BRM Reviews the 6/2/2014 Raw
Posted: Jun 5th, '14, 19:39
OPENING SEGMENT- great stuff. I particularly enjoyed the crowd popping for Batista quitting.
SHEAMUS & ROB VAN DAM vs. BAD NEWS BARRETT & CESARO (w/Paul Heyman)- 6.25/10
Match was good for a while, then Cesaro & Heyman walk out on Wade, allowing the babyfaces to win 2-on-1.
SANDOW PROMO- He comes out as Lance Stephenson, and made fun on Indiana. It was funny, although you've to love how that whole "Sandow as a disgruntled employee" thing and have him go right back to doing silly impressions. The Big Show came out and humiliated Sandow by being a dick, doing nothing for anyone.
BO DALLAS vs. KOFI KINGSTON- 2.75/10
Bo also made fun of the Pacers for losing to Lebron and the Heat. They shouldn't have done this two segments in a row. I popped for the Bo Leave! sign. W also got some Bo-ring! chants. The match was okay, but the finish looked like crap.
STEPH MAKES AN ANNOUNCEMENT-
The Dragon & Brie parts of her promo were good. Sh then said that if Dragon is healthy at MITB, he will defend against Kane in a Stretcher match. If he can't, the MITB will become a title match. Then Cena came out and they had a good segment that both put Bryan over and moved Cena into direct opposition to the Authority. I popped for the one-night-only return of the Steph's boob-job jokes. Steph books Cena vs. Kane for right now.
KANE vs. CENA- 3.75/10
Cena wins by DQ when Kane won't stop beating him up in the corner. Kane continues to attack Cena... but the Cena makes a come back and beats Kane up. WHY WOULD YOU BEAT YOUR BIG SCARY MONSTER THIS SOON?!
RENEE YOUNG INTERVIEWS RANDY ORTON- Randy says that he and Hunter are still on the same page, and he will wrestle Roman Reigns tonight.
LOS MATADORES (w/El Torito) vs. DREW MCINTYRE & HEATH SLATER (w/Jinder Mahal & Hornswoggle)- no rating. Decent segment
Hornswoggle now has an afro. Torito rips it off, revealing it to be a wig. Hornswoggle ran to the back in shame. This also resulted in Slater becoming distracted and getting rolled up.
HANDICAP MACH: Nikki Bella vs. Fox-ana- no rating. GREAT segment.
Fox is an awesome heel. The way she dropped Nikki out of the ring looked like it hurt like a mtherf*cker.
LUKE HARPER PROMO- awesome.
ZEB COULTER PROMO- good
ADAM ROSE vs. JACK SWAGGER(w/Zeb Coulter)- 3/10
JBL accurate described this match as "Randy Couture vs. Bozo the Clown." Speaking of clowns, the Exotic Express appears to have picked one up.
There is a guy with a "Gunner 3:16" sign. I hope he got a flat tire on the way home.
USOS PROMO- very good.
THE USOS vs. LUKE HARPER & ERICK ROWAN- 6.75/10
MONEY IN THE BANK QUALIFYING MATCH: Alberto Del Rio vs. Dolph Ziggler- 6.5/10
RYB-AXEL vs. SIN CARA & GOLDUST- 4/10
Cody hand-picked Cara to be Goldust's partner. Shouldn't he have picked someone who actually wins matches?
HERO OF THE RUSSIAN FEDERATION CEREMONY FOR RUSEV- I enjoyed this, but I can understand other winking it was boring.
TRENT RICHARDSON IS IN THE BUILDING- his kid looks TERRIFIED.
SHIELD PROMOS- all great
RANDY ORTON (w/Triple H) vs. ROMAN REIGNS (w/the Shield)-
WHAT THE F*CK?!
NO! STOP! SETH, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! STOP HITTING DEAN AND ROMAN?! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!
SHEAMUS & ROB VAN DAM vs. BAD NEWS BARRETT & CESARO (w/Paul Heyman)- 6.25/10
Match was good for a while, then Cesaro & Heyman walk out on Wade, allowing the babyfaces to win 2-on-1.
SANDOW PROMO- He comes out as Lance Stephenson, and made fun on Indiana. It was funny, although you've to love how that whole "Sandow as a disgruntled employee" thing and have him go right back to doing silly impressions. The Big Show came out and humiliated Sandow by being a dick, doing nothing for anyone.
BO DALLAS vs. KOFI KINGSTON- 2.75/10
Bo also made fun of the Pacers for losing to Lebron and the Heat. They shouldn't have done this two segments in a row. I popped for the Bo Leave! sign. W also got some Bo-ring! chants. The match was okay, but the finish looked like crap.
STEPH MAKES AN ANNOUNCEMENT-
The Dragon & Brie parts of her promo were good. Sh then said that if Dragon is healthy at MITB, he will defend against Kane in a Stretcher match. If he can't, the MITB will become a title match. Then Cena came out and they had a good segment that both put Bryan over and moved Cena into direct opposition to the Authority. I popped for the one-night-only return of the Steph's boob-job jokes. Steph books Cena vs. Kane for right now.
KANE vs. CENA- 3.75/10
Cena wins by DQ when Kane won't stop beating him up in the corner. Kane continues to attack Cena... but the Cena makes a come back and beats Kane up. WHY WOULD YOU BEAT YOUR BIG SCARY MONSTER THIS SOON?!
RENEE YOUNG INTERVIEWS RANDY ORTON- Randy says that he and Hunter are still on the same page, and he will wrestle Roman Reigns tonight.
LOS MATADORES (w/El Torito) vs. DREW MCINTYRE & HEATH SLATER (w/Jinder Mahal & Hornswoggle)- no rating. Decent segment
Hornswoggle now has an afro. Torito rips it off, revealing it to be a wig. Hornswoggle ran to the back in shame. This also resulted in Slater becoming distracted and getting rolled up.
HANDICAP MACH: Nikki Bella vs. Fox-ana- no rating. GREAT segment.
Fox is an awesome heel. The way she dropped Nikki out of the ring looked like it hurt like a mtherf*cker.
LUKE HARPER PROMO- awesome.
ZEB COULTER PROMO- good
ADAM ROSE vs. JACK SWAGGER(w/Zeb Coulter)- 3/10
JBL accurate described this match as "Randy Couture vs. Bozo the Clown." Speaking of clowns, the Exotic Express appears to have picked one up.
There is a guy with a "Gunner 3:16" sign. I hope he got a flat tire on the way home.
USOS PROMO- very good.
THE USOS vs. LUKE HARPER & ERICK ROWAN- 6.75/10
MONEY IN THE BANK QUALIFYING MATCH: Alberto Del Rio vs. Dolph Ziggler- 6.5/10
RYB-AXEL vs. SIN CARA & GOLDUST- 4/10
Cody hand-picked Cara to be Goldust's partner. Shouldn't he have picked someone who actually wins matches?
HERO OF THE RUSSIAN FEDERATION CEREMONY FOR RUSEV- I enjoyed this, but I can understand other winking it was boring.
TRENT RICHARDSON IS IN THE BUILDING- his kid looks TERRIFIED.
SHIELD PROMOS- all great
RANDY ORTON (w/Triple H) vs. ROMAN REIGNS (w/the Shield)-
WHAT THE F*CK?!
NO! STOP! SETH, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! STOP HITTING DEAN AND ROMAN?! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!