Thank you for your order.

Your goods have been gently taken from our warehouse shelves with sterilized, contamination-free gloves. No animals were harmed in this process.

Our packing specialist, a teenage boy of questionable origin, spoke an incantation and gingerly went about the careful business of placing each of your goods into a suitable mailing container.

Afterwards, our entire office staff, the interns, and the teenage boy of questionable origin, all marched down the street to the post office, at which point we bestowed care of this parcel to the trustworthy and competent workers in the United States postal system.

Your picture is now on our wall with a tag that reads "Customer of the Year." Please don't ask how we got it. As you can imagine, this has left us pretty tired, but we can’t wait for you to order from us again!