BRM Reviews the 2/17/2014 Raw
Posted: Feb 17th, '14, 21:44
JOHN CENA PROMO- he says that whoever wins the Elimination Chamber will get a “guaranteed main event at Wrestlemania 30.” Really John? What about the Thirty Days Rule? And doesn’t Orton get a rematch if he loses?
Cena says that Orton is the only guy who doesn’t have any momentum. What about Christian? Even Orton beat Christian (though Cena totally ignored this fact). He also completely ignored the fact that Cesaro beat Orton on Smackdown. Cesaro and Zeb had to come out and point this out to him. At this point I’m beginning to suspect that Cena doesn’t even watch Smackdown.
They have some very scripted dialogue, and this quickly turned into one of those segments where all of the contenders come out one at a time, each guy interrupting the last, and all say that they are going to win. I usually like these segments, but I didn’t like this one at all.
Then Kane came out (greeted by a lot of loud “YOU SOLD OUT!” chants. Apparently the Authority has decided to put Kane in charge tonight. He books Christian vs. Bryan and Cena vs. Cesaro. Kane says that he will stay at “ringside” and “enjoy a bird’s eye view.” A bird’s eye view is FROM ABOVE. Sorry Kane, but you’re not that tall.
DANIEL BRYAN vs. CHRISTIAN- 7.5/10
So Dragon is distracted with Kane, so Christian turns heel and jumps him from behind. Christian worked over Dragon’s shoulder all match, and they told a fantastic story based around that. After the match, Kane announces that Daniel Bryan will have another match right now… against KANE HIMSELF!
DANIEL BRYAN vs. KANE- 4/10
Kane words over Dragon’s shoulder, and winds up getting DQed for not releasing a hold in the ropes. He then continues to attack Dragon anyway.
RENEE YOUNG INTERVIEWS THE SHIELD- good. A bit more dissension. We get to see some difference in personality between all three.
FANDANGO (w/Summer Rae) vs. SANTINO MARELLA (w/Emma)-
Cole refers to Emma as “the diva they call ‘the Dancing Queen’” on NXT. No one has EVER said that.
Anyway, they gave us a nice little video package of Emma in NXT… but they really should have had her wrestle here.
Lawler says that Summer Rae told him that “the average male thinks about Summer Rae nine times every hour.” This is woefully incorrect. It is actually closer to fifteen.
Anyway, they are making Emma and Santino a couple. BOOOOO! The way they are using Emma, they aren’t allowing any of her personality to show through.
RENEE YOUNG INTERVIEWS MARK HENRY- Henry’s promo was eh.
MARK HENRY vs. ROMAN REIGNS (w/the Shield)- 4/10
Too short for my liking. Ambrose attacks Henry after the match but neither Rollins or Reigns join in, and Reigns kind of calls Ambrose out on it, but not in a babyface way. In fact, Rollins and Reigns reaction to this was to laugh.
After the match, the Wyatts appeared on the TitanTron and Bray cut a good promo (Harper actually got to talk, too!). Reigns called them out, soothe Wyatts showed up. They then do basically the same thing they did last week. That annoyed me. It’s the freakin’ go-home show! If they had just started brawling and had a massive pull-apart, this would have been awesome.
THE RHODES BROTHERS SCHILL MERCH-… OR NOT! Goldust said some really creepy, serial killer-esque sh*t here in a disturbingly casual way. Then Bad News Barrett walked up and knocked over their toys. The Rhodes Brothers then reacted exactly as you would expected a shy six year old to react if an older kid were to come over and knock over their toys. Apparently THIS sh*t was more important than the #1 contender to the Intercontinental Title getting his entrance shown.
KOFI KINGSTON vs. JACK SWAGGER (w/Zeb Coulter)- 5/10
After the match, Big E. Langston comes out. His music appears to have been spritzed up a bit. I don’t like it as much as the old music.
HANDICAP MATCH: Big E. Langston vs. Drew McIntyre & Jinder Mahal- no rating. Good segment.
Swagger and Coulter were at ringside for this match. Zeb grabbed a mic and provided some running commentary for this match, which was great. Big E. cut a great little promo after the match.
LANA & RUSEV PROMO- LOVE IT!
RENEE YOUNG INTERVIEWS JOHN CENA- okay
JOHN CENA vs. CESARO (w/Zeb Coulter & Jack Swagger)- 8.5/10
Cena whipped out the Cena-carana, and from that point on, you knew this was destined to be epic. They did so much awesome stuff in here. A lot of FANTASTIC reversals. F*CKING AWESOME! Let the record show that, for at least some amount of time, this was my Match of the Year leader.
TRIPLE H & VARIOUS PEOPLE BACKSTAGE- Hunter is being a dick to Orton. Orton is sucking up to Hunter. Orton badmouths Batista, just as Batista shows up behind him with comical timing. Del Rio, who is now in a neckbrace, comes up to Batista and says that he will break his arms at Elimination Chamber. Batista, the babyface, then SHOVES THE MAN IN THE NECK BRACE.
RENEE YOUNG INTERVIEWS TITUS O’NEIL- Titus rocked. Apparently he and Darren Young will face off at Elimination Chamber.
THE WYATT FAMILY vs. SIN CARA & LOS MATADORES (w/El Torito)- 5/10
JIMMY USO vs. BILLY GUNN- 3.5/10
Short but effective.
The Outlaws are now wearing D-X gear. I wonder if that is supposed to hint at a subtle connection to Hunter. Jey Uso and Road Dogg were on commentary. Road Dogg made a reference to “With My Baby Tonight.” That made me pop. I also popped for him calling Billy Gunn “Slick Willie.”
SHEAMUS PROMO- great
RANDY ORTON vs. SHEAMUS- 6.75/10
The match was going great until total sh*t finish. For no reason, the Shield run out and attack Sheamus, causing a DQ. Cena and Dragon some out ot make the save. Then Cesaro comes out, then the Wyatts come out and everyone brawls. It was so painfully obvious that they wanted to have a giant show-ending schmoz, so they just decided to do one without putting any thought into it. Also, Christian not coming out here just totally buries him.
Overall, an awesome Raw aside from the sh*tty ending.
Cena says that Orton is the only guy who doesn’t have any momentum. What about Christian? Even Orton beat Christian (though Cena totally ignored this fact). He also completely ignored the fact that Cesaro beat Orton on Smackdown. Cesaro and Zeb had to come out and point this out to him. At this point I’m beginning to suspect that Cena doesn’t even watch Smackdown.
They have some very scripted dialogue, and this quickly turned into one of those segments where all of the contenders come out one at a time, each guy interrupting the last, and all say that they are going to win. I usually like these segments, but I didn’t like this one at all.
Then Kane came out (greeted by a lot of loud “YOU SOLD OUT!” chants. Apparently the Authority has decided to put Kane in charge tonight. He books Christian vs. Bryan and Cena vs. Cesaro. Kane says that he will stay at “ringside” and “enjoy a bird’s eye view.” A bird’s eye view is FROM ABOVE. Sorry Kane, but you’re not that tall.
DANIEL BRYAN vs. CHRISTIAN- 7.5/10
So Dragon is distracted with Kane, so Christian turns heel and jumps him from behind. Christian worked over Dragon’s shoulder all match, and they told a fantastic story based around that. After the match, Kane announces that Daniel Bryan will have another match right now… against KANE HIMSELF!
DANIEL BRYAN vs. KANE- 4/10
Kane words over Dragon’s shoulder, and winds up getting DQed for not releasing a hold in the ropes. He then continues to attack Dragon anyway.
RENEE YOUNG INTERVIEWS THE SHIELD- good. A bit more dissension. We get to see some difference in personality between all three.
FANDANGO (w/Summer Rae) vs. SANTINO MARELLA (w/Emma)-
Cole refers to Emma as “the diva they call ‘the Dancing Queen’” on NXT. No one has EVER said that.
Anyway, they gave us a nice little video package of Emma in NXT… but they really should have had her wrestle here.
Lawler says that Summer Rae told him that “the average male thinks about Summer Rae nine times every hour.” This is woefully incorrect. It is actually closer to fifteen.
Anyway, they are making Emma and Santino a couple. BOOOOO! The way they are using Emma, they aren’t allowing any of her personality to show through.
RENEE YOUNG INTERVIEWS MARK HENRY- Henry’s promo was eh.
MARK HENRY vs. ROMAN REIGNS (w/the Shield)- 4/10
Too short for my liking. Ambrose attacks Henry after the match but neither Rollins or Reigns join in, and Reigns kind of calls Ambrose out on it, but not in a babyface way. In fact, Rollins and Reigns reaction to this was to laugh.
After the match, the Wyatts appeared on the TitanTron and Bray cut a good promo (Harper actually got to talk, too!). Reigns called them out, soothe Wyatts showed up. They then do basically the same thing they did last week. That annoyed me. It’s the freakin’ go-home show! If they had just started brawling and had a massive pull-apart, this would have been awesome.
THE RHODES BROTHERS SCHILL MERCH-… OR NOT! Goldust said some really creepy, serial killer-esque sh*t here in a disturbingly casual way. Then Bad News Barrett walked up and knocked over their toys. The Rhodes Brothers then reacted exactly as you would expected a shy six year old to react if an older kid were to come over and knock over their toys. Apparently THIS sh*t was more important than the #1 contender to the Intercontinental Title getting his entrance shown.
KOFI KINGSTON vs. JACK SWAGGER (w/Zeb Coulter)- 5/10
After the match, Big E. Langston comes out. His music appears to have been spritzed up a bit. I don’t like it as much as the old music.
HANDICAP MATCH: Big E. Langston vs. Drew McIntyre & Jinder Mahal- no rating. Good segment.
Swagger and Coulter were at ringside for this match. Zeb grabbed a mic and provided some running commentary for this match, which was great. Big E. cut a great little promo after the match.
LANA & RUSEV PROMO- LOVE IT!
RENEE YOUNG INTERVIEWS JOHN CENA- okay
JOHN CENA vs. CESARO (w/Zeb Coulter & Jack Swagger)- 8.5/10
Cena whipped out the Cena-carana, and from that point on, you knew this was destined to be epic. They did so much awesome stuff in here. A lot of FANTASTIC reversals. F*CKING AWESOME! Let the record show that, for at least some amount of time, this was my Match of the Year leader.
TRIPLE H & VARIOUS PEOPLE BACKSTAGE- Hunter is being a dick to Orton. Orton is sucking up to Hunter. Orton badmouths Batista, just as Batista shows up behind him with comical timing. Del Rio, who is now in a neckbrace, comes up to Batista and says that he will break his arms at Elimination Chamber. Batista, the babyface, then SHOVES THE MAN IN THE NECK BRACE.
RENEE YOUNG INTERVIEWS TITUS O’NEIL- Titus rocked. Apparently he and Darren Young will face off at Elimination Chamber.
THE WYATT FAMILY vs. SIN CARA & LOS MATADORES (w/El Torito)- 5/10
JIMMY USO vs. BILLY GUNN- 3.5/10
Short but effective.
The Outlaws are now wearing D-X gear. I wonder if that is supposed to hint at a subtle connection to Hunter. Jey Uso and Road Dogg were on commentary. Road Dogg made a reference to “With My Baby Tonight.” That made me pop. I also popped for him calling Billy Gunn “Slick Willie.”
SHEAMUS PROMO- great
RANDY ORTON vs. SHEAMUS- 6.75/10
The match was going great until total sh*t finish. For no reason, the Shield run out and attack Sheamus, causing a DQ. Cena and Dragon some out ot make the save. Then Cesaro comes out, then the Wyatts come out and everyone brawls. It was so painfully obvious that they wanted to have a giant show-ending schmoz, so they just decided to do one without putting any thought into it. Also, Christian not coming out here just totally buries him.
Overall, an awesome Raw aside from the sh*tty ending.