BRM Reviews the 7/24/2014 Impact
Posted: Jul 25th, '14, 13:59
For those wondering when Gail vs. Taryn III would be, the answer is tonight. WHY WOULD YOU NOT BUILD THIS UP?!
FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE MATCH: Bobby Roode vs. MVP- 4.5/10
Is MVP running away really that big a factor that they needed to make this Falls Count Anywhere? He’s ON CRUTCHES for crying out loud!
The babyface is beating up a one-legged man being forced into this match by a babyface authority figure who was brought in because the previous two heel authority figures were abusing their power. The heel in question also owns the company… you’ve all heard me rant on this time and again. My issues with this feud still stand… but here’s a new one: from a pure match quality POV, A MAN ON CRUTCHES CAN’T DO MUCH!
Bobby Roode, the babyface, just THREW A CRIPPLED MAN DOWN THE STAIRS. This is actually getting uncomfortable for me to watch.
Kenny King interferes to protect MVP, then EY comes out and takes him out.
Watching this match made me gain a whole other level of respect for MVP for taking some of these bumps with his injury.
Well… Roode finally got his revenge, but they totally killed the moment by immediately cutting to a video package of last week’s main event.
DIXIE CARTER PROMO- good. She vows to be standing over Bully’s dead body at the end of the night.
JEFF HARDY PROMO- He says that we haven’t seen the end of Willow. This was met with boos. Maybe you should rethink that, Jeff.
Jeff then cut a promo to bring Matt out, and Matt cut a good promo saying that they want to go after the tag titles. Wolves vs. Hardys at BFG- Book it!
Or just do it next week on free TV with one month’s worth of build. (Actually, having the Hardys lose hear and then doing an angle where they build themselves up to face the Wolves again at BFG could be good).
They call out the Wolves, who just look so wrong wearing shirts and ties. Eddie said that if the Wolves want to be the best of all time, they need to beat the Hardys. Davey said he wanted to do the match next week.
AUSTIN ARIES PROMO- dumb and pointless. Why the f*ck would he possibly not cash in?
BRO-MANS SEGMENT- They got a surprisingly babyface reaction. Zema managed to get some cheap heat, though.
(Actual BRM quote while watching this): Huh. That music sounds familiar. OH F*CK! IT’S LOW KI!
LOW KI vs. ZEMA ION (w/the Bro-Mans)- no rating. Good ROH-style squash.
Low Ki appears to be wearing gear that he borrowed from MVP.
Apparently Gail vs. Taryn will be a Knockouts Title match. WHY? Taryn hasn’t earned anything yet! GRRR!
GUNNER HANGS OUT WITH HIS NEW BEST FRIEND SAM SHAW- They make a joke about New Yorkers being weird. Anderson then shows up and, in his own dickish way, asks Gunner to leave Shaw in the back for their tag match. Shaw says he will eventually earn Anderson’s trust. Anderson says that will never happen. A good segment.
DIXIELAND BACKSTAGE- Dixie introduces King Mo as her new pal. She told Rhino, Ethan and Spud that they had to take the babyfaces out tonight. Mo vowed to put Bully in the ICU.
BRAM & MAGNUS vs. KEN ANDERSON & GUNNER- 3.25/10
Tenay’s commentary really made me want to see a Bram vs. Gunner singles match if it was given decent time.
The match was extremely short and, surprisingly, had a clean finish with the heels going over. Bram went to beat Anderson down afterward the finish (and when I say after the finish, I mean right after the finish. He didn’t celebrate the win or anything; He just decided to go punch Anderson some more), and Gunner made the save.
It turned into a brawl and Bram hit Gunner with a low blow to get the advantage on him, then went to get the crowbar from under the ring. Shaw came out to protect Gunner and got beaten down with the crowbar in order to buy Gunner time to recover and fight back. Bram got some heat on Magus again, but then Abyss made the save. Tenay reminds us that Abyss is angry because Bram hit him with Janice to beat him in a Monster’s Ball a few weeks ago. I had totally forgotten this, and that is a BAD thing. Someone getting hit with Janice is not the sort of thing that you should ever allow a fan to forget.
Anyway, Abyss was so angry about being assaulted with a “sick” weapon that he punched Bram a few times and then was content to just stand in the ring and pose.
ECW GUYS BACKSTAGE- Bully says that he is losing sleep because he hasn’t yet kept his promise to put Dixie through a table. Good. Tommy said there is no one else he would rather team with. Devon said “Oh my brother. Testify.”
AUSTIN ARIES MAKES HIS DECISION-
I can appreciate that they tried to make it a big deal by giving it a video package and giving it the top of the hour slot, but COME ON! Everyone already knows what Aries will do, and doing anything else will make Aries look either silly or cowardly.
So Angle calls out Aries and makes a speech hyping up Option C. Aries says the same stuff he said in his earlier promo. Then MVP came out pointed out that Lashley was bigger and stronger than Aries, and that Lashley is a huge monster. He says that Aries isn’t dumb, and he should be smart enough to know that cashing in on Lashley would be a waste.
Aries cut a promo putting over himself and the X-Division. He said that he created Option C because he wanted to “leave a legacy” for the X-Division Title. Ironically, this has actually resulted in the title becoming pretty much worthless (which is really the fault of the writers, but the excuse to only focus on it once a year has been the reason that no effort has been put into the belt at all until June every year for the past two years).
Then he said something really wacky and dumb. He vowed that if he won, he would make a rule that essentially turned the X-Division Title into MITB, year-round.
1) This is idea is stupid on its own.
2) You already have Feast or Fired for that.
3) We all know that this will never happen, so they pretty much just told us that Aries won’t win.
I also didn’t like his talk about how he would “level the playing field” because Lashley has pretty much always won cleanly. I understand that they are building that fact up subtly, but having a babyface claim the reverse can only hurt both the babyface and Lashley’s eventual turn.
The idea of this segment wasn’t bad, but the build-up killed it. It would have made a lot more sense to first do a segment where MVP and Lashley come out and try to intimidate Aries. Then you can tease that maybe Aries won’t take the title shot before having him come out and cut this great promo and accept the match. That way there is at least some sense behind teasing that maybe Aries won’t take the title shot.
GAIL VS. TARYN VIDEO PACKAGE- GREAT!
The problem is that the whole time, they had “#OptionC” up in the corner of the screen. Shouldn’t they have had a hashtag to get people talking about this match, so people will get excited and tune in for it?
TNA KNOCKOUTS TITLE MATCH: Gail Kim(c) vs. Taryn Terrell- 4/10
Okay, this is driving me nuts. This right here is an honest to G-d money match (and if you don’t think it is a legit money match, you have to admit it is about as close as TNA has to one). They are giving it away FOR FREE with almost no build at all (I don’t think Taryn has even been mention on TV in a month). Taryn has been away for most of a year! That means EVERY SINGLE MATCH-UP FOR HER IS FRESH! Is it really that difficult to spent the summer having her go through the rest of the roster while Gail puts her over on commentary and build to a match at Bound For Glory? (This would also allow Taryn to work off the ring rust before the big match, because she was pretty bad in her first match back, and wasn’t much better here, either).
To further cement how unimportant this match looked, Taz and Tenay spent Taryn’s entire entrance hyping up the two title matches on next week’s show. After about a minute of actually talking about this big match, Taz and Teany started hype up other things instead. One of these was that Muta would be here tonight (especially the damn streetfight). I think this might be the first time this has been mentioned all night. This should have gotten MAJOR hype.
While they were hyping up the streetfight, Gail and Taryn did a spot where Taryn wen to the top rope, but Gail cut her off and gave her a super cravate suplex or something along those lines. Then, once he was done talking about the streetfight about five seconds later, Tenay said “Taryn Terrell goes high-risk, and it does not pay off because of what Gail Kim just did.” Tenay is he f*cking PLAY-BY-PLAY announcer, and his nickname is “the professor.” Between waiting until he was done with his plug to call anything at all, the audio quality, and the fact that he gave such pathetic call like “because of what Gail Kim just did,” I really got the feeling that the commentary was done later on in a production facility (as opposed to live like TNA claims), and that Mike honestly did not see the spot because he was looking down at a script to read his plug, and he didn’t even care enough about the match to rewind the damn tape so he could at least SEE what happened and call it even remotely competently. All of this just made me not give a sh*t about what is both a HUGE rematch and Knockouts Title match. I have never had the commentary so take me out of a match before.
Luckily for me, the Beautiful People came out and caused a DQ, so at least the match is saved. Then they beat down the babyfaces. Tenay complains that TBP ruined this match which he claimed was so “terrific” and yet he seemed to barely be paying attention at all.
MUTA WILL BE OUT NEXT- that’s strange. I could have word that Tenay said the streetfight was up next. But it’s not like hey had time to fix this goof, right?
DIXIE CARTER IS SPIED ON- she has more people as back-up tonight. Oooh! A mystery! Speaking of mysteries, why has this cameraman not been fired for spying on one of the owners of the company?
MUTA COMES OUT- Tenay’s voice-over really drowned out the crowd, which seemed very hot for Muta, which was a shame. Also, someone really needs to explain to Tenay that you can’t refer to Japan as “the Orient” anymore. It’s like calling a black person “colored.” Has he just not noticed that no one has used that term in about thirty years?
Robbie E comes out and complains that he didn’t get a “grand entrance.” He challenges Muta to a match.
THE GREAT MUTA vs. ROBBIE E- eh.
Robbie takes it to Muta, then shoves Hebner purely for the sake of having a ref bump so that Muta could spray the mist. This led to Muta’s comeback and picking up the quick win. Was the ref-bump and the mist really necessary? I get that people like the mist, but it is technically cheating (hence the need for the ref bump), and the total lack of a shine made it seem like Robbie would have won if Muta hadn’t cheated. Why not all of the Bro-Mans come out, then have Muta beat Robbie clean and have the other two attack Muta after the match so that Muta can use the mist legally?
POST-MATCH SEGMENT- GREAT!
James Storm comes out and calls Muta “the great fraud.” Good one, James!
He then gets down to real insults, calling Muta a washed-up has been. He then says he is annoyed that Muta is coming in and trying to steal the spotlight in the company he helped build. Storm then said that in Tennessee, they don’t spit mist. He then took a swig of his beer and spit that in Muta’s face. Storm started to beat Muta down. Yasu tried to make the save. He failed, but at least Mike Tenay succeeded in saying “Japan” instead of “the Orient.”
Sanada then chased Storm off with a chair. Sanada checked on Muta. Muta got up and started angrily yelling at Storm, who was still on the ramp. Muta even sprayed red mist into the air.
Then Sanada hit Muta from behind with the chair. This got a HUGE reaction. Unfortunately for us at home, because of the position of the hardcam, we saw Sanada get behind Muta and hit him with the chair, kind of killing the surprise (although the shot of things with James Storm in the foreground watching his handiwork and nodding was kind of cool).
Sanada started to put the boots to Muta. Yasu tried to make the save, but Sanada spat red mist into his eyes (I’d have preferred it if he just took him out with a wrestling move). Sanada then hit Muta with a Moonsault, and Taz did a great job of getting over the important of that. Sanada then gave Storm a brief bow and they left together.
This segment has received some criticism, and I’d like to deal with the two major arguments against it right now. The first is the clam that it came off like a rip-off of Seth Rollins’ turn on the Shield. To that I say that the set-up is so general that you really can’t apply that criticism. The only similarities are one guy turning on someone by hitting him in the back with a chair. This is not like EY winning the title, which was such a shameless rip-off of Daniel Bryan that you wonder they thought it was a good idea in the first place (especially when they would have made a lot more money doing the title change on PPV two weeks later). This set-up is nothing new in wrestling.
The second criticism I have heard this segment receive is that it was a trademark non-sensical Russo swerve, which is done just for the sake of having a swerve. Take the example of Lashley joining MVP’s faction: If all Lashley, MVP, and Kenny King wanted to do was beat down EY, what was the purpose of Lashley pretending to be making the save for EY and having MVP and Kenny pretend to be afraid when Lashley came out? There was no logical kayfabe reason behind it. It was just done for the purpose of “fooling” the fans. A swerve for the sake of a swerve.
This segment might seem very similar on the surface. After all, how is Sanada coming out to save Muta, only to then attack him and leave with Storm any different than what Lashley did? The answer is that I don’t think Sanada came out here with the intention of turning on Muta. I think he meant to save him when he did.
Then, while Sanada was checking on Muta, Storm shouted “YOU AIN’T NO LEGEND!” and I think this clicked with Sanada. After all, Muta just had some trouble beating up a clown like Robbie E. and then easily got his ass kicked by Storm. He needed Sanada to save him… and then Storm’s earlier words started to make sense to Sanada. Maybe Muta really is just a washed-up has-been, trying to live vicariously through Sanada’s success in TNA because he can’t do it on his own anymore. Compare that to the other legends who Sanada has seen in TNA: Kurt Angle fights his own battles. So did Sting. Team 3-D are about to go out and do so in the next match. They don’t need to live vicariously through anyone. (And if we wanted to really get in-depth: look at guys like Rikidozan, Kobashi, Misawa, Sasaki, and Akiyama. They kept going on their own at full steam- even when in the cases of Rikidozan, Kobashi, and Sasaki, when they had extremely successful proteges of their own).
Am I reading too much into this? Maybe (especially the puro part- I doubt that whoever came up with this knows much of anything about puro). But hey… nothing has told me that this is untrue, and it lines up with the facts, so I’ll hold out hope.
HYPE FOR DESTINATION X- good.
JB INTERVIEWS DIXIE & MO- THIS is where Dixie got seats? Really? It’s not like Hammerstein where the small side balconies are like your own private boxes with awesome views! Maybe this is Dixie showing she is afraid of Bully, so she is upstairs where he can’ get her. Then again, that would bury by King Mo and whoever else Dixie is bringing in.
STREET FIGHT: Bully Ray, Devon, & Tommy Dreamer vs. Rhino, Ethan Carter III, & Rockstar Spud- 4/10
Didn’t Devon lose a match where he had to leave TNA forever? Like… less than a year ago?
EC III has taped rips from being put through a table last week… so we have three fully-healthy babyfaces known for their acumen in weapons matches taking on Rhino, and injured EC III, and the completely pathetic chump that is Spud (he was having trouble carrying a trashcan full of weapons). This seems horribly unfair.
Bully Ray grated EC III’s chest with a cheese grater. EC III did not bleed at all, nor did he even appear to have any scratches on him at all. You know, I’m beginning to think that none of this is real. And I mean REALLY?! Why would you do a spot like that, especially this early in the match? It won’t get any more of a reaction than any other weapon-shot, but it will expose the match. And if you do think it would get more of a reaction than any other weapon, why would you do it this early in the match?
We got a bunch of weapon-spots to the head, and many of them looked hokey, like the guy taking it stopped moving and allowed the other guy to hit him in the head. It would have actually looked a lot better if the guys had at least tried to get their hands up.
The babyfaces pretty much destroyed the heels, and as I noted before, this wasn’t enjoyable because it felt completely unfair to the heels (especially when you add in the fact that we just saw EC III get put through a table last week). Then a large man in a hoody reached over the guardrail to attack Devon. Security showed up to yell at him, but Bully attacked him and pulled him over the guardrail. Tenay wondered who this man was, and Taz soon shouted “I KNOW WHO THAT IS!” Then he proceeded to keep this man’s identity to himself. Good work there, Taz.
You’d think that taking Devon out like this would lead to the heat or something logical like that, but Dreamer beat up both Spud and Ethan on his own. Then another large man in a hoodie attacked. Taz also apparently knew who this man was, as he the stuttered around for a name before telling us “he used to go by Ezekiel. Big Zeke.” I absolutely HATE that they do this. I understand that they can’t call him “Ezekiel Jackson,” but then why bring the name up at all? Why not just say “That’s RYCKLON STEPHENS! He is a former multi-time champion! He’s a bad dude!” People will either know who Rycklon Stephens is, or (more likely) they’ll go google him to see who this new dude is and what titles he has won. Either way, you have done your job, and you don’t sound stupid by telling us who someone used to be.
Anyway, he took Tommy out, allowing EC III to give him the One-Percenter on a chair for the win. I still have no idea what happened to Bully and the other guy, who were last seen brawling on the floor.
Dixie and Mo showed up, and Dixie ordered security to release the first large man (they didn’t even try to go after FKA Ezekiel). Bully was nowhere to be found, so we still don’t know what happened to him. Taz finally identified the first man as Snitsky. First Devon and then Bully rolled into the ring to get beatdowns. Snitsky gave Bully an AWESOME chokeslam.
As a match, this wasn’t good, but it made for a decent angle. Does anyone really care about Gene Snitsky and the artist formerly know as Ezekiel Jackson? No. They won’t affect buys or ratings or anything, but they came off as bad dudes who were threats to our heroes, and that was what was called for here.
An okay show from TNA. They did some good stuff, they did some bad stuff, they did some eh stuff. There was a lot of stuff that felt like set-up; almost like this was a go-home show (which it was). To be honest, my biggest complaint (well… aside from babyfaces doing terrible things) was the announcing. The audio problems with Tenay’s post- produced commentary are extremely apparent. They couldn’t have fixed this in the past month?
There is one more thing I would like to comment on, though: During Gail’s entrance, Tenay put over how great things have been since Kurt Angle became director of wrestling operations. One of the things he put Kurt oer for was bringing back the six-sided ring… which was a decision made by the fans, in a poll that started before Kurt got kayfabe power. That good aside, I actually felt that the rest of what Mike said was very true (and I can’t even remember the last time I agreed with Tenay’s hype of how something has “changed the landscape of TNA” whatever standard phrase he likes to use).
Tenay said that since Kurt had taken over, there was a “focus on in-ring competition” and on “making great matches.” This has been almost completely true. I finally feel like TNA is actually trying to find matches fans want to see, and even more importantly, they are making the matches matter. The matches feel like they are the important thing, and in two of the three feuds where this isn’t the case (MVP vs. Roode and Dixie vs. Bully, the focus is on the end goal of the angle; either Roode getting his revenge or Bully putting Dixie through a table, and the matches all feel like they are designed to build to that. This has not been the case in TNA for a VERY long time. Like… since Russo came in back in 2006. And it is a change that has immensely helped the show.
That being said, I think it is now time for TNA to take the next step. It’s not just the matches that need to matter, but their results, too. I don’t want to see any more title shots given out like Halloween Candy to anyone who happens to pass Kurt in the hallway. I want to see people WIN MATCHES TO EARN title shots, and I want to see people happy when they win and sad when they lose. I want the feeling that these wins are BUILDING TOWARDS SOMETHING. I need a reason to care from week to week.
STUPID ANNOUNCER QUOTES:
1. Tenay- “Another cheapshot low blow by MVP!”
A) THIS SI A FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE MATCH! IT’S TOTALLY LEGAL!
B) Can you really fault a one-legged man for resorting to such tactics?
C) You didn’t seem to have any objections when Roode hit MVP low about thirty seconds ago!
2. Tenay referred to Gail vs. Taryn as “one of the best rivalries in knockouts history.”
It was only TWO MATCHES! COME ON! Yeah, the matches were awesome, but that is such a ridiculous exaggeration that it isn’t even funny.
3. Taz- “I think Gail Kim’s body of work is something that’s pristine.”
What does this even mean? As near as I can tell this means that she either has never lost a match- which is clearly untrue- or that she has never botched anything, which I’m certain cannot be true.
FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE MATCH: Bobby Roode vs. MVP- 4.5/10
Is MVP running away really that big a factor that they needed to make this Falls Count Anywhere? He’s ON CRUTCHES for crying out loud!
The babyface is beating up a one-legged man being forced into this match by a babyface authority figure who was brought in because the previous two heel authority figures were abusing their power. The heel in question also owns the company… you’ve all heard me rant on this time and again. My issues with this feud still stand… but here’s a new one: from a pure match quality POV, A MAN ON CRUTCHES CAN’T DO MUCH!
Bobby Roode, the babyface, just THREW A CRIPPLED MAN DOWN THE STAIRS. This is actually getting uncomfortable for me to watch.
Kenny King interferes to protect MVP, then EY comes out and takes him out.
Watching this match made me gain a whole other level of respect for MVP for taking some of these bumps with his injury.
Well… Roode finally got his revenge, but they totally killed the moment by immediately cutting to a video package of last week’s main event.
DIXIE CARTER PROMO- good. She vows to be standing over Bully’s dead body at the end of the night.
JEFF HARDY PROMO- He says that we haven’t seen the end of Willow. This was met with boos. Maybe you should rethink that, Jeff.
Jeff then cut a promo to bring Matt out, and Matt cut a good promo saying that they want to go after the tag titles. Wolves vs. Hardys at BFG- Book it!
Or just do it next week on free TV with one month’s worth of build. (Actually, having the Hardys lose hear and then doing an angle where they build themselves up to face the Wolves again at BFG could be good).
They call out the Wolves, who just look so wrong wearing shirts and ties. Eddie said that if the Wolves want to be the best of all time, they need to beat the Hardys. Davey said he wanted to do the match next week.
AUSTIN ARIES PROMO- dumb and pointless. Why the f*ck would he possibly not cash in?
BRO-MANS SEGMENT- They got a surprisingly babyface reaction. Zema managed to get some cheap heat, though.
(Actual BRM quote while watching this): Huh. That music sounds familiar. OH F*CK! IT’S LOW KI!
LOW KI vs. ZEMA ION (w/the Bro-Mans)- no rating. Good ROH-style squash.
Low Ki appears to be wearing gear that he borrowed from MVP.
Apparently Gail vs. Taryn will be a Knockouts Title match. WHY? Taryn hasn’t earned anything yet! GRRR!
GUNNER HANGS OUT WITH HIS NEW BEST FRIEND SAM SHAW- They make a joke about New Yorkers being weird. Anderson then shows up and, in his own dickish way, asks Gunner to leave Shaw in the back for their tag match. Shaw says he will eventually earn Anderson’s trust. Anderson says that will never happen. A good segment.
DIXIELAND BACKSTAGE- Dixie introduces King Mo as her new pal. She told Rhino, Ethan and Spud that they had to take the babyfaces out tonight. Mo vowed to put Bully in the ICU.
BRAM & MAGNUS vs. KEN ANDERSON & GUNNER- 3.25/10
Tenay’s commentary really made me want to see a Bram vs. Gunner singles match if it was given decent time.
The match was extremely short and, surprisingly, had a clean finish with the heels going over. Bram went to beat Anderson down afterward the finish (and when I say after the finish, I mean right after the finish. He didn’t celebrate the win or anything; He just decided to go punch Anderson some more), and Gunner made the save.
It turned into a brawl and Bram hit Gunner with a low blow to get the advantage on him, then went to get the crowbar from under the ring. Shaw came out to protect Gunner and got beaten down with the crowbar in order to buy Gunner time to recover and fight back. Bram got some heat on Magus again, but then Abyss made the save. Tenay reminds us that Abyss is angry because Bram hit him with Janice to beat him in a Monster’s Ball a few weeks ago. I had totally forgotten this, and that is a BAD thing. Someone getting hit with Janice is not the sort of thing that you should ever allow a fan to forget.
Anyway, Abyss was so angry about being assaulted with a “sick” weapon that he punched Bram a few times and then was content to just stand in the ring and pose.
ECW GUYS BACKSTAGE- Bully says that he is losing sleep because he hasn’t yet kept his promise to put Dixie through a table. Good. Tommy said there is no one else he would rather team with. Devon said “Oh my brother. Testify.”
AUSTIN ARIES MAKES HIS DECISION-
I can appreciate that they tried to make it a big deal by giving it a video package and giving it the top of the hour slot, but COME ON! Everyone already knows what Aries will do, and doing anything else will make Aries look either silly or cowardly.
So Angle calls out Aries and makes a speech hyping up Option C. Aries says the same stuff he said in his earlier promo. Then MVP came out pointed out that Lashley was bigger and stronger than Aries, and that Lashley is a huge monster. He says that Aries isn’t dumb, and he should be smart enough to know that cashing in on Lashley would be a waste.
Aries cut a promo putting over himself and the X-Division. He said that he created Option C because he wanted to “leave a legacy” for the X-Division Title. Ironically, this has actually resulted in the title becoming pretty much worthless (which is really the fault of the writers, but the excuse to only focus on it once a year has been the reason that no effort has been put into the belt at all until June every year for the past two years).
Then he said something really wacky and dumb. He vowed that if he won, he would make a rule that essentially turned the X-Division Title into MITB, year-round.
1) This is idea is stupid on its own.
2) You already have Feast or Fired for that.
3) We all know that this will never happen, so they pretty much just told us that Aries won’t win.
I also didn’t like his talk about how he would “level the playing field” because Lashley has pretty much always won cleanly. I understand that they are building that fact up subtly, but having a babyface claim the reverse can only hurt both the babyface and Lashley’s eventual turn.
The idea of this segment wasn’t bad, but the build-up killed it. It would have made a lot more sense to first do a segment where MVP and Lashley come out and try to intimidate Aries. Then you can tease that maybe Aries won’t take the title shot before having him come out and cut this great promo and accept the match. That way there is at least some sense behind teasing that maybe Aries won’t take the title shot.
GAIL VS. TARYN VIDEO PACKAGE- GREAT!
The problem is that the whole time, they had “#OptionC” up in the corner of the screen. Shouldn’t they have had a hashtag to get people talking about this match, so people will get excited and tune in for it?
TNA KNOCKOUTS TITLE MATCH: Gail Kim(c) vs. Taryn Terrell- 4/10
Okay, this is driving me nuts. This right here is an honest to G-d money match (and if you don’t think it is a legit money match, you have to admit it is about as close as TNA has to one). They are giving it away FOR FREE with almost no build at all (I don’t think Taryn has even been mention on TV in a month). Taryn has been away for most of a year! That means EVERY SINGLE MATCH-UP FOR HER IS FRESH! Is it really that difficult to spent the summer having her go through the rest of the roster while Gail puts her over on commentary and build to a match at Bound For Glory? (This would also allow Taryn to work off the ring rust before the big match, because she was pretty bad in her first match back, and wasn’t much better here, either).
To further cement how unimportant this match looked, Taz and Tenay spent Taryn’s entire entrance hyping up the two title matches on next week’s show. After about a minute of actually talking about this big match, Taz and Teany started hype up other things instead. One of these was that Muta would be here tonight (especially the damn streetfight). I think this might be the first time this has been mentioned all night. This should have gotten MAJOR hype.
While they were hyping up the streetfight, Gail and Taryn did a spot where Taryn wen to the top rope, but Gail cut her off and gave her a super cravate suplex or something along those lines. Then, once he was done talking about the streetfight about five seconds later, Tenay said “Taryn Terrell goes high-risk, and it does not pay off because of what Gail Kim just did.” Tenay is he f*cking PLAY-BY-PLAY announcer, and his nickname is “the professor.” Between waiting until he was done with his plug to call anything at all, the audio quality, and the fact that he gave such pathetic call like “because of what Gail Kim just did,” I really got the feeling that the commentary was done later on in a production facility (as opposed to live like TNA claims), and that Mike honestly did not see the spot because he was looking down at a script to read his plug, and he didn’t even care enough about the match to rewind the damn tape so he could at least SEE what happened and call it even remotely competently. All of this just made me not give a sh*t about what is both a HUGE rematch and Knockouts Title match. I have never had the commentary so take me out of a match before.
Luckily for me, the Beautiful People came out and caused a DQ, so at least the match is saved. Then they beat down the babyfaces. Tenay complains that TBP ruined this match which he claimed was so “terrific” and yet he seemed to barely be paying attention at all.
MUTA WILL BE OUT NEXT- that’s strange. I could have word that Tenay said the streetfight was up next. But it’s not like hey had time to fix this goof, right?
DIXIE CARTER IS SPIED ON- she has more people as back-up tonight. Oooh! A mystery! Speaking of mysteries, why has this cameraman not been fired for spying on one of the owners of the company?
MUTA COMES OUT- Tenay’s voice-over really drowned out the crowd, which seemed very hot for Muta, which was a shame. Also, someone really needs to explain to Tenay that you can’t refer to Japan as “the Orient” anymore. It’s like calling a black person “colored.” Has he just not noticed that no one has used that term in about thirty years?
Robbie E comes out and complains that he didn’t get a “grand entrance.” He challenges Muta to a match.
THE GREAT MUTA vs. ROBBIE E- eh.
Robbie takes it to Muta, then shoves Hebner purely for the sake of having a ref bump so that Muta could spray the mist. This led to Muta’s comeback and picking up the quick win. Was the ref-bump and the mist really necessary? I get that people like the mist, but it is technically cheating (hence the need for the ref bump), and the total lack of a shine made it seem like Robbie would have won if Muta hadn’t cheated. Why not all of the Bro-Mans come out, then have Muta beat Robbie clean and have the other two attack Muta after the match so that Muta can use the mist legally?
POST-MATCH SEGMENT- GREAT!
James Storm comes out and calls Muta “the great fraud.” Good one, James!
He then gets down to real insults, calling Muta a washed-up has been. He then says he is annoyed that Muta is coming in and trying to steal the spotlight in the company he helped build. Storm then said that in Tennessee, they don’t spit mist. He then took a swig of his beer and spit that in Muta’s face. Storm started to beat Muta down. Yasu tried to make the save. He failed, but at least Mike Tenay succeeded in saying “Japan” instead of “the Orient.”
Sanada then chased Storm off with a chair. Sanada checked on Muta. Muta got up and started angrily yelling at Storm, who was still on the ramp. Muta even sprayed red mist into the air.
Then Sanada hit Muta from behind with the chair. This got a HUGE reaction. Unfortunately for us at home, because of the position of the hardcam, we saw Sanada get behind Muta and hit him with the chair, kind of killing the surprise (although the shot of things with James Storm in the foreground watching his handiwork and nodding was kind of cool).
Sanada started to put the boots to Muta. Yasu tried to make the save, but Sanada spat red mist into his eyes (I’d have preferred it if he just took him out with a wrestling move). Sanada then hit Muta with a Moonsault, and Taz did a great job of getting over the important of that. Sanada then gave Storm a brief bow and they left together.
This segment has received some criticism, and I’d like to deal with the two major arguments against it right now. The first is the clam that it came off like a rip-off of Seth Rollins’ turn on the Shield. To that I say that the set-up is so general that you really can’t apply that criticism. The only similarities are one guy turning on someone by hitting him in the back with a chair. This is not like EY winning the title, which was such a shameless rip-off of Daniel Bryan that you wonder they thought it was a good idea in the first place (especially when they would have made a lot more money doing the title change on PPV two weeks later). This set-up is nothing new in wrestling.
The second criticism I have heard this segment receive is that it was a trademark non-sensical Russo swerve, which is done just for the sake of having a swerve. Take the example of Lashley joining MVP’s faction: If all Lashley, MVP, and Kenny King wanted to do was beat down EY, what was the purpose of Lashley pretending to be making the save for EY and having MVP and Kenny pretend to be afraid when Lashley came out? There was no logical kayfabe reason behind it. It was just done for the purpose of “fooling” the fans. A swerve for the sake of a swerve.
This segment might seem very similar on the surface. After all, how is Sanada coming out to save Muta, only to then attack him and leave with Storm any different than what Lashley did? The answer is that I don’t think Sanada came out here with the intention of turning on Muta. I think he meant to save him when he did.
Then, while Sanada was checking on Muta, Storm shouted “YOU AIN’T NO LEGEND!” and I think this clicked with Sanada. After all, Muta just had some trouble beating up a clown like Robbie E. and then easily got his ass kicked by Storm. He needed Sanada to save him… and then Storm’s earlier words started to make sense to Sanada. Maybe Muta really is just a washed-up has-been, trying to live vicariously through Sanada’s success in TNA because he can’t do it on his own anymore. Compare that to the other legends who Sanada has seen in TNA: Kurt Angle fights his own battles. So did Sting. Team 3-D are about to go out and do so in the next match. They don’t need to live vicariously through anyone. (And if we wanted to really get in-depth: look at guys like Rikidozan, Kobashi, Misawa, Sasaki, and Akiyama. They kept going on their own at full steam- even when in the cases of Rikidozan, Kobashi, and Sasaki, when they had extremely successful proteges of their own).
Am I reading too much into this? Maybe (especially the puro part- I doubt that whoever came up with this knows much of anything about puro). But hey… nothing has told me that this is untrue, and it lines up with the facts, so I’ll hold out hope.
HYPE FOR DESTINATION X- good.
JB INTERVIEWS DIXIE & MO- THIS is where Dixie got seats? Really? It’s not like Hammerstein where the small side balconies are like your own private boxes with awesome views! Maybe this is Dixie showing she is afraid of Bully, so she is upstairs where he can’ get her. Then again, that would bury by King Mo and whoever else Dixie is bringing in.
STREET FIGHT: Bully Ray, Devon, & Tommy Dreamer vs. Rhino, Ethan Carter III, & Rockstar Spud- 4/10
Didn’t Devon lose a match where he had to leave TNA forever? Like… less than a year ago?
EC III has taped rips from being put through a table last week… so we have three fully-healthy babyfaces known for their acumen in weapons matches taking on Rhino, and injured EC III, and the completely pathetic chump that is Spud (he was having trouble carrying a trashcan full of weapons). This seems horribly unfair.
Bully Ray grated EC III’s chest with a cheese grater. EC III did not bleed at all, nor did he even appear to have any scratches on him at all. You know, I’m beginning to think that none of this is real. And I mean REALLY?! Why would you do a spot like that, especially this early in the match? It won’t get any more of a reaction than any other weapon-shot, but it will expose the match. And if you do think it would get more of a reaction than any other weapon, why would you do it this early in the match?
We got a bunch of weapon-spots to the head, and many of them looked hokey, like the guy taking it stopped moving and allowed the other guy to hit him in the head. It would have actually looked a lot better if the guys had at least tried to get their hands up.
The babyfaces pretty much destroyed the heels, and as I noted before, this wasn’t enjoyable because it felt completely unfair to the heels (especially when you add in the fact that we just saw EC III get put through a table last week). Then a large man in a hoody reached over the guardrail to attack Devon. Security showed up to yell at him, but Bully attacked him and pulled him over the guardrail. Tenay wondered who this man was, and Taz soon shouted “I KNOW WHO THAT IS!” Then he proceeded to keep this man’s identity to himself. Good work there, Taz.
You’d think that taking Devon out like this would lead to the heat or something logical like that, but Dreamer beat up both Spud and Ethan on his own. Then another large man in a hoodie attacked. Taz also apparently knew who this man was, as he the stuttered around for a name before telling us “he used to go by Ezekiel. Big Zeke.” I absolutely HATE that they do this. I understand that they can’t call him “Ezekiel Jackson,” but then why bring the name up at all? Why not just say “That’s RYCKLON STEPHENS! He is a former multi-time champion! He’s a bad dude!” People will either know who Rycklon Stephens is, or (more likely) they’ll go google him to see who this new dude is and what titles he has won. Either way, you have done your job, and you don’t sound stupid by telling us who someone used to be.
Anyway, he took Tommy out, allowing EC III to give him the One-Percenter on a chair for the win. I still have no idea what happened to Bully and the other guy, who were last seen brawling on the floor.
Dixie and Mo showed up, and Dixie ordered security to release the first large man (they didn’t even try to go after FKA Ezekiel). Bully was nowhere to be found, so we still don’t know what happened to him. Taz finally identified the first man as Snitsky. First Devon and then Bully rolled into the ring to get beatdowns. Snitsky gave Bully an AWESOME chokeslam.
As a match, this wasn’t good, but it made for a decent angle. Does anyone really care about Gene Snitsky and the artist formerly know as Ezekiel Jackson? No. They won’t affect buys or ratings or anything, but they came off as bad dudes who were threats to our heroes, and that was what was called for here.
An okay show from TNA. They did some good stuff, they did some bad stuff, they did some eh stuff. There was a lot of stuff that felt like set-up; almost like this was a go-home show (which it was). To be honest, my biggest complaint (well… aside from babyfaces doing terrible things) was the announcing. The audio problems with Tenay’s post- produced commentary are extremely apparent. They couldn’t have fixed this in the past month?
There is one more thing I would like to comment on, though: During Gail’s entrance, Tenay put over how great things have been since Kurt Angle became director of wrestling operations. One of the things he put Kurt oer for was bringing back the six-sided ring… which was a decision made by the fans, in a poll that started before Kurt got kayfabe power. That good aside, I actually felt that the rest of what Mike said was very true (and I can’t even remember the last time I agreed with Tenay’s hype of how something has “changed the landscape of TNA” whatever standard phrase he likes to use).
Tenay said that since Kurt had taken over, there was a “focus on in-ring competition” and on “making great matches.” This has been almost completely true. I finally feel like TNA is actually trying to find matches fans want to see, and even more importantly, they are making the matches matter. The matches feel like they are the important thing, and in two of the three feuds where this isn’t the case (MVP vs. Roode and Dixie vs. Bully, the focus is on the end goal of the angle; either Roode getting his revenge or Bully putting Dixie through a table, and the matches all feel like they are designed to build to that. This has not been the case in TNA for a VERY long time. Like… since Russo came in back in 2006. And it is a change that has immensely helped the show.
That being said, I think it is now time for TNA to take the next step. It’s not just the matches that need to matter, but their results, too. I don’t want to see any more title shots given out like Halloween Candy to anyone who happens to pass Kurt in the hallway. I want to see people WIN MATCHES TO EARN title shots, and I want to see people happy when they win and sad when they lose. I want the feeling that these wins are BUILDING TOWARDS SOMETHING. I need a reason to care from week to week.
STUPID ANNOUNCER QUOTES:
1. Tenay- “Another cheapshot low blow by MVP!”
A) THIS SI A FALLS COUNT ANYWHERE MATCH! IT’S TOTALLY LEGAL!
B) Can you really fault a one-legged man for resorting to such tactics?
C) You didn’t seem to have any objections when Roode hit MVP low about thirty seconds ago!
2. Tenay referred to Gail vs. Taryn as “one of the best rivalries in knockouts history.”
It was only TWO MATCHES! COME ON! Yeah, the matches were awesome, but that is such a ridiculous exaggeration that it isn’t even funny.
3. Taz- “I think Gail Kim’s body of work is something that’s pristine.”
What does this even mean? As near as I can tell this means that she either has never lost a match- which is clearly untrue- or that she has never botched anything, which I’m certain cannot be true.