BRM Reviews the 11/15/2013 Smackdown (SH*T!)

[Big Red Machine]

THE USOS vs. THE WYATT FAMILY (w/Bray Wyatt)- 6/10
The Wyatt’s beat the Usos down after the match. I was very surprised that Dragon and Punk didn’t come out to make the save here. Bray Wyatt cut a good promo afterward.

RYBACK & AXEL ARGUE BACKSTAGE- Ryback refuses to team with Axel if Axel is still a Heyman guy. Axel says he is no longer a Heyman guy.

TRUTH & PTP BACKSTAGE- kind of pointless, but at least it was entertaining.

NATALYA vs. TAMINA SNUKA (w/AJ Lee)- DUD!
The big scary monster of the Divas’ Division taps out in less than eighty seconds. Who the hell thought this was a good idea?

VICKIE & MADDOX BACKSTAGE- they bicker over who Steph & Hunter will yell at when they get back from vacation. Technically this is hype for Raw, but does anyone really care?

THE PRIME TIME PLAYERS & R-TRUTH vs. 3MB- 1/10
JBL claims that El Torito has heat with him because Torito thinks that the horns on JBL’s limo came from his father. Fantastic!
So they go to Britain and dress 3MB up in the Union Jack… and then have them lose? WTF! They are heels! If they’re going to lose, don’t dress them up in the home country’s colors!

ARM WRESTLING CONTEST: John Cena vs. Alberto Del Rio- no rating good segment.
Exactly how you would expect it to go. Cena wins the arm wrestling contest easily. Del Rio claims he wasn’t ready and wants to go again. Cena agrees and Del Rio attacks him, injuring his arm and putting him through the table.

THE FUNKADACTYLS vs. THE BELLA TWINS- 1/10
This match was on the show purely so Michael Cole could talk about Total Divas. I understand that Naomi has a nice ass, but she needs a real finisher

RENEE YOUNG INTERVIEWS PUNK & DRAGON- Punk was good. Dragon didn’t do anything. It is just so weird for me to see Dragon standing there and people calling someone else “the best in the world.”

HANDICAP MATCH: The Great Khali vs. Hunico & Camacho- pointless squash.
Getting jobbed out to a giant loser who can barely work in an entirely pointless match. Welcome back to the roster, guys!

RAW REBOUND- there is no excuse for this taking up OVER TEN MINUTES of the show. Absolutely none. Just show the highlights. The important stuff.

CURTIS AXEL & RYBACK vs. CM PUNK & DANIEL BRYAN- 5.75/10
The finish comes when the Wyatt’s magically transport into the ring, but Dragon and Punk hide from them like cowards. Axel and Ryback are also not getting along, and even with this, the Wyatt’s showed up before Dragon and Punk could actually beat them, so Dragon and Punk don’t even get a win. Ryback shoves Axel into the Wyatts, so they beat Axel up, then beat Ryback up, too. Then after the heels have finished beating up other heels, the babyfaces emerge from hiding and attack them from behind. Is there anything right about this picture?

Overall, a sh*tty episode of Smackdown. The wrestling wasn't good, the booking was dumb, and it moved nothing forward at all. Survivor Series is in less than nine days and they only have three matches announced!

STUPID ANNOUNCER QUOTES:
1. Michael Cole misuses the term “sacrificial lamb.” I guess there are bound to be some negative effects of having had to partner with Taz for so long.