BRM Reviews the 6/26/2014 (FIRE THESE WRITERS!)

[Big Red Machine]

The "tune in next" commercial asked "can Bobby Roode and Eric Young stop MVP from destroying Impact Wrestling?"
WHAT?! Why does MVP want to destroy the show? His guy just won the world title! And wouldn't destroying the show that he invested a bunch of money in wind up costing him a lot of money?

MVP & PALS WALK DOWN A HALLWAY- they are going to have a party tonight. It really doesn't seem like they want to destroy the show.

THE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE vs. TARYN TERRELL & GAIL KIM- 2.25/10
Taryn looked like she got blown up very quickly. Taz and Tenay's pointless bickering was horribly annoying. Particularly on Tenay's end. No, Mike. Taz never said the words "adrenaline rush" and it really doesn't have much to do with not being in ring shape cardiovascularly.
They just brought Taryn Terrell back with a lot of hype... so of course they have GAIL pin the champion.

MVP & PALS BACKSTAGE AGAIN- once again, they do nothing important and nothing entertaining.

COMMERCIAL FOR BFG IN JAPAN- good, I guess... but they really should have announced the time the show will be airing in the US as well, because I think that is what most American and Canadian fans want to know.

DIXIE & ATLAS SECURITY BACKSTAGE- apparently it will be "a very good night to be Dixie Carter." I'm just concerned it will be a bad night to be someone watching Impact.

MVP & PALS CELEBRATE- possibly an all-time low in self-contradiction and sh*t making no sense.
Shouldn't they have done this in one of the big timeslots like the main event or the top of the hour?
All they had for this celebration was some champagne. No food. No fancy red carpet for the ring. Isn't MVP supposed to be rich? Was this really all he could afford?
MVP: It's official. I have regained my power as Director of Wrestling Operations because Lashley is the TNA World Heavyweight Champion!"

WHAT?! HOW DOES THIS MAKE ANY F*CKING SENSE AT ALL? When both Magnus and Eric Young were champions, MVP, as Director of Wrestling Operations, could f*ck with them however he wanted! You know... like on LAST WEEK'S SHOW, which contained THE VERY TITLE VICTORY WHICH THIS PARTY IS CELEBRATING, when he MADE EY DEFEND THE BELT TWICE IN ONE NIGHT AND KICKED EVERYONE OUT OF THE BUILDING. Do these idiots put even the tiniest amount of thought into this show?

MVP then says he will put EY through so much crap tonight that he will be begging for his release. EY then came out and cut a promo saying he is going to beat them up. He then took his arm out of the sling it was in, and got his ass kicked. This made EY look stupid, not brave.
Bobby Roode jumped the guardrail and saved EY. You'll recall that he did exactly the same thing on last week's show. Apparently the simple solution of "get some ringside security" did not occur to MVP. After a commercial break, Bobby Roode cut a promo. Meanwhile, EY stood there NOT SELLING HIS SHOULDER AT ALL! WHAT THE F*CK?! It was injured enough to be in a sling... then it got attacked by three dangerous men... and now it's all better? Did I miss Randy Savage coming down from heaven and landing his famous "reviving elbow drop" on EY?
Roode's promo was okay. His passion was good, but it was just really cliche. He and EY are going to fight for the love of pro wresting and restore honor to their promotion and they're doing it for all of the fans and for all of the wrestlers who work hard and blah blah blah. He also said that he and EY had two common bonds... apparently Team Canada, in which they were NWA World Tag Team Champions together, was not one of them. Throughout this whole speech, no one tried to remove the suspended man from the arena. What type of bullsh*t suspension is this?
Roode dared MVP to fire him... so MVP was going to do it. Then some guy no one had ever seen before came out and told us that his name was "Earl Sullivan Armstrong" and that he represented TNA's Board of Directors. He said that MVP was no longer Director of Wrestling Operations... and that the his replacement would be here shortly to "pick up the pieces of this wretched and utter mess you've left behind."
A few things here:
1. "This wretched and utter mess you've left behind." So the BOARD OF DIRECTORS thinks that TNA sucks right now? That's a great thing to tell everyone.
2. TNA is not a publicly traded company. MVP owns half of it (or something). Even if he is stripped of the title of "Director of Wresting Operations," how does that cause him to lose power?
3. Why is the TNA Board of Directors only acting now? Have they not been watching the show since MVP turned heel?
4. If they can remove an owner from power, why did they not act when Dixie was running wild? Or Immortal?
5. They planned to replace MVP as Director of Wrestling Operations, and they had a replacement all lined up... but they didn't make sure the replacement was at the show on time?
6. If the Board of Directors can just replace MVP as Director of Wrestling Operations, doesn't it make MVP's initial statement about the World Title entirely pointless/wrong?
7. If the World Title gives MVP the "power" he was seeking, why did Lashley not use this power to intervene on MVP's behalf? Didn't MVP tell us that there is no power in being a corporate suit, but that "the real power" was in the world title?

It was then established that because he is no longer Director of Wrestling Operations, MVP could not suspend or fire Roode. Didn't Dixie suspend Jeff Hardy this winter?
Upon learning that MVP could not punish him, Bobby Roode then assaulted MVP, who is still on crutches. Again... A TOP BABYFACE ASSAULTED A PHYSICALLY HANDICAPPED MAN!

At this point, this whole story is so full of plot-holes that it is just a bunch of shreds of paper on the floor.

MENAGERIE BACKSTAGE-
Knux gets off the phone with someone who is angry that he hasn't been paid yet. Knux tells his pals that they need to get the money or else their carnival will get repossessed. He says that in order to make money in wrestling, you need to be a champion. Why can't you just win matches normally? Sure you get more money for being the champion, but you still do get some money for winning (and probably even for just competing). He chews Crazzy Steve out for not winning the X-Division Title at Slammiversary. If they had done something like this before the PPV, it would have given people a reason to care about Steve in the X-Division Title match. Instead, they decided to do it afterwards. FAIL!
Knux instructs Steve to go out there tonight and challenge Sanada. Bro-Mans and Manik show up and say that they deserve the X-Division Title shot instead. Then Tenay asks "who will get the X-Division Title shot against Sanada? We'll find out next!"
So there is an X-Division Title match on tonight's show... and they didn't even advertise it?

DIXIE & SPUD BACKSTAGE- Apparently Dixie convinced the board to remove MVP from his job. Spud reasons that Dixie must be the person in line for the job. Dixie asks "who else could it be?" Apparently they both suck at paying attention, because the dude said that MVP's replacement wasn't here yet... but Dixie was already in the building when he said this.


WHO GETS AN X-DIVISION TITLE MATCH?
Sanada just decided to give them all a title match. My question is "why were Manik and Steve even in consideration?" THEY JUST LOST A TITLE MATCH ELEVEN DAYS AGO, AND HAVEN'T BEEN ON TV SINCE!

TNA X-DIVISION TITLE MATCH: Sanada(c) vs. Crazzy Steve vs. Zema Ion vs. Manik- 3/10
They took turns doing spots. Like a less impressive version of those early ROH scramble matches.
Tenay explained that Sanada was allowed to book his own match because "no one is in charge." This not only doesn't make sense because Dixie and MVP are both there and both OWN THE COMPANY, but it also makes the Board of Directors look like idiots for not designating someone to be in charge until the replacement shows up.

MVP & PALS BACKSTAGE- Kenny King asks "was that guy Dixie's lawyer?" He, too, sucks at paying attention. MVP devises that this is a scheme of Dixie's.

MAGNUS & BRAM PROMO- AWESOME!

WHO IS THE NEW DIRECTOR OF WRESTING OPERATIONS-
Dixie throws a party for herself because she thinks it will be her. She calls out the lawyer to thank him. He tells her the new Director of Wrestling Operations is... NOT HERE YET. That was annoying. Dixie rants and raves that she should have control because she owns the company... which makes a lot of sense.
Bully Ray then comes out. Rather than RUN AWAY like a normal person would, Spud and Dixie decided to just cower in the corner of the ring. Rather than just make good on what he has been promising for months now, and put Dixie through a table, Bully decides to monologue first and describe what he is going to do, just like a supervillain.
Dixie starts to beg and offers Bully a lot of money to not put her through a table. Why would she do this? Does she not remember what happened the last time she paid Bully money in exchange for something? She must, because SHE MENTIONED IT IN HER F*CKING PROMO DURING THIS SEGMENT!
After about a million years, EC III came out to help Dixie, but he got beaten up easily. Bully wasted a million years playing to the crowd, which allowed Spud to rescue Dixie. In other words, Bully did not get his revenge because because he was being a jerk and milking the crowd. After we got back from commercial, Bully had the audacity to cut a promo vowing to not rest until he fulfills his vow to put Dixie through a table.
Also, with the number of times we have been told that man-on-woman violence is not allowed on SPIKE TV, you'd think that the Board of Directors guy would want to stop this so that they don't get fined or thrown off the air or something.

MR. ANDERSON vs. JAMES STORM- 4/10
Really short, but REALLY good. Storm won clean, which was strange. Hopefully that means this feud is over.

GUNNER & SAM SHAW IN THE MENTAL HOSPITAL- Gunner tells Shaw that the doctors have decided to release Samuel back into the world, but only into Gunner's supervision.

JAMES STORM & SANADA BACKSTAGE- Storm talks to Sanada and hypes up Option C. He tries to psych Sanada out by asking "what happens if you choke?" This was a very strange interaction. This spot really feels like it should have gone to Austin Aries.

TOMMY DREAMER JUMPS EC III FROM BEHIND- like a coward.
Security made no effort to break this up, which is even more baffling when you consider the fact that EC III is a TNA employee and TOMMY IS NOT. This went on FOREVER before Al Snow and two referees came out to break it up.

ABYSS & WILLOW PROMO- this would have been great if they were supposed to be crazy dangerous heels.

MVP & PALS ACCOST THE LIMO OF THE NEW DIRECTOR OF WRESTLING OPERATIONS- did they really think that this guy would show up and then NOT go start his new job right away?

MONSTER'S BALL: Bram & Magnus vs. Abyss & Willow- 7/10
They did stuff. The babyfaces had two trashcans full of weapons and tossed them all in the ring where the heels were down selling. Then the babyfaces got into the ring... and wouldn't you know it, the heels hit them with the weapons. This made the babyfaces looks like idiots.
They did more stuff. Then Abyss got handcuffed to the guardrail, but he managed to break free. After that, the craziness started, with lots of very hardcore stuff, ending when Bram hit Abyss with Janice.

WHO IS THE NEW DIRECTOR OF WRESTLING OPERATIONS FOR REAL THIS TIME- It's Kurt Angle.
Kurt says he has no agendas. So.. how long do we think it will take before Kurt turns heel, too?
MVP & Pals come out. Kurt informs MVP that Kurt is now MVP's boss. HOW?! MVP OWNS THE COMPANY!
MVP & Pals surround Kurt. MVP asks if Kurt thinks he can really tell them what to do. Kurt threatens to fire them all, including MVP, who owns the company, and Bobby Lashley, holder of the TNA World Heavyweight Title, which supposedly gives you so much power. Kurt then books Lashley vs. EY for the TNA World Heavyweight Title next week. He also announces that he has reinstated Bobby Roode.
Roode and EY come out. EY's arm is in a sling. He takes the sling off, and they charge the ring, and a brawl breaks out.

This show SUCKED. It's the same old TNA with a complete and total inability to think anything through or remember anything they have written before. This whole power struggle that they started at the end of January... a mere FIVE MONTHS AGO, has easily become the most convoluted, illogical, self-contradicting storyline I can remember. And these idiots wonder why they can't sell out 850 seats in their debut in NEW YORK CITY despite all of their big stars and the top indy talent they've recruited.

[Nic/Phreak]

maybe the World belt is like when He-man powers up "I HAVE THE POWER!!!"

anyways like Ive been saying...you have to watch TNA with the mindset of a two year old mentally challanged child, that has the memory of a ADHD riddled Goldfish

[Big Red Machine]

maybe the World belt is like when He-man powers up "I HAVE THE POWER!!!"

anyways like Ive been saying...you have to watch TNA with the mindset of a two year old mentally challanged child, that has the memory of a ADHD riddled Goldfish

I'm pretty sure a mentally challenged two year old with the memory of an ADHD riddled goldfish would still notice some of these things.

[cero2k]

THE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE vs. TARYN TERRELL & GAIL KIM- 2.25/10
Taryn looked like she got blown up very quickly. Taz and Tenay's pointless bickering was horribly annoying. Particularly on Tenay's end. No, Mike. Taz never said the words "adrenaline rush" and it really doesn't have much to do with not being in ring shape cardiovascularly.
They just brought Taryn Terrell back with a lot of hype... so of course they have GAIL pin the champion.

because the feud is Gail vs Angelina. Taryn came back to back up Gail against Velvet. No reason whatsoever for Taryn to pin the champion.

MVP & PALS BACKSTAGE AGAIN- once again, they do nothing important and nothing entertaining.

say for yourself, i love these guys

COMMERCIAL FOR BFG IN JAPAN- good, I guess... but they really should have announced the time the show will be airing in the US as well, because I think that is what most American and Canadian fans want to know.

it's in October, do we really need to know that right now?

DIXIE & ATLAS SECURITY BACKSTAGE- apparently it will be "a very good night to be Dixie Carter." I'm just concerned it will be a bad night to be someone watching Impact.

not me

MVP & PALS CELEBRATE- possibly an all-time low in self-contradiction and sh*t making no sense.
Shouldn't they have done this in one of the big timeslots like the main event or the top of the hour?
ALl they had for this celebration was some champagne. No food. No fancy red carper for the ring. Isn't MVP supposed to be rich? Was this really all he could afford?

are you honestly criticizing the props they used for a segment? Hell by those standards, why is WWE booking MSG for a private party everytime a heel champion celebrates?

At this point, this whole story is so full of plot-holes that it is just a bunch of shreds of paper on the floor.

#StillBetterThanRAW i quit dude, we're just gonna disagree on everything on this show, i thought it was a good entertaining show.

[Bulletclubfan2014]

I actually agree that this show sucks but I'll also admit that I'm not a fan of storylines much and can't get into any wrestling shows that don't have at least 30 minutes of wrestling for each hour they're on so basically ROH is the only wrestling show I enjoy so don't take my opinion too much

[Big Red Machine]

THE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE vs. TARYN TERRELL & GAIL KIM- 2.25/10
Taryn looked like she got blown up very quickly. Taz and Tenay's pointless bickering was horribly annoying. Particularly on Tenay's end. No, Mike. Taz never said the words "adrenaline rush" and it really doesn't have much to do with not being in ring shape cardiovascularly.
They just brought Taryn Terrell back with a lot of hype... so of course they have GAIL pin the champion.

because the feud is Gail vs Angelina. Taryn came back to back up Gail against Velvet. No reason whatsoever for Taryn to pin the champion.

We JUST saw Gail get a title shot and fail. Why would they not go in a different direction (and Gail can gain a measure of revenge on TBP by preventing Velvet from interfering when Taryn beats Angelina in the resulting title match. (If I were booking it, I'd actually have gone in a totally different direction and have TBP feud with ODB or someone for a bit while Gail and Taryn have their own undercard feud. Have the winner of that feud lose a title match to TBP, then have the loser of that feud earn a title match and win because the winner prevented Velvet from interfering, then you go back to Gail and Taryn, but this time for the title.

COMMERCIAL FOR BFG IN JAPAN- good, I guess... but they really should have announced the time the show will be airing in the US as well, because I think that is what most American and Canadian fans want to know.

it's in October, do we really need to know that right now?

That's the big question, so yes. It's a Sunday during football and hockey (and possibly the very beginning of basketball season, too). The timing of this show will affect whatever plans I may have to go to a game, which I need to act as quickly as possible to get tickets for.

MVP & PALS CELEBRATE- possibly an all-time low in self-contradiction and sh*t making no sense.
Shouldn't they have done this in one of the big timeslots like the main event or the top of the hour?
ALl they had for this celebration was some champagne. No food. No fancy red carper for the ring. Isn't MVP supposed to be rich? Was this really all he could afford?

are you honestly criticizing the props they used for a segment? Hell by those standards, why is WWE booking MSG for a private party everytime a heel champion celebrates?

Yes, I am criticizing the props they used because they were SO DAMN LAME. This is supposed to be a big company, and the guy throwing the party is kayfabe super-rich. This looked cheap and low-rent.
And heels throw parties on live TV in the ring because they want to show it off to the world and rub it in all of our faces.

At this point, this whole story is so full of plot-holes that it is just a bunch of shreds of paper on the floor.

#StillBetterThanRAW i quit dude, we're just gonna disagree on everything on this show, i thought it was a good entertaining show.

Surely you jest! I have no problem admitting that Raw wasn't very good, but a lot of that was because they were rushing hype for two matches which it is really hard to hype up in a way that doesn't feel boring and repetitive.
Impact, on the other hand, was bad because NOTHING MADE SENSE. This is not an angle they are rushing because the champ got hurt. This is their grand plan of an angle with a big power struggle... AND IT MAKES NO SENSE AT ALL IN ANY WAY. This is the sort of thing that I find offensively bad. When you don't even take the time to make sure that your segments INTERNALLY CONSISTENT, never mind consistent with the rest of the angle!

[KILLdozer]

I've read A LOT of spoilers lately.

There's a lot of stuff in this spoiler, feel it's worth saying.

Hidden text.

Zeke Jackson and Snitsky join Dixie's side....Rhyno returns and turns heel. D-Von makes a , guess you could call it-Return to the ring, on Ray and Tommy's side. I'm trying to remember the fourth man against ECIII, Rhyno, Snitsky, and Jackson Good news is, somewhat...Dixe does fall through a table-which ends the dreaded "OH I'M GONNA PUT DIXIE CARTER THROUGH A TABLE GOT DANG!" repetitive "storyline". I, like Nic/Phreak, also don't recieve Spike any more...but it seems that's literally all he's been doing and saying. Dest. X- Aries again hits Option C after winning the belt only to lose to Lashley, Snitsky and Jackson( Or whatever-his name was changed.), were sent packing by Dixie the same night basically for losing. I honestly can't remember much else of anything eventful or that jumps out at me right now.

[Bulletclubfan2014]

KILLdozer if Dixie's not in a wheelchair for a year now then she's hurt the storyline as a whole

[Big Red Machine]

I've read A LOT of spoilers lately.

There's a lot of stuff in this spoiler, feel it's worth saying.

Hidden text.

Zeke Jackson and Snitsky join Dixie's side....Rhyno returns and turns heel. D-Von makes a , guess you could call it-Return to the ring, on Ray and Tommy's side. I'm trying to remember the fourth man against ECIII, Rhyno, Snitsky, and Jackson Good news is, somewhat...Dixe does fall through a table-which ends the dreaded "OH I'M GONNA PUT DIXIE CARTER THROUGH A TABLE GOT DANG!" repetitive "storyline". I, like Nic/Phreak, also don't recieve Spike any more...but it seems that's literally all he's been doing and saying. Dest. X- Aries again hits Option C after winning the belt only to lose to Lashley, Snitsky and Jackson( Or whatever-his name was changed.), were sent packing by Dixie the same night basically for losing. I honestly can't remember much else of anything eventful or that jumps out at me right now.

Hidden text.

Yeah I've heard most of this, and I can't believe they are doing the Dixie thing on free TV. THAT is the sort of thing that you save for BFG! I'm also, of course, wondering i Spike will even let them show it. While it was repetitive, they could have stretched it out until BFG if they had kept him going after both Dixie's faction and MVP's. That's about twelve guys and they have about sixteen weeks between Slammiversary and BFG. They could have had Bully taking guys out the whole way, one every few weeks, until he finally got to Dixie at BFG.