BRM Reviews the 11/4/2013 Raw (KANE IN A SUIT?)
Posted: Nov 5th, '13, 15:50
CM PUNK vs. LUKE HARPER (w/Bray Wyatt & Erick Rowan)- 6/10
Good match, but Punk winning was a mistake. If Punk is going to get beaten down afterwards anyway, why not give the monster heel a win? Even if it isn’t clean, it is still better than Punk winning here.
After the match, the Wyatts beat Punk down until a chair-wielding Daniel Bryan makes the save. At least I think it was Daniel Bryan. With the way his hair was straight and tied back in a short ponytail, he looked more like Damien Sandow’s shorter, brunet brother.
TRIPLE H & COLE SITDOWN- Hunter bans Big Show from WWE events for life. Okay. Big Show now can’t buy tickets. Decent progression, but I’m pretty sure this won’t stop Big Show from driving a truck into the arena again.
CM PUNK PROMO- decent
COLE TALKS WITH HEYMAN OVER THE PHONE- Heyman is awesome! He was going over all of his injuries and demanded an apology from Punk and all of the fans and started crying.
RYBACK vs. THE GREAT KHALI (w/Santino Marella & Hornswoggle)- DUD!
They have a boring match that no one cared about which entirely consisted of strikes, and which ended when Ryback,m the guy who has made a career out of performing feats of strength like lifting large men up onto his shoulders, pinned the gigantic Khali with a standard clothesline. He then beats Santino up after the match.
COMMERICAL FOR HOUSE SHOWS- I live in New Jersey, so during this commercial break, I saw a commercial for some house shows in late December in NY & NJ. I normally wouldn’t comment on something like this, but the content of this commercial really annoyed me for two reasons:
1. Big Show was advertised as being on these shows because he was “fulfilling his contractual obligations.” So he had singed to do some house shows in late December, but wasn’t signed to do any of the TV Tapings and PPVs that took place soon after he was fired? Come on! You are running an angle where the man was not only fired, but just got “banned for life” from all WWE events. DON’T ADVERTISE HIS FOR THE F*CKING SHOWS!
2. Aside from Big Show, the other two wrestlers who were heavily featured in the commercial were Cena and Del Rio. Daniel Bryan and Randy Orton were not mentioned at all. WWE has spent the past three months telling us that these two men are the “face of the WWE.” THEY SHOULD BE ALL OVER THE F*CKING ADS! If they’re not going to show up because they have to be someone else, the “card subject to change” disclaimer protects you. There is absolutely no reason for them not to have been the centerpieces of this add (along with Cena).
KOFI KINGSTON vs. ALBERTO DEL RIO- 6.75/10
BIG SHOW’S EVIDENCE IN HIS LAWSUIT- okay, I’m not a legal expert, so I can’t speak to the rest of it, but including “slander and defamation of character” in there made the whole thing seem like a joke. Someone is suing someone for cutting a f*cking promo on him. IT’S PRO WRESTLING!
RANDY ORTON PROMO- he says that all of the men in the arena will never measure up to him and that all of the women in the arena are fantasizing about him. A good heel promo simulatanously ruined and corroborated by the loud squeals of tweenage girl ecstasy coming from all around the arena.
So WWE & K-Mart have this new commercial which has a kid opening presents at his birthday party, and getting some WWE-related gifts. Then they pan out and there is a gigantic birthday gift in the corner and Miz bursts out of it, and my first thought was “so is Miz going to now attack the children?”
RANDY ORTON vs. BIG E. LANGSTON- 6.25/10
FANDANGO & SUMMER RAE vs. TYSON KIDD & NATALYA- 4/10
I was going to ask whether Nattie’s last name should be “Kidd” now, but seeing as how Tyson took her finishing move, I guess he is Tyson Neidhart now.
SANDOW & COULTER PROMOS- Zeb was good, Sandow was okay.
JOHN CENA & THE RHODES BROTHERS vs. DAMIEN SANDOW & THE REAL AMERICANS (w/Zeb Coulter)- 7.25/10
A great match, but the finish doesn’t help anyone. The Real Americans already pinned the tag champs! You need to keep building them up as challengers! Having Goldust pin Cesaro does the opposite of this!
THE BOARD WANTS THE BIG SHOW IN THE BUILDING- Hunter & Steph are now fighting. This angle didn’t need that. The logic behind Show being allowed in is solid, though.
CURTIS AXEL vs. DOLPH ZIGGLER- 6/10
A good, athletic match. I’d love to see what these guys could do with ten more minutes.
DRAGON PROMO- good
HUNTER, STPEH & VICKIE- umm… didn’t the Usos come out for their match before the last commercial break? What happened with that? Shouldn’t we be paying attention to the match?
THE USOS vs. HEATH SLATER & DREW MCINTYRE (w/Jinder Mahal)- pointless squash
RENEE YOUNG INTERVIEWS LOS MATADORES- Awkwardly sexually harassing an announcer for the win.
THE BELLAS & EVA MARIE vs. AJ LEE, AKSANA, & TAMINA- 0.5/10
Cole tells us that “Nikki is returning from a shin injury which cost her a number of months of her career.” Why has this never been mention before?
AKSANA is in the f*cking match… and they have Eva Marie pin TAMINA! WHAT THE F*CK?!
CLOSING SEGMENT- yeah… I stopped paying attention half way through this. All I know is that Show got his job back, The Shield came out and did nothing, Show got a match against Orton at Survivor Series, then Show said he is going to take over the company (suspiciously like the way I booked Heyman’s takeover #BRMBookedItFirst), then Big Show was a gigantic douchebag, so Hunter put him in a handicap match against Orton and The Shield.
HANDICAP MATCH: Big Show vs. Randy Orton & The Shield (w/Triple H & Stephanie McMahon)- bad segment.
Show beats up not only The Shield, but Orton, too. The heels are saved by an unrecognizable character in a suit coming out to Kane’s music and causing a distracting. The heels then assault Show with chairs and the Shield gives him a Triple Powerbomb through the announce table.
Overall, a pretty good Raw in the ring, but other parts of it weren’t so great. At least Big Show’s run-ins are finally over.
Good match, but Punk winning was a mistake. If Punk is going to get beaten down afterwards anyway, why not give the monster heel a win? Even if it isn’t clean, it is still better than Punk winning here.
After the match, the Wyatts beat Punk down until a chair-wielding Daniel Bryan makes the save. At least I think it was Daniel Bryan. With the way his hair was straight and tied back in a short ponytail, he looked more like Damien Sandow’s shorter, brunet brother.
TRIPLE H & COLE SITDOWN- Hunter bans Big Show from WWE events for life. Okay. Big Show now can’t buy tickets. Decent progression, but I’m pretty sure this won’t stop Big Show from driving a truck into the arena again.
CM PUNK PROMO- decent
COLE TALKS WITH HEYMAN OVER THE PHONE- Heyman is awesome! He was going over all of his injuries and demanded an apology from Punk and all of the fans and started crying.
RYBACK vs. THE GREAT KHALI (w/Santino Marella & Hornswoggle)- DUD!
They have a boring match that no one cared about which entirely consisted of strikes, and which ended when Ryback,m the guy who has made a career out of performing feats of strength like lifting large men up onto his shoulders, pinned the gigantic Khali with a standard clothesline. He then beats Santino up after the match.
COMMERICAL FOR HOUSE SHOWS- I live in New Jersey, so during this commercial break, I saw a commercial for some house shows in late December in NY & NJ. I normally wouldn’t comment on something like this, but the content of this commercial really annoyed me for two reasons:
1. Big Show was advertised as being on these shows because he was “fulfilling his contractual obligations.” So he had singed to do some house shows in late December, but wasn’t signed to do any of the TV Tapings and PPVs that took place soon after he was fired? Come on! You are running an angle where the man was not only fired, but just got “banned for life” from all WWE events. DON’T ADVERTISE HIS FOR THE F*CKING SHOWS!
2. Aside from Big Show, the other two wrestlers who were heavily featured in the commercial were Cena and Del Rio. Daniel Bryan and Randy Orton were not mentioned at all. WWE has spent the past three months telling us that these two men are the “face of the WWE.” THEY SHOULD BE ALL OVER THE F*CKING ADS! If they’re not going to show up because they have to be someone else, the “card subject to change” disclaimer protects you. There is absolutely no reason for them not to have been the centerpieces of this add (along with Cena).
KOFI KINGSTON vs. ALBERTO DEL RIO- 6.75/10
BIG SHOW’S EVIDENCE IN HIS LAWSUIT- okay, I’m not a legal expert, so I can’t speak to the rest of it, but including “slander and defamation of character” in there made the whole thing seem like a joke. Someone is suing someone for cutting a f*cking promo on him. IT’S PRO WRESTLING!
RANDY ORTON PROMO- he says that all of the men in the arena will never measure up to him and that all of the women in the arena are fantasizing about him. A good heel promo simulatanously ruined and corroborated by the loud squeals of tweenage girl ecstasy coming from all around the arena.
So WWE & K-Mart have this new commercial which has a kid opening presents at his birthday party, and getting some WWE-related gifts. Then they pan out and there is a gigantic birthday gift in the corner and Miz bursts out of it, and my first thought was “so is Miz going to now attack the children?”
RANDY ORTON vs. BIG E. LANGSTON- 6.25/10
FANDANGO & SUMMER RAE vs. TYSON KIDD & NATALYA- 4/10
I was going to ask whether Nattie’s last name should be “Kidd” now, but seeing as how Tyson took her finishing move, I guess he is Tyson Neidhart now.
SANDOW & COULTER PROMOS- Zeb was good, Sandow was okay.
JOHN CENA & THE RHODES BROTHERS vs. DAMIEN SANDOW & THE REAL AMERICANS (w/Zeb Coulter)- 7.25/10
A great match, but the finish doesn’t help anyone. The Real Americans already pinned the tag champs! You need to keep building them up as challengers! Having Goldust pin Cesaro does the opposite of this!
THE BOARD WANTS THE BIG SHOW IN THE BUILDING- Hunter & Steph are now fighting. This angle didn’t need that. The logic behind Show being allowed in is solid, though.
CURTIS AXEL vs. DOLPH ZIGGLER- 6/10
A good, athletic match. I’d love to see what these guys could do with ten more minutes.
DRAGON PROMO- good
HUNTER, STPEH & VICKIE- umm… didn’t the Usos come out for their match before the last commercial break? What happened with that? Shouldn’t we be paying attention to the match?
THE USOS vs. HEATH SLATER & DREW MCINTYRE (w/Jinder Mahal)- pointless squash
RENEE YOUNG INTERVIEWS LOS MATADORES- Awkwardly sexually harassing an announcer for the win.
THE BELLAS & EVA MARIE vs. AJ LEE, AKSANA, & TAMINA- 0.5/10
Cole tells us that “Nikki is returning from a shin injury which cost her a number of months of her career.” Why has this never been mention before?
AKSANA is in the f*cking match… and they have Eva Marie pin TAMINA! WHAT THE F*CK?!
CLOSING SEGMENT- yeah… I stopped paying attention half way through this. All I know is that Show got his job back, The Shield came out and did nothing, Show got a match against Orton at Survivor Series, then Show said he is going to take over the company (suspiciously like the way I booked Heyman’s takeover #BRMBookedItFirst), then Big Show was a gigantic douchebag, so Hunter put him in a handicap match against Orton and The Shield.
HANDICAP MATCH: Big Show vs. Randy Orton & The Shield (w/Triple H & Stephanie McMahon)- bad segment.
Show beats up not only The Shield, but Orton, too. The heels are saved by an unrecognizable character in a suit coming out to Kane’s music and causing a distracting. The heels then assault Show with chairs and the Shield gives him a Triple Powerbomb through the announce table.
Overall, a pretty good Raw in the ring, but other parts of it weren’t so great. At least Big Show’s run-ins are finally over.