chants I have ever heard.

i think the awesome chant was legitimally just at the fact that you had Ki vs Cide in the ring for the first time in a long time, and not the actual wrestling

I think you're being WAY too nice. These are people who chanted "better than the divas!" at the knockouts match, when most of the Divas who get screentime nowadays are BETTER than three of the four women in the match. Also, TNA crowds have an atrocious history of chanting this is awesome at ANYTHING.

cero2k wrote:

Big Red Machine wrote: RANDOM BACKSTAGE CHUMPS LAUGH AT DIXIE GOING THROUGH A TABLE- EC III, Rhino, and Spud walk by, and you know what? Spud it right. These chumps are lucky they aren’t losing their jobs. Dixie might not be able to affect the wrestling, but these are just backstage punks. There’s no reason she can’t fire them. I hope she does.

if there's something we learned from the Del Rio's situation, staff can laugh at anyone and not get fired.

It's different when she owns the company. Also, WWE is a publicly traded company. TNA is not.

cero2k wrote:

Big Red Machine wrote: FOUR WAY MATCH FOR THE TNA KNOCKOUTS TITLE: Gail Kim(c) vs. Angelina Love vs. Taryn Terrell vs. Velvet Sky- 3/10
Taryn is really hot. Tenay said something dumb about Gail asking for a four-way match and using a “divide and conquer” strategy being a better idea than just defending the title in singles matches.
Angelina counters Gail finisher, then hits Gail with her own and goes for the pin. Taz and Tenay called NONE of this.
The story of this match the dissension between Angelina and Velvet. This is totally unproductive. No one wants to see those two feud, and it also was an unnecessary loss for Taryn (yes, Velvet took the pin, but it is still Taryn not getting the job done in a title match and losing totally cleanly).

this was a great match. I don't think the dissension between TBP will continue, we're not getting a feud out of that. And Taryn doesn't look bad for losing in a 4-way, only the one pinned looks a bit bad, but Taryn is still hot (both physically and momentum-wise), she was still the MVP of that match.

The thing with Taryn is that this is EXACTLY what happened with Tyler Black. He didn't have too many one-on-one match with the champ, and two of the ones that he did were actually time limit draws. What killed his momentum was constantly being put in multi-man title matches and not getting the job done.
Plus, if you have very few matches that will actually DRAW left, why would give one of them away for free just ix weeks before Bound For Glory?

cero2k wrote:

Big Red Machine wrote: Yeah… I’m pretty sure that Sanada will wind up with James Storm’s penis in very uncomfortable places. This seems like something ripped straight from Law & Order: SVU.

edgy, i like it

Not quite. If it leads to James Storm: Abusive Cult Leader, then that is one thing. If it doesn't lead to something like that, there were ways that they could have done this that would have come off a lot less weird. This whole thing felt out of character for both guys and out of tone for the show as a whole.